The journal of Ruby the Scorcher /Amanda Kay\


Arbiter of light and dark.
Journal Entry 1. (Age 15)
I don't even know why I'm doing this.... Ok I know why, but it just seems more like a waste of time. Then again I'm not the therapist so what do I know?

Alright first off to anyone that finds this and read this.... Ok first off. You're a fucking douche bag! Don't you know that a ladies diary is a sacred tome of her innermost thoughts? And reading this is blasphemy of the highest accord! Second Emily my therapist (I see a shrink so what?) said that it would possibly help me calm down and be less angry/Depressed if I were to write down my thoughts and what's bothering me. It's going to be a fucking novel when I'm done if that's the case.

Ok, I'm going a little off topic here but I just want to ask something. Who the hell holds off 4 years before getting mental help after.... What happened?! Did Eliza (My current guardian FYI.) Think I was just going through a phase? That I would be peachy after a few years? Stupid cunt. I hope that you step on a land-mind if your reading this!

Now that, that little justified literary outburst is done I guess I should get to the point. I guess I should start at the beginning (No brainer I know.) before everything went to shit.... My mother seems like a perfect place to get this going. She was a very powerful and wealthy lady in Brittiana. I never quite understood her position though if what Eliza has told me (The little she has by the way.) my mother had military ties and thus had made a lot of international enemies. Her full name was Morigan mic' kay. Strange name I know, Especially in Brittiana; Being given the name of the broad that almost screwed over Arthur and his knights. I mean. It's kinda awesome in a way, being named after a legend but...

I'm getting off topic again. Sorry, Mr' Douche reading this.

Mom being an important lady was busy all the time. I know that most children have busy parents but she was BUSY, most of the time we spent was when she was exhausted or when she had a void in her schedule. I honestly never minded her not being there. It sucked not having her, I loved her very much but even as a kid I understood that she had a lot of responsibilities and that sometimes life just didn't let you make lemonade. It could have also been because I had my little brother Peter. Possibly the most innocent and pure person to ever be born. His blond hair that covered his eyes looked liked it belonged to an angel, and his eyes were the deepest shade of green you would ever see. Our mother called him her little Emerald (She nicknamed us after gems.) His magic could manipulate the earth, in the sense he could make rocks float and change mud into different shapes.

I, however, was different. People usually called me gifted, 'A gift from the heavens' 'An angel in human form' 'A legend in the making' 'The Phoenix princess' that was the honey I was fed for several years. It was because I could manipulate and control silver flames in a way that was unique like I was born in holy fire itself. Peter and me despite the age and power gap were a team, two peas in a pot, The rocket twins (hehe He came up with that name. It had Rock in the name and a Rocket needs fire to sore to the heavens... It made sense when I was a kid.) A brother I loved deeply. In fact, when me, mom, and he got together it was the best time of our lives. We played games, told stories, cooked every type of pastry that you could think of (Even though mom sucked at cooking.= ) ) and on a special night, when no clouds were in the sky we would just. Sit there on the balcony and watch the stars....... I think I'll end this part off with this, I'll write something else when I feel like it....... I miss those days.
Journal Entry 28 (Age 16)
Well, I just turned 16 a week ago.... No one arrived on my birthday....My extended family. They've disowned me out of fear. Ok, I lied about no one showing up, a couple of Confederacy showed up to try and kill me....Again...... I'm so sick of this! Why can't they just leave me alone!? Wasn't it enough that they butchered!!......... "Some tear stains can be seen on the page" This journal does seem to be helping at the very least. My last few entries had assassination attempts too but, hey this one's 'SPECIAL!' big friggin sweet 16 (blows imaginary thingy. While having the most tired ass expression on her face.) Also, my therapist, Emily is a big help through all this. A journal is one thing but talking with a real flesh and blood person feels more personal, At first, I thought she seemed rather odd she was too calm and too nice. But after these few months with her and Eliza (She escorts me there.) maybe I've just forgotten what it feels like to have someone care for you.... Yet saying all this. I can't help but feel, suspicious around her. Probably me just being paranoid.
Journal Entry 42 (Age 16)
I've put it off too long. So many things I've put in this Journal. Memories. Secrets. Regrets. Accomplishments... Failures. But now the thing I am about to add to this Journal is the alpha. The genesis of what made me what I am today. A story of death, realization, and despair.... The day I entered hell itself. The Boat.

I was 11 when it happened. It was one of my mothers void days, but this was a special occasion. She didn't have anything to do all week. Mom apparently asked Eliza to cover for her so that she could spend more time with her little Ruby and Emerald.... So she decided that we would sail out into the open ocean. I used to love the ocean, me and Peter, we'd play near the beach when Eliza allowed us. The shining of the water surface, the colorful fish that would sometimes jump up out of the water, the calming sound of the waves.... Now all I think when I look out is blood.

The ship was like a cruise it had everything that a high-class one would have. Games, banquets, space, and our mother employees some of which I knew personally and considered friends. Joseph and his daughter Atlas I considered my best friends.... Atlas, if you read this, know your father. Our mother loved all her employees like they were family and Joseph was the best out of them he died a hero.... I'm so sorry.

Nothing was wrong when we left the port everyone seemed so. Normal. No clouds in the sky, the sun was shining its radiance down on the water, and everyone was happy. Laughing. Living.... It all happened so fast. I remember everything vividly. The moment the sun went down and the moon rose half-full almost like a maleficent eye bearing witness to the horror that was about to be unleashed. The Confederacy attacked. They must have somehow stowed away on some part of the ship or maybe they boarded the ship when everyone was sleeping. It docent matter how they got on or how they knew we'd be on the seas, all that matters was what happened next.

Peter and I woke to the screams and inhuman roars. We tried to run away, to find mom. All we found was corpses of friends. The Confederacy showed no mercy everywhere we ran.... Rooms thrown open, the sounds of magic and screaming filled the night, bodies ripped apart, mutilated, blood ran through the halls like a stream that reached our ankles. I can never forget the smell of blood or the salt of my tears. Joseph, god bless him found us. If it wasn't for him we probably would have ended up dead he knew the ship like the back of his hand, so it was easy to maneuver around the chaos. At some point, the combinations of the Humunculus roars and the dead nearly unrecognizable bodies finally got to Peter. He didn't mean to. He was 7 for god's sake the very fact he managed to keep from crying from all that was something most adults would find impressive. He cried. Cried so loud and hard for mom that it gave away our location to several Homunculi. Joseph..... He led us towards a vent, it was big enough for children to fit through. Peter was still crying I might have started to if that brave man didn't talk some sense into me. He stayed behind so that we could escape.

I held Peter for I don't know how long. I was trying to. I don't know, calm him down. Maybe get him to stop crying. But perhaps it was more for my own sake, He needed his big sister to be strong. To protect him from the monsters. She was the best mage in the world, Number one. Hell, she was going to Arcadia academy with him and they would both proudly proclaim to the world that they were the Rocket Twins!....... I told him that I would protect him. I told him that I would never let anything ever happen to him or mom. "Heavy tear stains are evident on this page and others concerning her brother and mother." [Amanda wasn't going to let any harm come to her little bro!] That calmed him down enough to where we could travel through the vents without drawing attention to ourselves. It felt like we were crawling in that darkness for hours, the sounds of battle our only clue of life on the ship. I saw a light ahead that lead to the outside, it didn't seem like there was anyone on the deck alive anyway. We were just going to sit there, hide and wait until they gave up looking or figured that the Kay children were caught in an explosion, there were several of those it could have been possible..... Our mother though. I couldn't just let her face those monsters alone. Amanda was her gift of heaven, a Legend in the making, The Pheonix princess..... A failure of spectacular proportions.

Peter wouldn't stay in the vent scared that he would lose his big sister........ I wish I remembered what was going through Amanda's head at that very second. She said that he should stay close to her that he would be safe as long as she held his hand. Amanda followed a trail of rose peddles, finding the corpses of her attackers either turned into plant fauna, having thorns grow out of their bodies, or having been decapitated by an unknown weapon. It was a horrible yet strangely amazing sight. We both heard another explosion this time coming from the kitchen not only that but the sounds of a struggle. My mother..... Why did Amanda go? Why did Amanda have to bring Peter.... Sweet innocent Peter.... Why? Why couldn't /I\ Amanda save you!?!.............................. It happened so fast. Amanda froze when she saw mom bloodied and beaten. /My\ Her grip /I\ she let go of him. She just watched him run towards our mother, those ruthless heartless bastards! 7 years! 7 years! His life never started because Amanda was a coward! Cut in half....... Peter...../I\ Amanda..... Just watched. I can still feel the blood stains on my face. Still, hear him give his last breath. I can never stop seeing his face in my dreams. Terrified, suffering, pleading for his big sister to help. I barely remember what happened next. Amanda's eyes frozen in disbelief unable to cry because the pain was too great, her body and more likely /my\ her mind shut down, all she could do was to just lay there in pure agony. the only thing she could hear was her mother's cry. If there could be a sound for what Amanda felt at that time if I ever had to explain it to anyone. I would tell them it was like a mother whose child had died suffering both mentally and physically. My mother unleashed a massive spell sending whip-like thorns throughout the ship anything was impaled turned into thorns. However. The strain was too great the last thing my mother did was crawl to Peters torso embracing him and then turned to Amanda..... I lost both of them. They both died because Amanda wasn't strong enough..... My mother last words to her. To me! [Be strong my little Ruby, please don't give up.]

3 days. 3 nights. /I\ Amanda cowered in the corner, her dress and face covered in blood. My families blood. I can still remember the smell of them rotting mixing with the odor of the sea air, it was so bad but I couldn't puke out anything I was hungry, thirsty, tired, sticky. Scared. My brother and my mother's eyes never closed. They just stared at me, condemning /me\ Amanda she got them killed. She was to blame. My mother's little Ruby wouldn't have let this happen, Ruby was the strong one.... Just when I thought I would die from starvation or dehydration the coast guard found me...... The news report was only featured once in Brittiana Eliza, making sure to destroy any copy that was left of this event. But she must not have acted fast enough if the years after that say anything.....

I don't feel angry or sad right now.... I don't feel anything after writing that out.... I'll leave off with this since there is nothing left to say about Amanda. They got one thing wrong in that report, when they said there was only one survivor. There were no survivors left, Amanda died and Ruby rose from the ashes.
Journal Entry 64 (Age 17)
I was a fool! A Homunculus! Emily was a god-damned Homunculus, I should have listened to my gut when I first met her! The moment I don't show up with Eliza she springs her trap..... I trusted her! I actually trusted someone after so long and she played me! I fell for her ruse like a sucker! Putting me in the emergency ward! slicing my fucking back!...... The Confederacy. Is there even anything more I can say about them? No one is going to help me... I'm better off standing on my own two legs. After all Ruby is number 1.
Journal Entry 101 (Age 18)
Its been a long and hard journey, but I made it. Arcadia Academy. The best of the best. I should feel more happy about this. Yet it feels bitter-sweet. Empty.

Don't give up Ruby.... Your the best. Time to prove you're the platinum while everyone else is the bronze.
Journal Entry 112 (Age 18)
It's been 2 months since I started my career here..... I've had my ups and downs. I thought that I could handle some of the more... Agro insults thrown my way at the start. (It's only natural for the weak to envy the strong. Class A is after all the envy of all.) And I have. It's just that the 'challenges' are sooooo boring! To be expected after all I am a certified badass.... Though I have been sending more and more people to the infirmary..... Bah! What do I care, if they can't stand the heat of the Scorcher than they better get used to the tubes feeding them!

I guess I could send them an unnamed gift basket?
Journal Entry 123 (Age 19)
Well, Well, Well. Seems like a gentleman has lit a fire in the Scorcher. Christian or the Orange prince. Me I'll just call him Mr' niceass. It shouldn't be that hard to get him enamored with me, though it might be hard to study fending off a hottie like him with a stick. Maybe I'll use my Needles.
Journal Entry 125 (Age 19)
You know Journal.... Just spending time with him, it made me realize that the only male I've ever been around was my brother. This is the first time I've actually been interested in someone, his looks are one thing but his smile. The way he talks it feels so.... Genuine. And whats even better is that he's not a Piece of dog shit. Oh, I meant he's not a Confederacy I always get those two things confused.

Jabs aside I think he's can be the one! I mean it feels like we are equals. I don't talk down to him. I don't hurt him as badly in training as the others. And I've been able to keep my anger under control I haven't sent a person to the emergency room or a doctor in 3 weeks! I.... Actually feel like he loves me...... O god did I really write something that sappy? Alright, Journal it has been a long night so see you whenever I need to write something.
Journal Entry 132 (Age 19)
We broke up.....No... We were never a couple, I just created the illusion.... I can't even think of something to write...
Journal Entry 153 (Age 19)
The second-year docent look to promising.

I saw Christian today.... While he was giving out my punishment. It's not as kinky as it sounds, it was so embarrassing, having to do my combat exam over again I mean do they not see how pointless that was? Why waste my time on something so. So. Trivial!..... I hurt someone again. Sure this guy deserved it, and he was making an already bad situation worse, but when he looked at me. Unconsciously. I just saw that same look of disappointment in, their eyes....

The 'president' wants to have a meeting with me tomorrow, my ORB just informed me. A Confederacy asking to have an audience with me in her throne room, how cute....I got hoodwinked once you piece of trash, I'm not letting my guard down for a second when facing you!

That girl though. She isn't a Confederacy I know that just by looking at her. In fact, she seems to be of Brittiana blood. It docent matter why or how they found each other or why that girl seems to view Viktoria as a sister-figure, all that matters is that I have to keep that kid safe...... The poor thing docent know that there is no heart beating in that chest, Only cold unfeeling efficiency that is unable to spare a child. I'm not letting the Confederacy take another child's future away from them.
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