Loveless

Isabelle had managed to make it through test tasting the new cookies and training her class at the dojo, with enough time to spare. She was exhausted from the day's events and she knew he still needed to go back to the hospital to check on Alex. A part of her still felt guilty for being so harsh to him once they arrived there. Sighing she looked at Lian, he was closing up the bakery for her as usual. Throughout the years she was alone he was there as a sort of comfort. Though, he respectively was more of a younger brother to her than anything. She had spent their lunch explaining to him that Alex was back, Lian understood that she was feeling a bit confused and offered to take Akira while she visited Alex. It had been a while since he had seen Alex, and he was all too aware of the pain he caused. And she deserved answers, one he knew she wouldn't ask around Akira. He gave her a supportive hug before watching her drive off, picking up Akira he took her back to his house. They visited often so his living room was often riddled with toys for the kid. He felt more like an overprotective uncle to the girl than anything else.

Isabelle walked into his room, after a little bit of an argument with the nurse at the front desk slacking on her job she had made it. He was sleeping when she got there, she sighed seeing him bandaged up. She had plenty of questions, and she would get answers. Walking over to his bedside she impulsively brushed the hair from his face before his eyes flicked open. She jerked her hand away and moved to a chair next to his bed trying to calm her heart again. Luckily she had managed to stop the blush forming on her face. The room was silent until he spoke.

"Where were you Alex? And why wait 3 years to come back? Do you even know what I had to go through, Alone? Because you weren't there." Isabelle's tone was accusatory and filled with deep hurt, something she had felt for the years she spent alone.
 
Alex’s day was miserable, horrible, long. Surgery, crappy food and he couldn’t even change the channel to the tv. Couldn’t read a book, his whole body hurt like hell. He’d taken to dozing. The night was gonna be a massive DRAG. He just wanted Isabella to be around. Hold his hand. Hell he’d tell her to get her cute arse into the bed so he could try to snuggle her. Nurses be screwed.

Something brushed his hair and he opened his eyes to look. It was Isabella.

“Hey there beautiful! Waazzzup!?” He chuckles and it hurt.

“So you wanna ask first?”

And like that he felt his heart slowly break. She brought down a hammer upon him. All accusations. Like he would I’ve left her. No way he’ll would he have walked out. But fighting as arguing with her helped and solved nothing.

He sighed. And hung his head. Tell the truth...

“All over the place mostly, Mexico, Cuba, Afghanistan, Turkey , India, finally ended up in China. That was a few months maybe a year? Not sure. Always somewhere Dark damp and unpleasant. Didn’t get to see the Great Wall!” He frowned a bit. Next one was just as bad. “Finally got free.” “I can’t imagine. I’m sorry Issy.” She probably couldn’t imagine what he’d been through but she held his focus and worry.
“I was kidnapped. Human trafficking. Alex didn’t want to mention the parts with his brother those had been worse. He was surprised it had only been three years. Not six, but hey sooner better than later. Better to relive Isabella now. Than have her carry it around for longer.

“Come on there’s a spot by me, lay down, ask me more. I’ll answer til your happy.”
 
She was exasperated, her chest ached from bringing up the pain and she watched him hand his head with crossed arms. His carefree tone talking about something so serious upset her. She narrowed her eyes as he said kidnapped, all this time she thought he just left. Isabelle ran a hand over her face and through her hair frustrated. "Stop talking like you're okay Alex. It's pissing me off." She huffed but gave in and grabbed her chair moving it closer to him so she was within arms reach. "I will ask you more questions..but I'll stay in my chair."

Isabelle closed her eyes to calm herself, "You're right you can't imagine...I won't even try to imagine what you went through but that doesn't change the fact that you were gone Alex. I spent three years alone, you have to see how hard it is to believe you now." She clenched her arm in her hand over her stomach, she was getting anxious. She closed her eyes and her brows furrowed, "How did you find me? And why not go to the hospital first? Why come to my doorstep trying to act like everything normal? What if Akira had seen you? How am I supposed to explain to a child that a man is bleeding to death on our doorstep!" Isabelle was letting her emotions get the best of her. She missed him of course but the years of hurt and the feeling of betrayal left her bitter. How was she supposed to trust what he said, how was she supposed to trust him at all?
 
Alex drops hissmilie and looks at her. “I know your in pain. But please forgive me for acting carefree. I’m going to break without this fake smilie. Please let me have something I once had...” he frowns a bit. Just a bit, and the cracks instantly showed. She could see it worsen with her words and her bitterness. It really did hurt. He was trying to smilie again, but it was half hearted he could only get part of his lips to curl upwards. His eyes held only pain. If he was a child he would have cried. He strains and cracks the cast to hold her hand. Oh damn that hurt. He lets her lash out and takes it waiting for her to finish.

“You were my only light if I came to the hospital and couldn’t find you, well they’d be telling you they finally found me, and if he in a body bag somewhere.”
 
Isabelle instantly regretted her words once again, the broken look in his eyes nearly made her flinch. Watching him crack his cast sent her mad, he was losing his mind. "I swear Alex, you need to take care of yourself. You're in a hospital ripping off the things meant to heal you. Estupido loco pendejo." She muttered the curses under her breath and sighed. "Fine. Alex if it helps you by smiling I won't stop you. Just-just let me know when your hurting. You never tell me anything. You always leave me in the dark." The look in her eyes could've given a man a heart attack, it was held with such sadness and care that she tried not to let it spread to her face.

"I suppose you have questions as well?"
 
“Yeah alright I’ll let you know.” He smilies at her. “Will you come sit next to me so I can snuggle you? Who is Akita’s father? What all have I missed?” He asked her rapid fire like a machine gun. He had waited so long and now he didn’t know what all he’d missed for them! Anniversaries honey moons and all the other things he’d committed to! He couldn’t just let them slide by.

“How’s Laim did he finally get that undergrad done? How are our friends?”
 
Isabelle sighed and moved to sit next to him, being weary of his injuries she tried not to lean against him too much. Isabelle shook her head at the questions, she was still worried he could leave at any moment. She couldn't just leave her heart out for the ain't for him to leave again, especially not with Akira in the picture. She ran a hand through her hair and looked at him. "Slow down with the questions, you'll lose your breath and then I'll have to call a nurse." Isabelle crossed her arms, "I have my own bakery, and dojo now. I finished school. Lian did finish his undergrad. He's almost done with his graduate's degree. But he works part-time in the bakery and helps me with the dojo...Our friends are okay..Most of them I stopped talking to me after a while of you disappearing. Chase and Bridget opened their own tattoo shop, and they ended up getting married. Which was a shock considering how much they hated each other. But they have twins now, they were born a few months ago." Isabelle thought, maybe if I ignore the question about Akira he'll forget.
 
Alex leans into her. She seemed so distant he had just wanted to come home and be with them! Why did she seem so cold hearted. She answered every question except the one about Akira.

“Well that’s pretty impressive. Is there a job opening for me?”

“Hopefully Laim will catch his big break soon!”

“That’s really cool surprising but really cool. We will have to go see them and get them a card.”

“Hey Izzy? You still sensitive in those spots?” He smirks and gently rubs the back of her neck. And rubbing on her nerves. Going for the spot on her chest probably wouldn’t go to well right now.

“And can I use our bed when I’m back home?”
 
"If you want to work in the bakery, I won't stop you....But you'll have to be healed first, and don't expect me to go easy on you. As for Chase and Bridget, I'm certain you can get them a card once you're better." She sighed and jumped when he started rubbing her neck, a small groan escaped her lips before she blushed and turned to glare and him moving her neck away from his hands. "You can sleep in the guest room. There's a spare bed in there." She crossed her arms and let out a small sigh of relief he hadn't mentioned Akira again, she didn't know what to tell him at this point. Her heart had been guarded for so long she didn't know how to react.
 
Alex sighs, she was putting him in the guest bedroom. Damn he wanted her warm embrace once more. He stops and thinks and looks at her.

“If I’m sleeping and you have your arms around me I can’t get away.” He whispers in her ear. Before sighing. Yeah he wasn’t Manipulative. “It’s been three long years. Cant I hold the love of my life again? I missed having your arms around me. And hearing you quietly mutter in your sleep.” He sighs and relaxes his arm slipping off of her since she seemed a bit unhappy with rubbing her neck.
 
When he whispered in her ear she flushed, he just wanted to sleep in her bed. "I don't mutter in my sleep. And Alex I know you want things to go back to normal..but the simple fact is things have changed. I-i've changed. I can't just go back to the way things used to be." She looked at him exasperated and huffed. "Not to mention you're injured. You need to heal. If you leave again that's your choice. I won't stop you." She looked away a bit hurt by his comment, he was just teasing her now.
 
Alex sighs should’ve have done that but at least it came off as more than a tease than him trying to manipulate her. Yeah he couldn’t do that. He sighs and sits with her. Just thinking. And sighing.

“So who’s Akira’s father?”
 
Isabelle tensed when he asked about Akira and flushed not facing him. There was a long silence as she thought, she couldn't bring herself to tell him the truth. Lying was the best option she thought. She only hoped Lian would forgive her. "L-lian's. S-she's lian's daughter." Her voice was quiet, she was afraid to even say. She knew this would hurt him but what else could be done. He might really push her to go back to what things used to be otherwise, and she needed to know for sure he was here to stay.
 
Alex stopped at that answer. It was Lain. He kinda just shut down. Why did it have to be lain?! Man was suppose to be a good friend at least, and he’s shagged his wife while he was away. A strong burning sensation filled his body he wanted to rip out the ivs and whale on someone like he’d had to do for the past three years. He wanted to Club Lain to death. But that wasn’t right he wasn’t back there. Alex sighed and lays down burying his face in the hospital Pillow and rolling to his side. Damn it he wasn’t suppose to do that. He could feel it. But he couldn’t look at her.

It was kinda hopeless. Now he actually wanted to leave. To be anywhere but here. To bad dad was missing, He wasn’t going to mess with Felix. And his older brother wasn’t in the best place. His twin sister was in Jail. Probably trying to find mom.

“Guest room it is.” He flippantly says. Shutting down completely. Pulling tight into his shell.
 
Isabelle turned to face him and watched him bury himself into the pillows. She instantly regretted her words, but it was too late to correct it now. She just hoped he wouldn't try to beat Lain. "A-alex I'm sorry...I-it wasn't on purpose, we were drunk and I-" SHe bit her lip and clenched her fist, why was she lying. Why was it so hard to just admit Akira was his. "I-I think I should go.. Visiting hours are nearly over and I need to pick up Akira....I-I'll stop by tomorrow to pick you up." She slowly stood and walked to the door, she stopped just as she reached and turned to look at him before sighing and making her way out.

The drive to Lain's seemed to stretch forever, the silence and guilt that surrounded her nearly consumed her alive. When she reached Lain's she parked in his driveway and knocked on the door. Once he opened she looked at him hopelessly with tears streaking down her face, he was glad Akira was sleep. He listened to her as she explained and looked at her in disbelief. "You did what?! Isabelle he's going to murder me!" She shook her head and he hugged her before she managed to collect herself and take Akira home. After tucking Akira in her bed she went to her own and laid thinking about what she had done.
 
Alex brushes Isabella off. She’d been cold. Then she’d gotten drunk and had a kid. HES been locked in so many pits and places beaten and cut and forced to fight. Tortured and worse. Yet this was by far the worst he’d been through.

He shut down. And it hurt even more all Isabella could do was throw out a half cooked excuse. And tried to do that thing. She treated him roughly, sometimes about to snap at him, and she’d stressed him out, he’d suffered and had come all the way back for her. And she was kinda mean and harsh, nearly venomous, which was to be expected, but then SHE BANGED A CLOSE FRIEND!

His rage subsided. He wanted to clobber Lain but he wouldn’t. He couldn’t. He sighed. She qjust left him. Didn’t try to comfort or love him. He kinda of turned off.


Nurses passed him by asked him what he wanted he just said water.

They wheeled hims to the car the next day and gave him over to Isabella. He say quietly. And rose straight up to the. Nurse’s horror and got in the car.

His legs felt like they were going to shatter he didn’t give a damn he didn’t care he wanted to be dead right now. Stuck in a home that didn’t love him. He smilies at Akira. “Sup Princess?” It lacked the joy of yesterday the excitement and the flair.
 
When Isabelle came to the hospital with Akira the next morning she had hoped to ease some of the tension. When he rose from the wheelchair and walked past her she clenched her fists. She had already been so cruel she would say no more, she thanked the nurse and got in the driver's seat. She glanced at Alex sadly before tearing her gaze away.

Akira looked at the man and smiled, "Hi mister! Did you have fun at the doctors? I ate cereal for breakfast!" She gave a cheeky smile and held out Mr. bunny to him, "Mr. Bunny missed you too!"
 
Alex smilies and pets her head. “Yep! He looks peppy today!” He smilies and kisses the head of me.bunny. But he couldn’t muster a smilie she was a wonderful Child. And she was amazing. But she wasn’t his he shouldn’t try to fsther her and boss her around. She was just his friend.
 
Isabelle glanced in the back mirror and pulled her gaze away, Lian was right she shouldn't have lied. It wasn't fair to him, or to Akira. But how on earth would she even tell him the truth? Could she even bring her guard down to do it? She sighed as they pulled into the parking lot.
Akira noticed the man's lack of enthusiasm and patted his head, "It's okay mister. No, be sad." Akira gave him a wide smile and handed her stuffed bunny to him. "Mr. bunny makes you feel better."
Isabelle parked the car and opened Akira's door to let her out, she glanced at Alex. "C-can I talk to you for a sec, when we get inside?"
 
Alex smilies at Akira. Faking it for her. “Alright sweety I will.” He gives the bunny a big tight hug. “You are very kind. That makes me happy never lose that ok?” He gives her a warm smilie.

He turns his dead and tired eyes to Isabella.
And tried to hold back that sigh he’d felt build up. “Shoot for it.”
 
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