The worst genie ever

Granted. Instead you get first hand embarrassment from stuff you do IRL! ;)

I wish for an astropop - you know, the stripey ones on a wooden stick? So Hooot here
 
Granted! Your astropop is poisoned and would kill you to eat it.

I wish for a never-ending supply of fresh Sour Patch Kids candies. (NOT THE TROPICAL KIND)
 
Granted! But it's a single never ending candy that gets super sticky in your hand

I wish for a new fwiend uwu (idek if I'm sorry for that or not lol)
 
Granted. A day later, a competely unrelated stupid thing happened and you cannot get over it.

I wish people who receive my emails see it right away and respond on time.
 
Grqnted! You get seven million emails from the person you want to reply, all completely unrelated

I wish for my dog to walk well on a leash
 
Granted! He walks a little too well and runs off, ripping the leash from your hand.

I wish for a better keyboard because this one is floppy, unresponsive, doesn't have a cmd key, doesn't have volume controls, and doesn't have the key I use all the time to change windows.
 
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Granted. You have keyboard with all these features. In fact, someone is nice enough to perfectly arrange all the keys in alphabetical order, complete with mapping. Also, it is design to resist all forms of damage and alteration, so that's a plus.

I wish I have a compatible charger to charge my laptop with.
 
Granted! You get a compatible charger but it charges so well that it causes your computer to overheat and crash!

I wish for more cloudy days
 
Granted! You don't catch even a glimpse of the sun for two weeks and all your grass dies.

I wish for the bestest kitten ever
 
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Granted. You now have the nicest, cutest, and healthiest kittens (because one is not enough). The other cats that began to visit them, though, are another story.

Anyways, I now wish for my phone to run apps at an optimal speed without wasting any battery.
 
Cool, you can do that! But your Wifi doesn't work for any of those apps; in fact, when you're using an app, it shuts down every Internet connection in a thousand mile radius.

I wish I could time travel freely.
 
OOOOH fun!

Granted. you are instead loaded with work, but you are unable to BE exhausted!!

I wish that I had someone to love.
 
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