Good Old West

The townfolk were right, the stable wasn't far at all. He could've easily walked. Still, he took his time to arrive and reflect on their situation. They could stay here in Strawberry for some time, maybe. At least until they were stocked up on supplies, they both had mounts and they were stable enough. But they definitely couldn't stay too long in the first town after the mountain pass. If anyone came after them this'd be the first place where they'd look for them. And it wasn't even hard to pick them appart from a crowd.

When he arrived, he hitched Houyi to a fence post and walked around. There were a couple of stable hands working.

"Hey, I'm looking for the owner?, thinkin' about buying a horse for a friend. I've heard some good word about this place." He started, though maybe the man had already heard about him and Oscar in town. From the look he gave him.

"He's inside, we got the best horses 'round here at good prices. But they still have to be fair." Responded the hand. Asa arched an eyebrow, because the other was... Or it seemed like he was, implying he knew he couldn' t pay. So much for pretending he was a decent man.

He thanked the other and walked into the stable. They had a few tenessee walkers and morgans, like everyone did everywhere. Maybe there was a good reason for it, but Asa had never known it.

"Hello, sir. Can I help you?“ Said an older man, just leaving a hay bale on the ground.

" I think so. I'm David Asher, sir. I'm looking to buy a horse... And also for some honest work" He said, shaking the owner's hand.

"Ray Fern, you're new in town aren't you Mr. Asher?. Did you perhaps arrive early this morning?“ He asked, giving him a look.

Asa almost groaned.
" Yes, on a single horse with my friend... Oliver. We was camping out near the mountain spring that feeds the lake northwest from here and got attacked by a cougar. Had to leave as fast as we could. My girl, beautiful apaloosa, she didn't make it." He said, now sighing. Perhaps a sob story would work better.

Mr. Fern listened, giving him a soft look.
" I see, I'm really sorry to hear that Mr. Asher. Lets see if we can find you a horse. But... Well, if you left everything behind... " Ah, here comes the money problem.

"I have a couple hundred dollars saved up, but that money is savings in case of an emergency."Said Asa.

" Like this one?“ Inquired Mr. Fern. Otherwise the newcomer wouldn't have mentioned any money.

"Exactly. So I'll be happy to buy a horse off of ya, if you had some work for my friend and I to get back on our feet afterward. How's that sound?.“ He said, hopeful.

" The work is honest, but its hard on the body. Before we arrange something more permanent I'd have you two around for a week or so. How's that?" Said Mr. Fern.

"Five days, we'll need to pay rent in the meantime." Come on, this was going pretty damn well already!, And this Mr. Fern fellow wasn't even asking much of them.

"Fine, five days Mr. Asher. Then we'll see if things are working out. You'll start tomorrow both of you, and I want you here ready to start at six am sharp."Said Mr. Fern, adopting a more firm tone.

" Yessir!, that's... Thank you." Said Asa, not bothering to hide his excitement. It made his soon-to-be-boss laugh a bit.

"Alright, now lets see what horses I can offer you for two hundred or less" Said Mr. Fern. They both walked further in, where a dark bay andalusian and a white dutch warmblood awaited Asa. Now he had a choice to make.
 
Oscar looked through the shelves of product, picking up a packet of cigarettes like Asa asked for, some medical ointments and tonics, as well as canned supplies for if they hit the road again. If. He found himself strangely reluctant to consider that idea, even though it's been how he'd been living for almost a decade. Maybe the concept of settling down was just that alluring, especially to men like him who'd been on the road for far too long. Either way - Oscar scanned the general store for anything else that he'd like to pick up, before turning to the shopkeeper.

"I heard from the clerk at the hotel that you sold books here, Mr-?"

"Hutcherson. Freddy. I do have a few books here, hold on-" Mr Hutcherson dug through the boxes behind the counter, bringing out a box full of tomes of all sizes, dropping it on the countertop. "They're a little dusty, since hardy anyone ever comes by to buy 'em, heh. But y' can take a look, see if there's anythin' you want." He eyed Oscar with the same sort of curiosity the clerk had looked at him with, but somehow it felt much less grating this time. "Pardon me, it's just - y' don't seem like the type to - you know." He waved a hand.

"Be able to read?" Oscar chuckled, combing through the contents of the box, though there was no bite behind his words. "Nah. My mother - she was Irish. Taught me how to read and write, bless her soul."

"Well, I'd never. That'd teach a man to judge, eh?" Mr Hutcherson laughed. "What's your name, son?"

"Oliver Lee." The fake name rolled off his tongue easily, practiced to the point where it felt like second nature.

"Oliver. Glad t' make your acquaintance. Welcome to Strawberry." Mr Hutcherson leaned over the counter, seemingly excited to have a new person to talk to. "If y' need help, y' can ask me about anything going around town." Oscar couldn't help but return a smile.

"Thank you," he replied, picking out a fairly thick novel - 'The Swiss Family Robinson', it said on the cover. "I'll take this one."

As he counted out the money to pay for the goods, Oscar decided to inquire a little more about possible job openings nearby. "Are there any folk around these parts in need of a helping hand for some time?"

Mr Hutcherson shook his head. "Was thinkin' maybe you'd ask that. Naw, unfortunately - the place's too small for any real 'job openings'. The stables, maybe. Y' could try the post office or the sheriff's place, though." He sniffed. "If you're not put off by... bounty huntin', that is."

Ah. He was hoping it wouldn't have to come to that, but if he was out of options, that certainly wouldn't be off the table. Oscar thanked Mr Hutcherson and packed the supplies away, tucking it into a satchel that he'd brought along. Stepping out of the general store, he set off in the direction of the post office.
 
Asa left the stable well acquainted with Mr. Fern and riding bareback on a sturdy dark bay andalusian. She was a bastard of a mare, already tried to bite him a couple of times before even leaving the stable. He'd named her Red, like the light when reflected on her fur. Like blood, and like roses.

Houyi followed after them with some sweet encouragement. His evening was a bit more boring, though.

They just needed some time, though, he was sure of that. While she didn't try to buck him, he did get off of her back soon after they reached an open plain. And spent the rest of the evening letting her sniff at him, walking beside her and handing her a an apple or some mint when she let him approach her. She also tried to nip at Houyi a couple of times, and he got big mad at least once. But now this wouldn't happen over night by the hotel.
A few hours went by, and he finished braiding her long mane before heading back into town. He had told Oscar they would meet back at the hotel when it got dark.

Riding without a saddle made people give him weird looks. He realised, he was feeding the stereotype that deemed him a savage or something like that. Eh, he didn't care enough if they kept their mouth shut.

After a quick stop at the general store to buy some exotic juice without alcohol, he walked Red and Houyi back to the hotel.
 
By the time he got to the post office, the sky was starting to turn a nice shade of orange as the evening drew close. Strawberry's post office was little more than a hut by the wayside, and as Oscar let himself in he was greeted by a disgruntled clerk who clearly seemed to be eager to close up for the day and return home.

"I was hopin' to find some job postings," Oscar started, but the clerk cut him off.

"And you'll find none here," he said waspishly. "This ain't an advertisement service, mister. Unless you're talking about the bounties - they're all pinned on the board over there." He pointed a finger at one of the walls of the post office, filled with papers advertising bounties of all kinds. Some looked to be several years old, while the others seemed newer and more promising. "Take it up with the Sheriff if you wanna know more, but I reckon he's off for the day by now." He squinted at Oscar. "Hey, aren't you-"

Not this shit again. "Yes, I'm the feller than just arrived in town this mornin' with my partner. What's it to you?" Oscar didn't mean to be this standoffish, but the whole 'new stranger in town' schtick was getting tiring real fast, and he was running out of patience, especially to people who didn't seem to have any manners.

Visibly cowed, the clerk shook his head. "Nothin'," he said. "Nothin' at all."

"Good," Oscar said. "I'll see what I can do about these bounties, perhaps. Good day." He didn't feel like lingering at the post office any longer, not when the clerk seemed to be so eager to leave himself, pushing open the door and leaving without another word. Crossing over the street, he stopped to buy a copy of the day's papers from the newspaper seller. With enough reading material to last him for a while, Oscar started back for the hotel. He'll have to discuss the bounty hunting opportunities with Asa later, seeing as it seemed to be one of the only ways they could earn money in this town. Oscar didn't like the implications of it - he'd been hoping that the escape from the gang would also entail an escape from the life of robbing and hunting down others, but well... if it had to come to that, he wouldn't shy away from it.
 
It still took some time for Asa to show up. He hitched his new companion and Houyi by the hotel's entrance and walked in.

"Hey." He said as a greeting to the clerk. The man looked like he was sort of busy, talking to another guy Asa had never seen before. He looked fancy, though, with a long coat and a top hat. Maybe he was one of the New Yorkers they'd heard so much about.

They both, the clerk and the newcomer greeted him back politely.
"S my partner back yet?" Asked Asa, to the clerk of course.

"Ah, yes. I believe he came back earlier this evening." Said the clerk.

"Oh, you're the men everyone's talking about!“ Said Mr. Fancy Top hat. Asa arched an eyebrow at the comment.

" You make it sound like we's some kind of celebrity, sir. We just rode in early an' tired." He answered, looking towards the staircase, eager to get out of this particular conversation.

"Ah, apologies. That's not what I meant... But welcome to Strawberry anyway, Mr...?“

“Asher, David Asher"

"A pleasure to meet you Mr. Asher. I'm Nicholas Timmins, the mayor of this beautiful little town" He said proudly, beaming.

"The mayor?, huh..." Why was he even there, then? Were they really that much of a concern that the mayor had to come check who they were?. Asa didn't like it one bit.

"Well, if you'll ehh, excuse me sir, I'll be waking up early tomorrow..." Please let me go, thought Asa. He was no good with words and definitely should not talk to any mayors.

"Of course!, rest well Mr. Asher. I'm sure we'll see each other around town if you intend to stay." Said Timmins, to what Asa just nodded and left for the stairs.
He knocked twice on the room's door as a warning before walking in.
 
Oscar had arrived back in the hotel before it had gotten dark outside, setting his satchel aside and settling down onto the chair by the dressing table, opening up the newspaper he'd bought, flipping it from cover to cover, scanning the headlines for any mentions of their old gang. He was not as much interested in current events as trying to keep up with the whereabouts of the gang, be it through sightings reported or the trail of criminal acts that they seemed to leave behind everywhere they went. Today's newspaper, however, seemed to report no disturbance from any outlaw gangs in the local area, and Oscar tossed the newspaper aside once he'd gotten what he needed. It seemed that the gang was lying low for now - good for the rest of the people stuck there, but bad for the two escapees, since there was no telling where the gang was moving. Again uneasiness twisted in his gut, but he reasoned with himself that there was no use for paranoid speculation, instead busying himself with his new book.

That was how Asa found him a few hours later - leaning back on the chair, two legs thrown up on the dressing table, happily engrossed with reading. Oscar looked up as Asa entered, throwing him a smile as he put his book away. "Ah, you're finally back. How did the stable-viewing go? Found a new horse yet?" He gestured at his satchel, carelessly thrown onto the bedside table when he first entered. "I got you the cigarettes you wanted, and some tonics and other supplies, the usual."
 
There was something endearing in arriving to their room and finding Oscar there, reading after doing some shopping. Maybe it was the domesticity of it, seeing how they had had none in their lives. At least Asa hadn't.

"Found myself a mean lady, her name's Red. She's big and has a temper, got right along with Houyi though. And I didn't have enough for a saddle." He started, leaving his jacket on the bed and sitting on it, facing Oscar.

"So I'm riding her bare until we can go check if my old saddle survived out there. Also uhm, this is gonna be sudden..." He said, hoping the other wouldn't mind he had already agreed with the stable owner on doing some work for him.

"... But we have to be at the stable tomorrow morning at six to start working. Five days 'till we get some accommodation there. Maybe we can sleep on some haybales in the meantime?“ He said with a nervous smile. Then he remembered.

" Oh! Thank you for the shirt by the way. I' ll... Here, wait" He stood up and started unbuttoning it to give it back to Oscar. Ge could wash his own now or something.
 
"Tomorrow?" That was quick. Oscar had just been worrying about finding a way to earn money, but seeing as Asa already secured them positions at the stable... granted, it was to pay for the new horse, but they might yet be able to earn some money by the end of this. Maybe he wouldn't have to bring up bounty hunting with Asa, after all. Oscar decided to put that off to a later date, if they really needed the money. "Sure, I'll follow you there. We'd better sleep soon later, though. Don't want to be late tomorrow."

As Asa unbuttoned the shirt he'd borrowed, Oscar tried not to let his gaze wander. It wasn't anything he hadn't seen before, really - but it just felt awkwardly intimate in this situation. Perhaps it was the effect of being trapped in a hotel room together. Disguising his embarassment with a cough, Oscar averted his eyes as he took the shirt from Asa and folded it away. It was strange, knowing that Asa had worn this particular shirt for an entire afternoon. He decided not to examine those thoughts any further, as he always did when they popped up - he didn't want to know.

"So, you're just going to go without a shirt for now, huh?" He teased lightly, trying to ignore the strange tension knotting in his chest. "If I didn't know better, I'll call you a show-off." He threw the folded shirt on top of the counter, thinking of a way to change the conversation. "Anyway, I went around town a little today. Didn't know word travelled this fast - looks like everyone here already knows about us." He frowned a little at the memory of the post office clerk. "Ain't all kindly about it neither."
 
Asa gave Oscar a weird look for a second, getting the impression that the other had been staring at his chest for a moment. But that couldn't be. Maybe he just had weird nipples and he didn't know.
He chuckled, that was funny.

Oscar kept talking, and Asa laughed at his comments. Sure
"Maybe. I do have to wash mine though. So i'll go perpetuate the idea that... Unless they do laundry here. Do you think they do that?" He asked, it wouldn't be strange in a hotel. And he was already at least acquaintanced with the woman who helped around.

He listened to Oscar mention how everyone knew about them already and nodded.
" Yeah, no kidding. The stable people knew 'bout us. Told them the cougar story. The fucking Mayor was, is down there talking to the clerk about us probably. I don' t like it one bit personally. Might've to deliver some punches in a back alley eventually if they try anything weird" He said, nodding.
 
“Laundry? Maybe. You could ask one of the girls working here if they’d be willing to do it for some money, probably.” Oscar had never stayed in a hotel before, didn’t know what sort of services they offered here, but it was well worth a try.

Oscar frowned as he listened to Asa talk about the stable people and the Mayor. Word really did travel fast in small towns like this - it seemed like the whole town already knew of their arrival, and it hasn’t even been a whole day. He sighed - running in a gang that skirted only the fringes of civilization had almost made him forget how it felt like to be gawked at like some sort of attraction everywhere he went. He was starting to find that he didn’t appreciate the attention, not one bit.

“That’s... not good.” He concurred, after a brief silence. “Best we keep a low profile for now, though. Everyone will be expecting the newcomers to slip up, and we can’t afford to be starting trouble so soon after we left the gang. Hopefully they’ll get bored of us and move on to more interesting things.” He snorted at that thought. “Or as interesting as things get around here, at least.”

“Anyway,” he said, “tell me about our new boss. What’s he like?”
 
"He seemed nice enough, really." Said Asa with a shrug. He had listened to the cougar story and been sympathetic, agreed to give them a job, too.

"I think as long as we work hard, he'll ne fine with us. Ah didn't get any weird feelings from him. So I reckon he's alright." He said with a shrug, taking his shirt from where he'd left it and looking it over. It was still dirty, of course.

"We can probably ask one of the stable hands to come with us to camp so we can get my saddle back, and the rest of our stuff. They seemed nice, I didn't talk to many of 'em though." Hee said, since they really had to check on those things. Otherwise they'd be lost for real, and Asa didn't want to have to buy another saddle.

"I' ll go see if they can wash my shirt, be right back" He said, patting Oscar on the shoulder before leaving the room. Shirtless but with a shirt in hand.
 
"Well, that's good to hear." Oscar figured as much - any person Asa agreed to work for wouldn't be a bad person, at least not towards them. Asa wasn't someone who minced his words or hid his disdain for people he had no respect for, and if that were the case for the stable owner Asa probably would've ridden back with a stolen horse. Oscar smiled a little at that thought - he'd hate to have to go back on the run, especially since they'd just gotten here, but it was fun to think about.

"That's true. Reckon we can ask one of them to follow us after work to check it out." It hadn't rained since they got to Strawberry, but Oscar didn't want to take the chances of a sudden downpour ruining whatever items they left behind at the campsite. Besides, the longer they left their supplies to sit out weathering the elements, the more chance there was of it getting damaged or otherwise taken by some other wayward traveller. The issue had been nagging at the back of his mind for the past day now, and Oscar wanted it resolved as soon as possible.

"See you in a bit," he called as Asa went to find the women working at the hotel, left alone in the hotel room once more. Grabbing the hair tie he'd left on the counter, he decided to braid his hair up for bed later, which had been hanging loosely over his shoulders since the afternoon.
 
The main girl working there, her name was Anne, and she was lovely. Thought Asa, after talking to her for a bit. She had no problem doing some laundry for them while they stayed there, and she'd also do them the favour of giving them a call at 5:30 in the morning so they wouldn't be late for work. He paid her the 50 cents she'd asked for to do the laundry, and tipped her a couple of dollars for being so nice. His money was running short, but they'd soon be working anyway.

Asa returned after a bit, with no shirt on or in his hands.
"She said no problem, really nice girl, that one" He said, smiling, taking off his hairtie now that they were in their room. Oscar seemed to have the opposite idea, pity, his hair was nice when down.

He sat on the bed, grabbing his satchel.

"I thought we could celebrate. With moderation 'cause we have to work tomorrow and all. And I know ya don' t drink. Don't get why though, but I got some juice for you?. Dunno if you'll like it but here." He said, pulling out some whiskey and the bottle of juice he got earlier in the general store.
 
"Oh, thank you - and I don't handle liquor well, remember?" said Oscar, taking the bottle of juice from Asa and inspecting it. "Don't you start with me about that, I said it before a million times, and I ain't saying that to be modest. The gang's given me enough shit about that as it is."

Back when they stopped over in small town saloons or brought alcohol to their campsites to celebrate some event, Oscar would always end up getting teased for abstaining from any sort of drinking. It wasn't out of some sort of misplaced attempt to "preserve his manly pride", like Rob had insinuated once, but because Oscar hated the feeling of waking up from a bender the night before, a black hole in place of his memories and anxiety clawing at his chest as to what he did during that period where he relinquished his self control.

Now, though, he was in a relatively safe environment with Asa, whom he trusted to keep himself in check if he did end up blacking out. He unscrewed the bottle of juice and sniffed at it. It was a fruity scent that he couldn't place, but otherwise there didn't seem to be anything strange with it. "Since we're alone here, though - I probably won't mind just a shot."

Oscar took a drink from the bottle of juice - it tasted exactly like it smelled, a rich, fruity something that he couldn't tell what was in it, but found enjoyable regardless. He held out the bottle to Asa, who was pouring out some whiskey for himself. "Want some?"
 
"Aw come on I wasn't gonna tease you, Oscar. Y'know me better than that." Said Asa, only half joking when the other suggested he was - starting with it -. He respected his friend enough to leave his drinking preferences asside. It did surprise him when he agreed to having a shot, something warm stirring in his chest. He'd never really seen Oscar drink even when people were assholes about it. But he'd do it here with him, maybe.

"Sure, and dont worry it don't have any alcohol. Also uhh, really don't feel like you Have to drink or somethin'" Said Asa, grabbing the juice bottle and taking an experimental sip.

"Mmm!" He licked his lips. "S' a bit weird but I love the taste" He said, drinking a whiskey shot from the bottle's cap right after. It wasn't like he had a glass.

"You sure you want one?" He asked then, offering Oscar the bottle and an excited smile.
 
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"Oh, don't worry. You ain't forcing me to do something I don't want to." Oscar laughed. If being hustled by the gang all those years hadn't made him cave yet, Asa certainly wasn't pressuring him to do something he wasn't intending to do in the first place.

"Don't mind if I do," he said as he was offered the whiskey bottle by a beaming Asa, not being able to help the smile creeping on his face because of Asa's infectious energy. Putting the bottle cap to his lips, he cautiously took a sip, mentally gauging the amount of alcohol that he downed. It felt weird, drinking for the first time in years, the silky burn of the whiskey slipping down his throat an unfamiliar one. The heat blossomed on his tongue and in the back of his throat as he swallowed, his chest warming. It felt like warm liquid gold pooling in the pit of his stomach.

"It's not bad," he remarked, pondering on the aftertaste as he handed the bottle back to Asa. "Just - not used to it, I guess." He smacked his lips, taking a sip of the juice to wash down the taste of the whiskey. "Won't mind having a little more, to be honest, but since we're working tomorrow... well." He slunk down in his chair, nursing the juice bottle. "Don't wanna show up with a hangover, is all. Would hate to make a bad first impression with our employer," he gave a rueful smile to Asa.
 
"Nahhh we'll be fine. Won't even get like real drunk, leave that for another day" Said Asa, taking another sip of whiskey. It burned as it went down his throat, but it was a good burn.

"We had dinner earlier, too, so nothing to worry about. Oh and I mentioned our usual - names-. You know what I mean" He said, thenlaughing a bit all of a sudden.

"Sorry, just thinking about this one time Rob, Fraser and I were out in town... And we got drunk. I hardly remember shit but I swear I woke up like ten miles away from where I started drinking. In some... Random barn. A man came to feed his cows and I was just there, scared the shit out of him. God did my head hurt, but I ran anyway, had to steal some pony to get back." Asa had closed the whiskey bottle and was half laying on the bed, laughing his ass off.
 
Oscar raised an eyebrow at Asa's statement, taking another sip of the juice himself. "Sure," he said, quietly amused as Asa continued to drink from the bottle. It reminded him of when the others in camp would swear up and down to not get drunk, and then proceeded to do so anyway, much to the chagrin of Morrissey. Good times.

It seemed like Asa was in the mood to reminisce as well, as he launched animatedly into the story starring him, Rob and Fraser. It was a story Oscar had heard before, had witnessed the aftermath of himself, as Rob and Fraser arrived back in camp half-hanging over their horses, and Asa returning back to camp in the early morning on the back of a strange horse looking like death warmed over. "I remember," he said. "Morrissey was furious, my goodness. Fran was worried to death about y'all, and then y'all showed up drunk as all hell..." the giggling burst out of his throat abruptly, his mirth catching even himself by surprise. "We had to drag Rob and Fraser back to their own bedrolls, they'd passed out on top of their horses. You should've seen Devon's face as they rode in..."

As his fit of laughter finally subsided, an abrupt and intense sense of melancholy fell over him. Perhaps it was the influence of the alcohol that was amplifying his feelings - another reason for why he disliked drinking, but right now Oscar was too deep in the territory of his memories to shake it off. It suddenly dawned upon him how terribly he missed the others, and would continue to miss them, especially given that they had little chance to encounter each other again. Remembering all the good times they had together only served to emphasise the heartbreak of their departure.

"Man." Oscar set the bottle of juice aside, suddenly glum. "I wonder how the others are doing right now."
 
"Oh I remember Devon's face alright, and his voice!. And Morrisey's too. Damn were they mad..." Continued Asa, ready to go into another humorous story about what him and Fraser got up to that one time years ago.

But his smile fell off his face, since Oscar decided to absolutely murder the mood with that one question.

" Shit, Oscar..." He said with a loud sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose for a second.

"I... We can't fucking know!. Rook is a bastard and so are his men. We know damn well what Morrisey is doing, nothing. I don't... God I don't wanna think about it. What good is it gonna do?, thinking about it??, we can't go back now. I-I... Miss them, sure. But they all probably hate us anyway, because we left them behind with those... Ugly sons of bitches. Or maybe not, maybe everything is fine and good and rainbows!, damn it!" He wasn't screaming, but he was glaring at Oscar, only half mad and not even at him.

" It can't matter, it doesn't matter now... We can only hope they are okay. I guess?, fuck..." Asa groaned, putting his face in his hands. Maybe he'd already drunk too much.

He didn't want to consider. He didn't, really. How good or bad things could have gone after they left. Rook was mad enough to have killed them all if things got too bad and he got too twitchy. They could have ran away, maybe Fraser and Rob were fine, and Pauline went with them and they were all happy somewhere else. Maybe they were laying dead on the ground, unburied and rotting. Maybe they were six feet underground like Morrissey.

" Sorry..." He said, knowing damn well this wasn't Oscars fault. "I honestly feel like shit for leaving like we did. But we can't..." Go back, went unsaid. Asa looked at Oscar, not hiding his face anymore.
 
Damn it. Goddamn it. Damn it all. It was supposed to be a fun evening to celebrate their successful escape, and he'd successfully ruined the mood just by opening his mouth again. Not again. Oscar bit his lip, letting Asa's anger run its course. Somehow, despite all his efforts, he always managed to say the worst things at the worst times. In that moment, he resented himself, resented how he slipped up again, resented how his careless words failed him once more. They were supposed to have each other's backs, and Oscar couldn't help but feel as though he betrayed some sort of trust between them.

Red-hot shame pulsated through him, catching him in a vice-like grip, a suffocating haze that made him lightheaded. Swallowing deeply, Oscar pushed back against the threat of it consuming him, trying to clear his head so he could think. Now wasn't the time for self-pity, not when he'd been the one who started all this mess - it was his responsibility to clean up the aftermath. Asa was looking at him with a haunted look in his eye - the anger from his outburst previously was absent, replaced by a faraway glaze, and Oscar could tell he was spiralling into a spiel of overthinking.

"I know," he forced himself to say. "I'm sorry for bringing them up." He placed a hand on Asa's shoulder, and in a moment of impulse drew him into a hug, folding his arms around the other man. He felt Asa startle against him, but he wasn't pushed off or anything, and after a tentative moment both of them relaxed into the hug. They remained in that position in a moment of silence, nothing but their quiet breathing to comfort each other.

"I'm sorry," Oscar said again after the moment passed. "I shouldn't have said that. You're right - we can't think about the what-ifs, else we'll just drive ourselves insane. It's just... it's hard," he admitted, "not to imagine things, but it's what we have to do, and we gotta make our peace with that. Let's just forget this happened and go to bed, alright? We gotta wake up early tomorrow."
 
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