How to write a DISTURBING scene?

(WARNING: GRAPHIC CONTENT)

Okay, so in this book I'm writing, there's a very disturbing moment later down the line. What happens is a (for lack of a better term) fucked-up scientist uses his creation's DNA to create a new creation, more powerful than the last. How he does this is very cruel. Long story short, he..."extracts" sperm cells from his creation to add to a genetically engineered egg cell. I'm sure the methods are quite obvious at this point. And the whole scene is told from the creation's POV.

Now, where I'm having trouble is how to write this scene...tastefully. I don't want to hold back in this book, since it has an overall dark and disturbing story, but I also don't want to cross a line that makes people just stop the book right there.

If anyone has any tips on how to make the scene disturbing without being offensive, please help me out. Tips about how to make the scene more disturbing are welcome too.
 
question: does it have to be a sperm cell? Because artificially fertilising an egg cell with a somatic cell is also an option aaaaand I imagine it would be easier since you can probably just use an easier to access cell (like skin or muscle tissue) as opposed to something stored deep inside some testicles.
 
question: does it have to be a sperm cell? Because artificially fertilising an egg cell with a somatic cell is also an option aaaaand I imagine it would be easier since you can probably just use an easier to access cell (like skin or muscle tissue) as opposed to something stored deep inside some testicles.
For consistency, yes. Dr. Syndrome (as I call him) made his twin creations with a genetically engineered sperm cells and a human egg cell, so to make the "perfect" creation, he needs a sperm cell from his most successful creation and a carefully genetically engineered egg cell.
 
I guess? ? ?

I mean, I feel like just taking a diploid cell, doing some editing on the nuclear DNA itself, and then inserting the nucleus into a nucleus-less egg cell would produce more consistent results than using one out of a random mixed bag of haploid cells that may or may not even include the gene you're looking for

but I ain't no doctor so heck do I know? and also I really should stop being a wet blanket sorry

I think as for writing itself, just. make it very Clear that what this mad doc is doing is Wrong. Focus on the creation's distress / fear / pain / etc. Making the whole thing very clearly clinical might help too , I think?
 
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I guess? ? ?

I mean, I feel like just taking a diploid cell, doing some editing on the nuclear DNA itself, and then inserting the nucleus into a nucleus-less egg cell would produce more consistent results than using one out of a random mixed bag of haploid cells that may or may not even include the gene you're looking for

but I ain't no doctor so heck do I know? and also I really should stop being a wet blanket sorry

I think as for writing itself, just. make it very Clear that what this mad doc is doing is Wrong. Focus on the creation's distress / fear / pain / etc. Making the whole thing very clearly clinical might help too , I think?
You're not being a wet blanket, don't worry. Dr. Syndrome needs to fertilize the egg naturally, or the resulting creation will be unstable.

And yes, concerning the writing portion, that is a big help!
 
As with most graphic scenes, unless the intent is to be as graphically descriptive as possible, there are better ways to go about it. I'm going to go out on a limb here and assume this process involves getting stabbed in the balls with some kind of sharp object. If that's true, the easiest way to go about it would not be to describe the task, but to describe the immediate effects on the people and their surroundings, and imply the actions. The reader's mind will fill in the blanks.
 
As with most graphic scenes, unless the intent is to be as graphically descriptive as possible, there are better ways to go about it. I'm going to go out on a limb here and assume this process involves getting stabbed in the balls with some kind of sharp object. If that's true, the easiest way to go about it would not be to describe the task, but to describe the immediate effects on the people and their surroundings, and imply the actions. The reader's mind will fill in the blanks.
That's not exactly what I had in mind, but that advice helps with any of the choices I could go with. What I had in mind was rape, which brought up the question of "Is this going to be offensive?" Granted, it'd still be disturbing, which is what I'm going for, but like I said, I don't want the reader to just throw the book out just because of this scene.
 
Ah, I see. Describing the act makes it just end up looking like rape smut, and for most people, it's going to cause them to throw the book out. Describe the struggle, the emotions, reactions. At the same time, less is more, when you're doing this. Describing what's going on can often be less horrifying than what the reader can come up with. That being said, aside from Dr. Syndrome being a wacko, I don't see why he would bother with rape over just putting the patient under, and extracting it via another method. It would make things much simpler.

At any rate, just stray away from the graphic action as best you can, and you should be fine.
 
Ah, I see. Describing the act makes it just end up looking like rape smut, and for most people, it's going to cause them to throw the book out. Describe the struggle, the emotions, reactions. At the same time, less is more, when you're doing this. Describing what's going on can often be less horrifying than what the reader can come up with. That being said, aside from Dr. Syndrome being a wacko, I don't see why he would bother with rape over just putting the patient under, and extracting it via another method. It would make things much simpler.

At any rate, just stray away from the graphic action as best you can, and you should be fine.
That makes sense. Thanks! As for why he does this, Dr. Syndrome thrives on being the cause of others' suffering. The longer the process takes, the better. In other words, he's a sadist.
 
To be brutally honest with you, I would put down the book if you did anything further than imply what was going to happen and cut to black. No matter how well you wrote the scene and focused on your character's emotions/reactions rather than the event itself, I would be too disturbed to keep going. 'Onscreen' rape is a strict line for me, and even offscreen is toeing it. I don't consider it offensive, to answer that question, the topic simply freaks me out too much for me to want to come across it like that in a book I'm reading to relax, for my own enjoyment.

But that's just my reaction. Of course, you're the author, and I don't want to tell you what you should or shouldn't write. But I do think it's fair to warn you that if you do choose to describe that scene, no matter how tactfully, you'll lose some readers. Another perspective, is all.
 
To be brutally honest with you, I would put down the book if you did anything further than imply what was going to happen and cut to black. No matter how well you wrote the scene and focused on your character's emotions/reactions rather than the event itself, I would be too disturbed to keep going. 'Onscreen' rape is a strict line for me, and even offscreen is toeing it. I don't consider it offensive, to answer that question, the topic simply freaks me out too much for me to want to come across it like that in a book I'm reading to relax, for my own enjoyment.

But that's just my reaction. Of course, you're the author, and I don't want to tell you what you should or shouldn't write. But I do think it's fair to warn you that if you do choose to describe that scene, no matter how tactfully, you'll lose some readers. Another perspective, is all.
Ditto. The topic itself is going to be freaky, and that's what you're going for, but keep in mind how sensitive a subject it is, if you want to do anything along those lines at all.
That is true, and I do have plenty of story left to write to think about it. Even so, if I do decide to do this scene, I'd rather do it tactfully instead of making the scene almost glanced over, too extreme, or even offensive. I know someone is always going to be offended with this kind of subject, but I still want to do this as tactfully as possible.
 
I'm gonna agree with SedentaryCobra, this isn't little stuff you're playing with. I know you know that, but it's different than gore or even torture. Not many people have been kidnapped and tortured, but there are unfortunately a lot of folks out there who've experienced sexual assault. It hits close to home in a way fictional violence and fictional torture really don't for most people.

It's not about being offended, really. Offended is different. Like, I'd be a bit offended if you put in a scene where the hero refused to save someone 'cause they were gay, something like that. This is more... well, there isn't a way you can write the scene out explicitly without alienating a good portion of your readers, is all I'm saying. I get that it's supposed to be disturbing, but in my opinion, there is no way to write an 'onscreen' rape tactfully, plain and simple. I think describing the scene is over the top in and of itself.

Cutting to black won't be glancing over it, not if you write about the aftereffects. Writing rape isn't about the one instance of trauma, it's about how the trauma affects your character through the rest of the story, maybe the rest of their life. In this case, the sexual abuse will be in addition to some other pretty messed up stuff, I'm gathering, so you should have plenty to work with. No one will try to accuse you of glossing over the topic for not writing the graphic parts out blow by blow if you actually go to the trouble of portraying your character working through the PTSD effects.

In fact, given two stories- one that described a rape in detail but had the character be mysteriously unaffected afterwards with no signs of trauma... and one that only implied the event itself and focused instead on the character development in the aftermath? I would say the second was the product of a more tactful writer.

And remember too, sometimes what you imply can be worse than what you tell. The reader's mind can be even crueler than your most twisted character. There's a reason horror movies that cut away at the last second are scarier than slasher flicks. Gore is whatever, I already know what's inside my body, I don't care. But boy howdy can I imagine some twisted stuff going on just out of view of the camera. And that's what's really terrifying- not knowing he specifics, makes you really give some thought to the endless possibilities of what could be too awful to even show.

Additionally, there isn't anything wrong with writing the scene and later choosing to redo/scrap it, or alternatively choosing to cut to black and later putting it in. This is a rough copy, nothing you do here is set in stone anyway. I always end up throwing out 90% of my first drafts of anything. :)
 
I'm gonna agree with SedentaryCobra, this isn't little stuff you're playing with. I know you know that, but it's different than gore or even torture. Not many people have been kidnapped and tortured, but there are unfortunately a lot of folks out there who've experienced sexual assault. It hits close to home in a way fictional violence and fictional torture really don't for most people.

It's not about being offended, really. Offended is different. Like, I'd be a bit offended if you put in a scene where the hero refused to save someone 'cause they were gay, something like that. This is more... well, there isn't a way you can write the scene out explicitly without alienating a good portion of your readers, is all I'm saying. I get that it's supposed to be disturbing, but in my opinion, there is no way to write an 'onscreen' rape tactfully, plain and simple. I think describing the scene is over the top in and of itself.

Cutting to black won't be glancing over it, not if you write about the aftereffects. Writing rape isn't about the one instance of trauma, it's about how the trauma affects your character through the rest of the story, maybe the rest of their life. In this case, the sexual abuse will be in addition to some other pretty messed up stuff, I'm gathering, so you should have plenty to work with. No one will try to accuse you of glossing over the topic for not writing the graphic parts out blow by blow if you actually go to the trouble of portraying your character working through the PTSD effects.

In fact, given two stories- one that described a rape in detail but had the character be mysteriously unaffected afterwards with no signs of trauma... and one that only implied the event itself and focused instead on the character development in the aftermath? I would say the second was the product of a more tactful writer.

And remember too, sometimes what you imply can be worse than what you tell. The reader's mind can be even crueler than your most twisted character. There's a reason horror movies that cut away at the last second are scarier than slasher flicks. Gore is whatever, I already know what's inside my body, I don't care. But boy howdy can I imagine some twisted stuff going on just out of view of the camera. And that's what's really terrifying- not knowing he specifics, makes you really give some thought to the endless possibilities of what could be too awful to even show.

Additionally, there isn't anything wrong with writing the scene and later choosing to redo/scrap it, or alternatively choosing to cut to black and later putting it in. This is a rough copy, nothing you do here is set in stone anyway. I always end up throwing out 90% of my first drafts of anything. :)
This actually helps a huge deal! :emoji_grinning: Cutting to black might be my best option, since the creation is changed after the event, and becomes more dangerous and unstable. As for the new creation, named Vizyx, he now has to deal with having a son who is stronger than him, more dangerous than him, and more unfeeling than him. And after Dr. Syndrome creates Vizyx, the creation betrays him and cuts him down, becoming even more cruel than before.
 
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