The worst genie ever

They do. However, the rich monopolize it, keeping the poor trapped on earth whilst the better offs live on paradise planets, the technology top advanced and regulated for the common man to access.

I wish that a single flower would stay beautiful forever and be kept in a place accessible to all for free with no one able to steal it.
 
Wish granted. You have now killed everyone in existence, as the dirt has no end and consumes all.

Can I have a new collar for my cat? Pink and normal.
 
Granted. The collar is pink, new and normal, but a size too small to fit your cat.

I wish for the sky to be purple for a day.
 
Granted, but the purple color is caused by our atmosphere being so weakened solar radiation makes it through causing purple northern lights to shower down, quite a spectacle before we die from the radiation.

I wish to win a single game of settlers of catan against my computer math teacher without hurting anyone including myself mentally or physically.
 
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Granted. You win a single game, but lose 20 rematches ruining your relationship.

I wish I was as wealthy as all my friends without reducing their wealth to mine.
 
You are, however inflation has rendered your wealth worthless and the economy is collapsing.

I wish that my friend had enough money to buy raft without pirating and have the full functionality of the game, be able to play it on his computer and to play it with me, without depriving anyone else of the game or their money unjustly.
 
Granted. The game code/money is in an envelope on a real raft in an undisclosed location.

I wish our apartment complex allowed pets.
 
Granted, but your neighbor had a pet Python and it slithered through the pipes, into your toilet and out then through your apartment and ate all your pets.

I wish I had a better screen protector for my phone.
 
Granted. During the swap of the screen protectors you drop your phone and it cracks in a spiderweb pattern.

I wish for an uninhabited spaceship capable of being piloted by me.
 
Granted, but its ability for interstellar travel capability was utterly destroyed by a passing meteor and you starve to death as supplies and power eventually run out.

I wish I could speak in rhyme for all time.
 
Granted but you are now unable to say any word that doesn't have a rhyme, hope you don't like oranges.

I wish I was good at piano.
 
Granted. Your dice are hidden inside this pile of dice sets. Find the one that is yours and you shall go free. If you try to leave with the incorrect set then you will be turned into a dice set.

I wish for this post to be #377
 
Granted. Your dice are hidden inside this pile of dice sets. Find the one that is yours and you shall go free. If you try to leave with the incorrect set then you will be turned into a dice set.

I wish for this post to be #377

Granted, but as I have now stolen your post, I now retain all rights to it and, as such demote it back to #376 again. Which returns the rights to you, causing the wish to push it to #377 and back again for all eternity until it breaks the internet from it constantly having to always switch at the rate of wishes, which are inherently instant.

I wish for this post to be deleted.
 
Granted. It is deleted. However, if it is deleted you do not wish for it to be such, thusly reverting, thusly deleting. The paradox splits reality in two.
Welcome to Charlie STC.

I wish for an asteroid in the asteroid belt the size of New York to be owned by me and my bloodline until the end of the universe.
 
Granted. You own this asteroid, and your bloodline, but you die alone and without children. Same with your siblings and any other living relatives.

I wish to continue the dream I had last night.
 
Granted. You continue the dream, but it turns into an everlasting nightmare. You fall into a coma.

I wish for an unlimited steam giftcard.
 
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