The worst genie ever

granted, but now you can't read

I wish for all of my wishes to come out exactly how I want them to.
 
Granted, but you've lose the ability to make wishes that would actually help anyone or anything.

I wish someone would set my head on fire.
 
Granted. Your penis head is now on fire! ;) Enjoy.

I wish I could stop wishing.
 
granted, but now you have no dreams and must live a long and dreary life

I wish I was human!
 
Granted. You are a dragon with a very bad, fat, slobby ass. Its so big and fat it keeps you grounded, un-able to fly at all.

I wish a random wish.
 
Granted, your ass grows in size and scope to swalow your vhole body, you can no longer breathe at all, and you die. Your epitaf says: "Here lies the baddest ass in history"

I wish to unwish any and all wishes ever wished!
 
Granted, but that means the wish you just wished got unwished, so all of the unwished wishes get re-wished except for your wish, which remains unwished.

I wish I could talk to animals.
 
Granted, but you can only move forward, never backward.

I wish that I could sleep for a year and be 100% fine when I woke up.
 
Granted, but the apocalypse happened while you were sleeping, so you're the only one left when you wake up.

I wish I were a professional skateboarder.
 
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Granted, your a professional skateboarder.

What?

Yes, a normal wish. The worst genie is the one who wil suprise you vith a normal wish evry now and then, to keep you off-guard! *evil grin*

I wish to be a wish.
 
Granted. You're used once in a painful process to mess up someone you love's life and then you cease to exist. Happy wishing, everyone!

I wish that I would always have someone who adored me around, and that they'd be eager to help me with anything at all.
 
Granted. You have a stalker who is very persistent and knows everything about you and gets you things before you think of getting them and does things for you in your sleep around your house.

I wish that some good homeless person will get a good and stable job.
 
Granted. Thing is, said job is as a hitman and they are picking off your family one by one.

I wish to be a Pokémon trainer with all my favourite Pokémon in my team.
 
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