The worst genie ever

[Raynar Saassin]

Granted, but it was a replica, not the real thing.

I wish for Immortality!

 

[Beebasaur]

Granted. You are now immortal but your body still ages normally.

I wish for a better ocarina

 

[Ink_Rain]

Granted, but you lose it a day after you get it.

I wish for a tea.

 

[Raynar Saassin]

Granted, but it was super hot.

I wish for the ability to read minds.

 

[lil_kreen]

Granted, you get several hundred books of thoughts mailed to you daily.

I wish for a neutron star.

 

[Ninasilverrose]

Granted. But you will be blind.
I wish for a book

 

[Beebasaur]

Granted. The book is completely destroyed and completely illegible

I wish I could turn invisible

 

[lil_kreen]

Granted. You're incapable of seeing light or being heated by infrared.

I wish for Papa Nurgle to cleanse the third world.

 

[Ninasilverrose]

Granted, but it will be cleansed only once a year.

I wish for a best friend.

 

[Beebasaur]

Granted. But they are a total jerk.

I wish my wish was an actual wish.

 

[Ninasilverrose]

Granted. It will never come true.

I wish for a crystal.

 

[Ashanna]

Granted! You get one sodium crystal.

I wish for a cup of tea.

 

[Ninasilverrose]

Granted! It is very bitter.

I wish for food

 

[lil_kreen]

Wish granted, you are made of food.

I wish for a humanburger bun.

 

[Ninasilverrose]

Granted. It is A foot high.

I wish for a person.

 

[lil_kreen]

Wish granted, you are pregnant with a sentient canid.

I wish political donations were illegal

 

[Ninasilverrose]

Granted. You are one of the last donations.

I wish for peace.

 

[Ashanna]

Granted! All humans on earth disappear. Peace on earth achieved.

I wish for a personal rocket ship to fly into space.

 

[Lucky]

Wish granted! The rocket doesn't fly though. You didn't ask for it to fly and it is an additional charge... along with making it stable. It explodes.

I wish for a lamp.

 

[Night ও]

Granted. The lamp comes with no light bulb.

I wish for world domination.