Raptor Jesus
Earl of Phantomhive
The plan couldn't have possibly gone any worse.
“I’m telling you! This thing, it didn't work!” Came the voice of an oddly Russian sounding… toad, who was holding what appeared to be an average flail. As he said this, a familiar lizard snatched away the weapon and pressed a button on the handle. Once he did so, the ball on the flail opened up and a portal appeared.
“It works fine for me.” Toffee said, monotoned voice as ever. “He sabatoged it!” Buff Frog replied, pointing directly at Toffee as if they were two brothers arguing over a broken toy.
Ludo, the small bird creature which both parties were working for, suddenly interjected, pointing up at Buff Frog with an angered look on his face. “I rescued you from a life from the swamp! I took you in! I even gave you pants! And this is how you repay--WAIT A MINUTE!!” Ludo paused for a moment and stared down at Buff Frog, who wasn't even wearing pants at all. “Where are your pants?!”
“Well… uh--” “OH GET REAL!!” Ludo shouted before Buff Frog could provide an adequate answer to his inquiry about the pants, facepalming as he did so. “You've brought shame on this house! Now go to your room!” Ludo shouted, pointing towards the direction of Buff Frog’s room, causing the soldier to stomp off teary eyed. Face palming again, this time with both hands, Ludo rubbed his face in his palms before speaking again. “I just don't know what to do about him! I mean, should I take away his milkshake privileges?” Ludo asked as he looked back up at Toffee, who sighed in response.
“Seriously? This was idiot proof!” The lizard finally replied before closing the flail up. “You know what you have to do.” Ludo simply sighed in response and nodded.
“Just… give me some time to think.” He replied, sounding generally disheartened before waltzing back to his own room.
“Of course. Take all the time you need.”
***
Back in Buff Frog’s room, the soldier sat on his bed with his hands in his palms, seeming pretty down about what had just occurred. “Ugh, that dumb Toffee! He is liar! He had something to do with the portal not working, I know he did!” Buff Frog shouted as he slammed his fist against his palm.
The humanoid frog then proceeded to glance around his room, humming under his breath.
“Hmmm… there must be some way to prove that he lied to Ludo…” Eventually, Buff Frog’s eyes landed on a laptop that was seated on a nearby desk, causing his face to light up like the idea that just sprouted in his brain.
“Heh heh heh… I have you now, Mr. Toffee.” Buff Frog said in a sinister tone to no one in particular.
***
Back in Ludo’s office, the bird creature was sitting at his desk pondering when Buff Frog suddenly burst in through the door, earning a yelp from Ludo.
“MASTER!!” Buff Frog yelled as he slammed the door open, then slamming it shut soon after.
He screeched loudly before narrowing his eyes at Buff Frog once he realized it was him. “Buff Frog? What are you doing in my office?! Didn't I send you to your room?” Ludo asked, his confusion having soon turned into anger at the sight of the frog.
“Yes master, you did! But I have to show you… this.” Buff Frog said with a smile that stretched across his entire face as he held up a standard VHS tape on it with the words “Toffee’s Downfall” crudely written on it in black marker. Before Ludo could even ask what it was, Buff Frog ran over to a conveniently placed VHS player hooked up to a TV before inserting it.
The video was in black and white, and on the screen showed Toffee back in his own room, which was almost as nice as Ludo’s. It showed Toffee taking off his suit jacket and rubbing his hands before sitting on his bed and groaning.
“Ugh, that imbecile Ludo will fall for just about anything, won't he?” Toffee asked to himself before yawning. ”Luckily, with that idiot frog soon out of the way, I can easily overthrow him with little to no effort. His so called “army” is perhaps even more dumb and gullible than he is.” Toffee said before falling back onto his bed and shutting his eyes, the video ending there.
As the video ended, Ludo fell silent and his eye twitched. “Master? Are you alright?” Buff Frog asked, though no response came from Ludo. After a few moments of silence from the bird, Ludo finally shouted,
“TOFFEE!!!”
***
“You called me, sir?” Toffee asked as he entered the office, only to find a very angry Ludo and a Buff Frog that couldn't stop grinning. Growing suspicious, Toffee was about to exit before Ludo mashed a single button on the remote, causing the video from earlier to play.
Once the video ended, Toffee stared blankly at the screen then back down at Ludo, not seeming phased in the slightest. “I see…” Toffee muttered aloud.
“How could you?! I trusted you, and this is how you repay me?! By framing one of my own men and plotting to overthrow me?! ME?!” Ludo shouted as he stomped on both his feet like a toddler throwing a tantrum.
“You got me.” Toffee replied with a snide smirk.
“Well that does it! You are fired! And Buff Frog, you are promoted to general!” Ludo shouted again, earning a squeal of delight from the newly appointed general.
“...you're pathetic.” Toffee said before simply standing up and exiting the castle without another word.
***
Once he was out of the castle, Toffee sighed to himself. Though, he'd find a way around this. Twenty years of planning wouldn't be for naught. Not after all the blood, sweat, and tears he'd put into his scheme.
After a moment of pondering, a sinister smile crept across Toffee’s face as he remembered a particular individual he'd encountered not too long ago. One which he could perhaps use to his advantage more than Ludo ever could have been used for.
Lucas Baker.
“I’m telling you! This thing, it didn't work!” Came the voice of an oddly Russian sounding… toad, who was holding what appeared to be an average flail. As he said this, a familiar lizard snatched away the weapon and pressed a button on the handle. Once he did so, the ball on the flail opened up and a portal appeared.
“It works fine for me.” Toffee said, monotoned voice as ever. “He sabatoged it!” Buff Frog replied, pointing directly at Toffee as if they were two brothers arguing over a broken toy.
Ludo, the small bird creature which both parties were working for, suddenly interjected, pointing up at Buff Frog with an angered look on his face. “I rescued you from a life from the swamp! I took you in! I even gave you pants! And this is how you repay--WAIT A MINUTE!!” Ludo paused for a moment and stared down at Buff Frog, who wasn't even wearing pants at all. “Where are your pants?!”
“Well… uh--” “OH GET REAL!!” Ludo shouted before Buff Frog could provide an adequate answer to his inquiry about the pants, facepalming as he did so. “You've brought shame on this house! Now go to your room!” Ludo shouted, pointing towards the direction of Buff Frog’s room, causing the soldier to stomp off teary eyed. Face palming again, this time with both hands, Ludo rubbed his face in his palms before speaking again. “I just don't know what to do about him! I mean, should I take away his milkshake privileges?” Ludo asked as he looked back up at Toffee, who sighed in response.
“Seriously? This was idiot proof!” The lizard finally replied before closing the flail up. “You know what you have to do.” Ludo simply sighed in response and nodded.
“Just… give me some time to think.” He replied, sounding generally disheartened before waltzing back to his own room.
“Of course. Take all the time you need.”
***
Back in Buff Frog’s room, the soldier sat on his bed with his hands in his palms, seeming pretty down about what had just occurred. “Ugh, that dumb Toffee! He is liar! He had something to do with the portal not working, I know he did!” Buff Frog shouted as he slammed his fist against his palm.
The humanoid frog then proceeded to glance around his room, humming under his breath.
“Hmmm… there must be some way to prove that he lied to Ludo…” Eventually, Buff Frog’s eyes landed on a laptop that was seated on a nearby desk, causing his face to light up like the idea that just sprouted in his brain.
“Heh heh heh… I have you now, Mr. Toffee.” Buff Frog said in a sinister tone to no one in particular.
***
Back in Ludo’s office, the bird creature was sitting at his desk pondering when Buff Frog suddenly burst in through the door, earning a yelp from Ludo.
“MASTER!!” Buff Frog yelled as he slammed the door open, then slamming it shut soon after.
He screeched loudly before narrowing his eyes at Buff Frog once he realized it was him. “Buff Frog? What are you doing in my office?! Didn't I send you to your room?” Ludo asked, his confusion having soon turned into anger at the sight of the frog.
“Yes master, you did! But I have to show you… this.” Buff Frog said with a smile that stretched across his entire face as he held up a standard VHS tape on it with the words “Toffee’s Downfall” crudely written on it in black marker. Before Ludo could even ask what it was, Buff Frog ran over to a conveniently placed VHS player hooked up to a TV before inserting it.
The video was in black and white, and on the screen showed Toffee back in his own room, which was almost as nice as Ludo’s. It showed Toffee taking off his suit jacket and rubbing his hands before sitting on his bed and groaning.
“Ugh, that imbecile Ludo will fall for just about anything, won't he?” Toffee asked to himself before yawning. ”Luckily, with that idiot frog soon out of the way, I can easily overthrow him with little to no effort. His so called “army” is perhaps even more dumb and gullible than he is.” Toffee said before falling back onto his bed and shutting his eyes, the video ending there.
As the video ended, Ludo fell silent and his eye twitched. “Master? Are you alright?” Buff Frog asked, though no response came from Ludo. After a few moments of silence from the bird, Ludo finally shouted,
“TOFFEE!!!”
***
“You called me, sir?” Toffee asked as he entered the office, only to find a very angry Ludo and a Buff Frog that couldn't stop grinning. Growing suspicious, Toffee was about to exit before Ludo mashed a single button on the remote, causing the video from earlier to play.
Once the video ended, Toffee stared blankly at the screen then back down at Ludo, not seeming phased in the slightest. “I see…” Toffee muttered aloud.
“How could you?! I trusted you, and this is how you repay me?! By framing one of my own men and plotting to overthrow me?! ME?!” Ludo shouted as he stomped on both his feet like a toddler throwing a tantrum.
“You got me.” Toffee replied with a snide smirk.
“Well that does it! You are fired! And Buff Frog, you are promoted to general!” Ludo shouted again, earning a squeal of delight from the newly appointed general.
“...you're pathetic.” Toffee said before simply standing up and exiting the castle without another word.
***
Once he was out of the castle, Toffee sighed to himself. Though, he'd find a way around this. Twenty years of planning wouldn't be for naught. Not after all the blood, sweat, and tears he'd put into his scheme.
After a moment of pondering, a sinister smile crept across Toffee’s face as he remembered a particular individual he'd encountered not too long ago. One which he could perhaps use to his advantage more than Ludo ever could have been used for.
Lucas Baker.