How Green Becomes Wood

Dark flinched, holding his wrist a little tighter. He knew it was going to be that question. But the answer... A lingering shadow passed over Dark's face. There was nothing he could say. What did someone say to that? He had expressed in that thrift store, mildly, subtly, concerns about it. He had been afraid about it. And he hadn't been able to stop, or prevent...

His eyes were trained on his tattooed hands, unable to look at Alec, not from shame, or that he was disgusted or appalled by what the teen had said, but because he knew Alec felt guilty over everything, constantly. And because Dark could feel he had not controlled his own expression, so if he looked at him now, the teen would see he was upset, and internalize it, like it was his fault. It wasn't, but Alec was never good at seeing what was and wasn't his fault.

Finally he was able to pull his face together enough to turn towards Alec and say, "It has only been two weeks. Nobody expects the hurt to be gone."
 
Alec tried to look at Dark but couldn't quite manage it. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-" He was cut short by Xander pulling him into a tight hug.

"Stop being sorry for everything," Xander commanded, his voice breaking into a little squeak. "It's not your fault. It never was." He pressed his face into Alec's hair. "You were just trying to do the best you could, and you slipped a bit. It's okay. I hurt you. It's my fault. I can't fix it, but I'll never stop trying."

Alec let out a little whimper and wrapped his arms around Xander, clinging to him tightly. Soft noises of crying came from the huddle as Xander held tight to Alec, and Alec held tight to him.

After a moment, Lance stood, sighing softly as he pulled his leathers straight. He glanced at Dark and indicated the other side of the room with a nod of his head. He wanted a word with him.
 
Dark watched them, and sighed heavily. He rubbed Alec's back when he stood up and then walked over towards Lance, arms folded over his chest, although not defensively, "Look, we have been trying to get him into therapy, but we have had some trouble with insurance we have been trying to resolve, and we are trying to be thorough, because theirs is a complicated situation and I know how damaging a therapist who is not prepared for the level of trauma being brought to them can be. So if..." He trailed off, visibly tense and staring at the floor.
 
Lance gave Dark a stern look. "Mr. Dark, you're doing a hell of a lot more than most. There's nothing to sorry about there. It's a rough situation all around that you got handed, but do you know how many foster I've seen try to rehome kids like Xander and Alec instead of even trying? Nah, you're head and shoulders above the rest, man." He flashed a smile. "And I don't just mean literally!" His expression softened. "You're doing just fine. You got nothin' to fear from my office. From what I've seen, you're a damn good father."
 
Dark scratched his beard and rubbed the back of his neck. Under other situations, he would have remarked on the little height joke, but everything seemed far too serious for that. Still, he relaxed when he was told he didn't have to worry about their office. It made it easier. The sound of the twins made the hair on the back of his neck stand on end, but that confirmation was enough to make him meet Lance's eyes, "That is good to hear, I do not think, if they had to be resettled again, they would do well." He took a quick glance at them, still holding himself, utterly unable acknowledge what Lance had said about being a good father. It hit deeply, after everything he had been through his entire life it hit him to his core, but all he could say was, "No, you should see Daizi. She makes it..." He came as near as he had to smiling since Lance showed up, "It would all fall apart without her."
 
Lance smiled briefly. "I only met her once under less than optimal conditions, and I know she'd say the same about you." He cleared his throat and turned away. "Well, that's about all I needed to cover. If you have any real trouble with the therapists, let me know and I'll see what I can do. I don't have a lot of influence on that side of things, but I can do a bit. I don't suppose you've had a chance to think about whether or not you wanted to pursue legal action concerning back pay on the child support owed them?"
 
Dark shook his head, "No, we would not make a decision like that without consulting them, and it is not the right time for that conversation. I want them to have what they are owed, but I do not want them to have to go through anything that would put them through more turmoil. It is not really something we can rush."
 
Lance nodded. "I respect that. Well, unless you have-"

"Wait." Xander walked up to them, keeping his distance but getting closer. Alec remained on the couch, watching between rubbing his eyes. "What was that about back-pay on child support?"

Lance hesitated, glancing at Dark, but decided to answer. "There is a possibility you could sue your biological father for not paying child support."

Xander looked at Dark. "Are you going to?"
 
"We were going to ask you both about it, when everything was more settled," Dark replied, turning towards them, "it seemed like unnecessarily painful to offer it so soon after he abandoned you again. If you want us to, we will, but for Daizi and myself, it is up to you and Alec." He could see them either demanding they make that bastard pay, or he could see them saying they didn't want a cent more from him, and had no idea which way they leaned.
 
"Let's do it," Xander said, his eyes burning.

"We'll have to discuss this with your foster parents before any legal actions can take place," Lance warned. "It would be a tidy sum to put into a college fund."

Xander shook his head. "College fund nothing. It's not about the money. He wanted to forget us. Wants to pretend like we never existed. Treated us and our mum like disposable trash. She wasn't the best mum, but she deserved a hell of a lot better than she got, and I want to force him to remember us. If I could, I'd brand our names into his arm so he'd always see them, but since I can't, this will have to do. I don't care what we do with the money. It can go to the widows and orphans fund for all I care. I just want him to remember."
 
Dark nodded, understanding Xander perfectly, "We can do it then," he wanted to say 'if your brother agrees' but... It was something where if Alec didn't, one of them would be unhappy with the outcome, and if he had to be honest... Dark wanted Declan to have to remember them, too. Drawing in a breath, he smoothed his t-shirt, out of habit, and said, "But perhaps it is something we can discuss later, when Daizi is home, so we can figure it all out properly, okay?"

He did actually have a question for Lance, but not one which involved the twins, so he didn't want to ask it in front of them. Turning back to the man, he asked, "Is there anything else?"
 
Xander gave a sharp nod. "Agreed." He turned and walked back to Alec, sitting down next to his brother.

Lance shook his head. "That's it. I just have to go make a report and file it. Lots of paperwork for this job." He moved toward the door but paused before he retrieved his shoes. "Unless you have any questions? Sorry, the kid's demand kind of threw me and I forgot I hadn't asked. Got any questions I can answer for you? You answered all of mine, and you're free to call whenever you need."
 
"I can imagine," Dark remarked, walking Lance to the door. He hesitated for a moment, and played with his wedding ring again. It was a difficult thing to ask, but something he had been worrying about, "I actually do have one question. Not about them... I do not know if you noticed, when last we met, but my wife is both pregnant and blind. I have been concerned, very much so, even before... all of this: When the baby is born, should we expect drop in visits from you or one of your co-workers? Or will she be trusted the same way sighted mothers are?"

If this had ever occurred to Daizi, she hadn't voiced it. Knowing her, it probably had, but out of fear and indignation she stuffed it down. Already, certainly, she had met pushback from some people in her life regarding her decision to become a mother. Not in this particular pregnancy, yet, at least none she had heard, but in the past, from friends she no longer spoke to. Dark knew perfectly well that socially, Daizi would have an uphill battle to be viewed as a legitimate and fully capable parent to a baby, and he worried if she might have a similar battle with the government. It would be good to know in advance, so they could prepare emotionally and mentally, if in no other ways.
 
For just an instant, Lance looked confused. "Why would-" He stopped himself before the words escaped, and he started pulling on his boots. "I'm going to assume that your wife has an OBGYN that knows and understands at least something about the visually impaired. Most of them have had some training, though they might not have ever actually had a visually impaired person as a patient." He finished tying his boots and straightened. "Unless someone lodges a complaint or a concern, there's absolutely no reason for anyone working in my office to come knocking on your door, at least not for that reason. Since you're foster parents, your kids' social worker might come just to ensure everything is copacetic. Actually, they should be checking in every six months or so, no less, maybe more if they feel there's a reason to."

He rubbed his chin, thinking. "If she's concerned, I'd suggest you get her involved with a support group if she isn't already. A good chunk of parents experience some kind of disability or other, and visual impairment is definitely on the list. Maybe try, oh, what's the name... Vision Aware, I think, and there are a few others. Loads of visually impaired mothers and fathers have raised kids, and it's no different than sighted ones." He paused and then sighed. "That's not to say there won't be a few dinguses who call CPS and ask us to look into things. By law, we're required to check every single claim. No matter how many times someone might call for the same family. There's one poor family that gets us called on them every. Damn. Month. Excuse my French. And we gotta investigate every time. But officially? Nah."
 
Dark nodded, relieved, "I am glad to know we will not be pestered. It will be a relief to her to know that. She has a group she goes to monthly, not specifically about parenting, but they have given us resources, and we have all of the podcasts, and..." He waved his hand, "It does not matter. Or, rather, is not pressing for our purposes. Thank you. I am sure at some point a neighbor or someone will call concerned about it, but, knowing we will not immediately be added to some list is a comfort. That was all I wanted to ask. Although our social worker has never checked in."
 
Lance rubbed his chin with a frown. "Well, technically, you will now officially have a record of having us called, which might cause trouble any future fostering or adoption attempts. I'm not saying it'll stop you, it just might make things annoying. You might have to press the judge or whoever to actually look at the report, but once they do and talk to the officer in charge - me - they'll go right ahead and approve you. We'll have to keep a report if anyone calls us in the future, but again, as far as the CPS is concerned, there's no official reason for us to be concerned. Hopefully, I'll be able to write out the conclusion to this visit, stuff it in my file cabinet, and forget all about it. Unfortunately, if you've had your boys for six months and you haven't even gotten a call from your social worker, you might want to call their office. Not getting those bi-yearly check-ins and reports can really get you in a tangle which is just a headache for everyone, and you don't need that. Just a quick call should be all it takes."
 
"We do not intend to foster anyone else, three is enough," Dark responded. As for adoption... He glanced over his shoulder at the twins. It was something he had never really thought about. They never really spoke about the future--but there didn't seem to be a point to spend too much thought on it, now. Unconsciously, Dark tucked the thought away, and sighed, rubbing his face. There was always something, "Right, yes. We will call then. I think it has been seven months since we have been in the system--we took them in back in December, but it was not immediately official. Hopefully it will be easy, although with the time we have had... But the system is overburdened, I have been teaching for ten years, I see from a different side of the equation how these things can go very often."
 
Lance chuckled. "Well, you didn't intend to pick up those two hitchhikers, either, so it's good to know your options." He nodded toward the twins when he referenced them, his tone fond. "Well, I guess that's that, so unless you have any other questions?" He let the sentence trail off, giving Dark plenty of opportunity to say something.
 
"No, and we did not expect the baby either," Dark agreed, his expression nearly changing as he realized with mild consternation how many children had been thrust into his life. He hoped there wouldn't be any more, "No, no more questions. I hope wherever you are headed next is simpler."
 
"It's never simple, but it is worth it." Lance Constable shook Dark's hand and let himself out. He headed down to his motorcycle, put on a helmet, and kicked it to life. The motorcycle let out a low, rumbling growl and took off down the street.

Alec and Xander still sat on the couch, no longer clinging to each other, but staying close. Alec had cried himself into hiccups, and Xander was holding a box of tissues for him.
 
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