OmegaRai
Member
Quote: "Don't be afraid to be yourself. Often we fear who we truly are the most."
Name: Mystic Eliott
Age: 16
Species: Descended
Blood%: 50%, Sol
Gender: Female
Sex Preference: Bisexual
Height: 5' 4"
Weight: 65 lbs, 2 oz.
Physical appearance:
Apparel:
Vehicle: A coach. 45 mph
Personality: She is kind, somewhat hot- headed, and cheerful. Her curiosity overwhelms her at times, causing people to question her. She loves her friends, exploring, and nature. If
Occupation: Student
Faction: Aion
Pet: None
Adv. App.: None
Exp: She is self taught, making her weak but happy to help out.
Spells: She is a Manifestor. Her spells include summoning and she is learning how to spellcast.
Abilities/Powers: She can summon any form of water, and use it to her will. (Kinda like a Waterbender.) She has taught herself some spells, but they are simple ones.
Weapons:
History: Mystic grew up in a noble family, but both of her parents were killed due to testing. She now takes care of her younger twin brothers, who are Manipulators. Once she heard about the danger that her home was in, she began to teach herself how to use her abilities. She helped her younger brothers too. Other Sols try to help her but as she is determined to do it alone, they leave her alone. She is currently working on her training in secret, aware that she'll probably be denied from the military due to her weakness.
Trivia: (optional): She has a blue eye and green eye, but wears colored contacts making it seem like her eyes are green.
1. Her bloodline is not finished. Being 50% Sol is not enough. What' the other 50?
2. 65 pounds is a very low body mass index and can be harmful to have such a light character. Especially since the horns add a few pounds each.
3. Her attire would not be found in this kind of world. Try something more medieval or fantasy. Greek, Egyptian or tribal attire works as well.
4. Her picture is fine but she needs a photo of what her horns look like. (If she's not a seraphim)
5. There are no cars to buy like modern day. Most are customized and rare from Tearia or Fotia. Try a steampunk esque vehicle that has low mileage.
6. Experience could use more. Like what she has learned or how she has applied it.
7. Be specific with the spells. What she knows exactly rather than "she just knows stuff"
8. Abilities and powers are listed with her bloodline. She may have others that are odd or special to her but do not put spells in this area.
9. History is vague. Doesn't tell me what testing killed the parents. Or what danger refill her village or where she was a royal in what land.
9. Also the rules will require you to make at least 3 paragraphs on average when posting.
So with all this fixed you'll be ready to jump in. Good luck!
