My perfect post has no superfluous detail to it. It describes, with perfect precision, the moment in question and whatever emotions it needs to convey. I rarely have these scenes. There is one that comes to mind, though.
As Florence and Box debate and prattle about how best to handle their unique situation, Eve remains resolutely standing alone. The hail of gunfire from the drone is punctuated by a bright flash of light as Jenive pulls the trigger, striking Eve at point blank range with her laser rifle. The drone runs out of ammo, as Eve grasps her chest where she was hit—seeming actually injured in some way by the shot. Yet, it was clearly nowhere near sufficient to be a lethal blow by itself. A sickening smile reaches her lips as she glares at Jenive. One word calmly leaves her lips. “Die.”
The large, amorphous creature turns its attention away from Carolyn and Catheryn and swings in one, large, elongated motion toward them. Without even thinking twice, Jenive grabs Russell and, though she struggles to hold him, taps her jetpack and shoots up toward the sky to try and avoid the blow.
Dust fills the air as the creature slams itself against the apartment complex, a grayish ooze floods in from the northern gaps where the staircase once was on the lower floors, and the rooms closest to it on the ground floor are simply broken entirely. Biscuit, the drone, is crushed instantly. Though it only moves in a few feet it’s enough to touch Eve’s feet, and she simply takes a handful of it and absorbs it into her own apparent flesh. The wound on her chest was gone as she turned and looked at Lillian and Florence. Yet, her attention turns with curiosity to Box, as her text communicator beeps.
Meanwhile, Jenive falls out of control with Russell. The two of them bounce off the top of Aleksa’s tank and land beside it, though both manage to avoid severe injuries. At least, that’s what Russell believes initially. Glancing around, he notices a small splatter of blood on Aleksa’s tank, and following the trail, he sees Jenive cradling her leg in a state of shock. Rather, more accurately, what was left of her leg. Everything from the knee down on her left leg was simply gone, and he realized why in a single, sickening moment: The creature had struck her leg and barely missed his, and simply ripped it off like a piece of paper. It took what little of her self-control remained to ensure they landed at all, and it seemed she had none left as tears ran down her cheeks. The Coalition squad holding the street starts preparing to move out, as two medics in the squad run over to Jenive and pull out their medkits—starting to treat the wound to the best of their ability.
The large, amorphous creature turns its attention away from Carolyn and Catheryn and swings in one, large, elongated motion toward them. Without even thinking twice, Jenive grabs Russell and, though she struggles to hold him, taps her jetpack and shoots up toward the sky to try and avoid the blow.
Dust fills the air as the creature slams itself against the apartment complex, a grayish ooze floods in from the northern gaps where the staircase once was on the lower floors, and the rooms closest to it on the ground floor are simply broken entirely. Biscuit, the drone, is crushed instantly. Though it only moves in a few feet it’s enough to touch Eve’s feet, and she simply takes a handful of it and absorbs it into her own apparent flesh. The wound on her chest was gone as she turned and looked at Lillian and Florence. Yet, her attention turns with curiosity to Box, as her text communicator beeps.
Meanwhile, Jenive falls out of control with Russell. The two of them bounce off the top of Aleksa’s tank and land beside it, though both manage to avoid severe injuries. At least, that’s what Russell believes initially. Glancing around, he notices a small splatter of blood on Aleksa’s tank, and following the trail, he sees Jenive cradling her leg in a state of shock. Rather, more accurately, what was left of her leg. Everything from the knee down on her left leg was simply gone, and he realized why in a single, sickening moment: The creature had struck her leg and barely missed his, and simply ripped it off like a piece of paper. It took what little of her self-control remained to ensure they landed at all, and it seemed she had none left as tears ran down her cheeks. The Coalition squad holding the street starts preparing to move out, as two medics in the squad run over to Jenive and pull out their medkits—starting to treat the wound to the best of their ability.
Natalija
Queen of LaLa Land, state of Capital Bulshit :P
No rule to my posts. It all depends on vhat is the post about. If it describes something I feel I can be detailed on, I can make it over-flow vith detail. If it describes something I'm not very partial to (or dont know alot about), I'l make it short and sukcint.