How Green Becomes Wood

"Sure, we can play," Daizi replied, "it would be fun, all of us. It could be something we do together each week," she took a deep, shaking breath, "although, if I DM, which is the person who runs the game, you'll all get very acquainted with how I see the world, so I--I'll probably have to put some work into describing visual stuff, so you aren't completely lost."

"You know what would be in the room, so I am sure you would find away to make it work," Dark replied, carefully disentangling himself so he could return the paperwork to the front desk, "You have always been clever."

With him gone, Daizi felt a little lost and without thinking, she reached over towards the twins so she still had someone to hold onto, "the good thing about this game," she said. She had her hand on one of their shoulders, but didn't know which one, "is everybody works together, so, you probably won't feel compelled to cheat. Regardless of if there was Candyland cheating or not."
 
Luckily, Alec was sitting closer, not Xander, as while Xander would have later regretted it, he was currently so keyed up he would have reacted badly to the sudden touch. Alec accepted it with only the slightest of flinches from surprise, then scooted closer so she could have an easier reach.

"I think that sounds like a lot of fun, especially with learning how you see the world," he said softly. "We'd need a lot of guidance, I think, at first, but it sounds worth it. And that's good about cheating. Or not cheating."

"I didn't cheat," Xander huffed. "I accidentally picked up two cards and put one of them back."

"Only after looking to see which was more beneficial to you," Alec pointed out.

"Why not? I wasn't like I could 'unsee' them, and we'd been playing for two hours. I was just ready for the game to be over."
 
"I think what you are supposed to do in that situation," she said, moving closer to Alec, "is put both cards back and draw a third. But I understand how you feel about wanting the game to be over, a few times before I've made the mistake of playing Monopoly with Dark, and he takes it way too seriously and the games last for hours, and he always inevitably wins. I always try to cheat in Monopoly."

"And I always catch you, because you are not slick," Dark replied, coming back to them and sitting down.

"I'd be slick if I wanted to be, but Monopoly sucks and if I cheat then we get to stop and do something else," Daizi replied, seeming a bit more confident, "if you want me not to cheat, you need to stop rewarding my good behavior."

She released Alec's shoulder and folded herself back against Dark, mumbling under her breath a joke about him being her 'emotional support husband,' and he held her securely. He then said, "They said they can see you soon, we are fortunate, it is a Monday night so it is mostly empty in here. So we will be home so quickly."
 
"Good thing it's not a full moon," Alec said, looking around. "Full moons always make things crazy."

"Be more interesting to observe than this," Xander said, nodding his head toward an old man snoring away in another chair and a laid at the front desk angrily demanding to know why she couldn't use the ER to fill her non-urgent prescription when she only had one blister pack left. In the other corner sat a young couple with the girl tapping away boredly on her phone and her clearly stoned friend watched in wide-eyed awe.
 
"I still don't like it," Daizi replied, her voice catching in her throat. She just wanted to go home.

Eventually her name was called, and she was brought (with Dark, and presumably the twins, following, because he swore not to leave her alone, and he wasn't going to leave to teenagers alone in a waiting room) to go through all the standard tests ER patients go through at the triage station. When her blood was drawn, Dark had the twins turn away, because he didn't know how they'd react to seeing it, and it didn't seem like the right time to learn if they got queasy watching medical procedures. And, like he promised, anytime a doctor or nurse tried to address him, rather than Daizi, who was the actual patient, he corrected them. Not too long after, they had her in a bed, in a gown, in a quieter space, hooked up to an IV to get her fluids up. There were a few chairs in the room, but Dark chose to instead sit on the side of the bed.

"So, fainting during this stage in pregnancy isn't actually that uncommon," The doctor had been explaining, "because you need more blood in your body to support baby and the placenta, and if your blood volume hasn't increased enough yet, we can have issues there, so I don't think there's anything to worry about. But I still think we should take a look at baby and see what they're up to."
 
Xander sat in one of the chairs with his feet up on another. He and Alec had stuck close, but not two close, with Alec covering his eyes half the time. Xander looked up at the doctor from his position and remarked, "People often faint when they can't eat enough to sustain a butterfly, too. You got a magic pill to fix that? Or should she just puff a joint to get the nibbles?"

Alec shifted nervously in the last chair but didn't say anything. Saying anything brought attention to you, and he wanted no attention right now. Besides, it should be all about Daizi.
 
"Oh," the doctor turned back to Daizi while readying the ultrasound machine, "have you not been eating?"

"I've been trying to, it just hasn't... gone well," She replied, "But that's normal, morning sickness is normal."

The doctor draped a modesty sheet over the lower half of Daizi's body and told her to roll up her gown so they could access her belly for the ultrasound scan, "It can be, but if you can't keep any food down, that is not normal. How long has it been this bad?"

"Only about three days..." Daizi replied, flinching when the doctor applied the ultrasound gel to her belly without warning her first.

"I can prescribe you an anti-nausea medication, not marijuana, unfortunately," They directed this comment to Xander, and then speaking to Daizi again said, "but that should help. If not, your OB-GYN can prescribe you something stronger. But it's certainly sweet that your son is worried about you and their new baby sibling." After saying this, the Doctor paused and looked more closely at the family, trying to figure out what the relation between the family was, but didn't ask any questions. Both Dark and Daizi froze, and Dark glanced over to the twins. They didn't want to correct the doctor and say nope, they aren't ours, mostly because, well, they did sort of think of Alec and Xander as their sons, but at the same time, they didn't want to not correct them and have the twins panic, especially since being the children of Dark and Daizi did, in fact, make the baby their sibling.

But before anything could be said, the doctor was running the wand over Daizi's belly, and pointing to the screen said, "And there's baby. They're doing just fine. They're doing well, I think." The image on the screen looked very similar to the still photograph Xander had screen earlier, except now there was movement. The fetus would jerk their arms or turn, while their quick heartbeat filled the room, "Their heartbeat is very strong, so I don't think they've been bothered much by it all. And they're certainly very active, even this early, you'll definitely have your hands full with this one."
 
"Seems to have been a lot longer than three days," Xander grumbled, pushing at the chair he was currently using as a footstool. Then again, since the majority of the time he saw Daizi was around meals, when the sensitivity was at its worse, it was a fair misconception of time.

Alec bit his lip when he saw Daizi jump from the shock of the touch and leaned forward as if he wanted to touch her. He didn't and couldn't since he was nearly across the room from her, but he wanted to.

Neither he nor Alec corrected the doctor. They didn't necessarily accept Dark and Daizi as "parents," per se, but they were their "parental figures," and seeing them together, it was a fair assumption to make. Even if Dark looked like a brooding middle eastern prince, Daizi like a dark priestess, Xander like an Irish mafia man, and Alec like some sort of children's event performer.
 
"I've had morning sickness for a lot longer, but it's only been three days that it's gotten very bad," Daizi explained, but was then too distracted by the sound of her baby's heartbeat to say anything else. There was no way for her to see what was on the screen like Dark and the twins, if they dared to look, could, so that sound was the only thing she had to know her baby by, at least until the baby grew strong enough that she could feel the movements.

Dark was distracted by the screen. He watched intently as his baby wiggled around with the same strange look on his face that he had earlier when looking at the sonogram image. But because they it was determined that nothing was wrong, the scan ended quickly, Daizi was handed a towel to clean herself up with, and the doctor basically just said they wanted the her to stick around until the IV was emptied, then they would release her.

Then it was the four (or five, depending on how they were counted) alone in the room again.

"I am very glad you are okay," Dark murmured, stroking her hair, "and I told you, it would not be like last time."

"I feel over dramatic coming here just to be told, 'yeah, that's normal.'" Daizi replied, pulling the blanket around herself.
 
Xander glanced briefly at the monitor, feeling vaguely uncomfortable at the sounds coming from the speakers, but he tried not to show it. Alec didn't look at all, instead watching Daizi and Dark.

"He just said the last three days weren't normal," Xander grumbled a reminder. "You're going to be on anti-sick stuff. About time, too. You need to eat. You're resembling a spider skeleton."

"Spiders don't have skeletons," Alec mumbled, the first thing he'd said since entering the room.
 
"My normal doctor said morning sickness is supposed to peak around now and then get better, forgive me for trying to trust her." Daizi replied, but grabbed her wrist with her opposite hand. It didn't feel so different than it had. Anyway, now she had gotten treatment and her baby was unaffected. Her baby who had a very strong heartbeat. She really wanted to just brush it all of and say everything was okay, and there was no need to keep talking about it, and just go home to get some sleep, but--she sighed deeply, "Look, I... I appreciate that you are worried about me, and I'm really sorry to have frightened you. I need to be more aware of your past experiences. This is all just difficult to navigate, and nobody has written a guidebook for it. I'm trying to do the best that I can," She didn't cry, this time, and she felt stupid lying there in a hospital bed talking to them, "I hate that I've just been continuously letting you both down, I hate that I keep failing you, but, I just--I have no idea how the hell to do this."
 
Xander frowned, looking at her in genuine confusion. "What are you talking about?" he asked. "You haven't let us down. It's not like you forgot you brought us with you to the mall or didn't show up to a sports game or whatever. You had your own crap you were dealing with, and it sucks, and I get that it's hard even if I don't get it get it. But you gotta just take this and do better." He shrugged awkwardly. "Or whatever. You know? It's not just you, and I don't mean us or the professor, I mean you that that tiny thing. Once the tiny thing is out, the professor can take care of it while you avoid hospitals or whatever you need to do."

"He means we're fine and you shouldn't worry about us," Alec said quietly. "Maybe tell us what's going on sometimes or if you need something from us, but you being sick isn't a personal affront to us. It would be really weird if it was."

"And I yell when I get scared," Xander finished with another trademark shrug. "Doesn't mean I hate you for life."
 
Daizi blinked and turned her head away, "Thank you. I just don't want to burden you, ever, I don't want to make you feel like you owe me anything, or that you need to take care of me. I just want to be able to take care of you, and provide for you, and make you feel secure, but now we're in this room, in this awful place, because I couldn't..." She waved her hand and then dropped it to her side, "and I'm going to worry about you, that's inevitable. I'm rarely not worrying about you," Even though Xander had just said he didn't hate her, inside she still couldn't help but feel they would like her more if she wasn't pregnant, and even if neither twin hated her because of it, she nonetheless believed, inaccurately, that to some subtle extent, they disliked her for it, "and I really do feel awful that I scared you, Xander, I am so sorry." This last bit she said more quietly than the rest.

Dark sat quietly in the room, not feeling like it was really his place to interject. He did, however, take a moment to say, "I think it is important for all of us to remember this is not it, this is not where we will be stuck for the next six months. In two weeks," he no longer followed up his statements with if we make it that far, "it will be the second trimester, and that is typically when everything balances out." He said this both to assure the twins Daizi would not be sick forever and to assure his wife that it was almost at an end, and she wouldn't need to keep feeling so upset with herself because of what was out of her control.
 
"Bull," Xander muttered. "Enough bull to open a whole ranch." He surged to his feet, glaring at Daizi. "Enough! Okay? Enough! I am sick and tired of listening to you going on and on about everything in this friggin' world is all your fault, everything is your fault, especially the stuff that you can't do jack shit about! You got dealt the short end of the stick on something you really wanted in life. Whoopty-friggin'-do. That's not your fault anymore than it's my fault our mom had crap taste in men! So cut the martyr act out and try to actually enjoy what you've got instead of feeling so damn guilty and responsible for stuff that ain't yours to feel responsible for! Instead of being so sorry, do something about it and focus on taking care of your own damn self! Worry as a side piece, not your full-time job. Do what you need to do without trying to think about how we'll react because then we're all just prancing on eggshells and slicing our feet open. Just... do it!" He turned and marched out of the room, shoving the door open and letting it swing closed behind him, which it did with a gentle click.

Alec sat in his chair, knees pulled up to his chest, hugging them tightly as his fingers worried the cuff of one sleeve. He said nothing at all, keeping quiet and hoping to remain unnoticed in this episode of melodrama.
 
She sat up straighter as Xander was yelling at her, "I'm not putting on a martyr act, I'm just trying to treat you right and I don't know how to do it. I want to make you comfortable, and I don't know how, because they don't make books on how to navigate this, and I'm pregnant and blind but I'm not stupid, and it's not like I haven't noticed that things are weird, and it's weird because I'm pregnant, so yes, I'm going to feel guilty, because I'm at the utmost center of it, and I can't escape from it. Dark may be half responsible for it, but you're able to be in a room with him and forget about it, because he isn't outgrowing all of his clothes, so you don't have a ever-increasing visual reminder of the weirdness!" She was about to start talking about how now Alec seemed like he could hardly stand to be in the same room as her some days and about how, honestly, Xander probably didn't want her to talk about how much she already loved her baby and how excited she was to get to hold her, because then he would have to confront more than he was prepared for, but Xander left the room. She was mad enough about it that she would have just followed him out of room, but she was held in place by the IV.

In her estimation, it was a mother's job--be it biological, adoptive, or foster--to prioritize her kids and she was trying to do that, she was trying. She wanted to scream. All she wanted was to make them feel secure and now she was being yelled at because she was doing the exact opposite of it, and she couldn't even apologize for not doing it right, because then she would just be accused of martyring herself, so what she supposed to do? And the worst part was she had spent most of her day worrying about them long before she became pregnant, pretty much since the day she met them, but clearly they thought it was a new, guilt-induced thing she'd move past.

Dark had already moved to sit beside Alec, not because he was trying to flee from his angry wife but because he figured it was probably upsetting for the teen who remained in the room. He didn't say anything, and he didn't touch him, but he did place himself there.
 
Xander didn't hear a word of what she said as he was already heading out the door and soon long gone.

Alec didn't look at Dark or touch him, but he did lean closer, seeking comfort he dare not try to take from the man who seemed so reserved in touch. Not that Alec blamed him. "I'm sorry for Xander. He shouldn't be upsetting you," Alec whispered.
 
Seeing Alec lean closer towards him, Dark reached over and rubbed his back, "It will be okay," he said under his breath, "it is just a stressful time."

"No, it's okay, it's fine," She groaned, rubbing her hands over her face, "he's young, he's upset, if he wants to yell, then nothing I could say would make him not yell." She couldn't say she wasn't upset by it, but she didn't want to make it his problem. She would just talk to Xander when he was calm, and when she was, and they'd probably end up yelling at each other all over again.
 
Alec gave a little nod and leaned into the hand touching his back, soaking in the positive contact. "I'm sorry," he said again, trying to reach into the awkward void. "We don't know how to be kids. Not kids belonging to anyone, anyway. You don't know how to be parents, and we don't know how to be your kids." He rested his cheek on his knees, staring at nothing. "I guess... most people, when they have a child, they have a chance to grow with them. Everyone talks about children experiencing things for the first time, but I guess parents experience those exact same things, too. Just from the other side. We don't get that since he and I are all grown up. kind of."
 
"I just want..." Daizi murmured, and closed her eyes, leaving off on her sentence. She wanted to take some time to think before speaking again.

Dark went from having his hand on Alec's back to wrapping his arm entirely around him. It shouldn't be surprising, but he was strong, "You have had to act grown up," he said in his low, deep voice, "but you are not all grown up. You still have a lot of growing to do, and I think, part of why we act the way we do, is because we want to let you both know that it is okay to just let yourselves be kids. To learn how to just be kids. You are not Atlas, you do not need to carry the world anymore. It is okay to set it down."

She listened to this and tried to turn away from them as best she could, hating the IV that held her in place. Still, despite folding herself away from the conversation, she said, "We can learn to be parents and you can learn to be kids at the same time."

Dark looked across the room at her, and even at a distance could read what was on her mind, so he said, "And it is okay if any of us four stumble as we all try to figure it out. We all knew when we agreed to this it would not be easy."
 
Alec managed a tiny smile and nestled into Dark. No wonder Daizi did this. While he'd always turned to Xander for comfort and safety, Dark's arm provided a safety he'd never felt before. There was nothing that could make it past this bulwark. He said nothing more, pressing into Dark, and closed his eyes, pretending he wasn't where they were. Pretending they were home and everything was fine again.
 
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