Just Once More

Here is something I wrote a couple weeks ago and would love feedback. Warning - it is quite dark in its subject matter... But thanks for reading!


Just Once More

I come home from work
to my two daughters and wife,
from my comfortable job,
to my wonderful life.


More, more, more,

Chants the song in my head.
"Be quiet you,
I thought you were dead.

I do not need you,
my life is complete.
I have been good and clean,
which was quite a feat.

I am a great CEO,
whom my wife deeply loves.
Two sweet beautiful daughters,
my kind, precious doves."

I argue and wrestle
till I have won.
But the demons in my head
are never done.

Years pass, and life's great.
The road's smooth and true.
Then what happens next
comes out of the blue.

Bad investments were made,
the money comes to a halt.
The company falls,
and it's all my fault.

Devastated, distraught,
and try as I might,
the company never
again took flight.

The stress is so great,
the guilt stings my soul.

More, just once more,
just to lessen the toll.


"But I've been so strong,
I've been so good."
But weak was my argument,
from where I stood.

I can take your worries,
I can take your pain,
More, just once more,
Even just for one day.


Forget your cares,
your duties weigh so much.
Do not be afraid
of my gentle touch.


I longed for the freedom,
I longed not to care.
Just one more time.
Once more, I swear.

But once was too sweet,
I longed to return.
I left my worries behind,
my responsibility and concern.

I then find my house empty,
myself finally alone.
The ones who caused me grief,
don't even try to phone.

More, just once more,
calls the voice in my head.
"Of course," I reply

"I will keep you fed."

Sometimes I forget
to buy, so it cries,
More, more, more
More, or you will DIE


Die of the pain
of the choices you made,
the grief and the shame
of the family you betrayed.


More, More, More, More!

Screams the voice.
Of course, of course,
I have no choice.

I take more than the norm,
Because the need is so great.
Then I lay down to nap,
Because its so late.

Then I get up and see
A man laying in my place.
He's tattered and unclean,
and honestly, a disgrace.

He looks like me,
but me, he is not.
For I would never
look like this lot.

He is in my house,
but I do not care.
It is not my worry
for how he will fare.

More, more,
my voice chants inside.
Over to my stash,
I quickly glide.

I reach for my stash,
but my fingers pass through.
I stare in amazement,
Can this be true?

More, more, more
the voice louder grew.
I tried again,
but the same results anew.

Louder and louder
cries the voice in my head.
I try and try,
the only thing changing is dread.

My hands fail me,
so I try a different way.
To consume the stash,
to swallow and stay.

But I open my mouth,
and pass through.
The voice grows louder.
More failure, nothing new.

Try harder, you fool.
More, just once more.
And I'll give you
the peace and happiness you adore.


I scream in frustration,
but no sound comes out.
More, more, more,
It continues to shout.

The pain strikes in vengeance.
I need my fix.
I try to grab it,
kick, eat, lick.

More, more, more!
What is going on?
I can see you with my eyes,
but my comfort is gone.

You fool, you failure,
More, I say!
Then your pain,
I can put at bay.


I sob in defeat,
I know not what to do.
And the voice grows louder
at this cue.

More, more,
Or you will remember it all.
More, more,
Or to hell you will fall.

More, more!
Or you will remember the cost!
More, more!
Or you will remember the loss!


MORE, MORE!
To be numb and free again!
MORE, MORE!
And no more with me contend!


Feed me, FEED ME,
more, more, more!
MORE, MORE, MORE,

Just this once more.
 
Back
Top