Fanfiction The Life of Shiki Tohno

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The Life of Shiki Tohno

Premise

Just a short while ago, Shiki Tohno was only a normal boy with just a quirk or two about him. If not for the vampires and demons that had abruptly entered his life at the age of 17, then it could be said that it was the Murder Games that had changed his life forever. One of the original survivors of the earliest recorded event, Shiki is a significant figure within the phenomena that later began known universally, labeled by the benevolent Coalition as one who had helped take down the Arch Demon, the original creator of the Murder Games that shook the multiverse, and labeled a "Progenitor" by the mysterious forces of evil that operate in the shadows that wish to use him for their own purposes.

After the events of The Ultimate Game and Right Hand of the Crimson Moon, Shiki Tohno, for all intents and purposes, has no more need to involve himself within the Murder Games, or the troubles that plague the rest of the multiverse. However, he is restless. He feels that somewhere out there, whether in this very world or not, he had left behind something. And with that, he sets out on a journey to essentially find himself, worrying that if he is unable to find what it is he seeks, then he cannot remain as he is in this world.

The story takes place over the span of just after Right Hand of the Crimson Moon to shortly after The War of the Universe, and acts as something of a prelude to Civil War, and thus, is canon to the Convergence Series. It was written from January 23, 2016 to June 6, 2016.

Table of Contents

Chapter 1 - The Life of Shiki Tohno

Chapter 2 - The Epiphany of Shiki Tohno

Chapter 3 - The Departure of Shiki Tohno

Chapter 4 - The Disappearance of Shiki Tohno

Chapter 5 - The Law of Shiki Tohno

Chapter 6 - The Hunt for Shiki Tohno

Chapter 7 - The Ideal of Shiki Tohno​

 

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Chapter 1 - The Life of Shiki Tohno

Spoiler

Tick.

Tock.

For perhaps the first time in a rather long time, Shiki Tohno's life was hit by the sense of normalcy.

Well, that was a little wrong. Even now, his life wasn't exactly normal compared to a normal person, and it never would be, but for someone like him, it was close enough. For once, he didn't have to wake up wondering if he would live through the day. For once, he wasn't constantly fighting for his life in a strange place he was unfamiliar with, surrounded by people he did not know very well.

Ah, yes. Even if Shiki's life had been normal before, which it wasn't, it seemed that anyone who came into contact with thatphenomena was doomed to some sort of cruel fate. And Shiki had met all sorts of cruel fates before. He was almost used to it all by now. Well, "almost" was the wrong word. After all, after everything that he had been through in recent, it seemed that the young man really could use a break.

But in his eyes, that was something he didn't deserve. A luxury that he had no right to have in his hands. Not after the things he had done.

He liked to believe he had done a lot to try to make up for what he had done in the past. Certainly, it wasn't exactly flattering to describe oneself as a wanton murderer with no right to keep going, but he kept going anyway. Because for every good person he had killed, he had killed two more bad people, right? Like Nrvnsqr Chaos, like Roa, like the Arch Demon...

And even if he did admit that he felt at peace after the Arch Demon Incident, otherwise known as the Ultimate Game Incident within the circles of the Mages' Association according to Sensei, it seemed to subside. Every time he attempted to obtain happiness, it always seem to snake its way out of his grasp. How annoying. Maybe being happy was something Shiki Tohno was not accustomed to being.

But he continued living.

Dying was too much of a pain, especially considering his mortality that loomed over him every day, passing by and wondering to itself if it was time to take him. But it was never time. In this regard, Shiki sometimes felt like life and death were laughing at him. He saw death every day, and death looked right back at him. Death was his torture that he endured every day, and yet, at the same time, it was a sweet release that would likely put an end to his suffering. A killer does not deserve to live. It was as simple as that.

However, the prolonged life of Shiki Tohno was torture. Perhaps the reason he kept living was because life was an even worse torture than death. Perhaps that was how he saw it. Who knows? Of course, Shiki had always been the kind of person who never minded dying. In that regard, he had always been seen as something of an oddball at school, and again, in that regard, that was why the only friends he had were other people who were considered oddballs, especially when it came to the topic of death, like Arihiko, Ciel, and... Yumizuka.

Shiki's heart dropped a little as his thoughts drifted to that girl. It haunted him so. Like a vengeful spirit that never relented on him. It--

"Oi, what are you doing standin' around? I didn't say you could go on break, did I?" The bespectacled woman that sat across from Shiki spoke in something of a harsh tone, causing the boy to blink and remember where he was. That was right. He was at "work" right now.

He didn't have time to be distracted by thoughts like these, but given what he was thinking about, the boss woman could make an exception, right? Wrong. This woman was a bona fide witch, in every sense of the word. Shiki was almost ready to take back every word he had said to Sensei back then about trying to forgive this woman, because she was crazy!

But she was also crazy powerful, so he kept quiet and just nodded.

"A-Ah, right. Sorry. Got a little distracted."

"If you have time to apologize and be distracted, you have time to work. Now get a move on," the woman known as Touko Aozaki simply responded, fiddling around with a cigarette in her fingers for a brief moment, before making use of the nearby ashtray.

In the meantime, Shiki continued working. Well, "work" in the context many people would think would imply there was a good pay or something involved, and Shiki often wondered if this sort of labor was worth the pay. The pay being the right to keep his Mystic Eye Killers. But then again, without those glasses, his eyes would kill him within a day, and though as mentioned before, Shiki didn't mind dying, he would personally much rather die to a more noble cause, rather than from something dumb like that.

As he moved around the room that he was in, the room being one of the many hideouts of Touko Aozaki where she operated, unloading boxes, opening them, taking whatever strange objects were inside and arranging them upon the shelves, Shiki continued to think to himself, pondering what he had done that had led him to this point in time. In that sense, work like this was relaxing and frustrating, as Shiki often had time to think to himself.

He hated thinking to himself, but he did it often anyway. Now, what was he thinking about again?

...

Ah, yes. Satsuki Yumizuka.

Where did one even start with her?

That girl.

That deceivingly benign smile that haunted Shiki's mind more than any crazed maniac's glare could ever.

Satsuki Yumizuka was Shiki Tohno's classmate. Was. Satsuki Yumizuka had a crush on him. Had. She loved him more than anyone in the world. Loved. And eventually, he came to love her as well. But it was all so short-lived, there was no point in opening up. It was useless for both of them.

Humans could never truly understand each other, no matter how hard they tried.

The same went for monsters.

Perhaps in that sense, that made monsters just as human as humans, as humans were easily capable of being as monstrous as monsters as well.

That thought was one that had popped into Shiki's head at least a year ago.

Ah... Has it really been a year since then?

Time sure flew.

For Shiki Tohno, the one who had murdered Satsuki Yumizuka, time really did fly.

It wasn't like he wanted to kill her.

Right?

Not even Shiki himself really knew the answer to that question at the end of the day, and oftentimes, he wondered if he ever would.

Liar.

The accusing voice. The word that stabbed through Shiki's heart. The word that pierced him deeper than any knife could.

It was a simple word, but it still hurt. Perhaps because no matter what, he could never bring himself to say that she was wrong.

The only person he ever confided in about this situation was Ciel, and though her help was appreciated, as she assured Shiki that he didn't do anything wrong, his doubts never went away. If they were to learn of the full context, most people would likely agree with Ciel as well, but Shiki never did disclose the details to anyone else. Not Arcueid, not Akiha, and not the maids. Just Ciel-senpai.

So then, the question remains; why did Shiki Tohno kill the one who was in love with him, Satsuki Yumizuka?

To others, the answer was simple, but to Shiki, it was complicated.

You promised to save me!

It all started when Shiki Tohno had the arrogance to make a promise that he could not fulfill. The promise that if she was ever in a pinch, he would rescue her. That was what she asked of him, and so he accepted, believing that nothing would go wrong so long as she was with him.

Like a knight in shining armor.

But Shiki was no knight. He was the dragon. He was the monster.

But then... wasn't Yumizuka a monster too? One could certainly say so, but it wasn't her fault. She didn't want to become a monster. She never asked to become one. She didn't deserve to become one.

Long story short, Michael Roa Valdamjong, or simply "Roa" for short, as a monster. He was an ancient vampire, hundreds of years old, in the same vein as Arcueid. He fed off blood, as expected of a vampire, and a year ago, he had terrorized Misaki Town, attacking and killing any unlucky person that would come his way, making the news as the strange serial killer known as the Modern Vampire. He had a very identifiable modus operandi. Serial killers today didn't go about and bite their victims on their neck, and even if they did, their teeth never left perfect holes like Roa's fangs did. The victims were never brutalized beforehand or anything. The only wounds they had were the puncture wounds in their neck, and with the blood drained from their bodies, they were as pale as ghosts. And that was an understatement. Of course, the media never did get the chance to showcase the killings in every detail. This was one that was better left censored. Even if just a little bit.

However.

One thing happened that not even Roa accounted for while he was out murdering.

When he had attacked Satsuki Yumizuka, she did not die. Rather, she became a vampire herself.

A blood-thirsty, murderous monster, just like Roa. It would have been better for her to die right there instead of being turned into that monster. At least then she wouldn't be able to hurt anyone. And at least then... At least then, it wouldn't hurt as much for Shiki to have to kill her himself to end the suffering she was causing, and the suffering that she was a victim to.

In that sense, one could even say that Shiki saved Yumizuka from herself. But he refused to see it like that. He absolutely refused to see it like he did anything good for her.

He always wondered why she looked up to a dirtbag like him.

It all began when... Um, I'm sure you probably don't remember but... Back in middle school, I was cleaning up for the gym with some of the others, and we were putting some of the equipment back in the shed.

How cliche. He knew perfectly well, but it was stupid. It was too convenient.

Then again, even before she had become a vampire, Yumizuka was also an oddball. That fact could be proven just with the fact that she was infatuated with someone like Shiki.

It was then that someone came over and, thinking that the door was left open with no one inside, accidentally locked us in, trapping us. And then... you came along out of nowhere and broke the lock somehow. Don't you remember that?

If only he hadn't tried to be the big hero back then... Maybe she'd still be alive.

It was all just a mistake.

Because the more he tried to be a hero, the more he ended up as the villain in his own eyes.

So what if she was trying to kill him first? She could have been saved if he were stronger.

So what if she had become a bloodthirsty monster? She could have been saved if he were stronger.

She could have been saved if he were stronger.

This was the firm belief that Shiki Tohno held onto stubbornly. He stubbornly believed that no matter the explanation, taking a life was unforgivable. He wondered how Yumizuka's parents were doing? How her friends were doing. If they ever found out about what he had done... Could they ever forgive him? Well, not that it would matter much either way.

A person who could never forgive himself could not be expected to register the mercy of others, after all.

It was an ironically cruel fate. She had spent her whole life trying to get him to notice her, and only now that she was dead did she succeed in her objective. Now, it was almost like she was the only person Shiki could think about. Her death haunted him so much that he had repressed that memory from his mind for a long time, and in that timeframe, he had buried away the very memory of her name as well, but not her face. That could never be wiped away.

He had paid for his continued arrogance, his gall to dare to forget his sins, by falling in love again. But Mikasa Ackerman was a different story. One that he had made peace with a long time ago. But the fact remained that the Murder Games had changed everything. They--

"H-Hey, Shiki-kun?" Satsuki Yumizuka piped in, shaking Shiki out of his thoughts, "Those flasks and beakers are for the rune developing, not the Starmine thaumaturgy, so... Ahm, I think they go there," she said somewhat shyly, the deceivingly pure smile giving Shiki a sense of dreadful nostalgia.

Ah, that was right. What was he thinking? With a nod, he leaned over and grabbed the flasks and beakers from the shelves, intentionally not looking at the girl behind him.

"Right. Sorry, my mistake..." Shiki simply murmured lowly in response, taking the objects that he had put in the wrong place and moving over to the right place. Damn. If he was gonna think more about this, he was gonna go crazy at this point.

Granted, he was technically already crazy, but technicalities, technicalities.

He didn't want to look at the other individual in the room known as Satsuki Yumizuka. It was bad enough that he had already been thinking about her beforehand.

But what the heck? One might think to themselves as they read this story. Isn't Yumizuka dead? How is she standing there in the room with Shiki and Touko right now? Was she a...?

Well, yes and no. Assuming that the question the reader might be asking is "Is she a ghost? A spirit? Something of the sort?" But... one step at a time. We haven't reached that part of the story just yet.

"Aha, you're so silly, Shiki-kun! How could you ever confuse those two sections for each other?!"

Now... Where were we?

Oh, right.

Things had a funny way of working out. In one light, one could argue that in order to take a step further on the path of happiness, Shiki had to endure even more despair before long.

After he had killed Yumizuka, he was a complete wreck. It felt like he had died along with her, but unfortunately, he was still living. And nothing was the same for him ever again after that.

Even those who never knew the full extent of the scenario could feel something change in him.

Even after he had subsequently killed Roa for good and saved Misaki Town from his wrath, he still felt empty. He had saved an entire town, but lost his girlfriend in the process. And truth be told, if there was a scenario where letting Roa lived meant that Yumizuka got to live peacefully too, then Shiki wondered... Would he be willing to let the entire town die for her?

And if so... How likely was it that he would be happier that way in contrast to how things turned out at the time?

Then again, maybe that was just the other guy thinking. Shiki Nanaya was never the nicest of people anyway, but he wasn't the main focus right now.

Now, moving on.

It was almost funny. The first time he had failed to save someone, that someone being Yumizuka in this case, he had fallen into despair. And when he had dared to forget about that, when he had dared to fall in love again, this time with a young woman of only fifteen or sixteen years, but as mature as an adult, from another world known as Mikasa Ackerman, he had been met with the same fate.

Well, not exactly. For one, he wasn't the one directly responsible for her death, but it could still have been prevented. If only he was stronger. For the second time in astonishingly only a year, Shiki had failed to protect someone he loved because he wasn't strong enough.

Except this time, he took this opportunity to grow stronger.

He vowed that he would not be broken by this fate, but rather, he would use it as an opportunity to grow stronger. But what was he ever talking about? That sort of hypocritical talk only ended up digging Shiki into a deeper hole of despair, little did he know. As the more he talked of growing stronger and facing his problems, the more he gravitated away from Yumizuka. The more he dared to forget about her, and he didn't even know it.

Until he was forced to face her again.

All that talk of becoming stronger... And it was still not enough. For he was still scared of Yumizuka. Even when she was like this.

Some time after the Arch Demon Incident, another evil popped up in the form of Fiamma of the Right, who used his powers to bring to life some ancient vampire called Night of Wallachia. One of the more powerful Dead Apostle Ancestors, Wallachia had a powerful Reality Marble on his side called TATARI, which was able to manifest the deepest fears of everyone in town. Shiki, a fearful young man, was exposed to many fears, and thus, many manifestations were created.

One was the spirit of a man named Kouma Kishima, though in this very moment, Shiki did not know of the spirit's existence, though he continues to lurk around town today. No... the only spirit that Shiki does know about is Satsuki Yumizuka. One would think that because the TATARI fed off fear, the spirit of Satsuki Yumizuka would be a vengeful one that would take advantage of his fear... But no. It was just like she had been genuinely resurrected, complete with restored memories and personality.

That was the Satsuki Yumizuka that stood here in this room. A ghost.

But one had to wonder... Night of Wallachia died during the Fiamma Incident. So therefore, his creations should be dead as well, right? One had to wonder how Yumizuka's spirit continued to remain in this world. That was a question Shiki Tohno wondered for a long time.

Why won't she just go away already...

She was so chipper and happy to see him again, it was like a bad joke. Her happiness had to be a lie. This was the only way, he thought. Why would a spirit hanging around Shiki act like everything was normal and fine? Like they could go back to how things were again instead of her haunting him for what he had done to her? Was this her strategy?

Was this her way of getting back at him?

Because if so, it was certainly working. Who would have known that saying nothing at all would be worse than saying "You did this to me!" and "Look at what you've done to me!" and so on?

How long will it be until she pays me back for what I've done to her?

Certainly not him.

I'm sick of waiting to get what's coming to me.

"Alright, that's it for today. I'll handle the rest," Touko suddenly said, causing Shiki to blink back to reality. What was she talking about? There was still some stuff that needed to be unloaded...

"Huh? Uh... A-Are you sure?"

"Did I stutter?"

"N-No, ma'am!"

"That's what I thought," Touko sighed in irritation, finishing up her smoke, "Tell me, kid, what's gotten into you today? You've been half-assing your work. I don't pay for half-assed work."

"Ah, sorry... It's just... I've been thinking about things. Yumizuka and... y'know..." There was no use in lying to Touko. Like most women, she was a natural mind reader of men. He couldn't snake his way around her, so he may as well tell her what she wanted to hear.

"That's dangerous, y'know."

"What, her?"

"No, thinking."

"... I see."

"Heh, don't give me that look," Touko simply chuckled when Shiki provided a deadpan expression in response to her snark, "Am I wrong? After all, with your kind of eyes, your brain probably spends more time trying to withstand processing death than it does with your normal thoughts."

"That's what the glasses are for."

"Yep. And that's why most people with the Mystic Eyes of Death Perception don't live very long. Your clock is ticking, kid, so tell me... Why do you keep going?"

"Nihilism isn't a healthy train of thought."

"Says you."

"Says people who would figure they may as well get the most out of life while they can," Shiki grunted, "Why waste time whining about how pointless life is when you could use that time to find a point to it all? It just seems really counter-productive in my eyes."

"Not as counter-productive as whining about why the ghost of a girl won't go away instead of confronting it?" Touko remarked knowingly. As mentioned before, she was like a mind reader. All Shiki needed to do was mention Yumizuka's name and Touko was already in his head.

She really was a goddamn witch.

...

"... Low blow."

"Maybe, but it certainly got your attention, didn't it?" The woman replied playfully, in stark contrast to Shiki's more comparatively serious demeanor.

"What do you want my attention for then, huh? I'm right here," Shiki said, sighing as he would turn around and lean against Touko's desk, looking at Yumizuka from afar.

Several meters away from Shiki and Touko, Yumizuka was just on the other side of the room, blissfully unaware that there was a conversation going on about her right now. Cleaning up the place, she hummed a nice tune to herself. That kind of happiness that Shiki once thought he could have had with Yumizuka...

Why did it still exist?

"Well, I don't really care that much about you yourself, but if whatever you're going through is causing you to half-ass your work, I may as well see what I can do to make it so that you're putting in whole-ass work," Touko responded to Shiki, leaning back in her chair, "So... Lemme guess. You're wondering why it's taking so goddamn long for her to disappear, huh? Even after the Night of Wallachia was put to an end, the vampire that created this ghost, she's still hanging around just fine. That doesn't make any sense, you think. It's like fate is conspiring to put me through as much pain as possible, you exclaim!"

"Please stop teasing me."

"Boo, you're no fun," she sighed, "Anyway... I don't really know for sure either, but... Tell ya what. You know why ghosts exist in the first place, right? At least, according to normal people."

"How do you mean?"

"They say that when a ghost is around, it's because there's still something they still wanna resolve. There's still one last wish they want to fulfill before they could possibly move on from this world."

Aha.

That was it? The grand answer Shiki was looking for?

"Give me a break," Shiki mumbled, crossing his arms, "What's there for her to fulfill? I'm right here. If she wanted to say or do something, she'd have done it by now," he said, continuing to look straight at the oblivious Yumizuka in the distance, "No, she... she's just out to get me, isn't she?"

"Maybe the reason she hasn't approached you is because she's waiting for you to approach her," Touko suggested, causing Shiki's eyes to widen a little in surprise, as though that were something that he had completely neglected to consider.

"Me...?"

"If you don't at least try to make amends, how do you ever expect to move on, kid? Take it from me, the woman who steals from her little sis instead of ending the feud and being in a never-ending cycle of resentment. Is that how you wanna end up?"

"No, but... What do I talk to her about? Are you saying that once I approach her, she'll just... be ready to leave?"

"I never promised anything, but there's tons of factors you gotta consider. You act so certain, but are you sure you really want her to disappear? You should at least consider the following..."

...

"... You should at least think about the real reason why you want to talk to her, if you want to talk to her at all. And then there's the question... Will you realize it in time? Will you realize what you have to do in time?"

"What I... have to do..."

"I can't make you realize what you have to do. That's all on you. You have to decide for yourself what you want. It's your life, after all. Nobody else has the right to decide what you should do and think."

Shiki silently continued to look at Yumizuka.

Did he really want the girl to leave? The first girl he ever loved...

And if so, would it be for the right reasons?

I wonder if I'll realize it in time too...

Touko Aozaki was right about a lot of things.

At this time, Shiki would never realize how much his life was about to change soon.

 

[Ver]

Chapter 2 - The Epiphany of Shiki Tohno

Spoiler

Sometimes, Shiki wondered what this place was supposed to be.

Was this an old run-down shack? An unfinished house? The question honestly did kill him a little sometimes, but whenever he'd ask Touko, the puppet maker would give some answer that would make the bespectacled young man regret asking a little. In fact, the last time he had asked, Touko simply gave him a smirk, a wink, and a playful "You ever notice that the only piece of furniture in that room is a bed?"

He wasn't about to link that to the bed being a little slimy the first time he had gone here. The first time he had traveled to this place that was Touko Aozaki's new makeshift workshop. Maybe there were just some secrets that man was never meant to discover.

But on a more serious note, if there was something that Shiki had to discover, it was Yumizuka's wish. Shiki still thought it was a little stupid that his best bet was a myth made by people who had probably never seen a real ghost before, but if someone like Touko was suggesting it... Then he had no other choice. This was his objective. His priority. If he wanted the spirit of the girl he once loved to stop haunting him, then this was the only thing he should have on his mind.

And here he was, sitting on his ass, feeling like the biggest idiot in the world, for instead thinking about what this run-down shack of a workshop was supposed to be when it was being built.

But the more he kept dragging this out, the more he continued to lose his grasp on time.

With that being said, it had already been a few days ever since Shiki had had that talk with Touko over what Yumizuka's wish could possibly be. Was there ever anything she aspired for in her life? Nothing that Shiki could remember. And right now, he was remembering much more than he was comfortable with, considering that her resurgence had opened up a whole box of memories that the boy had worked hard to lock away, possibly for the rest of his life if left unattended to.

He remembered her face. Her name. Her smile. Her voice.

But not what she wanted.

He remembered his first date with her. Her laugh. Her smell. Her enthusiasm.

But not what she wanted from him.

He even remembered the time that they had made love. Her touch. Her warmth. Her expression.

But not what she wanted from him so badly that she still yearned for it, even after death.

Tch, this was annoying. This was frustrating. At this rate, this feeling of irritation was going to kill him faster than his Mystic Eyes would. What could a girl like that possibly want from him? He had given her everything back then. His love, his body, his being... What more was there to give?

What did she want?! What did she fucking wa--

"Uwaaah! Watch out!"

Speak of the devil, and she shall appear.

From above, from behind, what seemed to be moderately soft objects would hit the back of Shiki's head. If this were Shiki of the past, he probably would have yelped in surprise, rubbed the back of his head, chuckled lightly, and asked them to be more careful... But of course, things change. And with those things changed the people around them much more drastically.

The training that Sensei provided him after the Crossed Incident made him more tolerant of pain. To an extent, it was almost as though it was harder for him to physically react to things. For instance, back then, if someone of the same weight as him were to casually try to shove him, he probably would have let himself be pushed back, but nowadays, if someone were to try to push him, they would find themselves being the ones pushed back. In that regard, the cardboard boxes that hit the back of Shiki's head may as well have hit a statue, considering Shiki's lack of response to them.

He simply gave something of an irritated look, deliberately continuing to look away from Yumizuka's direction.

"A-Ah! I'm so sorry, Shiki-kun! I accidentally dropped those boxes on you! I didn't even know you were there!"

"... It's fine," Shiki sighed, deliberately remaining curt and brief with the girl, "Just don't let it happen again."

"R-Right. Sorry," the spirit of the girl known as Satsuki Yumizuka said, gathering the boxes that she had dropped and opening them up, doing whatever with them. Shiki didn't care enough to look. At least, that's what he told himself anyway.

"Oh, by the way, Shiki-kun... What exactly are you still doing here? Didn't Ms. Touko say that was enough for the day for you?"

...

Initially, Shiki didn't reply. She was correct. Lately, Touko had been dismissing Shiki earlier than when he used to be off, as if hoping that he would use this extra time off to think over what Yumizuka's wish was supposed to be. But today, Shiki stayed at the workshop for a few more minutes, if only to think. Because once he'd start walking, he'd start thinking about other things inevitably. Like what this old workshop was supposed to be when it was being built of course, to use a familiar example.

Either way, what was he supposed to say? Perhaps the truth? That he stayed here to think about what would make her go away? No. Well... maybe. If he did want to say that, he definitely wouldn't word it like that. It'd probably be counter-productive. Then a lie? A little fib? What, maybe that he was lazy and would start walking home later when he wasn't feeling so lazy?

"Well, yeah, that's true..."

Hmm, if nothing else...

"... But it's just that I..."

... As painful as it might be...

"... was waiting for you."

... He'd have to talk to her about it if he couldn't figure out her wish by himself.

"Eh? Me? What do you need from me, Shiki-kun?"

Sometimes, the hardest things to do was really just the simplest of gestures. This was one of those cases. With all of his willpower, moving against what his body, mind, and soul wanted to do, Shiki Tohno did something that he had tried very hard to deliberately avoid doing.

He looked straight at Satsuki Yumizuka.

"Well, I was just wondering... Could we just... talk for a bit?"

---

The cold evening of Misaki Town was admittedly nowhere near as unnerving and terrifying as it once was, though many would say that that was a good thing. Ever since the disappearance of the feared serial killer known as the Modern Vampire (courtesy of Shiki himself, of course), as well as a number of other monsters that stalked the night streets, it felt like the town was... slightly more at ease.

But for every monster that he had killed in his town to preserve its safe, rural feeling, it had all been undone for him on the night he had killed Yumizuka.

Speaking of which, wasn't that exactly why he was out here, walking alongside her in this fine night with the full moon out? So he could bring back that feeling of comfort? Maybe even closure?

...

Hmph. Maybe he was only out here because the moon was just that nice. Shiki was never a big "moon admirer" or anything, but he had to give credit where credit was due. Besides, the more he thought about how pretty the moon was, the more comfy he'd get with Arcueid, and though she could be annoying... a lot, she was still someone whom Shiki trusted.

But Arcueid wasn't the one whom reminded Shiki the most about when it came to the moon. No, that honor was to the girl that he had fallen in love with after Yumizuka had died. One Mikasa Ackerman who supported him after the end of the Crossed Incident.

"The moon still looks beautiful... and it always will."

The words imbued him with a strong sense of nostalgia that almost made Shiki nauseous. Hard to believe it had been a year. A year for him, at least. Maybe a year and a half to be exact. Shit, it felt like even longer than that. Then again, time was such an easy thing to lose track of these days. At this rate, he was going to forget how old he was, and before he'd know it, he'd be 20 and still unsure of what to do in life.

Then again, if he were to die here, he'd at least be able to say "Hey, yeah. I helped kill tons of demons that would have otherwise terrorized innocent people." Yeah. All sorts of demons like Nrvsnqr Chaos, Roa, the Arch Demon, and...

Ah, yes. That's right. How could he forget? Once again, he had forgotten what the real reason for him being out here was. He let his mind wander off again. He let himself try to forget about his situation.

But there was no more running away, was there?

Right now, the mere thought of dying just to get away from this situation would be nothing but a display of cowardice of the highest order. He would be betraying his promise to Mikasa. He would be betraying his promise that he would no longer run away from his problems. He would be betraying his promise that he would confront the obstacles that lie before him in hopes of rising stronger than ever for every time that he would be struck down and forced to his knees.

Shiki Tohno was done breaking promises.

"So... Shiki-kun, you said you wanted to talk about something?"

Shiki had asked Yumizuka to come along with him for a walk. Seeing as how she appeared to be... still infatuated with him enough to happily agree to it, there was no problem at all in getting her consent. If anything, it was like Shiki was the one acting against his own will.

The two of them had walked together silently (and somewhat awkwardly, at least from the boy's point of view), Shiki keeping his hands in his pockets as he attempted to play it cool. But of course, the only person he was assuring that everything was going to be okay was himself. Yumizuka was blissfully unaware of the turmoil going on in his head. Goddammit, this was just like their first date.

He remembered that all too well. He remembered both of them laughing bashfully when it turned out both of them arrived at the destination at the same time, five minutes later than the promised time. He remembered the cheap lunch at the local burger joint that was surprisingly enjoyable, if only for Yumizuka's company, and he remembered wondering why he only had enough money to afford this kind of place when he lived in a mansion with two personal maids. He remembered the dumb horror movie they watched together that was hardly scary at all for Shiki, the cheap effects and hammy acting hardly convincing him anything was scary, while Yumizuka held tightly to his arm with a whimpering expression on her face.

And the girl standing right next to Shiki Tohno right now also remembered all that. Didn't she?

"Ah... yeah. We have... a lot to talk about," Shiki replied in an uncomfortable manner, resisting the urge to pull at his collar as the two of them would walk into Misaki Park. This place just kept bringing back many memories for Shiki, but he couldn't afford to be side-tracked. Not again.

Taking a brief pause, Shiki sat down on the bench, letting out a small sigh as he did so. Yumizuka followed suit, sitting next to him. Her legs dangled below as she looked up at the night sky.

"So... What did you want to talk to me about?"

Shiki pursed his lips a bit, almost biting them. Millions of thoughts raced through his head concerning this predicament he found himself in. What did he want to talk about? Where was he going to begin? Why was she being so nonchalant about this? Was she being like this on purpose? Tormenting him? Playing coy? Trying to get him to recall everything?

Tch.

Let's just start with the basics.

"Yumizuka... Ah, look... When you were alive, did you... ever want anything out of life?" He asked bluntly, getting straight to the point and almost immediately regretting it.

Fortunately, Yumizuka didn't seem offended or hurt by the reminder that she was, in fact, dead. She simply gave him a curious look and a slight tilt of the head in response, followed by a quizzical "Eh?" before thinking to ponder his question, and think about her answer.

This was going to be a long night.

"Mmm... Well, why do you ask?"

"Just tell me," he replied curtly.

Beat.

"So pushy..." Yumizuka huffed with a small pout, before continuing to think, "Hmph, that's such a strange question, Shiki-kun. There were plenty of things I wanted back then. The chance to go on a second date with you. The chance to see what finally happened in the last episode of this show I was following. The chance to share that banana sundae that we couldn't get on our first date... I don't think I could begin to start," she said with a small, almost self-deprecating giggle.

He hated it.

But not as much as he hated that distant smile she gave next.

"Truth be told... The only thing I ever truly wanted out of life was to be with you. And then it happened. You made me the happiest girl in the world by returning my love. I couldn't ask for any more than that."

That was a lie.

That couldn't be anything other than a cold lie.

Why was she doing this? Was she deliberately lying because she knew that if he found out what she really wanted, then she'd disappear? She wanted to prolong her time on this Earth for much as possible. If she was doing this on purpose, was said purpose so that she could hurt him as much as possible?

This goddamn vengeful spirit wanted to stick around for as long as she could to inflict pain upon him! That was the only conclusion!

"Don't... Don't bullshit me."

"E-Eh? Shiki-kun, what are you--?"

"Don't bullshit me!!" Shiki yelled out of the blue, pent up emotions of anger, resentment, and despair being let out, built up for God knows how long, "If that was true, then why are you still here?! If all you ever wanted from me was my love, then why aren't you gone already?! Why won't you just leave me alone then?!"

"S-Shiki-kun..."

"I'm sorry, alright?! I... I didn't mean to kill you, alright?! I didn't EVER want to have to kill you! I wanted to protect you, but I just wasn't strong enough, alright?!" He practically screamed at the top of his lungs, hot tears threatening to appear,"If you're here to punish me for not saving you, then get on with it already! Shit, you don't even need to! If your wish was to see me suffer, then here you go!"

A breath. A click of the tongue.

"What was I doing all this time?! I don't even know myself! But I know one thing! I suffered... for every day for God knows how long after I killed you! I wanted to die! I wanted to kill myself over and over and over and over again! The only way I couldpossibly function again was if I forgot about you! So I did, alright?! I forgot all about it! Do you resent me for that, Yumizuka?! Are you reprimanding me for being a coward who ran away?! Because let me tell you one thing, I never ran away because I wanted to! If there was some way I knew past all the pain, some path that I knew I could take to reach for you, then I would have taken it in a heartbeat! You think I forgot about you so easily? No! I didn't just forget about you in a day, a week, whatever. It was a whole month of agonizing until I believed I could smile again, even if it was a fake one! You didn't think it bothered me?! Of course it bothered me! Of course it bothered me!! I was such a goddamn, fucking idiot because even I didn't realize how much it bothered me! I was trying to move on! I wanted to forget! And for a year, I thought I did! And then you came along and made me realize what a fucking coward I am! I get it! I FUCKING GET IT ALREADY! So you know what?! You're too late to make me suffer any more than I already have! So tell me! Tell me already! What's your wish?! What's the wish I can fulfill for you so you can leave me alone already?!"

The pain.

The self-hatred.

The resentment.

The fear.

It was all coming out now.

Shiki Tohno let his emotions pour out without restraint for the first time in a long time.

Or perhaps... Was it the first time in his life that he had talked like this?

Yumizuka could only stare on in as all sorts of emotions ran through her. Surprise. Shock. Worry. Sadness. Several similar sides of identical coins. Eventually, she looked down, her hands on her legs, wondering what to say.

But the only thing she could do...

... was smile.

For once, Shiki could not tell himself that it was a deceivingly benign smile.

But for once, as much as he hated it, a smile that was genuine. And he didn't know the reason.

"... Why? How can you just...?"

"Shiki-kun... Tell me, are you happy?"

"What? What are you...?!"

A hug.

A simple gesture that came out of nowhere. A simple gesture that had far more impact than Shiki could possibly anticipate.

Though things like spirits were supposed to be incorporeal, Yumizuka hugged Shiki. And he could feel the warmth from her as though she were really alive again.

Shit, this wasn't funny anymore. Fate had a bad habit of having him reunite with illusions of his dead lovers, didn't it? This was... annoying.

"You say that you were really sad... That you wanted to die, that you wanted to kill yourself. But you're still alive today, right? That must mean you found your hope somewhere. That must mean you gained the ability to be happy again and move on, right?"

"What...?"

"Shiki-kun... I never wanted you to suffer. It was... my own fault."

"I-Idiot. How could you say that after I--"

"But even so... I always wanted you to be happy no matter what. Above anything else, I wanted to make sure that you could live happily in this world, as close to death as you always were."

"..."

How could she... really say such things?

How could she tell him that she wished him the best after all that he had told himself? The walls that he had built for himself to believe that all she wanted was for him to die with her?

How could she so easily destroy the delusion that Shiki built up?

"So tell me... Despite the past, were you able to ever be happy, Shiki-kun?"

Well.

Was he?

He never really put any thought into it. Was he happy? How long had he been happy and not even realized it? Did he even have the right to feel this way?

Perhaps not, and if he didn't dare to be happy... then in that case, let's reword it.

When did he get his hope back?

After Yumizuka died, he had lost his hope. His smile and optimism were erased and died away with the girl he once loved. It was then that they began. The Murder Games. And as he was brought into the first of many, having blissfully, arrogantly forgotten about Yumizuka, he had dared to fall in love again. When he had dared to fall in love with Mikasa.

It was then, that he had forgotten he had lost his hope, that he believed he still had his hope.

The Crossed Incident was like the beginning of a cycle of deja vu, and the eventual Shibuya Incident was the realization of that deja vu. When Mikasa died there, however, one thing was different. When Shiki was expected to have lost his hope, it had actually sparked brighter than ever. Something noted by the White Princess of the True Ancestors herself.

Shiki had grown stronger than ever. How ironic that he would grow stronger after suffering from an incident he had suffered before that, in turn, had destroyed him.

And so he continued fighting for what he believed in. He continuously thought "If I could look back on my life and be proud of my accomplishments, then I can die happily." But that was limited to what he remembered. He didn't account for what he had forgotten and left behind. Even so, he continued fighting. With the help of others, he defeated the first Claire Redfield, the Traitor who had escaped from the chaos of the Crossed Incident. With the help of the others, Albert Wesker was defeated. And with the help of others, the Arch Demon was defeated. And though the Murder Games were being continued through the work of others, at least Mikasa could rest easy now that the one who had directly made her suffer so was gone.

And even so, he would continue fighting for her sake.

He was at peace.

"... Yeah."

So yes.

"I guess I was."

Though Shiki wondered if he could ever truly be happy again, he achieved a feeling that was close enough to it.

"That's good. That's good to hear, Shiki-kun... I'm glad you were able to be happy again. Seeing you suffer was the last thing on my mind," Yumizuka whispered, her arms still wrapped tightly around Shiki.

And then something began to happen.

She began to fade away.

After all, ghosts did that. Ghosts disappeared after their wish was fulfilled.

That was when it hit him.

"Y-Yumizuka... You..."

"The only thing I ever wanted, Shiki-kun... was for you to be happy."

Wait.

Stop.

"This... This is what you really...?!"

Stop stop stop.

Please, stop! I... I changed my mind!

No more.

I don't want her to go away anymore! I want her to stay with me!!

"Yeah... This was my wish. It was all I ever wanted. Your happiness."

"Idiot... You goddamn idiot! I... I lied, okay?! How could I possibly ever be happy without you?!"

"Please don't say such selfish things, Shiki-kun... Even with those big glasses, you can be so blind sometimes, can't you? You just told me you were still able to move on and forgive yourself, right?" She said with a small giggle as her body began to disappear, everything from below her waist already gone, "You're an even kinder person than you give yourself credit for. So please... Continue living your life. The world won't stay still just for you. It'll keep moving, and you have to keep up. You can't stay there, waiting for someone like me, who's already gone..."

"Yumizuka, I..."

I...

What did he want to say? He wanted to say so many things, but his throat was so stuffed with words and things he wanted to tell her that it was like they all fought against each other, crammed in him. He wanted to choke on his words, but he couldn't even do that.

And then.

Yumizuka let go as her body continued to disappear. Yet one thing the one thing that never disappeared was her smile.

"I love you, Shiki... I'll always love you. Forever. So... bye bye. And... Sorry."

"A-Ah... Ahh..."

And just like that, once again, Satsuki Yumizuka disappeared from his arms.

Once again, for the second and perhaps last time, she was gone from this world now.

His hands still shaking, Shiki Tohno could only sit there, alone on the bench, still attempting to process what had just happened. Everything he had told himself for a year was a lie. All this time... Yumizuka never hated him? Even after she had died by his hand, she never found it in her heart to resent him for that?

Even after he had broken his promise to save her no matter what?

Ah, unless... By killing her, he saved her from the miserable fate of living as a vampire. Was that really it? Was that all?

The answer was staring at him in the eye all this time and he never realized.

"Ahh... Aha... Aahhhhhhh! Dammit! Goddammit! I'm such an idiot!"

Why didn't he see it before? Was it because if he thought that, it would have been arrogant? Selfish? He needed to hear it from her?

"Arrrgh!"

He agonized over this. It was so simple! It was so easy! He was the biggest idiot in the world! A thousand times more dense than Arcueid! A billion times more of a doofus than Arihiko was! He was the worst. Just the worst.

Shiki was so angry with himself that he hit his head on the wooden bench.

Months from now, people wondered why there was a sudden hole in the local bench of Misaki Park.

---

"..."

Though Akiha Tohno was not Shiki's sister by blood, it mattered little to both of them. Shiki loved Akiha like a little sister, and Akiha loved him back as a brother. Well, a little more than that, but... Anyway.

She noticed that he had been staying out later than usual. Though she didn't really know the details, he had said it had something to do with the Mage's Association, so that was out of Akiha's control. Though she might be the head of the Tohno Family after the recent death of Makihisa Tohno, she was still a young girl. It didn't help that the Tohno Family itself had a... troubled history with the Demon Hunter Organization, and while that organization wasn't the closest with either the Holy Church or the Mage's Association, the Tohno's past gave them a reputation as being... less than friendly.

But that was all besides the point.

The point was that if the Association was involved, then there was little Akiha could do to butt into Shiki's life. But even so, she kept on waiting for him. Tonight, he was especially later than usual. Akiha was beginning to grow worried. Did he get lost? Was he attacked? Oh, dear. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. That would all be bad. Maybe she should go look for him. Times like these, she wished she'd really bought him a cell phone. He really could be hopeless like that sometimes. So--

Creeaak.

Suddenly, before Akiha could finish her thoughts, a familiar figure walked into the Tohno Mansion.

Shiki Tohno's eyes were wet with tears. His legs were weak and shaking, as though he had walked a great distance. He raised his head and looked at Akiha, who had been sitting on the bottom step of the stairs leading to the upper corridor all this time. While Shiki seemed to give a look that indicated he was too tired to be surprised, Akiha was the one who had all the surprise for him.

The condition he was in... It didn't look like he was attacked or anything, but there was something about him that was... different. Again. It worried Akiha even more than when he was absent. She couldn't bring himself to be angry at him for being later.

What had...

"Nii-san... What happened to you?"

...

Shiki didn't reply at first. He simply lumbered silently into the mansion, closing the doors with one hand. And then... before long, he had suddenly fallen to his knees with a thump, causing Akiha to gasp and bolt to her feet.

"Nii-san?!"

"Akiha, I..."

Akiha rushed over to Shiki's side, kneeling down and attempting to help him up. Shiki's eyes almost looked different. It was like they were dead... or rather...

They were more alive than ever before.

With tears continuing to run down his cheeks, Shiki looked at his sister square in the face and genuinely smiled for the first time in ages.

"I finally found my hope again, Akiha."

 

[Ver]

Chapter 3 - The Departure of Shiki Tohno

Spoiler

Tohno Manor sat atop the hill on the other side of Misaki Town. Oftentimes, outsiders believed it was some sort of haunted manor, and thus, sometimes the place would be visited by curious kids, most of them daredevils who believed it to be a ghost-ridden mansion, only to be surprised when it would turn out that it was actually a functioning, carefully maintained place that had people living there. Shiki always wondered what the deal with that was, but Akiha, Hisui, and Kohaku all seemed used to it, so he never said anything.

...

Still, it did kill him sometimes when he wondered... What, did no one notice when the majority of the Tohno family were all stuffed in here? Surely, after the death of Makihisa Tohno, Akiha's late father, someone would have noticed the entire family moving out simultaneously when Akiha would kick them all out as the new head of the family, before inviting Shiki to come back home?

Bah, whatever. This place had always been a sleepy town, and besides, who was to say some Mystic Eyes of Charm or something were used in the matter?

But either way, that was frankly none of Shiki's business, in his humble opinion. Beloved brother of the head he might be, but the fact remained that he was... not truly family. At least, by blood. Despite how much Akiha would insist that it didn't matter that they weren't related by blood, and how she loved him all the same regardless, he'd never forget the memories of first being introduced into the family at a young age, and trying his best to actively ignore the confused, judging stares of the rest of the faceless family.

Jeez... Even back then, he was looked upon as an outsider, huh? Well, at least he made friends with the other children from back then. Like Akiha, Hisui, Kohaku... and of course, the other SHIKI.

Oh. Hmm.

The sooner I forget about that guy, the better off I am, Shiki thought to himself with a sigh, leaning back a bit as he sat on the edge of the fountain just outside the mansion, Who would have thought that a guy like him, who was already crazy out of his mind, would be the host of Roa...

It was like evil multiplied by two.

Sigh. At least that guy was gone now. He was in a place where he wouldn't be able to hurt anyone ever again.

It was times like these where Shiki tended to just sit around, thinking about nothing in particular. Just... reflecting on his life. Depending on who asked, he either did that too often or not often enough. In the past, he had been living in the present, and now in the present, he was living in the past. How amusing. Hopefully, come the future, he'd be focused on creating the future as he went along.

Still, in the days that had passed ever since Shiki had, in his own words, found his hope again, the others had noted among themselves his strange new habit of just... staring at nothing, thinking about nothing. He was almost unresponsive whenever he'd just think, like he was sleeping with his eyes open, and wouldn't "wake up" until he was addressed to. Though he was encouraged to, Shiki didn't really make an active effort to stop it. After all, thinking was something an idiot like him needed to do more often. And he had a lot to think about.

"So what is it that you're thinking about now?"

Having appeared behind Shiki, Akiha Tohno made her appearance, much to the surprise of her older brother, who had been startled by the suddenness of her arrival.

Akiha wasn't exactly as opposed to Shiki's chronic thinking fits as Hisui and Kohaku were, as she was often curious about what he was thinking about, but most of the time, the answers that would come her way were unsatisfactory, whether because they were too deliberately vague or because there wasn't an answer at all, and Shiki's response would instead be a redirect like "Oh... Nothing. So how's dinner coming along?" or something stupid like that. She knew that he was hiding something from her, but... it was the kind of thing where no matter how much she'd push, the truth would never come out, so she didn't persist very much.

After all, this generation of the Tohno were known for their stubbornness, and for once, the man won out.


"Ah. Hi, Akiha," Shiki greeted, offering a wave as his younger sister would take a seat next to him on the fountain, the sounds of early bird chirping filling the air and making for a more peaceful background than the old dark, dead, cold mien that he was used to, "I was just... thinking about nothing. As usual."

Well, that was kind of a lie, but at the same time, it was sort of the truth as well.

That was what annoyed Akiha quite a bit.

"Just like the last time then, hmm?"

It hurt her. A lot.

"Yeah, I guess so. I guess I've become a little more airheaded than usual, embarrassingly enough," Shiki said with a small, sheepish laugh, scratching the back of his head a little.

Knowing that he was... somewhere else.

"Hmm. And what event might have caused you to become like this, Nii-san? After all, you'll have to come back to us, or else your... airheadedness will begin to reflect on your grades. Your attendance rate has already suffered quite a bit due to your... unexplained absences, and if you keep this up, you'll have to repeat your final year of high school, and it would be quite unheard of to have to wait until next year for Graduation."

Knowing that... he was somewhere that she could not reach.

"To be honest... I can't really say," Shiki said, his legs dangling as he would look up at the afternoon sky, "Though I guess you do have a point, Akiha. I guess I should focus more on my studies. I've had other stuff on my mind for far too long, but... I dunno. I'm not sure if I'm in a position to return to all that stuff right now."

Knowing that no matter how much she'd call for him, he would never look back.

"Can't say, or won't say?"

The abruptness of Akiha's question cut into the air like knife into a butter, catching Shiki off-guard with the almost venomous tone that she took. With a blink, the boy would look at his sister, posing a raised eyebrow and a somewhat quizzical look.

"Akiha... What are you...?"

"You know I can't be satisfied with those kinds of answers, and I'm afraid that you can't keep beating around the bush with me. You of all people should know that," Akiha said bluntly, attempting to get to the point. This had gone on for far too long. Ever since a year ago, he was never quite the same, and he kept his distance from others about his problems, that Ciel woman included, "... I'm afraid that I no longer wish to call out to you like this, waiting for you to respond, for something that would never come."

It was almost as though, after all these years, he never really did come back home.

...

Shiki didn't respond at first, as though attempting to process what had just been said. Hah, of course. Of course he should have known that he couldn't keep this up forever. This manner of how he acted that he wasn't even aware he maintained.

I really am oblivious about everything, huh? Especially about things I do myself...

Sniffle.

Before the young man would be able to even get a chance to think about what he wanted to say in response, the sight of his younger sister beginning to cry stopped him right in his tracks.

So with that, he said something really intelligent.

"I... Uh... E-Errr..."

Shiki wasn't used to a sight like this. Akiha didn't cry often, but when she did, it was a serious sign that he had done something wrong. Except here... He didn't know what he had done wrong. What was all this of a sudden, he wondered? Why was she being like this? Was it something he said? Was it something he did?

No. It was quite the opposite of that, as a matter of fact. It was everything that he didn't say and everything that he didn't do. That was why he was at fault, little did he reailze.

"Why... Why are you like this to me, Nii-san?" Akiha sniffled, looking away from him, "It's like... You're in a completely different place than the rest of us. Somewhere that none of us can reach you..."

"A-Akiha..."

"Nii-san... Where are you, really? Because I know you're not really here... with me. You're somewhere far, far away. Someplace that I could never come to with you," Akiha continued, hot tears running down her cheeks as she tried her best to maintain her breath, "It's like you're in an entirely different world than me. No, not just one world away... Many more than that. It's like you never did come back to me at all! It's like you're still gone, wherever you are!"

Shiki just looked on with a concerned frown, wondering what he was supposed to say.

"Akiha..."

After all... It wasn't like she was entirely wrong. Despite all the misadventures he had had over the past year, getting tangled into the Murder Games, meeting and losing Mikasa, fighting the Arch Demon... He never said a single word to Akiha. Nor did he say anything to the maids either. It was only between himself, Sensei, Ciel, and Arcueid. As far as his family was concerned, he was just... somewhere else. They didn't know the full extent of it all. They didn't know that he was out in other dimensions, fighting demons that posed multiversal threats.

He wouldn't want his sister nagging on how his grades came before the well-being of the multiverse, after all. Nor did he really want her to worry, more importantly.

It was depressingly ironic.

Hell, he never even told Akiha or the others about Yumizuka. The news of him getting a girlfriend would have shocked everyone, so he had kept his relationship with her a secret. Not that he had needed to for very long, though regardless, he kept Yumizuka's death a secret as well. And from the point of view of the others, he just... emotionally collapsed out of nowhere for an unidentifiable reason. A reason that definitely existed, but was never disclosed to any of them.

There were many things that Shiki hid from everyone, but it wasn't until now that he realized how bad he was at hiding. Granted, the things he hid weren't exactly the easiest things to hide.

So what did he say? What was he supposed to say?

What was he supposed to do? Hug her? Apologize? Tell her that he would always be by her side no matter what? Tell her the entire truth?

He didn't even decide before he'd open his mouth to speak again.

"Akiha, I... I'm--"

"Please don't talk to me... I... don't want to hear any more lies... I'm such a fool... expecting you to ever open up to me... Even back then, you were always like this to me!" Akiha exclaimed, before suddenly bolting right up and running back towards the mansion. Shiki could only try to call out with an almost amusingly pathetic "H-Hey! Wait!" and try to reach out for her.

But alas.

Shiki Tohno was in a place where he could not reach for those that he cared for.

When his arm had extended, all his hand had grasped was nothing. A whole load of nothing. Just like the nothing that was always on his mind.

God... I really am an idiot...

Shiki Tohno wondered if he had really found his hope again.

It dawned on him that he didn't realize it in time. What he had to say.

Satsuki... What do I do?

For the first time, he referred to Yumizuka by her first name. If only it was for a better time.

Akiha... I'm right here though...

Akiha didn't show up for dinner, nor did she show up for tea afterwards. Hisui wondered why, as Akiha at least informed the others if she were to miss dinner and tea, though Kohaku managed to stop her before Hisui would be able to go up and ask Akiha why she wasn't around. After all, as much as everyone loved Hisui, it couldn't be stressed enough that when someone made sure to be alone, it was best to leave them alone until they came out, lest ye face the consequences.

And that was precisely why Shiki didn't talk to Akiha. He knew that if he were to try to talk to her any more, he would probably just make things worse. Admittedly, he was never the best at this sort of thing, which was a bother, because at the same time, when compared to Hisui and Kohaku, he was probably the most suited for these interactions, and yet here he was, the target of Akiha's resentment right now.

Tch.

Why were girls such a pain in the ass? Of course, he really shouldn't say that, much less about his sister, but... Agh. How annoying.

Sitting in a chair, leaning on his arm, Shiki was deep in thought... again. Hmph. Maybe everyone was right about one thing. He was always lost in thought about something. A little something that he tended to call "nothing." Damn. Right when he thought things were about to look up for him again, here comes all sorts of other problems that needed to be remedied.

He really was just a magnet for trouble.

"Thinking about nothing again, Shiki-san?" A familiar girl with a familiar voice would ask, appearing out of the blue behind him with a cup of tea.

Kohaku had been mentioned plenty of times in this story, but she had never really properly been introduced, had she? Sorry about that.

Kohaku, along with her younger twin sister Hisui, were the maids to the Tohno Residence. Though they were roughly the same age as Shiki, they generally treated him as their superior, like they did with Akiha and the rest of the Tohno family before Akiha kicked them all out. Of course, Kohaku complied when Shiki asked that he not be referred to so formally, though the concept was lost on Hisui. Though Kohaku was considered Akiha's personal maid, while Hisui was Shiki's, the two of them occasionally serve the other. After all, it wasn't so much that they were "sharing" the maids, inappropriate as that might sound, but more... something else.

Kohaku was the one who usually cooked meals, as she wasn't so good at cleaning, while Hisui was vice versa; she couldn't cook to save her life, so she managed all of the cleaning.

One might ask themselves "How is someone not good at cleaning? Is it even possible to be bad at that, not counting instances where it's just not done at all?" Well... Kohaku's just not the best on her feet, let's just say.

But let's not digress.

Graciously taking the cup of tea, supported by a little plate, Shiki nodded, pursing his lips somewhat uncomfortably. "Ah... Yeah, I guess you could say that," he said, waiting for the tea to cool down just a bit before taking a sip, "Well, actually, for once, I'm thinking about something."

"Oh, my. Actually having something in that mind of yours? How rare indeed," Kohaku teased, giggling lightly.

"Aha... Please don't tease me, Kohaku-san. This is serious, y'know," Shiki spoke somewhat bashfully, before taking a sip of the tea in his hands with a sigh. The boiled water tasted sweet, yet bitter. Delightful, yet tart. It really was like Kohaku to make tea like this.

"See, I... just might know the reason why Akiha isn't down here right now, as much as I wish I didn't..."

"Eh? What might that reason be? It always seems like you and Akiha-sama are on the same wavelength, though I suppose that's to be expected from siblings."

"Again, please don't tease me. We're not even blood-related, even if we were just about raised together," Shiki continued, though giving a small laugh in response to Kohaku's assertion.

"If you insist, Shiki-san!~ Anyway, tell me, tell me! What exactly is Akiha-sama upset about?" Kohaku said excitedly, like a schoolgirl wanting to be filled in on the latest gossip, though her excitement would quickly change to a more reprimanding attitude rather quickly.

...

"You didn't say something mean to her, did you? I know about how insensitive you can be sometimes!"

"W-Well..."

"Hmmmm?"

Oh, jeez.

His expression turning serious again, Shiki began to speak. "It's... complicated," he said, trying to gather his words. After a brief moment, he pursed his lips, before talking again, "Kohaku-san, have I been... distant lately?"

Shiki felt a bit awkward asking that of someone usually so cheery, but he felt that he had to know what the others thought. In response to Shiki's inquiry, Kohaku's lively expression disappeared from her face, replaced by something of a worried one, golden eyes illustrating the feeling of puzzlement, though come the time she would respond again, a smile forced itself onto her lips.

"Shiki-san... You've always been distant. It's just... I don't think you ever realized," the maid responded, deciding to take a seat in the chair across from him, "But if you finally have come to realize it, then I assume Akiha-sama said something to you?"

Shiki clicked his tongue softly. Even someone like Kohaku was willing to admit his problems, huh? Damn. It almost cut deep hearing that from someone like her, but if she was saying it, it couldn't be anything other than the harsh truth then.

"Y-Yeah, she did," Shiki nodded, taking another sip of the tea, before momentarily setting it down on the little table in front of him, "She kept talking about me being someplace where I couldn't reach her, asking me where I was, telling me I... never came back."

"Oh? And what did she mean by that?"

"I... Agh, who knows? I certainly don't," Shiki sighed, running a hand through his hair as he spoke. Truth be told, the more she talked about him being in other worlds, the more he remembered the times where he... well, was in other worlds, fighting for his life, fighting for those he loved... And yet, the ones that he wanted to protect the most didn't know a thing about it. But no matter what, Shiki knew that that was for the better. He didn't want Akiha, Kohaku, or Hisui to get wrapped up in the affairs of the Murder Games, in the business of the Association...

They didn't deserve that. Nor did they deserve the burden of a deadbeat like him lugging around in their lives.

"Kohaku-san... You and Akiha keep telling me that I've always been distant, and... I guess it doesn't matter that much if I've been like this for a while, but tell me something... Are you sure you don't know what she meant by... Me not being here?" Shiki inquired. Kohaku, bubbly as she might be, was also possibly the most devious person in the household, amusingly enough.

He didn't often talk to Kohaku like this. After all, Hisui was the one who mostly took care of Shiki, and by extension, Hisui was probably the one the bespectacled young man would turn to just in case he'd need something, if only more because Hisui was the least likely to tease him about it. Still, this seemed like something only Kohaku could answer. So here he was, staring straight at Kohaku, waiting for an answer.

With that, Kohaku's light-hearted expression would once again falter, turning serious at a moment's notice, before she would speak again.

"Shiki-san... Tell me. Do you know where you are right now?"

Huh?

"Eh? What's that supposed to mean, Kohaku? I didn't ask a serious question only to get a weird question in response," Shiki grunted, leaning forward in his seat, "If that question is supposed to mean the same thing as Akiha asking me where I am, I... can't answer that. I don't even know what that question's supposed to mean. I mean, I--"

"I think you know exactly what I mean."

...

Shiki froze in his tracks, his gray eyes never averting the maid's golden gaze.

"Shiki-san... Who are you really lying to? Are you lying to me or yourself?"

What? Where was this...?

"Either way, Shiki-san, I think it's time you stopped and finally confronted the dilemma in front of you."

Finally confronted?

Shiki liked to believe that ever since defeating the Arch Demon, nothing scared him anymore. He was willing to confront any obstacle that came his way, and even if they'd cause him to pause like Yumizuka's ghost did, he swore to himself, to Mikasa, that no matter what, he'd climb over every mountain that would get in his way.

But never once did it occur to him that the tallest mountains that stood in front of him, he wouldn't be able to see, like he was blind.

So was that it?

First, it was knowing he shouldn't run away from his problems. Second, it was deciding to face them all head-on, no matter what. And now, third, he had to make himself wary of every problem that came his way. Damn it all to hell. Being a problem solver was a lot of hard work, huh?

Still, Shiki pursed his lips a bit, picking up his tea again and taking another sip. The drink had gone cold rather quickly, as though complementing the atmosphere of the sitting room. Damn. It was such good tea too.

"The dilemma in front of me..."

"Shiki-san, you can't just keep avoiding the question. So I'll ask again..." The redheaded maid said with a serious tone, before leaning forward, "Where are you really?"

"Where am I..."

Shiki pondered this question for a long time. Instead of waiting for someone to explain it to him, it was evident that this question was something that he'd have to figure out the meaning to himself. It was only then that he'd be able to find the answer. He sat there, thinking long and hard about it. His brow furrowed and his eyes narrowed a bit as he continued just sitting there in pensive thought. But all this really was easier said than done.

Who would have thought that compared to the scary women in his makeshift family, the Arch Demon was little more than a dumb dog with far more bark than bite?

Standing up and taking the tea after Shiki had finished it, Kohaku would give a small smile, followed by a breath. "It's okay if you can't think of the answer right away. But consider this... If you cannot answer that question, then perhaps it is because you don't know where you are either. And in that case... You'll have to go out and find yourself. Until then..." She began, before taking a small bow, "Good night, Shiki-san."

"Kohaku..."

With that, Kohaku would abruptly leave the sitting room, leaving Shiki to himself.

A man who did not know where he was.

This was the path that Shiki Tohno was going to go down if he did not change something.

And he knew that that was a path he couldn't afford to take.

---

The next day came and went.

The sun went up, and then went down.

School started, and school ended.

Arihiko talked to him. Ciel greeted him. Minato was... there.

On the outside, life was still normal as ever. But then again, nothing ever did seem normal to someone who fought immortal vampires. Maniacal scientists with a killer virus. An Arch Demon bent on ruling the multiverse. It was hard to return to a normal life after going through all that. But Shiki did, and though it wasn't the smoothest of transitions, he did so.

After an entire day had passed ever since his talk with Kohaku, Shiki had observed that Akiha still hadn't come out of her room. Evidently, Kohaku had called the Academy to tell them that Akiha had come down with a bad cold. The sad part was, Shiki couldn't even tell if that was a lie or not.

Dinner was awkward, with only himself sitting at the table while Hisui cleaned and Kohaku prepared some tea. After silently finishing his meal, he left without a word and made for upstairs. He made for his room, and would have called it a night there, though the windows that many people his age liked to stare out beckoned for him to look through. To angst even more about his problems, no doubt.

Staring out the window with a deep scowl, Shiki, once again, pondered his life.

It was times like these... Times like these where he hurt those that he cared for... That he wondered if he deserved to continue living with them. All he was ever capable of was hurting others. He managed to protect the smiles of those he loved, but at the cost of the lives of others. He killed to protect what was his. He hurt others to protect what was his. And little did he realize that he was also hurting what was his as well.

Even with these big glasses of his, Shiki Tohno was still blind to the world around him, far too focused on himself to see the bigger picture.

If something was making those he cared for cry... He just had to make that problem go away, right?

If he was the problem, he just had to go away and make everything better.

Maybe that would have been the solution to everything.

But he had to make absolutely sure of one thing.

He had to make sure that he was doing this not to run away again, but so that he could fix what had been wronged in the past.

If he were to disappear, he had to make sure that he'd come back. And with that, he would not only find himself again, as Kohaku had suggested, but he would also return the smile to everyone's face. And everything would be right again.

Heh, how convenient. Anyone else could easily say he was just running away again, but if he twisted up the reasoning a little, he could just say that he was running in order to solve a problem. That in itself was another conclusion that just anyone could say.

But not anymore.

Shiki Tohno was not running away.

He was just going to find the answer to the questions that haunted him all this time.

He would go away if he had to, but it would be for the sake of their smiles. And it would be for his own sake, so that he could see their smiles once again.

Shiki Tohno made a decision.

And once again.

Not even he knew how everything would change with that decision.

---

Preparations took a surprisingly long time, but a day after Shiki had made his decision, he finally decided to act on it.

He was going to leave once again. He was going to find himself. And he was going to finally come back home.

With nothing more than a baggage in hand, Shiki Tohno began to walk as quietly as he could through the corridors of the mansion, as to not wake everyone up. A day had passed since he had decided to leave home in order to find himself. He spent the entire day wondering what to pack, asking himself if he was really sure about this, where exactly he was going to go, and so on.

To the first question, he decided to pack one change of clothes, a toothbrush, his wallet, and a lot of fruit. Not exactly the ideal survival kit, but... If worse came to worse, he could always just slice up a deer that would come his way, even if Shiki didn't know the first thing about cooking.

Sorry, Sensei. Life is valuable and all that, yeah... I'll try my best not to resort to that.

As for the second question... Yeah, he was sure. This was something he had to do. Shiki was never cut out for a comfortable, banal, everyday life, as much as he wished for it. Even back when he was living with Miyako and the Arima family, he had always been in a sort of state of unrest for years on end, which Hisui and the others had noted when he had moved back into Tohno Mansion. Besides, he had made up his mind solidly. This was for the sake of Akiha and the others. And he would do anything for them.

I'm sorry, Akiha. But... I'll make it up to you eventually. Your big brother will make everything better!

And to the third question... Well, okay. He hadn't exactly thought about that yet.

That was still a work in progress.

With that being said, come midnight, past the curfew that Akiha had given him back then, everyone was hopefully asleep now. It was the perfect time to sneak out. And that was why he was like this now. Fortunately, Ciel would cover for him and use her Mystic Eyes of Charm to tell the school faculty some fib that would excuse his absences. After all, it'd be really embarrassing if he wouldn't be able to graduate this year.

Look at that. Thinking about the lesser problems while going out to fix his bigger problems. It was like he was a magnet for trouble sometimes.

Well, whatever. Just keep moving.

Moving down the stairs quietly, Shiki was finally faced with the front door. Without missing a beat, he made his way over towards the door, but just as he was about to reach his arm out to grab the knob, a familiar voice from behind stopped him dead in his tracks.

"And where do you think you're going, Shiki-sama?"

"..."

Shiki stood still like a frozen statue. Of all the people who would try to stop him from doing what he had to, never in a hundred years would he expect it to be Hisui, his personal maid who was usually so soft-spoken and went with the flow oftentimes. Not to say Hisui didn't say she had her own will or anything, but... Tch. Either way, this was bad. He'd have to work real good to out-stubborn Hisui when she got serious like this.

Just like Kohaku, huh? The two twins were more alike than they gave each other credit for, in Shiki's oh-so humble opinion.

"Hisui... Please don't stop me. This is for everyone's good. It's for the best that I leave for now, but... Please know that I'll come back. I don't know when, but I will. I promise."

"And how will this solve anything? If your intent is to disappear for a little while and wait until the situation with Akiha-sama is averted, then I'm afraid I--"

"That's not it! God, no! I... I'm not going away for the hell of it, Hisui," Shiki exclaimed, his hand balling into a fist as the intensity of the situation already got to him, "Only now has it occurred to me how distant I've always been, and... To fix that, I'm afraid I have to leave. I... Look, I know that might sound contradictory, but trust me, Hisui. I know what I'm doing for once."

"Do you really? Do you realize what will happen if you leave? Akiha-sama's depression will escalate, and as she is right now, I'm afraid I do not wish to see her suffer like that. So please, I urge you, Shiki-sama... Go back to your room and unpack your things. You've been gone from the mansion plenty of times already, and Akiha-sama would not wish for you to leave again."

Tch. It was amazing how lectures stung the most when they came from people who were usually so soft-spoken and generous.

"I know she wouldn't, but... This is for her own good! I'm not doing this for myself, Hisui. I'm doing this for all of you!"

"And how is that so, Shiki-sama? How would just leaving us make anything better?"

"It's... complicated."

"Nothing is ever simple with you."

Ouch. Really didn't need that quip. That really came out of left field too, considering Hisui's usual calm, almost stoic demeanor.

"Look... It's like I said, Hisui. I now know about how... distant I've always been. It's like you and the others always say. It's like I'm always somewhere else, even when I'm here. Like I'm... worlds apart. If only I realized in time what it was all supposed to mean, maybe it all could have been fixed before the problems arose, but I guess it's too late now. That's why... This is something I have to do."

"Shiki-sama..."

"Akiha and Kohaku-san asked if I knew where I was right now, and... I couldn't give them an answer. I didn't know where I was. That's why I'm leaving. I'm going to go see if I can find myself out there," Shiki said, turning around and facing Hisui, now on the same ground as her.

"I know that I left behind a part of myself somewhere out there, and until I find that part of myself, I can't make anyone happy. The longer I stay here as I am, the more Akiha will suffer because of me, so it's better if I leave now. Even if she hates me for it now, I promise that when, not if, but when I come back, I'll be able to give Akiha her hope back as well."

...

Hisui kept a skeptical look on her face, continuing to stare unevenly at him, until Shiki would speak once more in order to reinforce himself.

"Hisui... You are one of the most important people to me. There's no one in this world that I care for more than you, Kohaku-san, and Akiha," He spoke, the grip on his bag tightening, "That's why I'm doing this. It really is for the sake of you all. You have to believe me on that. I'm not going to let any of you suffer because of me. That's why... When I come back, I'm definitely gonna make sure to come back with your smiles!"

"Shiki-sama... I..." Hisui spoke, now the one struggling to find words to respond with, her stern expression faltering and replaced with a more meek one.

"I do not want you to leave. It... It is true that you might be distant and... and even aloof at times, but... I know that you care. Please... stay. Don't go," Hisui practically pleaded, her voice breaking ever so slightly as she took a step forward, "It does not have to be this way. I am sure that if you were to simply talk to Akiha-sama, you would be able to--"

"Hisui-chan, do you really think Akiha would be that easy to talk to?"

Looking back, maybe Hisui was more bark than bite...

"B-But even so--!"

Before the maid would be able to say any more, she was suddenly stopped when a finger was held up just a few centimeters away from her lips, silencing her. Shiki had went ahead and approached Hisui, shushing her as to make sure she doesn't accidentally wake up Akiha and Kohaku. He made sure to not touch her lips, as one, that would be a little weird, and two, he remembered Hisui's aversion to being touched by males, which was... often inconvenient, but it couldn't be helped, given her reasoning.

"Look... I don't really have long, but this is something a man has to do, Hisui. Please... Don't tell Akiha. Just... pretend you didn't see me. You can all be shocked about me leaving tomorrow morning, 'kay?" He asked with a gentle smile that was almost too sweet for his own good.

"Like I said... I'll be back before you know it. It's a promise," he said, holding out his pinkie. A pinkie promise.

What was he, eight years old again?

He felt dumb after immediately remembering that Hisui didn't like being touched at all, so he was about to pull away his pinkie, but before he'd be able to do so, Hisui would take Shiki's hand in one hand and wrap the pinkie of her other hand with his, squeezing tightly.

And that was when Shiki looked at Hisui again. That was when he saw her tears.

Tears that Akiha had probably shed for him as well.

"Shiki-sama... You... You really are the worst."

Shiki's smile faltered substantially upon seeing those tears. Tch, how troublesome. Tears didn't really suit girls like Akiha and Hisui. They were too pretty for that.

With his free hand, his bag on his shoulder, Shiki began to reach out to her, before stopping again, wondering if she'd pull away from the notion of being touched, like he was pressing his luck or something, but when Hisui made no such move to pull away, Shiki made his move and wiped the tears that ran down Hisui's cheeks off her face, the maid sniffling lightly as he did so.

"Keep this between you and me, Hisui... But I always did think you were just a little prettier than Kohaku. That's why it hurts me too when you cry, so cut it out, will ya?" He asked, his smile returning again.

"I-I..."

With that, Shiki would pull away, silently turning around and back to the door, where he would put his hand on the doorknob.

"Keep the key under the mat in the backdoor, alright? Thanks, and... See ya."

With a final wave, Shiki Tohno left for the unknown.

Once again, he left his ordinary world to answer the call to adventure, like an olden hero.

"Shiki-sama... Please come back soon..."

---

In the darkness, Shiki Tohno felt most at ease.

He didn't know where he was going, and though that would have caused someone else to pause as they walked, Shiki just kept moving. He knew that wherever the hell he was going, he was bound to run into something, at least. Trouble always found him like that, after all.

Ah... The full moon is out right now. How bitterly nostalgic...

The curtain of fate was about to open soon, but not yet. The stage was just getting set for whatever was to come. With that being said.

The curtain doesn't open yet.

Unable to restrain myself,

I wander into the darkness of the forest.

He narrated his own actions inside his own head, as though starting to write a book in his head. As though he were embarking on a brand new journey. His final one.

---

The moon was beautiful tonight.

You listen to my voice
Listen to my heart
Now I see it clearly

The more he played back the cries of Akiha, the tears of Hisui, the advice of Kohaku... He knew that human beings could never truly understand each other. It was a fundamental part of existing. Shiki wasn't about to claim that he knew the meaning of life or anything like that, but he did know that part of living knew that you would never be able to truly understand others, even yourself, but it's the notion of continuing to deepen the relationships you make with others that make life worthwhile.

That was why what he was doing was worth it.

You listen to your voice
Listen to your heart
Do you even smile?

If Shiki could not even understand himself that well, how could he expect others to even begin to try to understand him? That was another reason he was doing this. So that he could find himself. He was leaving just so that he could return.

And once he figured out what exactly the "something" he was looking for was, everyone would be able to smile again.

There is nothing you can't do
Only you can do to make yourself happy

Shiki Tohno was oblivious to happiness. For every problem that he solved, it seemed like two more would spring up just for him. No matter what he did, anything that could possibly make him happy was taken from him, or he was taken from.

But he couldn't very well wait to become happy. He had to be the one to put the smile back on his face.

This was his journey. His fight. His life.

You listen to your voice
Listen to your heart
Make yourself live

Maybe the key to finding where he really was lay inside him all this time.

And once he found himself, he would be able to live like a human again.

He would be able to exist in this world again.

 

[Ver]

Chapter 4 - The Disappearance of Shiki Tohno

Spoiler

Though it wasn't as if Shiki didn't have a presence to begin with in the Tohno Mansion, it would be a lie if one were to say that the morning was any sort of drastically different than before he had left. Shiki had always been something of a heavy sleeper, to the point where Hisui used to be plain unable to wake him up, even after shaking him with her hands.

Unlike Akiha, who would always make sure to promptly wake up at around 5 in the morning, regardless of whether it was a weekday or the weekend, Shiki tended to usually barely wake up just in time for class, and on the weekends where he woke up when he pleased, he usually came around at 10 in the morning and, while he personally didn't think that was even that bad a time to wake up compared to other people his age, Akiha would always reprimand him for being such a lazy young man.

After all, that's behavior unfitting for a member of the Tohno family!

Those were her exact words back then, but the more Akiha thought back on it... Well, never mind.

Akiha Tohno had a pretty big bedroom. That wasn't to say the other bedrooms in the luxurious Tohno Manor were not well-sized. In fact, compared to the rooms of the residences of most normal people, the average bedroom, like the one that Shiki once had, was actually possibly twice as large as the average bedroom, which only meant that Akiha's own room was... Well, considerable. Let's leave it at that.

With tables, couches, a fireplace, and so on littered all over the room, some could say that Akiha's bed was able to double as a living room in its own right. With that being said, this made it only a little less concerning when Akiha had begun to generally refuse to leave her bedroom after Shiki had left a few days ago. The only times she'd leave her room would be in the mornings when she had school in order to have a quick meal fixed by Hisui, and when she'd come back from school, only to march her way straight to her room, where she was just about never seen leaving, even going far enough to request that her meals now be brought to her room instead of eating at the dining table.

It was all very concerning to witness such change in Akiha's behavior, the maids would admit, but at the very least, at least she wasn't refusing to leave altogether. After all, she was the head of the Tohno. She had too many responsibilities to simply stop what she had to do, and as childish as Shiki might call her, Akiha was mature enough for her age that she knew the world would keep on going, and that she'd have to keep walking alongside it if she wanted to remain as she was. One could argue that Shiki himself had given Akiha this strength and resolve to keep going no matter what.

Back then... Back before Shiki routinely disappeared because of "business" that only that dreaded Ciel woman could disclose, back when he would actually stay home like a responsible older brother, he used to be more... cheery and bright. Even if, as Akiha had told him just a few days ago, words that she deeply regretted, he was still "somewhere else" back then, he was able to create the illusion that he was home. And through that illusion, he had made Akiha, and the maids for that matter, happy. Yes... They were happy together. It was hard to remember that those days were a reality after what had happened, just like how it was hard to believe that that was all only a year ago. Things really could change in the blink of an eye, couldn't they?

With that being said, Akiha would be lying if she said that she didn't ever have thoughts about returning to the past. A time where life was much simpler than it once was. A time where she could definitely, without any doubt in her mind, say that she was happy. But the more she grew older, the girl almost reaching the age of official adulthood, the more she realized that she had to come to terms with the fact that the past would forever be the past, and nothing would ever be able to change that, no matter how hard she'd wish. Her memories were her only link to that past, so she cherished those memories with all of her will, but... Admittedly, sometimes, it just wasn't enough.

As she rest her head on her arm, sitting at her desk in her bedroom, the low glow of the computer screen before her shedding some light on her delicate features, Akiha looked distantly out the window, admiring one of the many yards of the Tohno Estate. Hmph. As beautiful as the trees and vegetation were, Akiha had to agree with something that was said by many people around the world; money can't buy happiness. With all that she could afford, it seemed that, frustratingly enough, the one thing that continued to elude her grasp was happiness. It always seemed to be in arm's reach, but when Akiha would attempt to grasp it, it would suddenly pull itself away, as though it were just some bait.

She really did hate it.

"Nii-san... Where are you? Where did you go?"

How troublesome. It was all very troublesome.

Cause and effect. She hated it all because it was all troublesome.

And what was this "it" that she hated? Who could say for sure? Perhaps it wasn't even one simple thing. After all, there were many things she hated. She hated how Shiki was always so distant, even back when he used to smile and convince everyone that he was just as happy as everyone else around, despite everyone knowing that it was all just a facade. Who did he think he was fooling? Was he trying to fool those around him? Or rather... Was he trying to fool himself? Akiha couldn't say for sure, and she hated that uncertainty.

She hated herself for the things she had said to Shiki as well. Even if she believed herself to be right... She'd apologize ten times over for what she had said to him if she could. Akiha generally was too stubborn to apologize to anyone, but... Shiki was perhaps the one person whom she cared to apologize to for anything bad she might have done. But now the damage was done, and he was gone. Was his departure perhaps a direct result of her words? What did she even want to accomplish when she had yelled at him in the courtyard?

Even now, she couldn't answer that herself. Perhaps she was just venting her frustrations, but... Well, that really was quite unprofessional of her, wasn't it? And now she had paid the price after realizing that it was likely that outburst that had caused Shiki to leave.

On one hand, perhaps he had left to... find himself, as she had reprimanded him for not doing, but on the other... He didn't have to go through that alone.

Perhaps that was the main thing she hated.

The notion that Shiki believed he had to do everything by himself. It was manly, almost straight out of an old manga like Fist of the North Star or so, but at the same time, it was... quite annoying, when one places that kind of characteristic in real life.

Still, the more Akiha tried to look through Shiki's head, the more she had become aware of how little she knew about him, and how much other people like those Ciel and Brunestud women knew him in ways that she couldn't hope to, in the name of "her protection" or whatever flimsy excuse that Shiki would give.

But even despite all of his flaws, there was a reason why she wanted him back. It was quite simple really. For all the overthinking she did about the bad aspects about him, there was one main, good aspect about him that seemed to overshadow them all.

He was her brother, and she loved him.

That was all there was to it.

---

The household of Akiha Tohno was not the only group of people who felt the disappearance of Shiki Tohno. When the young man had left Misaki Town, it was almost like a good chunk of the entire town had left with him. Back in the so-called "old days," Shiki's school life was quite the lively one. There was, of course, the good-natured, responsible Ciel-senpai. There was Satsuki Yumizuka, who had always harbored a crush on Shiki. And there was Arihiko Inui, the friend who was perhaps the most oblivious about Shiki's personal life. Yet even Arihiko could feel that something was off ever since Shiki had entirely stopped coming to school, a notion that Ciel immediately found somewhat concerning in turn.

Admittedly, Ciel wasn't on the best of terms with most of the other girls that Shiki had found company in.

Akiha Tohno was far too possessive of Shiki, and naturally very suspicious of other girls who would accompany him. On top of that... Well, to make it simple, Ciel was a member of the Holy Church. The Trump Card of the Burial Agency, as it were. She specialized in hunting down vampires, demons, and other creatures that would interfere with the lives of the ordinary human. The Tohno had a substantial amount of demon blood within them, and of course, Akiha was no exception. However, because the Tohno did not "interfere" with humans (what was more, they were only part-demon anyway), Ciel had no reason to really quarrel with Akiha, but... Well, women will be women, just as boys would be boys.

As for Arcueid Brunestud... Well, she was self-explanatory. There wasn't much to say about the White Princess of the True Ancestors, but like with Akiha, she did little to actively interfere with the affairs of humanity, so Ciel had no choice but to let them be.

With that all being said, Ciel didn't often talk to either of them. Still, there were times where she felt it was necessary to do so. But if she had to choose between the two of them, it'd definitely be Arcueid. While both she and Akiha were capable of being annoyingly passive-aggressive, Arcueid was dim-witted enough that it somehow made the quips more manageable at times.

And so she did.

Funded by some kiss-up of a Dead Apostle Ancestor named Merem Solomon, Arcueid's place was disproportionately nice for a small, subtle apartment. If she wanted to, Arcueid could have purchased an entire house with Solomon's funding, given that the Dead Apostle also funded her flights across the world when she had been hunting Roa until a year ago, so one had to wonder about her choice of residence, but perhaps it mattered little.

Even as a high-ranking member of the Burial Agency, breaking & entering wasn't exactly something that was "allowed," but so long as no one found out, then it was alright, right?

Then again, even if they did, perhaps Ciel would be shown some leniency if they'd know that this was the residence of a vampire. Or, on the other hand, perhaps that'd be all the more reason for her to be penalized.

Sitting atop a chair, three Black Keys in her hand as a precaution, Ciel waited. During nights like these, she should be hunting down rogue vampires that plagued Misaki Town and nearby locations. After all, with powerful vampires like Roa came a large number of servants, so it was her duty to hunt down those who would attempt to resurrect their fallen master, or any other unholy deed. In a sense that perhaps some would be able to see as ironic in one light, Arcueid often did the same at night, with or without Shiki by her side. A vampire hunting vampires. Such a concept was perhaps found in an American comic book, but it wasn't so comic in this scenario.

Still... By now, it was nearly 4 in the morning. The sun would be rising soon, and everyone knew that by this time, the vampires would be retreating to wherever they could find in order to ensure that they would be protected from the harmful sun. Where was Arcueid? Shouldn't she be coming back home th--

"I was going to wait a few more minutes, but I'm getting impatient, so I'll ask now; what exactly do you think you're doing in here, Ciel?"

"!!"

With a greatly surprised grunt, Ciel held up the three swords in her hand, instinctively ready to get into attack mode, before quickly calming down upon realizing that it was none other than Arcueid herself. Well, perhaps "calm down" was the wrong phrase, as that would imply that she was put at ease, so it would be more accurate to say that she had went from "alarmed" to "annoyed," and this could be reflected from the glare she'd give Arcueid upon putting back her Black Keys.

"What are you doing here?"

Not even a polite "hello." This truly was how women like Ciel and Arcueid communicated.

Furrowing her eyebrows in response, Arcueid replied promptly.

"I should be asking you that. This is my apartment, after all. Or were you so dumb that you managed to mix up who lived where?"

With a small "Tch," Ciel simply ignored the jab at her, walking over to the lamp on the nightstand beside Arcueid's bed and turning it on, illuminating the entire room. Though she didn't intend for there to be a fight, Ciel kept the corners in check. Turning on the light was a strategic move, not so much because of the light in of itself, as a True Ancestor vampire was hardly perturbed by sunlight, but more because of the shadows that it created. If this conversation were to end up in a skirmish, all Ciel would have to do would be to stab Arcueid's shadow on the ground with a Black Key, and she'd effectively be stuck in place.

With that in mind, Ciel thought up what she wanted to say, and then spoke upon recalling it.

"Putting that aside, Arcueid... Believe it or not, I didn't come here to fight. I just wanted to have a nice fireside chat is all."

"Hooh, is that so? I guess you must really like talking to me if you felt the need to break into a place like this," Arcueid responded, crossing her arms as she leaned informally against the wall, "Let's get down to business down, church lady. What do you need?"

Usually, around most people, most notably Shiki Tohno, Arcueid was far more bubbly, whimsical, and upbeat. When Ciel was around, however, the only times she was like this was precisely to mock Ciel. Otherwise, the White Princess generally kept her guard up and her wits running, as though the mere act of standing in the same room as her meant playing a game of mental chess against her.

"You're far more mushy with Tohno-kun than most other people, aren't you? I figured you'd be able to give me some answers about him."

Usually, under normal circumstances, Arcueid's mood would be flipped like a switch at the mere mention of Shiki's name, and no matter what, she'd go from anything to a cheerful, excited person with a demeanor resembling that of an eccentric little girl. But the moment Arcueid's expression continued to glower at Ciel, her eyes became more narrow as the atmosphere suddenly became that much more tense.

A vampire like her certainly was able to have that effect on the nature of the world.

"Ehh, is that so? What do you want to know about Shiki?"

The words came out of her mouth with a venomous drip. It wasn't so much at the mere mention of Shiki's name, one should clarify, but rather, the simple notion that Ciel wanted to talk to her about him. Matters like that were rarely pleasant.

It seemed that Ciel knew that as well, so she wasted no time in getting it over with when she'd speak again.

"I want to know where he is. It's not like him to miss class after all. As his trusty upperclassman, it's my duty to make sure his attendance doesn't prevent him from graduating this year, after all. A savior of the multiverse he may be, but it seems that even that kind of recognition won't pay off any debts he might have in the future," Ciel said. It was hard to keep in mind that she was half-joking when she spoke, given her completely frosty and aloof tone, but that couldn't be helped when Arcueid was around.

Arcueid gave quite a pause after Ciel would finish speaking, as though letting her words sink in for a moment so that she could produce an apt response. The pause was an uncomfortable moment of silence as Arcueid kept a firm gaze upon Ciel, and would receive an equally cold look in return. This certainly was not something that Arcueid exactly wanted to disclose to someone like Ciel, but... Well, though she might hate it, perhaps Ciel could be of some use if they were after the same thing.


"Shiki is... gone. I don't know where he is. He just... disappeared," Arcueid would eventually say, furrowing a brow as she spoke,"Usually, when he's not in class, I usually see him lazing around in his home, since he doesn't have a part-time job or anything. However, as you might have noticed, he hasn't been around lately. According to Len-chan, it seems that he left town entirely. Jeez, and he calls me an idiot, but he forgot to say goodbye to me before leaving... Wherever he was going to!"

Ciel was about to suggest that perhaps Shiki didn't "forget" anything, but decided to hold her tongue.

"So sooner or later, I'm gonna go ahead and send Len-chan off to go find him herself. Y'know, scouting around and all that. Since she's Shiki's familiar, she shouldn't have much trouble tracking him down. I still have to wonder where he intends on going though..."

Hmm, interesting. Maybe Ciel should send her own recon unit or something to find him. Like Arcueid, Ciel also wondered where Shiki was going. What was so urgent that made him suddenly leave like that, without even telling anyone beforehand? Was another big event on the horizon and he felt the need to confront it before it'd get closer? Had his Mystic Eyes finally driven him mad and drove him out from his home? Who could say for sure?

Oftentimes, Shiki was a surprisingly difficult person to read, despite the facade of a simple man that he wore. There were times where he was as transparent as glass, granted, but other times like these, the young man was capable of being difficult to read. Like a blind person trying to read the Bible without Braille. As in, sometimes, it was downright impossible to know what was going on in Shiki's head. Hell, Ciel could imagine that not even he himself knew what he was thinking sometimes. That was what caused her to worry the most, perhaps. He was unpredictable like that... and that simply made him a danger to himself, whether he cared or not.

That's why they absolutely had to make sure that he was found and brought home.

"I see... So he really has disappeared. He really is a troublesome boy, isn't he?" Ciel sighed, putting a hand on her hip with a sigh, "It's always something with him."

There was never any end.

Still, the more Ciel thought about it, the more troubling it really was becoming. According to the Holy Church's intelligence, there was a particularly pressing case that required her attention. On one hand, she couldn't very well abandon her duties as an Executioner, but on the other, she didn't really want to leave it all in the hands of Brunestud. Who knew what she'd probably do to him?

Hmm. She didn't really want to use him to do what she wanted, even though, more than likely, he wouldn't have minded at all, especially since holiday was coming up soon. Still, she'd probably end up saying something else to him. Something that was more... a half-truth than anything else.

"Well... If that's it, could you please leave? Our shared habit of staring blankly in each other's eyes is quickly becoming uncomfortable."

What a pain.

It was almost like Shiki Tohno had become Misaki Town's Most Wanted. Everyone seemed determined to try to find him.

Little did anybody know, the residents of Misaki Town weren't the only ones looking for him.

---

Beep.

Akiha Tohno's computer let out a small beeping noise. That's how she set it to ever since Shiki had disappeared. See, fearing that he would try to move far, far away from Japan, let alone Misaki Town, Akiha had frozen Shiki's credit card.

As the Tohno were something of an aristocratic family, despite both Akiha and Shiki never exactly being fond of that word, they had plenty of funds to make use of. Despite how much Shiki would insist, Akiha never let him get his own job to get his own money. It was almost depressingly amusing; the older brother letting his life be pretty much run by the younger sister, who was the head of the family.

But let us not digress.

With Shiki's card frozen, Akiha had made sure to be notified whenever he would try to use it, and it seemed that he had, indeed, just tried to use it, wherever he was! If he was in a place where he was able to use such a thing, then the possibilities were endless. Was he perhaps at an airport, ready to buy some tickets to get out of Japan already!? Or perhaps he was currently on his way there, having taken a taxi on his way, and he tried to use that card just now?!

Who knew what kind of dastardly thing he was trying to do with her money?!

"Nii-san... I'm afraid this is checkmate. I have you now! Now you'll certainly have to come home!"

---

"Ah... Dammit, really?!" Shiki grunted in irritation. Of all times for this to happen! Just when he had run out of cash and decided to rely on the funds in the account too.

Pursing his lips in annoyance, the young man scratched his head for a brief moment, staring at his card in mild frustration. Admittedly, he felt a little silly in this sort of situation that he found himself in, but come on! Not even a single dollar to spare, Akiha?!

Well, of course not. Perhaps he should have expected that.

Banging his hand on the glass of the vending machine in front of him, staring longingly at the chocolate bar inside that he was craving, Shiki let out a melancholy sigh.

What a cruel twist of fate.

Gh... I'm so hungry too. But I don't wanna use up my rations so quickly. Those have gotta last, and I just need a quick boost of energy... Hmm...

Shiki swiped the card on the vending machine again, in hopes that it would work this time, only to be met with a prompt that said "Card denied." Then he swiped it again. And again. And again, only to be met with the exact same result every time.

"Damn it all..."

---

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

For every time that Shiki had attempted to use the card, a small beep would be heard from the computer. Akiha, sitting at her table with her arms crossed, practically had her eyes glued to the screen. The beeps continued for several seconds, as it seemed that Shiki had grown desperate and hoped in vain that eventually, if he would swipe the card enough, the money would be accepted.

But it was useless!

Akiha almost had to hold back a small, giddy laugh, something sinister along the lines of "Ufufufufu." This was just too good. Of course he wouldn't be able to resist... Wait a minute.

...

Hmm, how curious. It looked like he stopped using the card. Did he finally give up? Hmph! That was alright! With that, looking up at the ceiling, Akiha would wonder what Shiki's situation was. Was he lamenting the lack of funds that was at his disposal? Was he facing an awkward crisis at the moment? The suspense killed her.

---

Well... It's as Arihiko says. It's only illegal if you get caught.

There was a nice fist-sized hole in the glass of the vending machine. Desperate times called for desperate measures, after all, and Shiki was... desperate, as much as he didn't really want to admit it.

Sitting on a nearby bench, chocolate bar in hand, Shiki sighed.

I don't think I'm cut out for this "finding myself" business...

Good grief.

Well, that was okay. At least he got something to eat out of it.

...

Come to think of it, he figured that since he went through the trouble of just punching through the glass and stealing one lousy chocolate bar, he may as well steal everything else that was in it. The tea cakes, the cookies, the potato chips, all of the sweet dagashi treats.

No one would mind if he indulged himself, right?

Damn, he'd make for a crafty hobo one of these days.

Taking a bite out of the chocolate bar, like a satisfied burglar, Shiki looked up at the moon, before giving a soft sigh.

...

"Ugh. I hate dark chocolate."

 

[Ver]

Chapter 5 - The Law of Shiki Tohno

Spoiler

https://www.storytellerscircle.com/threads/the-law-of-shiki-tohno.4835/

Due to this particular chapter being a 1 x 1, it is unable to be properly pasted in this post, but the link to the entire chapter is provided above.

 

[Ver]

Chapter 6 - The Hunt for Shiki Tohno

Spoiler

"Nnn... Papaaa... Where are we going?"

"..."

"Papaaaa."

"Home."

"Eh?"

"We're going home. To where you belong."

There once lived a man who lived for nothing but himself, because he had nothing else. He was born with a pre-determined purpose in life, a path that was chosen for him, and he was given no choice but to go along with that path. It wasn't like he even desired to fight his fate anyway, as he did not know what other path to take if he had chosen to try to resist.

So like an obedient dog to his family, he did as he was told. He lived the way he was told to live, and even then, he had proven to be less satisfactory compared to his siblings, despite his special talents. The man had even conceived a child much later than his siblings did, even though he had been the one chosen to be the direct head who would be succeeded by his child. Still, he did not care. Apathy was something he felt for everything; his job, his family, his lover, and even his own life. Nobody had the right to question it. They were the ones who made him like this in the first place.

But even so... Despite all the apathy, all the gray in his life, the man's life, and how he viewed life, had changed entirely when he had seen his son for the first time.

The sight of his infant son, pure and naive to the cruel and frightening world, had triggered something inside the man. He had denied that the trigger was something as cliche and human as "love" or "the desire to protect," but deep down, it was most definitely that. With a child that he desired to protect, a child that he loved even if he would not admit it, the man realized that this kind of life was not the one that he wanted to raise this child in.

So he left. Taking his son with him, he had left his family and his lover, hoping to start over and begin a new life. Hoping that in this new life, his son would be able to choose his own path.

The man, Kiri Nanaya, had hoped that his son, Shiki, would be able to forge his own way through life.

Because the ability to choose what would become of your life was the greatest gift a parent could provide. And the greatest proof that a person most definitely existed the way they would have liked to.

---

The forest was big, but thankfully, Shiki Tohno, partially with the help of his familiar, Len, was able to navigate through the trees and the bugs. Still, he didn't feel any safer outside the forest than he did inside it.

Sometime after one Minato Arisato and one Kouma Kishima had left him, Shiki had felt a strange, uneasy sensation. The woefully familiar feeling of being watched. He knew that it was not Kishima, for the "man" had already fulfilled his desire to see him. Len would have likely reacted if it were Ciel-senpai, Arcueid, or any sort of vampire, but it seemed that the presence watching him from afar, whoever it was, was definitely human. No normal animal had those kinds of skills to conceal themselves like that. Knowing that the woods made for a disadvantaged fighting location, given that whoever had been watching him was likely able to use the trees to their advantage, whoever they were, this only increased the priority to jump ship as soon as possible.

And thus, so he did. Shiki had managed to safely get out of the woods, but even so, he still couldn't shake off the feeling. Because he didn't lose whoever was following him.

"... Hmm," Shiki softly murmured to himself as he suddenly came to a stop, Len stopping with him without missing a beat as the young man began thinking of something.

"... Come on, Len. We're gonna go out in the open. Get some fresh air."

"..."

As per typical Len fashion, the only response she gave to Shiki was a small nod. With that being said, the familiar who stood at a puny 4'3 took Shiki by the hand, and began to walk with him. The two of them took steps away from the forest, and into the open.

Both of them knew what was up. There was nowhere to hide out in the open. There were no trees around to take refuge behind, and the grass was hardly tall enough to lay down in. If whoever was stalking Shiki wanted to show themselves, then he'd know.

Perhaps if Shiki were in a better mood, he would have taken a while to admire the landscape before him. The clouds covering up the moon, the complete lack of obstacles around. Just a pure grassland, undisturbed by anything. Not by man, not by anything. It was just an undisturbed part of the world.

Ah, Arcueid would have probably loved this place.

But of course, as mentioned, that was not on Shiki's mind right now.

No, the only thing that occupied his thoughts when he would make his way over to the clearing was the unknown, masked person that stood in front of him, deciding that it was no longer time to hide, but rather, to confront the boy. And for the boy, it was time he figured out why this unknown person was after him.

"..."

"So? We're right where we want each other, it seems. If you're not going to talk, I suppose I'll start with the questions. Who are you? And what do you want with me? I can assume that you're an awful long way from home, mister..."

"VECTOR. You can just call me VECTOR, not that you'll live long enough for it to matter," the man simply replied. Aha, so he had a mouth on him, Shiki thought.

"So you wanna kill me, huh? Well, I guess I should have expected as much. Your get-up doesn't exactly scream friendly neighborhood if you ask me."

"That's the plan. From my understanding, the name BERTHA rings a bell? 'Cause she's my comrade. And even after Wesker bit the big one, we still have the same goal in mind."

Shiki's frown deepened a little upon the mention of "BERTHA." Of course he recognized the name, even if he hadn't heard it in a very long time. Back in the Crossed Incident, the Murder Game that had began everything as far as he was concerned, "BERTHA" was one of the many assassins who worked under Albert Wesker to dispatch with the Survivors. In the end, Bertha had managed to escape, along with Wesker, but unlike her employer, the woman herself seemed to have remained hidden behind the shadows while Wesker stuck around to work alongside the Arch Demon.

Hmm, so Bertha and Wesker's other cronies were still about. Okay. It was time to do something about that.

Shiki wasn't about to feel pity over killing someone like VECTOR or Bertha or anyone who would ally themselves with Wesker. It wasn't his place to decide who "deserved to die" and who "deserved to live," but the fact of the matter was that if people like this VECTOR were gone, a lot less people would be hurt. Killing one to save many. Tch. What a bone-headed ideal. Shiki wasn't about to call himself a hero, but he did, admittedly, like to imagine that by killing this man, he would indeed save quite a few lives.

"I'm afraid I can't let you carry out whatever it is you want to do."

"I figured as much. That's why I came prepared, Progenitor Shiki Tohno. You will not leave this place alive. Once you and the rest of the Progenitors are dead, then the child will rise to power."

Aha, an idle threat, followed by some semblance of a hint at what he planned. It seemed that VECTOR thought little of Shiki, but that was okay. The feeling was mutual. In each other's eyes, the men were nothing but insects that deserved to be squashed.

Taking off his glasses, glowing eyes never once leaving VECTOR, Shiki began to step forward, gently pulling his arm away from the familiar before him. "Len... No matter what happens, don't interfere. Do you understand? This is something I gotta do by myself."

A struggle between men with their lives on the line.

Also quite a cliche thing to come across.

With that, he withdrew his knife and began walking towards VECTOR, who had been waiting patiently for the boy to get on with it already.

With the Mystic Eyes of Death Perception on his side, Shiki could easily make out the lines and points of "death" on VECTOR's body. Tch. A person with lines and points as visible as these was, by technical terms, "human," but deep down, this man was no human. He was a monster.

Then again, it took one to know one, didn't it?

As long as he'd manage to slice across VECTOR's whole body, or even just stab one of the points, the fight was his. Range wasn't a problem if all went well.

However, Shiki had a small habit of underestimating his opponents, though to be fair, there weren't very many people to look forward to fighting with a power like this. With this kind of power, you weren't meant to fight people. You were just meant to kill. With that said, perhaps Shiki shan't be so eager to call this a "fight." However, it will end in only one of the two men walking away from this experience.

And Shiki knew who that man was going to be.

What a boring kid, the assassin thought to himself, drawing his own weapons as well, Wouldn't even look away from me to give me a chance to do a sneak attack.

Pistol in one hand and knife in the other, VECTOR was ready.

"Enough talk. Once I gut you, I'll gut your freak of a little sister thing too."

"The only person you can ever hurt is your mother with that ugly face that you hide behind a mask," Shiki shot back, continuing to walk towards the killer like a Hollywood slasher. Two killers, two murderers, about to engage in combat. A test to see who was the more capable assassin.

And so, the battle begun with the first shot.

VECTOR, pointing his firearm right at Shiki, pulled the trigger, a loud BANG ringing as a bullet flew straight at the boy! In response, in the blink of an eye, Shiki had disappeared from sight, as though he had willed himself out of reality. But that was hardly the case.

He was simply too fast for the human eye to comprehend.

Not only that, he was too strong for the ordinary human to keep up with when fired up like this. However, Shiki's initial mistake was underestimating his opponent.

Even if VECTOR had been born a normal human, the VECTOR that stood here was far from that.

And then...

Disappear!

At godspeed, Shiki Tohno had suddenly reappeared behind VECTOR, his hand tightly gripping his knife and his shining indigo-blue eyes fixating on the lines of death visible to him. And so, he began to swing his knife, going for the kill-shot.

Only for things to not go as predicted.

CLACK!

Before Shiki knew it, his knife had been blocked by VECTOR's own knife! But this... That kind of feat was impossible for a normal human! Shiki, who moved at speeds surpassing that of sound, was quite surprised to say the least. Either VECTOR was able to account for that, or... He was also just that fast.

Meaning that he had to get back. Now.

Moving as quickly as his body would allow him, Shiki would suddenly dash backwards, away from his opponent, as soon as his feet had touched the ground, and not a moment too soon either, as the instant some space had been made between the two of them, VECTOR's knife would be swung through the empty air, effectively missing its mark: Shiki's throat.

Other than a small "Tch" sound, VECTOR showed little sign of being perturbed by missing his mark, instead using this time to advance forward and go on the offensive. Following the boy with his own dashes, VECTOR thrust his arm and knife forward, aimed straight at Shiki's heart. Fortunately, Shiki was a quick thinker, as demonstrated many a time before in the past. With deft reflexes, Shiki managed to evade the stab well enough. VECTOR would attempt to follow up his attack with another: shooting his pistol from the hip with a loud BANG that rang throughout the clearing, his gun aimed at the teenager's leg with the intent of slowing him down, but once again, Shiki was just faster on the draw, raising his leg and slamming it down into his adversary's arm, the kick effectively interfering with the aim and resulting in the bullet crashing into the ground below them.

In the heat of the moment, Shiki took this opportunity to get in a good hit, though remained on the defensive for now. If their speed was on par with each other, then he'd have to wait until the right time to use the kill-shot, so for now, he'd have to wear VECTOR down, and hope that he himself was not worn down first! With that said, with the purpose of creating some distance between the two of them, seemingly changing tactics compared to when the fight had started, the boy quickly moved and performed a swift, yet robust side kick.

THWACK!

VECTOR had been sent back a few feet. Any other person would have been knocked off their feet, but the man recovered quickly with his agility, leaning back and performing a few back flips from the kick's momentum. Despite the flashy display that seemed like he was left open, Shiki didn't move in. After all, looks can be deceiving. He had to be cautious with a foe as capable as this man was.

After getting back on his feet, his weapons still firmly gripped in his hands, the Umbrella lackey, his expression obscured by his mask, stared intently at Shiki, as though still completely absorbed in the fight. On the other hand, Shiki was a little out of it. Admittedly, he wasn't used to his fights lasting more than two minutes or so, as by then, his enemies, be them mindless zombies, the Crossed, the Chitauri, etc., were easily slaughtered much quicker than that. Pile that on top of Shiki's relatively weak constitution (despite the superhuman feats that his body was contradictingly capable of), and it was no wonder why it was sometimes a relief that his fights were hardly considered actual even fights.

"What's wrong, kid? Worn out already? And after all that big talk you had going on earlier too!" VECTOR taunted, beginning to slowly walk around, circling around Shiki like a predator cornering his prey.

"You... How are you so fast? I can imagine that in whatever world you and Wesker came from, magic isn't exactly a thing, unless you had outside help," the boy spoke in between short pants, attempting to use this break in the fight to catch his breath. It seemed that even despite the close quarter combat training that Sensei had given, prolonged fights just weren't his style. A shame, too. She had always thought he held a lot of promise, but was held back due to his body, but perhaps that was more because of the subconscious Nanaya training implanted into him when he was a child than anything else.

"Close, but no dice on the hypothesis. It's much less complicated than you might think, kid," VECTOR responded, shaking his head a little, "Wesker was as strong as he was because his body reacted to the viruses that he was injected with, and while we weren't able to exactly replicate the results to become exactly as strong as he was, I think you'll find it a little more than challenging to keep up."

"What a pain..." Shiki grunted, gritting his teeth as he stood up straight again, gripping his trusty knife, Nanatsu-Yoru, tightly. Times like these, he wished he had brought along Mikasa's sword with him, but he would have time to regret that later. After all, it wasn't like he was really expecting a fight on what was supposed to be this nice, peaceful journey of finding oneself. "Still... Just because you're stronger than you used to doesn't make me any less capable of defeating you, so don't get carried away, monster."

"My eyes... My childhood training... This power isn't something to boast about like your powers, so forgive me if I've misled you into thinking that they aren't something special. After all, if you could see death like I do everyday, you wouldn't be able to maintain your sanity."

Spoken like a mantra. Like something engraved into his mind.

It was just like when he was fighting Nrvnsqr Chaos all over again.

Someone who dared to think that they knew more about killing than he did. Someone who dared to think that they could kill him.

"You're forced to see just how fragile the world really is. Anything can die with a mere touch. A misstep. And at the end of the day, the only death that you'll be wishing for is your own. But the eyes will follow you, even into the root of Akasha. Not even death will be able to save you."

"Ordinary people can never know what I go through everyday. But I'll give you a taste, freak. Just for you. I'll show you..."

"I'll show you what it really means to kill something."

VECTOR, admittedly, was taken aback by the sudden speech. This bravado... Where did it come from? Just who was this kid anyway? He was more than just some other Progenitor, that was for sure! But whatever. It made no difference either way. The goal was to kill him, and despite whatever mindless babble the kid was going on about killing, that was going to be the result of this fight. He was going to make sure of it.

"If you have enough time to talk, then you have enough time to shut the hell up and die like a good little boy already!" The man exclaimed, getting back into the fight as he would aim his sidearm at Shiki, firing a number of bullets at him. With supersonic reflexes, the younger man ran forward, deflecting a few bullets that came his way with his knife, and evading the rest, nimbly zig-zagging through.

Guns were definitely not like how they were depicted in movies. The loud BANG noises that rang out when the pistol was shot was almost deafening. It didn't help that Shiki was getting closer and closer to the sound. The vibration that threatened to make him go deaf. The noise that almost made him lose his sense of sound. Or... Maybe the sensation of his ears popping was from him moving faster than sound itself, only for sound to eventually catch up to him with that as well.

Still, he refused to falter.

He refused to waver.

He had fought beings far more powerful than this man before. He had fought Nrvnsqr Chaos and Michael Roa Valdamjong, two powerful Dead Apostle Ancestors who had managed to give even Arcueid a run for her money, he had fought and beaten the freak of nature Jack Krauser, and of course, he played a part in downing the Arch Demon behind the Murder Games. He refused to go down at the hands of someone like this!

With resolve burning behind his Mystic Eyes, Shiki had come into VECTOR's range in no time, swinging the arm holding his knife forward with the intent of slicing his enemy's line of death that ran across his throat. Having predicted the maneuver, VECTOR easily enough reacted to the attack, stopping Shiki with his own knife, the two blades colliding each other with another sharp KLANK!

Their blades clashed against each other, wrestling for control. VECTOR was the first to pull away, quickly stepping back as his knife would slide off Shiki's, before coming around again and lunging his weapon forward, feinting a stab towards the heart, before suddenly turning the stab motion into a swing, his blade intending to pierce across the boy's chest. Seeing through the feint, Shiki would be able to skid back just in time, the air letting out a small RIIIP as the knife tore through his clothing, but fortunately for him, not his skin. However, taking no time to be relieved, Shiki prepared a counterattack, grabbing VECTOR's arm and attempting to hold it in place as he stepped into the assassin's space. Trying to ward Shiki off, VECTOR would point his other arm, still firmly clutching the firearm, at the boy, but he was one step ahead.

Shiki had fully intended on having VECTOR pull up his gun. When the soldier would pull the trigger, hoping to get a shot in on a vital area like the head, Shiki brought his free arm around, performing a swift inside-outside block motion that would result in him slamming his arm into VECTOR's, causing the pistol's aim to go off-course and the bullet hitting the ground yet again, but, realizing the danger of that weapon, Shiki wasn't done yet. He then followed up the block by bringing his leg into the air, and slamming it down into his enemy's hand, the power of the kick managing to knock the gun out of his hand, resulting in a low"Gnngh!" sound.

But that was fine.

Don't get cocky, you fucking brat!

Even without the gun, nothing had changed. The boy thought he got the upper hand, and that confidence was going to be his downfall. Though he was trying to hide it, VECTOR could see the fatigue on Shiki's expression. He was getting tired, and rather than conserving his energy in less strenuous moves, he was attempting to compensate with more moves in hopes of ending the fight as quickly as possible, though the pay-off wasn't as much as he would have liked. On the other hand, the armor that VECTOR wore managed to cushion any physical blows that had landed on him, so he was actually still faring better than Shiki would have hoped.

Shiki thought it only looked good because VECTOR let him. But now, that ended.

All that extra effort in a foolhardy attempt to compensate for and forget his lost breath was going to be the end of the Progenitor. That was what the man believed.

And he was right.

Shiki went in for another slice with his knife, another kill-strike, only to be deflected by VECTOR, the knives making small sparks as they bounced off each other. Still, Shiki didn't let up. Though the deflection had made him stumble back a few, he redirected his momentum and charged forward again with another slash, only to be deflected again. And again. And again.

KLANK! WHOOSH! SHHNK!

The pattern quickly became predictable to VECTOR, but not to Shiki, in his desperate need to end the fight. Continuously, Shiki dashed forward with a slice, usually from a different angle each time to avoid an effective counterattack, only to be deflected by VECTOR's own knife, knocking Shiki back a few, only for Shiki to maintain his speed and momentum by instead continuing to run backwards, and then spiral his way back to VECTOR. Rinse and repeat. Shiki had hoped that maybe he could do something surprising and perhaps try to jump over VECTOR and silt his throat from the air, or maybe throw the knife straight into his brain, but he would likely be able to react to that, given the enhancements from whatever drug he took, so he refrained.

And then, when the moment of opportunity came...

KRAKK! SHHK!

Shiki came to a halting stop, letting out a sharp gasp, when VECTOR would take his chance, having punched the boy straight in the solar plexus. The pain was enough to distract Shiki. The wind had been knocked out of him in an instant, he was suddenly sweating profusely before he knew it, and before he could recover, VECTOR took his chance, slashing at the boy's shoulder, before deftly crouching and sweeping Shiki off his feet, the boy landing into the soft, grassy ground with a small thud as he let out yet another pained grunt.

However, he wasn't done just yet. Not when his target was right where he wanted him.

With that, he would dash forward and slam his booted foot down into Shiki's arm, which held the knife in the hand, rendering the boy unable to resist as VECTOR then proceeded to stab his own blade straight into Shiki's shoulder, blood spurting out with a violent noise as the teenager let out a loud, pained yell.

"PATHETIC! This is all you have to offer, the boy who killed Krauser, huh? How disappointing. It's a miracle how someone as weak as you was able to survive against everything that you've faced, but then again, you did have a lot of help, hmm? It's only when you're all alone, all by yourself, that you realize just how powerless you really are. Isn't that right?!" VECTOR exclaimed, digging his knife even deeper into Shiki's shoulder.

"NnnGAAAGHHHH!" Shiki screamed, his teeth gritted painfully tightly as his arm was desperately scrambling to grab a hold of VECTOR's leg. However, the motion was interrupted when VECTOR's free hand would move forward and grip Shiki's neck, choking out the poor boy, leading Shiki's own other hand to end up grabbing VECTOR's hand, hoping to get him to stop choking him, his fingers practically digging into the armor, though to no avail. The lines of death on him... were so close! But... he couldn't reach them! Any of them!

"Sh... Shut up! Shut... Aaaaghhh!"

To the side, Len could barely watch her master like this. It was painful, agonizing, and she was unable to even imagine the pain that Shiki was feeling at that moment. Still, her master's orders were firm, and she was unable to disobey those orders; do not interfere, no matter what. But... If he really were to die here, despite his words, his promise, what then? What was she going to do then?

Len could only pray that she wouldn't have to answer that question.

As blood and oxygen began to leave Shiki's system the longer he was stabbed and choked, his body began to stop responding, his vision beginning to turn white as everything was lost to the boy.

---

At this point, Shiki Tohno couldn't even recall all the times that his life had dramatically flashed before his eyes, or when it seemed like he had passed out, only to wake up by some miracle, like a hallucination telling him that he had to get up.

Everything had gone black as quickly as it had gone white. And once again, Shiki Tohno was floating in nothingness. It felt like he was laying on something soft, like a cloud, but when he would turn his head to look, he only saw nothing. Just more blackness.

Ah... Did I die? Or... Am I just close to death? Shiki thought to himself, before mentally sighing, Hmm. Maybe it doesn't matter either way. Looks like I broke another promise. To Len this time.

Yes, what a shame.

But perhaps someone with such a defeatist personality deserved to drown in their self-pity and die like this. Maybe if he had been content with what he already had and just stayed home, maybe this would not have happened. But... Alas, like Icarus flying too close to the sun through his ambition, Shiki dared to find more meaning to his existence. He dared to want to find himself.

Once, there was a time when he had much more resolve. Resolve to fight. Resolve to live to fight. But... with the Arch Demon gone, the mastermind who had made so many people suffer, the mastermind who had made Mikasa suffer... He had lost the will to fight, even despite the premonition he had gotten that day. Despite that feeling of unease in the air that never left, Shiki had lost his will to fight, and decided that he wanted to just live again like he used to.

But the fact of the matter was that Shiki never realized... He never knew how to live. Even with the Arima family, he was always distant, and this showed with Miyako's attitude towards him. Even when he had moved back with Akiha and the maids, he had always been distant, but nobody realized it because he was fighting. He was fighting Chaos. He was fighting Roa. He was fighting to protect Yumizuka. And then after that, he was fighting the Crossed. Jack Krauser. Albert Wesker. John White. The Arch Demon. He was living by fighting. That was why nobody had noticed that he had always been distant.

So when there was nothing left to fight as far as he knew, he didn't know what to do.

Maybe this was the only way his life was ever going to end. Fighting. Struggling. Never finding peace.

"Ah, so you're back. Yo. How was the world of the living, Shiki? Was it as fun as I remember?"

And like that, the consciousness of Shiki Nanaya within had emerged with that ever playful tone, rising like a stalker about to find his prey. Standing on his feet, Nanaya walked over to Shiki, Shiki Tohno, that is, and looked down at him, his hands on his hips.

"So I see you bit the dust fighting some nobody. How pathetic. I should have completely taken you over when I had the chance," Nanaya spoke in a relaxed and mocking tone like usual, despite his almost genuine irritation for Tohno's setbacks.

Yeah... Sorry, Tohno could only reply curtly. The apology couldn't even be considered half-hearted, or even quarter-hearted, it was so pathetic.

"Well, no matter. Your body and spirit aren't necessarily dead yet, to be perfectly honest, but if you've lost the will to live, if you've just given up right here, I may as well be here so that we can die together. You and me, the birds of a feather who attract like opposites."

I guess so.

After all, he never should have gone looking for answers.

Answers that he didn't even know if they were there.

He never should have lied and told everyone that he was coming back.

People like Minato, Akiha, Hisui, Kohaku...

How anticlimactic for this to be the end of the road. There was so much he wanted to learn about, but... If this was how everything was going to turn out, then that was okay. He had been living off borrowed time anyway, so perhaps that time had finally caught up to him.

"Well, then! If you won't resist, then don't mind if I do!" Nanaya exclaimed, a large grin appearing on his features, before he would lean down and slam his hand into Tohno's neck, choking him out, though the boy didn't even so much as gasp. He simply let his other self, his true self, take its vengeance.

"Y'know, you really are scum of the Earth! And take it from a murderer like me!" He continued, now using both hands to choke Shiki, "You just leave the people you care about without so much as a "Sorry" or a "Goodbye," and now, you don't even care that you won't even get the chance to say that when you'd return! And then you lie to their faces when they do try to confront you about it! You're the worst of the worst! The lowest of the low!" Nanaya laughed gleefully, as though he had found a kindred spirit.

Sinners who did not deserve salvation.

"Don't you feel bad for it?! Don't you hate it?! C'mon! This is your last chance before you die! I'm waiting!"

Ah.

What was he going on about now?

Of course I hate it.

Who wouldn't?

Of course I regret it.

Who wouldn't?

Of course I feel bad.

But...

"But what?! You were just too scared to face them?! All in some delusion that you didn't know what you were living for?! You never went through the trouble of even having a talk with yourself, did you? On why you still lived, even if you didn't know how to live!"

But... There was nothing more to live for.

That was it.

"In that case, why did you keep living regardless?"

...

...

To that, Shiki Tohno had no answer at first. It was only then that he realized it.

I kept living because...

Shiki Tohno grabbed Nanaya's arm firmly.

He realized now why he kept living back then.

I kept living for the sake of Akiha. For Hisui's sake. For Kohaku's sake.

And now, he realized why he had to keep living as well.

So he resisted Nanaya's grip.

For Arcueid. For Ciel. For Len.

The moment of realization.

The time had come for him to realize his answer.

For Yumizkua.

It was only when he was so close to death that he realized why he had to remain alive.

So he pulled Nanaya's arm away from him.

For Mikasa.

...

"I see."

And so, Nanaya completely let go of Shiki's neck, standing straight up again, as though any sense of hostility he had before was suddenly gone.

"If that's the case, then keep living. Honestly, it really would be troublesome if you and this body were to die. I'm a little thirsty for blood. The blood of someone who's out for your blood."

That man. That's right. He hasn't killed me yet, has he?

"Yeah. He wants to take everything away from you. What a scumbag, hmm? What right does he have to do something like that, eh? Just who is he to try to do something like that?"

He's... nothing!

"Hmm? What was that? Say it a little louder. Right to his face."

...

---

You're...

"You're... YOU'RE NOTHING!"

So...

"So... GET OFF!"

"What... What the--?!"

KSSSSSH!

Instead of trying to resist VECTOR's grip on his neck, Shiki instead, with his free hand, had stabbed his own hand into VECTOR's stomach. The Mystic Eyes did not require a knife to trace the lines. That was never the case. But you would much rather use a knife than your own hand to chop up a banana, right?

"K-Kuhhh!"

In a mixture of surprise and pain, VECTOR's grip on Shiki almost faltered, but he tried his best to maintain his position. Still, Shiki was in a zone right now. A dangerous berserker zone in which he could easily ignore any pain that would come his way.

His resolve was able to make him forget the pain, and focus on the will to fight.

The desire to live.

"You're fucking... too late for second winds!"

I don't think so!

With quick thinking, Shiki reached over with his free arm, grabbing the knife that was in his other hand, trapped under VECTOR's leg, before having the blade face his enemy's wrist, violently, mercilessly slitting it multiple times, cutting through even the think armor, piercing deep enough to get the veins underneath, blood endlessly spouting out like a fountain from every slice!

"K-Khhhaaaaaaghhhh!"

With that, VECTOR finally let go of Shiki's neck and back off. Curling his legs in, as if to charge them, Shiki followed up by pushing his feet forward into the air, using both of his feet to send a powerful double kick into VECTOR's mask, sending him stumbling back even more. Following that move, the boy then agilely leapt to his feet, his opponent's knife still lodged in his shoulder. Perfect.

Just about ripping the knife out of his own shoulder, once again ignoring the pain despite the amount of blood coming out of his wound, Shiki, without a moment of hesitation, threw the knife right back at VECTOR, the blade piercing through and landing in VECTOR's own shoulder, Shiki throwing the knife like a baseball pitcher.

And then.

It was over with a...

Seventeen Divisions!

Fatality Strike!

And like that, it almost felt like time was slowed down. Moving through the air like the wind, Shiki Tohno used a technique that he had hoped he wouldn't have to use again.

He moved...

And then in the blink of an eye...

He was suddenly standing behind VECTOR.

The silence at first was deafening, but then, everything fell into place. Or rather, everything fell out of place for VECTOR. Suddenly, his body, or at least, what was left of it, fell apart, blood dirtying the once pristine grass around the area.

Seventeen pieces of VECTOR's body was all that remained.

It was all over.

But Shiki didn't even get a chance to relax. After using his Mystic Eyes for so long, of course he'd have to pay a price. His knees immediately gave way after he had realized what he'd done, and he vomited, remains of what he had eaten that day (mostly chocolate bars in order to ration the actual food he had) and then some, all over the grass. The poor vegetation was sure to suffer soon because of him and VECTOR.

"...!"

Rushing to his side in alarm, Len overlooked his body to make sure he was okay. But of course he wasn't okay! He had almost died out there, and even after he had won, he was hardly in any shape that could be described as "good!" Damn it all, she should have disobeyed him and helped him!

She patted him on the back twice, as if to ask "Are you okay?" in her own silent, verbal language, to which Shiki, after a few pants, would nod.

"I'm... I'm fine, Len. Don't worry about me. I'll live."

With an irritated look, as if to say "You certainly don't look okay!" or something like that, Len shook her head, while Shiki stumbled to his feet, taking a deep breath before digging one hand into his pocket to put his glasses back on, as any more usage of the Mystic Eyes was sure to damage his brain, and the other to apply pressure to his knife wound from earlier in an attempt to stop the bleeding.

Still, this situation was bad, no matter how much Shiki would be able to deny it. He was going to bleed out, and there wasn't anything to help him nearby. No hospital nearby. No medical supplies that had been packed. Nothing.

Len was almost in a panic, wondering what to do now, but it was then that Shiki, though exhausted as he might be, thought of an idea. Grimacing lightly as he looked at what remained of VECTOR's body, Shiki pursed his lips, and let out another breath.

"Say, Len... If he wasn't from this world... You don't think that means he has a way to go to other worlds on him, do you?"

 

[Ver]

Chapter 7 - The Ideal of Shiki Tohno

Spoiler

I had that dream again.

That the devil was watching me.

From the glass moon.

I could feel him in the crimson air.

The thing about dreams is that they're always so surreal. So many vaguely "real" images inside your head, no one image more "real" than the other, that tricks you into thinking and feeling so many different things. For example, the air. It felt red, like the fiery passion of blood heat running rampant, and yet, at the same time, it could also be descibed as... cool. The wind was little more than a refreshing breeze, and the temperature was just right; just a little above what one might consider cold, but it's a good thing you're protected by your clothing.

In this dream that was contradictingly warm, yet chilly, there was someone standing atop a hill. Alone.

The lonely figure who lived an eventful life, but awaited an empty death.

Atop that very hill was me.

With bandages running across my face, I was faced with two sides. In front of me was an empty hill, but a nice hill nonetheless. It was pristine. Untouched and undisturbed by the hands of man. The grass was alive, with a mild smell that reminded me of when I was a child, meeting Sensei for the first time.

But behind me was something different.

Behind me were the things I had left behind.

Atop the hill, I stood over the bodies of those that had died, while I lived. Behind me was those who had passed on, whether by my own hand, or a cruel twist of fate. Roa. Kishima. Yumizuka. Mikasa. The Arch Demon. Wesker. And what was also behind me was the sun, the symbol of what I had believed before. I had once believed that it was okay if I died, as it had always felt like I was living on borrowed time. "Just living is enough," I used to believe. And that way of thinking was what repelled people from me, explaining why I didn't have much friends back then, and yet, it was also what attracted some people towards me, mostly those who were also accustomed to death and experiences at looking into its eye, like Arcueid, Ciel-senpai, Mikasa, Arihiko, the like.

But that fight with the man from Umbrella changed everything.

I was never an ambitious person. Even as a kid, I never strived to be some superhero like other kids might have been. And yet, even though I wouldn't admit it to myself, perhaps a sort of martyr death, a heroic sacrifice, would have been a death I would have described as fitting for my kind of life. To give my own life in order to make sure others don't have theirs taken. But that's just not how it works.

In a way, I guess you could say that that encounter with the man made me realize something.

It can't be helped if you're scared to die. In fact, it's better that way if you live such a dangerous life. You have people waiting for you at home, don't you? If so, then it's rather selfish and cruel of you to think that your life doesn't matter, right? And in that fight, I realized it just in the nick of time as my life flashed before my eyes.

I once thought that it would be okay if I died, but then I realized that it wouldn't.

If I died, my friends and family would mourn me, and while that was something I had once expressed trouble at believing, I've accepted the truth that one day, I will die, and I will be mourned, so that's why it's not enough to "just" live. I need to live it to the fullest. More than that, if I died, the man from before would have achieved his objective of killing me, his talk of "Progenitors" and other nonsense sounding quite sinister, and though I would say something about how I could never let evil run so rampantly, the line between "good" and "evil" has since become blurred, not that I would ever call that man any sense of good. But perhaps the easiest thing to say is that I would hate to give that man the satisfaction of winning against me.

Call me conceited or childish if you want, but I just don't like losing when I can help it.

And it was in that moment when I lay on death's door, at the mercy of evil, that I realized that I did not want to die. I was scared to die. That was it. That was the thing that I had been looking for all this time. The will to live.

I had finally found it.

The desire to live my life to its fullest.

There was no "how to live" or any nonsense like that. As long as I wanted to live, I lived. But even so, my journey isn't over just yet.

That was why... Even though I had found what I was looking for, I still couldn't go back home just yet. There was still something I needed to do before I would be able to truly live with myself.

Until then, until I apply the ideal of a good life to myself, I have to fight one more time.

In the dream, I saw myself take a step toward the pristine grassland, before freezing in my tracks for whatever reason. I waver a bit, my muscles wavering between taking another step forward and taking a step backward for whatever reason.

I still don't know what it meant.

Maybe this dream is something that could have been realized elsewhere.

Maybe it was in a world set a long, long time after everything.

---

When Shiki came to, waking up after inexplicably blacking out sometime before, he had found himself in something of a strange Medical Bay, as could be assumed from the exam tables nearby, one of which he was laying on top of, and of course, the "Med" word on the ceiling.

Yes, that was probably it.

It had that distinct "hospital" like smell that couldn't really be described any other way. Perhaps it was through the sterilized air, the overly clean surface that he was laying on, the steady beeps of whatever machines were working in the background, the... scary box of syringes.

Yeah. This was definitely some sort of med bay.

"... Hm."

Scratching his head with an arm that was... surprisingly unscathed, which was strange given how wounded he was right after the fight from before, Shiki tried to piece together what he remembered before passing out, and how he got here, wherever "here" even was. Let's see... Before, he was fighting that man who called himself VECTOR, and he just barely managed to win, resorting to the Nanaya technique that had never failed him, much to his chagrin.

The Seventeen Divisions.

The very same technique that killed Arcueid when he first met her. This technique that would end up having him spiral into a bizarre world full of demons, vampires, gods, and whatever else was out there within the greater multiverse.

After defeating the bad man, let's see... Len was really mad... and...

Ah, yes. That was it.

Given Shiki's wounds, he would likely have been long dead before he'd be able to find the nearest clinic, considering he was in the middle of God knows where, so he used the next best thing. The device that VECTOR had used to travel through worlds. The means that had been used to find Shiki Tohno in the first place.

Of course, even in a bloody, delirious state, Shiki knew that traveling to find a specific world wasn't as easy as typing "hospital" into a GPS system. But fortunately, there was an easy list of different worlds to travel to, with convenient little identifying names, probably personalized by VECTOR himself, such as Fallout Alpha, Mass Relay, and...

"Coalition Headquarters."

Without missing a beat, without even stopping to question what a man from Umbrella was doing with a device that led to this place, Shiki pressed the button to confirm the destination.

And then he had blacked out from here.

To be honest, Shiki had never actually set foot into the Coalition HQ, so it wasn't like he'd even know if he were actually there without someone to tell him. Which was a shame, because that seemed to be the exact scenario. It felt like the Med Bay, at the very least, was empty, since there was absolutely no one nearby to assuage his--

Rub rub.

...

"Eh?"

Shiki's train of thought was suddenly interrupted when something strange would happen. A pair of soft, gloved hands had gently taken his leg and rubbed it up and down,

What--

"Hmm... Nice leg," a feminine voice mused as whoever was touching Shiki's leg continued to feel him up, the woman in question not seeming to have much regard for societal norms on where it's okay to touch a person of the opposite gender. Then again, given the nature of the multiverse, maybe this was a perfectly normal greeting from her world and--

Like hell this is normal anywhere!!

"H-Hey, what are you...?! Get off! W-Who the hell are you and why are you--?!" Shiki began to exclaim, attempting to push the strange woman away, only for her to deftly catch his hand in her own.

"Gehehehe... And what a nice, healthy hand..." The woman only said with a low, unnerving chuckle, causing Shiki to pull away from her grasp. What the hell was going on here?!

"Get off already, crazy lady! I'll ask again, who are you?! Where am I?!"

"Tch... You're no fun," the strange woman only said with a somewhat annoyed expression, before standing up. She was around Shiki's height, though if he had to be more specific, he'd estimate that she was just a few inches shorter... A strange note, as he figured an older woman, at least, that was how she looked, would be taller, but then again, it was a rarity to meet a girl taller than 5'7 where he came from.

Actually.

Wait a minute, if he had the brain function to think about height and not the pain, then that meant that--

"Anyway, I'm done playing around, if you so insist. Akiko Yosano, though you can just call me Akiko," the woman introduced herself, crossing her arms, "I'm the one who patched you up when you were found half-dead right smack in the middle of the base. How'd you even find a place like this anyway, little mister...?"

"I... My name's... Shiki. Shiki Tohno," the bespectacled young man said, introducing himself in return, before sitting up and for the first time getting a real chance to examine his body. "Patched up," to take from her words, implied that there were things used to patch up his body, like... y'know, bandages, gauze, all that stuff. But the weird part was... There was nothing at all on Shiki's body. No bandages, no gauze... And yet, even the wounds were gone as well.

Guess this was the miracle of magic healing powers from the greater multiverse.

And then came a lightbulb moment.

Aha. Then that means that...

"... I'm in the Coalition base, huh?"

"Sure are. You look and sound like this was an accident. Speaking of which... I'll ask again. How did someone like you end up here anyway? Secret bases aren't exactly places that we advertise openly, and a quick scan through active Coalition members indicates that you're not a member, Tohno."

"Look me up under people who fought the big scary Arch Demon," Shiki grunted, sitting up on the exam table, getting a better look at his body. Shame that his clothes were still torn up, but at least his wounds were all miraculously healed.

I'm not arrogant or anything, but I would have hoped at least one person would know who I am here, Shiki thought somewhat sardonically. But it couldn't be helped.

"Anyway... How I got here is... a long story. But first, I came here with a familiar. A familiar who takes the appearance of a little girl. She wouldn't happen to be... around, would she?"

"Oh, the little cutie there?" Akiko inquired, pointing at a nearby chair, where Len would be seen peacefully sleeping.

"... Zzz."

"I'll give her one thing. She can really sleep through a lot."

"Yeah... She sure can," Shiki nodded, shifting his position so that he would sit up, taking a breath.

"In any case... About this long story of yours, I'm all ears. After all, considering how badly beaten, bloody, and mangled up you were, it's bound to be an exciting one, hmm?~" Akiko said with an uneasy interest in the boy's story, as well as his condition... for some reason.

Her misplaced enthusiasm made Shiki understandingly hesitant to elaborate, but he did owe her an explanation. So he told her about what happened.

About how he was away from home, on a little personal journey, and how he subsequently encountered VECTOR, a man from the Umbrella Organization that had once been led by Albert Wesker, one of the first "Masterminds" of any Murder Game, and how the assassin had referred to him as a "Progenitor," though it didn't seem that Akiko knew what that term meant either, unfortunately.

Fortunately enough, Ms. Yosano seemed to be a surprisingly good listener if nothing else. Unbeknownst to Shiki, she was actually usually the type who was disinterested in other's life stories, but of course, there was one thing that piqued her interest enough to make her listen.

"One thing you didn't mention though... If I may, what exactly was this soul-searching journey about anyway?" The woman inquired, causing Shiki to purse his lips for a brief while. Though her face seemed disinterested, her tone, contradictorily enough, seemed quite intrigued. Gah. Why were women difficult to read like this?

Regardless, he didn't exactly want to confide in who was basically a stranger about his life issues, but on the other hand, it'd be nice to confide with someone at least.

Ah, what the hell. What could possibly go wrong?

Of course, when one asked that, everything was bound to go wrong. Everything. Even the things that he couldn't even fathom would go wrong. In this regard, one could say it was just like Murphy's Law. A bad omen that summoned the will of that law.

"Ah... Well, it's a little personal, but... Yosano-san, tell me one thing before I answer that question. What do you think of people who... can't bring themselves to appreciate life? Not evil people who are able to take away lives on a whim, but just... Ordinary people who just happen to be unable to recognize the value of life, y'know?" He inquired, scratching the back of his head lightly.

"I guess what I'm trying to say is... What would you think of the kind of person who would cannot appreciate the value of his own life? And it was through this way that he hurt those that he cared for, even though he never meant to."

Akiko remained silent for a small while, her expression almost stiffening a bit as Shiki spoke, almost as though she had quite an opinion forming in her head, before becoming more passive-faced like before, and then proceeding to answer when she had formed one.

"I think... If that person cannot appreciate the value of life, then he should just die," Akiko suddenly said seriously, unperturbed by the sudden odd question that Shiki would pose.

In fact, if anyone, it was Shiki that was taken aback by the response.

"Life is... a precious gift," she started simply, "And if people can't bring themselves to be grateful that they are alive, no matter how bad it might be, then they simply don't deserve it. Because no matter what, there's always something to live for, be it the people around you, what you believe in, and more."

"They can say they don't like their life because of all the pain they may go through, but... Pain is proof that you're alive. And knowing that you're alive is one of the best feelings ever. In that regard, those two feelings really are different sides of the same coin. Therefore, it's impossible to live a fulfilled life without pain. After all, how can you say you've lived it to the fullest if you haven't encountered the most commonly lingering thing about it? So... To answer your question, I could never understand that kind of person, but if I ever met someone like him... I'd say that he may as well just die already if he can't feel anything over it."

"Perhaps it's hypocritical, or rather, counter-productive, as a nurse like me who specializes in saving lives, to say that a person who cannot appreciate life should die, and there are likely plenty of people who loved their life, yet it had to end so quickly. That's why I just hope there aren't many people like that. I don't only save lives after all. I make sure that whoever I treat values their life."

A small, scary looking smile appeared on Akiko's features again, like when she had her hands on Shiki's hand just a few minutes earlier.

"Making sure they appreciate the life given to them is the fun part... Gehehehe..."

Shiki felt 48% less safe all of a sudden.

Either way, long rant over. Once that was done, Akiko would clear her throat, wisen up, and glance in the boy's direction curiously.

"So why do you ask?"

Gulp. Shiki pursed his lip uncomfortably, before replying reluctantly.

"Well... You see, I was once that kind of person."

...

"Ah."

Akiko suddenly became much more judgmental looking. That was about the reaction Shiki had expected, so he couldn't really say he was surprised.

"I see."

"Yeah... The kind of dirtbag who hurt others around him, those who loved him... I left because I didn't wanna hurt them anymore. Though I did promise that once I figured out how to better myself, I'd be back as soon as I possibly could."

Shiki wasn't paying attention to Akiko's big machete on the nearby counter.

"You say that... But if you didn't want to hurt them at all, then wouldn't it have been the best course of action to just not leave them?"

"Well, you said it yourself, didn't you? Pain is something that's essential to life. As essential as happiness. You can't attain long-term happiness if you aren't willing to sacrifice short-term happiness, right?" The young man inquired, "I made a choice... and a promise. And I want to be able to keep my word. Just once. Just this once," Shiki said, his hands balling into fists.

There had been many times where he was unable to live up to his promises in the past. Many times where he had betrayed the faith of those who believed in him.

Like when he promised to protect Yumizuka.

Like when he promised that he would be able to look upon the full moon with Mikasa one more time.

But he would not break the promise to come back home. He was done breaking his word, whether because of his own inaction or the sinister plots of others.

For once in his life, Shiki Tohno was going to make sure that he would be the one in control of his own life.

"Point made. Normally, I don't care for such stories, but I'll humor you. What happened in any case?" Akiko simply replied with a brief sigh, leaning against a nearby work table.

"..."

His expression shifting to a more somber one, one that almost seemed to be his signature look by now, Shiki briefly reflected on the things that had happened in his life that had led him to this point. Seemed like he had been doing that a lot these days. Perhaps too much so.

"Ever since I was a kid, I was never that scared of death. Or rather, in some weird way, maybe I was more paranoid of death than others were, despite how nonchalant I'd normally act about everything," He began, putting his hands in his lap, shifting his sitting position slightly, "Just living was enough. That was my motto. I used to have anemia, y'know, so I used to be really weak and almost always on death's door. While people saw death as a scary reaper, I saw it like the neighbor across the street, looming over at any given moment. With the... powers that I have, I'm forced to see the fragility of the world around me, and I came to terms with it."

"But... I never realized that all that time I spent thinking about death, I never realized how to live. How to live my life like a normal person. Free of fighting monsters and demons on a regular basis. Just... being a normal person. I guess it was because I haven't been normal in a long time, but... Once the days of fighting monsters were over for the time being, the days of being unable to live like everyone else does caught up to me, it seems," Shiki continued, taking a brief breath, before continuing again, "I couldn't live with myself if I was gonna end up hurting those I cared for like this, so I bailed. To try to find what I had been missing all this time, and then come back as soon as I find it."

"And so I did. The will to live. I realized that it was okay to fear death. It's one thing to not fear it when you have nothing to lose, and I had always believed that I was that kind of person, but I'm not. I see that now. I have things to lose, which is why I'm scared of dying now. I don't want to lose what has been in front of me all this time, that I just realized. My family is... important to me! They're people I don't want to live without, just as they don't want to be without me. I thought there was some greater purpose, greater meaning to life, but now... I realize that the greatest thing you can do in life is be with the ones you love. Because it's something anyone can do. It's something that's so common, yet so commonly taken for granted. Like I did."

"Once I come home, I'll tell them everything about the journey. Why I left, and what I managed to find."

"I'd hope so. It's not good to live the kind of lifestyle that's plagued by the decision to keep things from people, rather than be honest with them. I guess the message that you already understand is... Don't let your fear of changing everything overwrite the will to change anything."

"Yeah, something like that..."

"Indeed, when you hesitate, you not only hurt yourself, but those around you, whether it be an issue about yourself or others, that you need to confront to yourself or others," an unfamiliar male voice spoke out from the corner. Turning his head to the direction of the voice's source, Shiki observed a blonde, fairly tall man, standing at 6'2, sporting a ponytail and glasses, right at the door.

Briefly adjusting his glasses, something that Shiki thought he himself had a bad habit of doing, the older man, with a stern expression, continued to speak upon being spotted.

"A pleasure to meet one of the people who partook in the Arch Demon's Downfall. Tohno, was it? Yes, I think I remember your name popping up occasionally in some of the old incident reports," the man spoke, crossing his arms behind his back in a formal manner.

"Doppo Kunikida, by the way," he simply introduced himself.

Shiki pursed his lips a little uncomfortably.

A pleasure to meet me, he says, but he... actually looks annoyed for some reason.

...

I'm really feeling the warm welcome between him and Ms. Yosano.

"I hope that our trusty doctor hasn't been giving you too much trouble?" The man named Doppo continued when Shiki wouldn't immediately respond to the introduction.

"Huuuuh? It's a sin to have a little fun with my patients now?" Akiko grunted, placing her hands on her hips in an annoyed manner.

"You have too much fun with your patients."

"Tch. For your information, the kid was already half-dead when we found him, so I didn't actually get to do anything before getting the chance to heal him up," the woman shot back, the banter between her and Doppo only unnerving Shiki, as though they quickly forgot he was even there.

Doppo let out an exasperated sigh, briefly scratching the back of his head, before clearing his throat and focusing his gaze on Akiko and Shiki again.

"In any case, if you're done chatting, I guess I should show you around, Mr. Tohno. Headquarters is a big place after all. It'd be uncouth if we didn't show our guest some hospitality, after all. And believe me, Akiko only pretends to be hospitable."

"I heard that."

---

Very quickly, Shiki learned that Doppo was not a very enthusiastic tour guide, despite the fact that the older man was the one who offered to guide in the first place. People were complicated, he found. For every area that Shiki was introduced to, the blonde man said rather simple phrases, never wasting a breath as he would say things like "This is the Simulation Room" and "This is the Observatory" or "This is the Gateway Room" for every area, before finishing up at the Recreational Area, and lo, he finished off with a flat, resounding "This is the Recreational Area."

Charming.

Forcing out a pleasant, yet visibly uncomfortable smile, Shiki attempted to address what he perceived to be the elephant in the room with an almost passive-aggressively polite way.

"Y-Y'know, even though you said it was a pleasure to meet someone like me, Mr. Kunikida, the way you act almost seems to indicate that you... didn't actually mean that," he said with a light, awkward chuckle, though Doppo's expression hardly changed.

It had been a while since he was in this kind of social situation. By extension, it had been a while since he interacted with other people in class. Damn, whatever happened to being a normal high school student anyway? Not that he ever seemed to really be one of those.

"Well, it's not that I don't like you. It's just that your sudden appearance has messed up my intended schedule for the day, so I've had to put some of my mental focus into revising that schedule," Doppo said with a surprisingly direct expression, one that Shiki did not expect to be replied to with. The more he thought about it, the more it seemed that Doppo actually did seem to lack any actual dislike for the boy, and it was more... disinterest? Well, that was just a little less insulting, but he'd take it.

"I... I see," he could only respond uneasily, a bead of sweat almost threatening to appear on his forehead.

Briefly scratching his temple after that pleasant exchange, Shiki would decide to enter the Recreational Library, admittedly quite interested in it. Truth be told, he wasn't overly familiar with the Coalition, only that they were the group of people dedicated to stopping the Murder Games, as he found out when he allied with them on the daunting quest to fight the Arch Demon.

Good times.

The boy spent a few moments searching through the books, most of them seeming to be digital books like from a science fiction movie or so, before Doppo would eventually clear his throat, intending to speak more about something.

"So... about how you got here, Mr. Tohno," he began, speaking in a formal tone as ever, "You claim that you picked up a multiversal transportation device off a person who attacked you in your home world, and one of the locations that this man, who you also say was a part of the Umbrella Organization led by the late Albert Wesker of the Crossed Incident, happened to be the location of HQ. Doesn't that strike you as just a tad suspicious?"

The sudden question, as well as the realization that Shiki had never thought about before, caused him to blink. Scratching a cheek with his finger, he produced a reply.

"Yeah... I guess it does, come to think of it," he nodded, holding his chin in thought, "Maybe he took it off a Coalition member that he happened to be in the same world as at the time, or uh..."

The situation was odd. Doppo raised a good point; why did an Umbrella operative have a device that could allow him to travel to Coalition HQ with pre-meditated coordinates? In other words, why did he have a device that had been used before in the past to travel to HQ?

"... Or perhaps there's a mole in the organization," the man said, revealing his personal thoughts on the matter, "Mr. Tohno, your rather sudden appearance has materialized a frightening possibility about our organization that I need to talk over with the higher-ups. In the meantime, I'd recommend that you... enjoy your stay here. I wouldn't want to feel like I'm being forced to trap you here until the situation is resolved, but... Well, with an organization like this, we can't take any risks. Powerful allies breeds even more powerful enemies. Not like back in my home world..."

"I see. It can't be helped then," Shiki said, pursing his lips slightly. Even though he didn't actually plan on going back home just yet, a sense of unease over the horizon as though something was coming having always been present that Shiki felt he would be able to confront if he were here, it still felt... well, like he was being trapped, to take from Kunikida-san's words.

It'd be annoying if he were also suddenly going to be accompanied by some people to put him under close watch, but hopefully, it wouldn't come to that.

After all, it would just be unlike the Coalition to decide to detain people against...

...

Somehow, he felt like he should stop talking right now.

Perhaps taking the words better than expected, Shiki would let out a breath, rubbing his temple with one hand and placing the other on his hip. "In any case, I'll just be here. In fact... I might end up sleeping over in this place. There's... a lot of stuff I wanna read up. May as well really get to know the place, y'know?"

"... Right," Doppo nodded, silently turning around and walking off with that, without even so much a goodbye.

Well. All that was quite sudden. But he couldn't even really call him rude... or could he?

---

The most recent "incident report," as they seemed to be called and ordered by chronology rather than alphabetical like the other sections, was called "The Fall of Elliot." Ah, so that was the name of the so-called mastermind who tried to usurp the place of the Arch Demon, huh?

Not a very threatening name. Elliot.

Speaking as someone who had fought monsters who went by names such as Nrvnsqr Chaos, the Serpent of Akasha, the Arch Demon, and so on, something as banal as "Elliot" just doesn't make the cut for him.

Let's see... the Multiverse Hotel Incident, huh? Hmm, looks like most of it is "classified," as can be inferred by the black sharpie everywhere in the report. One had to wonder what happened in there.

Quickly skimming through the reports proved to be less thrilling than Shiki had expected, as quite a few of them, notably the "Ghirahim Incident," were somewhat... uneventful. However, from the "Fiamma Incident" and the "Witch's Game" reports, he found a name that interested him a little bit.

"Princess Ilona."

It wasn't so much the name that interested him, or even the lack of a surname, but the fact that, under "additional information" that was available for any of the other "participants," it had stated that her place of origin was called "Arendelle." The word was vaguely familiar to Shiki, and it gave him an idea. One that would probably be either great or bad if it were to come true.

So he put the reports up and walked over to the very first entry.

The Crossed Incident.

If his hunch was true, then he had to be sure of it.

He had to be sure.

The Crossed Incident. An event that had changed his life forever. An event that changed many lives forever. An event that shook the multiverse.

An event that he was in. An event that one Queen Elsa of Arendelle was also in.

...

Flip. Flip. Flip. Flip. Flip.

Shiki, in some rush brought about by alarm, just about dropped the E-book of the Crossed Incident, not bothering to pick it up as he would rush to the side, picking out the next incident that had came to mind. The last time he had seen that woman alive. The Fall of the Arch Demon.

Flipflipflipflip.

And that was where he saw the truth.

"Ilona, once princess of the land Arendelle, is currently missing in action. Her existence may or may not be of some significance to our enemies."

...

The sentence was burned into his mind. Like a brand on the brain, he couldn't believe it. Even as he intently stared at the sentence, he refused to. Like his eyes were refusing to comprehend the words that they were reading. And yet, here it was.

He had never been very close to the woman, admittedly, but he'd be damned if he ever forgot her. During the Crossed Incident. During the Fall of the Arch Demon. He took pity on her, one who he saw as a once pure soul scarred by the Murder Games. Seemed that Sir Solaire managed to deliver a baby to her, but... The side comments of "Monitor activity" and "Keep watch" when it came to Ilona's additional info on the Fiamma Incident and the Witch's Game made him wary.

Was the fact that she was born indirectly through the dawn of the Murder Games something to do with it? This inferred paranoia that the boy could sense from the digital pages of the E-book? Was there something... special about her that she didn't want to be special?

Tch.

From a "symbolic" point of view, this could almost be considered humorous. Fear what was created through something you fear, despite the fact that those who birthed her were full of hope. Hope for the future that everything would turn out right. And many people were betrayed by that hope.

But sometimes, one must keep believing, because it is all they have.

Hope may punish, but it can also reward.

At this very moment, there was nothing Shiki Tohno knew that he could do, but he could guess one thing.

Something was going to happen on its own eventually.

And he'd have to be ready for it.

---

It hurt being away from home.

But he knew that it was for the best.

Usually, the Observatory of the Coalition displayed a pitch black window. A testament to the patch of emptiness that headquarters seemed to just sorta float in the middle of. To Shiki, it symbolized isolation. Total disconnection from other worlds as much as it was connected to them.

Looking out the empty window, Shiki Tohno, for the first time in quite a while, really felt like he was away at home. He felt like he was homesick.

And yet, it was in front of this empty window that he felt closer to home than ever before.

I said it was nothing, and shut my mouth
The truth is, I kinda wanna stop my legs
But you're gliding forward with such quick steps
That I simply watch

Looking back, Shiki never did feel "at home" with the others. Even after defeating the Arch Demon. Even before that. And even before losing Yumizuka. In a light sense of the word, he could be described as some sort of misanthrope. But that was okay. If people cared for him, then all he needed to do was to care for them back. That's all.

That's what he believed at the time anyway.

With that said, he had many chances to say something. To speak up about what he had been feeling or not feeling at the time. But he kept his mouth shut and kept moving forward. He didn't want to, but he kept on moving. He didn't know why. He didn'thave to, did he? There was no need for a rush.

Unless perhaps he was trying to escape, but from what? Perhaps he was trying to escape uncertainty in general, but even Shiki could never hope to really truly understand how he had been back then, let alone who he was now and who he would be in the future.

But Shiki would not be scared anymore of the unknown.

It was time he confronted whatever it was that he feared.

---

On the last train, you board, leaving me behind
And I start to run. The ground is slowly going out of place
I shouldn't cry, I shouldn't cry
But the truth that I want to say
"Don't go"

"..."

And yet, it seemed that Shiki did take the chance. The very last chance to leave. It seemed fitting of him to do that, Akiha would tell herself as some sort of half-hearted defense mechanism to protect herself from breaking down on the spot once again. Even when they were children, Akiha had always felt that Shiki was somehow... distant. Even when he'd invite her to play, when he'd smile with Hisui, it felt like he was just somewhere else somehow. It was not something that one could simply describe to an outsider. Family intuition was something that resided in one's gut, after all.

No matter how much she'd try to catch up, she could never reach her dear brother, nor could Hisui or Kohaku. It was as though he were someplace else, someplace that even he didn't know about. And it frustrated her to no end that he would pretend that everything was alright that way. That was why she had snapped at him that day... and before she knew it, he had run away. It was all her fault.

"Nii-san... I'm so sorry..."

With a soft voice, Akiha tried her best to keep from shedding any more tears. She couldn't cry again. Not again. Now now. Not this time. She had to be strong. If Hisui's words were true, that Shiki promised that he would definitely come back someday, Akiha had to remain strong for him until then. After all, one thing Shiki would say that he hated above most things was the sight of a crying girl who needed help, as it pained him.

So she wouldn't burden him by making his possible fears of her sadness come to light. Even still, it hurt a lot. It hurt to know that he had left because of her, and nothing would change that, no matter how much coaxing that Kohaku would attempt.

But even so.

Akiha Tohno tried her best not to cry. Some days, she'd be successful in that, and others, not so much, but she would keep trying her best to stay strong. And yet, being strong was so tiring. She knew that it was a useless gesture to think of the past, and think over what could have been done to fix mistakes, but even so, she wanted to just say one thing, and maybe none of this would have transpired.

"Don't go..."

---

You fade out of sight far away, leaving me behind
I can't see you anymore as the night crumbles
I shouldn't cry, I shouldn't cry
But the truth that I want to say
"Don't go"

It was too late to hope that Shiki Tohno would not leave.

He was already gone. Far away, in a place where she would truly never be able to reach him. He was the one who would have to do the reaching. That was why Shiki made a promise to himself, to Akiha, to Hisui, to Kohaku, to Arcueid, to everyone. He would come back. He would definitely come back.

Under the blue glass moon in the crimson air, Shiki Tohno vowed that soon, he would be able to live in that world again.

Once he fought for what he believed in one last time, he would be able to live like a man, rather than as just a murderer. Whatever was looming on the horizon, Shiki knew was going to be dangerous, but he wasn't scared. He wasn't here to die. He was going to find out if he was ever alive.

He would take what he wanted with his own two hands, the desire to live, to find out what it is like to live, and treasure it deeply. With this, he decided that he would no longer bind himself by simple terms or descriptions. He would become what he wanted, and he would take this life and make what he wanted out of it.

After all, perhaps one of the greatest gifts one can be given is the ability to forge one's own path in life.