Lucian Summers - Crimson Dutchman
Lucian wasn't quite expecting the various emotions he felt when Sylvia said that. Of course he'd known she was interested for a long time - he wasn't
that oblivious - but like the rest of his personal life he tended to set it aside to think about at a more convenient time which would probably never come. Now having to face it head on, he felt some strange combination of relief and apprehension. Lucian blew out a quiet breath and looked at the ground.
"Sylvia, I
kill people for my job. You might feel safe around me, but you're not. This line of work is dangerous for everyone involved, and I know you chose to be a part of it in the first place, but your job right now is still relatively safe in comparison. But the more you get involved with me, the more likely you are to get caught in the crossfire, and the damage you take probably won't just be from the bad guys." Lucian hesitated to say any more of what had been running through his mind all this time, but he forced himself to push on.
"In order for me to... do what I do, I've had to remove certain parts of my personality. So what you would need, love or affection, I don't think is even there anymore. That side of me is... broken."
Lucian couldn't bring himself to look at Sylvia after that, so he looked out at the stars instead, his jaw clenched. Getting the words out had felt like pulling teeth.