pandakatiefominz
Wraith
Dark swallowed, letting go of Daizi with one hand so he could wipe his face, “Could we even afford that?”
“Of course we could,” Daizi told him with the utmost confidence, “It might be a little tighter, but I’ve always out-earned you. And… If it does this much harm to you…” She swallowed, stroking his hair, “Darling, I don’t want to not have your salary because you aren’t here to work. I’d much rather have you quit, and be happy. We can handle the rest.”
“You would not grow to resent me?”
“Resent you?” She cupped his cheek in her hand, “Why on earth would I ever resent you?”
He leaned into her touch, and the love she was showing him nearly pushed him into crying all over again, for the weight he had been carrying, “It is just… some I have read about. The working spouse grows frustrated with the spouse who stays at home, because they are not…”
A small, sad little smile flicked over Daizi’s face, “Goose. Babe. I’ve been at home with Ivy this whole time. I know how it is, and… Honestly… I’m so tired, because I’m just alone all the time. If you quit, if you stayed at home with her, then while I’m still working remotely… I would feel so much happier, too. And then, when I go back to the office, I’d know that our daughter is with her father, who will love her and care for her better than anyone else in the world. I could never resent you for that. I promise.”
This was too much for him to hear, and he allowed himself to be pulled back into her embrace, although he still found enough strength to talk, “What about the twins?”
“What about them?”
“I do not want them to feel like I am abandoning them, or like I am choosing Ivy over them..’
“Our boys want you happy just as much as I do,” Daizi replied, rocking him gently, “Or, almost as much. I don’t think anyone… But even if you aren’t at their school anymore, you’ll be at home, waiting for them. That’s what it’s like for most parents. That’s what it’s like for me. Or, what it was like. They’ll understand.”
“What if—”
In this one instance, she cut him off, “Dark, my husband, if they have any issue with you leaving a job that makes you feel like this then… All you can do is remember they are teenagers, and their brains aren’t fully developed. They’ll adjust. Don’t destroy yourself out of fear of what may happen. All four of us need you here.”
Dark took a breath, desperately wanting to believe her, but something still weighed heavily on his mind. Pulling away from her embrace, he continued, “What if it happens again? What if someone shows up to the school and I am not there? You cannot say it would not happen, because it has already happened once. If he is let out on parole, and comes back, and I am not there, then what will happen?”
“I don’t think he will come back even if he is released,” Daizi said, stroking his beard with her hand, “but, darling, they only have two more years of high school. What will you do when they graduate? You will never be with them everywhere, and you won’t be with them anywhere if you force yourself to keep working in a place that is crushing you. Goose, what happened was horrible, but don’t use it to justify staying.”
“But what if—”
“You can ask a million what-ifs. But what matters if you were there. And you saved them. Now,” She rocked back up onto her knees so she could kiss the top of his head and pull him back in close, “Now you get to be selfish. It’s your turn. Save yourself, this time.”
“Of course we could,” Daizi told him with the utmost confidence, “It might be a little tighter, but I’ve always out-earned you. And… If it does this much harm to you…” She swallowed, stroking his hair, “Darling, I don’t want to not have your salary because you aren’t here to work. I’d much rather have you quit, and be happy. We can handle the rest.”
“You would not grow to resent me?”
“Resent you?” She cupped his cheek in her hand, “Why on earth would I ever resent you?”
He leaned into her touch, and the love she was showing him nearly pushed him into crying all over again, for the weight he had been carrying, “It is just… some I have read about. The working spouse grows frustrated with the spouse who stays at home, because they are not…”
A small, sad little smile flicked over Daizi’s face, “Goose. Babe. I’ve been at home with Ivy this whole time. I know how it is, and… Honestly… I’m so tired, because I’m just alone all the time. If you quit, if you stayed at home with her, then while I’m still working remotely… I would feel so much happier, too. And then, when I go back to the office, I’d know that our daughter is with her father, who will love her and care for her better than anyone else in the world. I could never resent you for that. I promise.”
This was too much for him to hear, and he allowed himself to be pulled back into her embrace, although he still found enough strength to talk, “What about the twins?”
“What about them?”
“I do not want them to feel like I am abandoning them, or like I am choosing Ivy over them..’
“Our boys want you happy just as much as I do,” Daizi replied, rocking him gently, “Or, almost as much. I don’t think anyone… But even if you aren’t at their school anymore, you’ll be at home, waiting for them. That’s what it’s like for most parents. That’s what it’s like for me. Or, what it was like. They’ll understand.”
“What if—”
In this one instance, she cut him off, “Dark, my husband, if they have any issue with you leaving a job that makes you feel like this then… All you can do is remember they are teenagers, and their brains aren’t fully developed. They’ll adjust. Don’t destroy yourself out of fear of what may happen. All four of us need you here.”
Dark took a breath, desperately wanting to believe her, but something still weighed heavily on his mind. Pulling away from her embrace, he continued, “What if it happens again? What if someone shows up to the school and I am not there? You cannot say it would not happen, because it has already happened once. If he is let out on parole, and comes back, and I am not there, then what will happen?”
“I don’t think he will come back even if he is released,” Daizi said, stroking his beard with her hand, “but, darling, they only have two more years of high school. What will you do when they graduate? You will never be with them everywhere, and you won’t be with them anywhere if you force yourself to keep working in a place that is crushing you. Goose, what happened was horrible, but don’t use it to justify staying.”
“But what if—”
“You can ask a million what-ifs. But what matters if you were there. And you saved them. Now,” She rocked back up onto her knees so she could kiss the top of his head and pull him back in close, “Now you get to be selfish. It’s your turn. Save yourself, this time.”