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So, I got inspired and wrote this short story about Aymar and Ilyrana. Well, I hoped to get some feedback on it to improve my writing. Don’t be afraid to be picky, as long as you bring the feedback in a normal nice way. The day Roshia died The day Roshia died As soon as Aymar saw his sister...

good well done a bit sudden jumps between alineas sometimes but overall awesome plot. :-)

Awesome, so she traveled back in time to Arthurs time? Thats so cool I like it how you make it so that Merlina didn't know directly she is in the arthurstime. As for your question in the earlier post I think its easier to decide on that if you written more that way you can see if you would miss...

I like the world you created and your writing style, eager to read more. I read that you loved to have feedback and there were somethings that caught my eye so here it comes: on the end of chapter 1 part 1 you wrote that the class seems to take forever but in the beggining of part 2 you wrote...