How Green Becomes Wood

"I'm sure as I make it into my third trimester he'll get a lot more intense and worried. Everything makes him worry, but then again..." She traced her finger along the rim of her glass, "He's been waiting fourteen years, too. I think we both wish, a little bit, that we'll just jump right to when she's here and healthy... I want to hold her so badly, Dark says he's dying to learn her eye colour, and neither of us want anything to happen that will stop us from having those moments with her. So he's anxious about her, and he's anxious about me, and I keep saying, you know, if you're that squirrely, we could actually... get a crib, but he also gets really shy around that. Like he wants to have her so desperate but he panics whenever we talk about literally the most important part of her nursery. I suppose it makes it too real, somehow. Everything else he engages with."
 
Sally started to say something, stopped, and changed her mind. "I suppose we all have those hang-ups and fears," she said. "I would say the people who actually manage to get everything ready from start to finish within a few months are the rare ones. Some people need more time to acclimate to the idea, even if they are really excited and looking forward to it. Then again, no matter how prepared you think you are, you never really are ready. It is literally impossible. Do you know that it wasn't until I brought Peter home from the hospital that I realized I'd never gotten any kind of drool cloths? Or burp cloths or whatever you want to call them. It's such a little thing, looking back, so easy to overlook, but I feel like I'd already failed as a mother, and we hadn't even spent a full twenty-four hours together. We are truly our own worst critics. Jack, on the other hand, laughed hysterically for a good three minutes and then went out to buy some while I made do with the nearest baby blanket. Neither of us had the wits to realize we could just use paper towels or bathroom towels or literally anything soft. We had the idea that we absolutely had to have the exact item named for its use." She pointed to Daizi. "Beware of making decisions while exhausted! Always have someone you can call to run things by."
 
Daizi listened to Sally, nodding her head, "I don't know how new parents manage to put everything together. That's why I'm glad Dark is so level-headed, even if he does get shy around the crib... He sits there making lists and trying to get things done. He's stressed and anxious about getting it wrong or missing something, but he's so much more... I don't know. He's better at planning, he's been putting up the wallpaper with Cooger... Oh, but I'm anxious too," she laughed lightly, "I don't want to forget something major, something bigger than drool cloths, and have everyone think that I can't..." Her mouth flicked into a smile, "but we've got the twins, and there's a lot they won't help with, they've already sworn it off, but they'll be getting more sleep than we will..." Then, much more softly, "and I know I can call you. When you're not busy."

Daizi shifted again, and moved her hands, "She knows we're talking about her. The girl isn't even born yet but already so full of personality. I'm just glad we have until November to try to get everything ready. End of November."
 
Sally laid her hand gently on Daizi's. "Of course you can," she assured her gently. "You are going to e a good mother. It's just going to be a bit different. I wouldn't even argue that it'll be harder, just different. You will be fine. It won't always feel like you'll be fine, but you will be." She squeezed Daizi's hand and sat back. "I will always answer your call, darling, if it is even slightly within my power to do so! And if you need me to take you out of the house for a bit of adult time, I can do that, or I can come look after the little one while you get some sleep. Whatever you need, all you need to do is ask. She sounds like she's going to keep all hands on deck at all times!"
 
Daizi smiled slightly, and took a deep breath, "Thank you. I know that I can do it. So many of my blind friends have, and Dark and I are in parenting classes specifically designed for parents like us. And I'm really excited that I'll actually get to. I do think other people will judge my mistakes much more harshly than they'd judge another mother's, and I've never really been one to care what other people think, but I've already had to deal with CPS once. I'd much rather they not be sent to me again just because people think someone like me can't do it."

She furrowed her brow for a few moments but then a warm smile unclouded her features, "Of course she's going to be a handful. She's my daughter and his, and we've never stooped so low as to make anytime easy on anyone. Even if it means she already keeps me up all night."
 
"Of course, children are also very much unique individuals," Sally said slyly. "What if she comes out being the most relaxed, quiet, laidback child to have ever graced the planet?"

A pair of people slowly approached the table, pausing now and then but clearly headed their way. "We have people coming to tell us hello," Sally told Daizi. "You look well, but may want to take a quick dab of the napkin."
 
"Well..." Daizi replied, thinking for a few moments, feeling the gentle thuds against her palm, "then I suppose Dark and I count ourselves lucky and try not to question it too deeply."

Then, on Sally's advice, she found her napkin and tried to clean up her face and top of her dress, hoping she got wherever or whatever it was that Sally spotted. It was always a bit embarrassing when she had food stuck somewhere, she didn't like looking messy any more than anyone else did, but it wasn't always something she could find, "Is that better?" She asked softly, and then after waiting for Sally's response, turned outwards with a smile, in preparation for meeting whoever it was who had an interest in speaking with them.
 
"Perfect!" Sally assured her. She opened her own compact mirror and took a brief glance, pretending to be straightening a hair. Then she closed it and put it away just in time to greet the couple that approached them. The couple didn't stay long, just passing on their congratulations to Sally for completing her project and exchanging a few thoughts about the next project. They greeted Daizi, as well, and made the usual polite murmurs before moving on.

Sally was just about to suggest making a dessert run when another couple came by. This pair was much like the first and took even less time before moving on. Finally, Sally was able to suggest getting dessert before anyone else could stop by. She could already see the eyes glancing their way and trying to calculate the most efficient path through the room while greeting everyone possible.

"Oh, there's someone you might like to speak to," Sally commented to Daizi while trying to decide how many little petite fours she could take and not look like a slob.
 
Daizi sat nice and smiled politely with all the training she had been through over the years, and then after each couple exhaled, wondering how we ever allowed such stiff and boring conversation become the normal way to behave. Her dress fit her perfectly but it felt too tight with how rigid everything seemed. It was a blessing when they could finally sneak off to the dessert table, where she could indulge as was her right as a pregnant woman. Although, what felt like indulging to her was still, at least on that night, a modest and socially acceptable amount that nobody would begrudge.

"Who are they?" Daizi asked, turning as if she could ever hope to see them, but turning in completely the wrong direction.
 
Sally smoothly directed Daizi back around in the correct direction. "One of the men from the board of directors at your very own museum and his wife. If my calculations are correct, and they usually are in these situations, they are timing their approach to meet us at our table when we arrive. Most likely they will ask to join us, and societal convention says we must not refuse them." She sighed softly. "Oh well. I cannot fit anything more on my plate anyway. These things are the size of a pound. Maybe even a 50 pence piece."
 
"Oh." Daizi said, standing up straighter and fixing the hemline of her dress. She knew it was possible to run into somebody she knew, but she didn't expect... One of the board of directors. After a deep breath, she said, "Okay, well. Right. Good, then. That means you aren't the only one working, right?"

She hadn't met with any of the board in months, not since their last gala, and even then it was almost always in passing, and her boss tended to be right there to deflect most of the conversation, and now she didn't have that shield. Another deep breath, and she took Sally's arm to head back to their table, awaiting who was, besides Sally, the most important person Daizi felt she was likely to meet that night.
 
"Daizi, dear, you look fabulous, and you carry yourself like a member of the royal family," Sally murmured to her as they walked. "But if you need an out, just tap your chin three times." She looked ahead, her expression smoothing into one of professional greeting as they reached their table. "Good evening, Henry, Millie, how are you this evening?"

"Doing well, quite well," Henry humphed with a sharp nod. "Lovely to see you, Dr. Hollis. And Dr. Wahid. I did not expect to see you tonight."

"So many doctors, you couldn't swing a cat without hitting one," Millie chuckled, barely hiding her boredom behind a smile.
 
"Well there's a coincidence, sir," Daizi said breezily, looking much more at ease than she felt. If she had expected to meet him, then it'd be one thing, and she would have had time to prepare, but she hadn't, and now she had the unique and stressful pleasure of feeling like she was the sole representative of her entire department. But to look at her, when Henry and his wife approached, one would think it didn't phase her at all, "I hadn't expected to run into you either. I hope you are not planning to jump ship to calmer seas?" To Millie, she let out a calculated sigh and said, "Oh, I know. You'd think this were a convention on student loan forgiveness."
 
Millie gave her a puzzled smile, not really seeming to get her joke, but made the appropriate noises to say she approved.

Henry chuckled warmly. "Well said! I was wondering if we might join you, Daizi? I never get to speak with people who are on the floor, so to speak, about their view of things. I'm always just running hither and thither on a thousand boards and groups, and I wanted to get the opinion of someone currently active in the field about this new bond they are proposing about the museum. You can speak quite frankly, of course, no need to censor yourself. In fact, I'd appreciate it if you didn't."

Millie looked even more bored at his announcement, and Sally caught her attention, drawing her into a discussion about the latest fashion in women's hats. They were slowly coming back into style, and it was a nice, neutral tpic to discuss.
 
"You're welcome to," Daizi said, gesturing to the seats she knew to be empty, "although I'm not sure if I'm the best person to ask about those things. I really just want to do my research, and as long as that isn't hindered I'm happy... But, since you asked," She then proceeded to sit back in her chair, looking very at ease, although inside she was still heavily policing herself, and let him know her very complicated and thorough opinions on the subject. As requested, she allowed herself to be candid, but she still did her best to remain respectful and professional.

At the end of it, though, she laughed and said, "But really, to be honest, in only a few months I'm going on leave, and I'm trying to swing it so that my leave can be extended or that I can pivot to only remote work for a little while, so since I've been a bit preoccupied there, I've not paid it all as much focus as I otherwise might've done."
 
Henry listened closely, occasionally asking a question for clarification, but mostly just listening as Daizi spoke. "I think you have an excellent perspective on these matters, and I am quite happy you were willing to discuss them with me," he said, sounding truly satisfied. He sat back and nodded. "Ah, yes! You are approaching a special time, aren't you? I am quite pleased you want to take the time to get to know your little one. It seems too many these days fight to get back to work as soon as they possibly can, as if to impress someone or something, I am not sure why. I do wish that in my day, fathers were given more time to be with their children." He gave a sad sigh but smiled at her. "If working remote is something you think you can do with minimal distractions, I would encourage it!"
 
"My foster kids always accuse me of lecturing too much," Daizi admitted, somewhat playfully, "so I suppose I have the proclivity to speak at length on a subject. But, no, I," she chuckled, "I'm an anthropologist, sir. I've spent enough time looking at other groups of people to learn the importance of bonding. And I've got a lovely home office, so I've really have a lot of faith in my ability to work from there. I don't want her to spend all her crucial developmental years in someone else's care..."

Daizi smiled, and then leaned slightly closer to Henry, speaking to him in her more natural, warm and welcoming manner, "I understand, you know, about wishing fathers had more opportunities. My husband, I believe you must have met him, the giant? Well, he's managed to negotiate for twelve weeks leave, which is much more than many fathers can pull, but he is still cut up that he couldn't get more. He doesn't want to miss anything either, and I think it's really heartbreaking men still have to fight so hard just to spend time with their children when they're young."
 
Henry's brows bounced. "Twelve weeks? That's a lot of time! Especially for a school teacher!" he said in shock. "That's longer than most maternity leaves. Don't get me wrong, I still stand by my desire for men to be allowed to have more time with their children, but I would be going completely stir-crazy if I was exclusively home for three months. Then again, there will likely be a lot for him to do if you are both first-time parents. Of newborns, that is. You'll have a lot to learn, and it's nice to learn together."
 
"Well, he never takes time off, so he has a lot of accumulated sick and vacation days that he's using up all at once," Daizi replied, visibly surprised and impressed that Henry remembered what her husband did for a living, "plus, somebody made a large donation to the school under the condition that he be given a bonus, so I think they felt obligated to work with him or risk losing him. Money talks, and apparently money says his work is appreciated..." She shrugged her shoulders casually and took a sip of her glass, "and I think he'll handle being at home much better than I will. He's already used to taking summers and winters off, and he likes housework. I think he'd probably lose his mind more if he had to go back to work right away."
 
"Hmm, I can see how that might work out well for you, then," Henry chuckled. "So! Until you leave your position in lesser but likely capable hands, what are you working on currently?" He chatted amiably with Daizi, seeming actually interested in her work and what she was doing, but not prying too hard. He wasn't as knowledgable as some of her coworkers, perhaps, but he could hold a better conversation and seemed to understand a good deal more than someone like the twins.

Finally, he stretched and said, "You are a fascinating conversationalist, Daizi, and I do hope we meet again at an event for the museum. Until then, there are a couple of people who will think me offended if they do not talk to me, and then we should take our old bones home."

"Oh, dear, it is starting to get rather late, isn't it?" Millie murmured. "At least, late for anyone over the age of thirty." She chuckled and offered Sally her hand. "Sally, we really must spend a bit more time together. I'd love to show you that store I mentioned!"

"Indeed!" Sally agreed with a polite smile. "Lovely to talk with you."
 
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