Craig Leo
The Betrayer of Hope and Devourer of Donuts
This is a short story I wrote for a contest on another website. I enjoyed writing it a lot and feel that it is probably one of my more polished pieces and it is one of my more recent ones. Hopefully you enjoy reading it, though I will put a language warning here, as there is cussing in this short.
Renn was neither alive nor dead. To be honest, she didn't exactly know what she was. Sure, she did a lot that might classify her as a living creature: breathing, sleeping, eating and purging. There was just one thing missing from the equation, a key distinction between being a human and a human eating robot. Renn did not have a life.
In my defense, there isn't much of one to be had in this world. Renn thought.
Being the only not-alive-but-not-dead creature in a world of gray was a fair excuse for her not having an active social life.
Today, like all the days that fell before it, she set out to make a change. All it required of her was a little guts, the ability to ignore her own instincts and a backpack full of goodies.
The backpack held some extra pairs of clothes; a few shirts and some new shorts that Renn had recently found. A flashlight that didn't work. A few cans of an unknown meat product. Some beyond stale crackers and a bottle of a strange liquid. The mystery drink looked like pee, smelled like pee and even tasted like pee but it was totally not pee. That would just be disgusting.
Before leaving her home, Renn made sure she armed herself with her Derek Jeter playing card. His head peaked out from underneath the pink, fluffy armband she secured him with. While making sure that he was strapped in tight, she accidentally made eye contact.
Renn sighed. “How many times do I have to tell you not to look at me like that?” She paced back and forth across her crowded bedroom, not bothering to step around the cozy piles of garbage she left lying around. The racket her haphazard steps caused by scattering all sorts of trash around the room almost drowned out her own voice. “I know it's awkward. It is for the both of us. We can't be friends with benefits anymore. You got clingy and a girl needs her space.”
She stomped a foot on the ground, rolling her eyes. “Ugh. Yeah, I know that means we can't be friends. I thought we agreed that neither one of us will ever get out of this world if we don't work together!”
She gasped. “Don't you dare call me that! You have no right!”
“But I-- No....”
“Fine!” She threw her hands up. “I'm only taking you along so you can watch my back.”
And so I can watch your butt. Renn sniggered.
True to her word, she didn't pursue anymore conversation with Mr. Jeter. Not that he was any fun to talk to in the morning. They made their way towards Renn's next destination in determined silence.
The world Renn lived in was devoid of both life and color. It was like watching the opening act of The Wizard of OZ, just without any actors.
A few of those flying monkeys would liven up the place, that's for sure.
The streets Renn walked down weren't empty, but everything remained static and unchanging. She had yet to find a single hint of another human being. Neither were there stray animals running around, or a single ant crawling on the ground. Hell, there weren't even gusts of wind to artfully blow around plastic bags.
Everything remained static, unchanging. Most days, Renn thought this was a positive. She didn't age, or gain a single pound despite what she ate. She didn't have to worry about food spoiling on her. Everything was simply the way it was when this world came into existence. Despite spending what felt like her whole life trapped in this world, it still didn't make any sense. Part of her brain knew that this was not how the laws of nature worked, that there was nothing normal about her life. She couldn't remember anything else.
As she made her way along her predetermined path, she let her mind wander. Renn was not a dumb girl, she might have been able to pass the average high school curriculum. As it often did on her walks, her train of thought took on a circular pattern and began retreading on old questions.
For example: Where did so much of her knowledge come from?
For as long as I can remember, She thought as she climbed on top of the rusted remains of an old Chevy, I've been in this world and nowhere else. I've never even seen a movie, let alone know what one was. Yet, I still know about them. This particular stretch of road was so packed with cars and debris that it far easier to jump from hood to hood, rather than trying to worm her way through. Even though she knew all this to be true, there was still a kernel of knowledge tucked into the back of her brain. It hid, smushed between the sections that controlled her ability to balance.
When Renn made her next jump onto the hood of a particularly slick car, she did not notice her feet slipping away underneath her. Not until she nearly crashed through the windshield, leaving an impression of her cheek on the glass.
The pain that burned through her chest was not nearly as hot as the blush that covered her face. Derek totally saw all of that.
Whistling a tune that she also knew, she climbed back onto her feet in measured increments. Once her clothes were brushed off and she no longer felt like bursting out into tears, she continued to make her way across the cars.
“Oh shut up,” She growled at Derek. “Don't make me bring up your poor batting average.”
How did she know that? It didn't really matter, as the threat shut him up and left him in a huff.
Easing herself off of the final car, pride blossoming as she managed the crossing after only falling once. With her feet on stable, if not clean ground, she banked sharply to the right and took a shortcut through an alleyway.
This alley must have once belonged to a coven of homeless people.
Coven... that is what you call a group of them, right?
The question let her ignore, for the most part, the makeshift houses. Constructed out of various types of cardboard boxes or thick blankets strung up by even thicker segments or rope or pipes, they made the alleyway far more cramped than it should have been. Walking through this alley was such a downer, it was just an empty reminder that the world was supposed to be filled with people.
Renn more often than not chose to avoid walking into houses for that very reason. Yet here, she couldn't ignore the bags of clothes strewn across one box, forming an uncomfortable looking bed. Or the personal touch of old family pictures. Remnants of food, most of which seemed to still be in the process of being eaten.
Rubbing her arms, she trudged through the alley and soon found herself standing in front of her destination: a small, ratty looking building. The windows were boarded up and the walls were coated in layers of graffiti. A sign hung above the door, skewed to the side at an awkward angle.
“The Piss Hole? That's a charming name.” Renn tilted her head, squinting at the bulbs spelling out the name. “Maybe all clubs are named like that. Not like I've got a lot of experience to go on here.”
She had not spent much time in these neighborhoods, her explorations taking her to the richer parts of the city. Even her kernel of mysterious knowledge wasn't giving her any useful information. With the state of disaster the place was in, Renn would have just passed it over indefinitely. Except, she could feel the pull. There was something in there she had to explore. The invisible hook tugging at her navel was the most insistent it had ever been.
Maybe it will be different this time. This could be what I'm looking for.
She stood at the entrance as time drained away, staring through the small crack of darkness between the double doors, forcing her eyes to see more than they could. The tugging became stronger, almost making her face plant as it dragged her through the entrance.
The inside of the building was both dark and humid. Reminding her of times she'd curl up under her blankets. The air wasn't any hotter than it had been outside, it was just stale and dry. Each breath felt a little labored, tickling the back of her throat with decade old dusts. The smell was musty, like a dead wet dog stuffed in a closet for twenty years.
She was just through the entrance when something caught her attention: a leather jacket hung from the wall. A large bird was embroidered both on the back and on the front. She'd look like a total badass in something like that.
Renn reached out for it, but reluctantly pulled her hand away. Maybe later, She told herself, if I come back.
Her journey ended when the narrow hallways opened up into a room that was far larger than she would have imagined, considering the outside of the building.
To her immediate right was a bar. Its shelves were lined with various bottles of alcohol. Cups sat on the counter, their contents having been replaced by thick pillows of cobwebs. A rather tempting bowl of nuts sat on the counter. The top layer forming a protective barrier against the dust, preserving a few on the bottom just for her.
Fighting back her craving, she let her eyes wander the room further. Her eyes lingered on a podium on the other side of the room. All the various electronic gizmos up there made that spot seemed important. Perhaps it was reserved for the king of their society, or the really cool people.
Finally, her eyes traveled to the middle of an empty floor. There didn't seem to be anything unique about the spot, beyond the impression that a lot of people could stand there. Perhaps that was where the mating rituals began.
The men with the most impressive dance skills end up getting their choice of female.
For some reason, Renn did not think her kernel's knowledge eclipsed her own on this topic.
Walking out onto the floor, the boards creaking under her feet, was a far scarier experience to her than it should have been. The hairs on her arms began to stand on end, her palms began to sweat and her legs trembled with each step.
The closer she got to the center of the dance floor, the more the tension began to grow. As usual, Renn could not see the anomaly that she was approaching, only felt it. It was like standing in a wave pool, except that in this case, the waves seemed to be ripples in reality. The closer she got, the larger the waves got and the harder it was to step forward.
Renn groaned. “No, Derek, I'm not scared. Shut up already!” Walking away from the anomaly, she approached a table and leaned him up against a cup. Fiddling with his position so he could have an unobstructed view of the middle of the dance floor. “You can stay here and wait while I check it out. And if you're good, I might not leave you here to rot.”
Narrowing her eyes, she stared him down and dared him to say anything else. Once she was satisfied that he'd been put in his place, she turned back towards the anomaly.
Deep breath. Don't think, just do it.
Renn ran, blowing through the ripples as quickly as she could. With no time to think about what she was doing, there was no hesitation.
She jumped through the anomaly.
Traveling through it was akin to having a spin in a blender filled with rocks. The experience wasn't something she'd brag about, nor was it ever anything to look forward to. Time, space and reality exploded in all directions at once. Coherency was hard to find and when she could make things out, it was as if she was staring through a really old and dirty pair of glasses. Her body was torn asunder, thrown on the ground, stomped on and then reassembled.
In a single second that seemed to stretch for at least 15, Renn found herself in another world. Her senses were overwhelmed in an instant.
Noise, or perhaps music, as loud as she had ever heard, blared through the room. Lights flashed from the ceiling, multi-hued beams shooting through the darkness in short and rapid bursts.
Renn didn't need the lights to know she was standing in the middle of an ocean of people. They moved and danced, separate individuals all caught in the same rhythms, moving as one to an unseen and powerful current.
Before she had any time to think, to question or even to celebrate, Renn was swept away in the moment. She bounced around, hopping from one foot to another and flailing her arms in imitation of the people around her. A smile on her lips, the first genuine one in months.
It didn't matter that the music was atrocious. Every pulse of that overcompensating bass rippled through her body, vibrating every inch of her bones. Nor did it matter that the room was not just stuffy, but blisteringly hot. After only a minute of arriving, sweat seeped out through her pores. Even the humid mix of body odor and cologne became the most intoxicating smell to ever exist.
Why? Because this was life.
Sure, it was scary, loud and a complete mess. Her heart beat harder than it had ever beat before and she felt sick to her stomach, being surrounded by so many unknown faces. She got smacked, elbowed, plowed into and even stepped on. Yet she gave back as good as she got and continued to push back against the current of bodies. Her shouts joined with theirs, intermingling with the thudding of the music to create something far more powerful.
Yes! This is where I belong. This is my world. I finally found it. I---
Tschhhhhhhhhhhhh
Static filled Renn's head.
No no no no.
Her dancing slowed, the world itself seemed to slow. A thick wave rippled down her vision, distorting reality as it passed.
This is where I belong! Renn focused, applying the force of her will against the static, trying to push it back.
One of the men next to her stopped dancing, turned to face Renn and began staring at her in silence.
Flicker.
For a fraction of a second, barely noticeable, the color faded from the world. Two more people stopped their dancing, standing in place. Neither moving, or speaking, they just stared at her. Their expressions blank.
I have to get out of here. Maybe I can outrun her.
Even as Renn began pushing her way through the crowd, more of them grew still. She felt their eyes on her, boring holes into her soul with their judgments.
Flicker.
Renn was standing on the empty dance floor, back in her world of gray. Derek Jeter watched her from his table, smirk plastered on his face.
She reached out to him.
Flicker.
She stood in the middle of a crowd. None of them moved, none spoke. The stared through unblinking eyes, forming a wall of meat that she could not slip by.
I have to get out before she----
Renn saw her approaching. A figure, average in height, flowed through the crowds. She did not cause a fuss, slipping through cracks and holes without bumping or shoving a single person. It was like she simply phased through everything.
In a few seconds, Renn was standing face-to-face with herself.
The other her was breathtaking. Her pale skin was the image of perfection and unlike herself, it was not marred by a single blemish. Her hair was smooth and silky, ribbons of the dark curls cascaded against her shoulders. She wore a sleek red dress, filling it out in ways Renn could only dream of. Renn's gaze stopped on the leather jacket her other half was wearing and she suddenly felt better about not taking it in her world.
She'd just look ridiculous, in comparison.
Renn's doppelganger spoke, her voice sang but her words cut. “There is no home for you, just the one you built for yourself. Do you think you can change? Silly girl, you've already decided.”
She stretched out a slender hand and Renn recoiled. She closed her eyes, focused on going back home. On escaping from her other half. Dread filling her stomach with bile, the taste crawled slowly up through her throat.
“You abandoned the world long before it abandoned you. Limbo is where you belong.”
Flicker.
“Coward.”
Renn felt herself slip away from the world and found herself being torn apart, piece by piece. This time, as she journeyed through the anomaly, her vision cleared.
Sounds like muffled laughter bombarded her from all sides. Lights flared before her eyes, faces too distorted to recognize stared down at her. She saw roses, rivers of red, blooming out of canyons carved through pale landscapes. Bubbles rose from her mouth, dancing up into the sky like tiny jellyfish. Above her, lights flared and Renn felt herself sink. The blossoming roses spread across the sky, coloring everything in a milky red.
The laughing turned to screams.
Renn's breath caught in her throat, and her vision faded.
Her eyes opened, her own scream coming to an abrupt stop. She was back on her own world, curled up on the dirty floor. No more color, no more music. No more people staring at her. The butterflies in her stomach, the awkward tingling through her body. It happened again, as it always did.
Renn gasped, her lungs aching as if she took her first breath. Her body shook, coated in sweat and she did not move until her vision came back into focus. Her eyes instantly locked onto Derek and she ground her teeth.
“FUCK OFF DEREK!” Renn shrieked at him, her voice cracking under the high-pitched noise. “Like you would have been any help over there! You're just a fucking card. What? Were you going to give them all paper cuts?”
Renn tried to stand up, but fell back to her knees. Her fingers carved paths through the thick layers of grime and dirt that coated the floors. Tears splashed against the back of her hands, leaving small droplets on the ground.
I... I really thought this was it. That I could be accepted. That I found the real world that I belonged to.
How many times had she made jumps into different worlds? How many times had she been forced to see her perfect doppelganger? It didn't matter if it was ten, or a thousand. That thing always showed up and it always forced her to come back to this world. Back to a life of loneliness.
Renn shuddered, trying to grasp onto the last strings of her sanity.
That bitch... she just doesn't want to leave me alone. But... I'll show her, won't I? Just like that, with that one thought of defiance, she could feel her strength coming back to her. This world, this loneliness. It hardens me. Makes me stronger. Next time I see her, I'll punch her right in that pretty fucking face.
Renn found herself smiling, even laughing. If she punched her doppelganger, would she get hurt as well?
She looked back up, surveying the empty room once again. Somewhere deep in her mind, that kernel of mysterious knowledge remembered what she'd seen in that other world. The warmth of the bodies, the pounding of the music. The glow of life that had filled her.
Her smile deepened even further and she turned it back to Derek. “Derek?” She began. “You know that I would've come back for you, right? If things had worked back there. I wouldn't leave you to rot here alone.”
Standing up, Renn approached him with a new stride of determination. “But I did good this time. That was... like, five minutes right? That has got to be a new record.”
She tucked him back into her arm band, rolling her eyes. “What do you mean you weren't counting!? Pfft. You're so useless. Whataver. Let's just go home. We'll find a way out of here tomorrow."
Renn was neither alive nor dead. To be honest, she didn't exactly know what she was. Sure, she did a lot that might classify her as a living creature: breathing, sleeping, eating and purging. There was just one thing missing from the equation, a key distinction between being a human and a human eating robot. Renn did not have a life.
In my defense, there isn't much of one to be had in this world. Renn thought.
Being the only not-alive-but-not-dead creature in a world of gray was a fair excuse for her not having an active social life.
Today, like all the days that fell before it, she set out to make a change. All it required of her was a little guts, the ability to ignore her own instincts and a backpack full of goodies.
The backpack held some extra pairs of clothes; a few shirts and some new shorts that Renn had recently found. A flashlight that didn't work. A few cans of an unknown meat product. Some beyond stale crackers and a bottle of a strange liquid. The mystery drink looked like pee, smelled like pee and even tasted like pee but it was totally not pee. That would just be disgusting.
Before leaving her home, Renn made sure she armed herself with her Derek Jeter playing card. His head peaked out from underneath the pink, fluffy armband she secured him with. While making sure that he was strapped in tight, she accidentally made eye contact.
Renn sighed. “How many times do I have to tell you not to look at me like that?” She paced back and forth across her crowded bedroom, not bothering to step around the cozy piles of garbage she left lying around. The racket her haphazard steps caused by scattering all sorts of trash around the room almost drowned out her own voice. “I know it's awkward. It is for the both of us. We can't be friends with benefits anymore. You got clingy and a girl needs her space.”
She stomped a foot on the ground, rolling her eyes. “Ugh. Yeah, I know that means we can't be friends. I thought we agreed that neither one of us will ever get out of this world if we don't work together!”
She gasped. “Don't you dare call me that! You have no right!”
“But I-- No....”
“Fine!” She threw her hands up. “I'm only taking you along so you can watch my back.”
And so I can watch your butt. Renn sniggered.
True to her word, she didn't pursue anymore conversation with Mr. Jeter. Not that he was any fun to talk to in the morning. They made their way towards Renn's next destination in determined silence.
The world Renn lived in was devoid of both life and color. It was like watching the opening act of The Wizard of OZ, just without any actors.
A few of those flying monkeys would liven up the place, that's for sure.
The streets Renn walked down weren't empty, but everything remained static and unchanging. She had yet to find a single hint of another human being. Neither were there stray animals running around, or a single ant crawling on the ground. Hell, there weren't even gusts of wind to artfully blow around plastic bags.
Everything remained static, unchanging. Most days, Renn thought this was a positive. She didn't age, or gain a single pound despite what she ate. She didn't have to worry about food spoiling on her. Everything was simply the way it was when this world came into existence. Despite spending what felt like her whole life trapped in this world, it still didn't make any sense. Part of her brain knew that this was not how the laws of nature worked, that there was nothing normal about her life. She couldn't remember anything else.
As she made her way along her predetermined path, she let her mind wander. Renn was not a dumb girl, she might have been able to pass the average high school curriculum. As it often did on her walks, her train of thought took on a circular pattern and began retreading on old questions.
For example: Where did so much of her knowledge come from?
For as long as I can remember, She thought as she climbed on top of the rusted remains of an old Chevy, I've been in this world and nowhere else. I've never even seen a movie, let alone know what one was. Yet, I still know about them. This particular stretch of road was so packed with cars and debris that it far easier to jump from hood to hood, rather than trying to worm her way through. Even though she knew all this to be true, there was still a kernel of knowledge tucked into the back of her brain. It hid, smushed between the sections that controlled her ability to balance.
When Renn made her next jump onto the hood of a particularly slick car, she did not notice her feet slipping away underneath her. Not until she nearly crashed through the windshield, leaving an impression of her cheek on the glass.
The pain that burned through her chest was not nearly as hot as the blush that covered her face. Derek totally saw all of that.
Whistling a tune that she also knew, she climbed back onto her feet in measured increments. Once her clothes were brushed off and she no longer felt like bursting out into tears, she continued to make her way across the cars.
“Oh shut up,” She growled at Derek. “Don't make me bring up your poor batting average.”
How did she know that? It didn't really matter, as the threat shut him up and left him in a huff.
Easing herself off of the final car, pride blossoming as she managed the crossing after only falling once. With her feet on stable, if not clean ground, she banked sharply to the right and took a shortcut through an alleyway.
This alley must have once belonged to a coven of homeless people.
Coven... that is what you call a group of them, right?
The question let her ignore, for the most part, the makeshift houses. Constructed out of various types of cardboard boxes or thick blankets strung up by even thicker segments or rope or pipes, they made the alleyway far more cramped than it should have been. Walking through this alley was such a downer, it was just an empty reminder that the world was supposed to be filled with people.
Renn more often than not chose to avoid walking into houses for that very reason. Yet here, she couldn't ignore the bags of clothes strewn across one box, forming an uncomfortable looking bed. Or the personal touch of old family pictures. Remnants of food, most of which seemed to still be in the process of being eaten.
Rubbing her arms, she trudged through the alley and soon found herself standing in front of her destination: a small, ratty looking building. The windows were boarded up and the walls were coated in layers of graffiti. A sign hung above the door, skewed to the side at an awkward angle.
“The Piss Hole? That's a charming name.” Renn tilted her head, squinting at the bulbs spelling out the name. “Maybe all clubs are named like that. Not like I've got a lot of experience to go on here.”
She had not spent much time in these neighborhoods, her explorations taking her to the richer parts of the city. Even her kernel of mysterious knowledge wasn't giving her any useful information. With the state of disaster the place was in, Renn would have just passed it over indefinitely. Except, she could feel the pull. There was something in there she had to explore. The invisible hook tugging at her navel was the most insistent it had ever been.
Maybe it will be different this time. This could be what I'm looking for.
She stood at the entrance as time drained away, staring through the small crack of darkness between the double doors, forcing her eyes to see more than they could. The tugging became stronger, almost making her face plant as it dragged her through the entrance.
The inside of the building was both dark and humid. Reminding her of times she'd curl up under her blankets. The air wasn't any hotter than it had been outside, it was just stale and dry. Each breath felt a little labored, tickling the back of her throat with decade old dusts. The smell was musty, like a dead wet dog stuffed in a closet for twenty years.
She was just through the entrance when something caught her attention: a leather jacket hung from the wall. A large bird was embroidered both on the back and on the front. She'd look like a total badass in something like that.
Renn reached out for it, but reluctantly pulled her hand away. Maybe later, She told herself, if I come back.
Her journey ended when the narrow hallways opened up into a room that was far larger than she would have imagined, considering the outside of the building.
To her immediate right was a bar. Its shelves were lined with various bottles of alcohol. Cups sat on the counter, their contents having been replaced by thick pillows of cobwebs. A rather tempting bowl of nuts sat on the counter. The top layer forming a protective barrier against the dust, preserving a few on the bottom just for her.
Fighting back her craving, she let her eyes wander the room further. Her eyes lingered on a podium on the other side of the room. All the various electronic gizmos up there made that spot seemed important. Perhaps it was reserved for the king of their society, or the really cool people.
Finally, her eyes traveled to the middle of an empty floor. There didn't seem to be anything unique about the spot, beyond the impression that a lot of people could stand there. Perhaps that was where the mating rituals began.
The men with the most impressive dance skills end up getting their choice of female.
For some reason, Renn did not think her kernel's knowledge eclipsed her own on this topic.
Walking out onto the floor, the boards creaking under her feet, was a far scarier experience to her than it should have been. The hairs on her arms began to stand on end, her palms began to sweat and her legs trembled with each step.
The closer she got to the center of the dance floor, the more the tension began to grow. As usual, Renn could not see the anomaly that she was approaching, only felt it. It was like standing in a wave pool, except that in this case, the waves seemed to be ripples in reality. The closer she got, the larger the waves got and the harder it was to step forward.
Renn groaned. “No, Derek, I'm not scared. Shut up already!” Walking away from the anomaly, she approached a table and leaned him up against a cup. Fiddling with his position so he could have an unobstructed view of the middle of the dance floor. “You can stay here and wait while I check it out. And if you're good, I might not leave you here to rot.”
Narrowing her eyes, she stared him down and dared him to say anything else. Once she was satisfied that he'd been put in his place, she turned back towards the anomaly.
Deep breath. Don't think, just do it.
Renn ran, blowing through the ripples as quickly as she could. With no time to think about what she was doing, there was no hesitation.
She jumped through the anomaly.
Traveling through it was akin to having a spin in a blender filled with rocks. The experience wasn't something she'd brag about, nor was it ever anything to look forward to. Time, space and reality exploded in all directions at once. Coherency was hard to find and when she could make things out, it was as if she was staring through a really old and dirty pair of glasses. Her body was torn asunder, thrown on the ground, stomped on and then reassembled.
In a single second that seemed to stretch for at least 15, Renn found herself in another world. Her senses were overwhelmed in an instant.
Noise, or perhaps music, as loud as she had ever heard, blared through the room. Lights flashed from the ceiling, multi-hued beams shooting through the darkness in short and rapid bursts.
Renn didn't need the lights to know she was standing in the middle of an ocean of people. They moved and danced, separate individuals all caught in the same rhythms, moving as one to an unseen and powerful current.
Before she had any time to think, to question or even to celebrate, Renn was swept away in the moment. She bounced around, hopping from one foot to another and flailing her arms in imitation of the people around her. A smile on her lips, the first genuine one in months.
It didn't matter that the music was atrocious. Every pulse of that overcompensating bass rippled through her body, vibrating every inch of her bones. Nor did it matter that the room was not just stuffy, but blisteringly hot. After only a minute of arriving, sweat seeped out through her pores. Even the humid mix of body odor and cologne became the most intoxicating smell to ever exist.
Why? Because this was life.
Sure, it was scary, loud and a complete mess. Her heart beat harder than it had ever beat before and she felt sick to her stomach, being surrounded by so many unknown faces. She got smacked, elbowed, plowed into and even stepped on. Yet she gave back as good as she got and continued to push back against the current of bodies. Her shouts joined with theirs, intermingling with the thudding of the music to create something far more powerful.
Yes! This is where I belong. This is my world. I finally found it. I---
Tschhhhhhhhhhhhh
Static filled Renn's head.
No no no no.
Her dancing slowed, the world itself seemed to slow. A thick wave rippled down her vision, distorting reality as it passed.
This is where I belong! Renn focused, applying the force of her will against the static, trying to push it back.
One of the men next to her stopped dancing, turned to face Renn and began staring at her in silence.
Flicker.
For a fraction of a second, barely noticeable, the color faded from the world. Two more people stopped their dancing, standing in place. Neither moving, or speaking, they just stared at her. Their expressions blank.
I have to get out of here. Maybe I can outrun her.
Even as Renn began pushing her way through the crowd, more of them grew still. She felt their eyes on her, boring holes into her soul with their judgments.
Flicker.
Renn was standing on the empty dance floor, back in her world of gray. Derek Jeter watched her from his table, smirk plastered on his face.
She reached out to him.
Flicker.
She stood in the middle of a crowd. None of them moved, none spoke. The stared through unblinking eyes, forming a wall of meat that she could not slip by.
I have to get out before she----
Renn saw her approaching. A figure, average in height, flowed through the crowds. She did not cause a fuss, slipping through cracks and holes without bumping or shoving a single person. It was like she simply phased through everything.
In a few seconds, Renn was standing face-to-face with herself.
The other her was breathtaking. Her pale skin was the image of perfection and unlike herself, it was not marred by a single blemish. Her hair was smooth and silky, ribbons of the dark curls cascaded against her shoulders. She wore a sleek red dress, filling it out in ways Renn could only dream of. Renn's gaze stopped on the leather jacket her other half was wearing and she suddenly felt better about not taking it in her world.
She'd just look ridiculous, in comparison.
Renn's doppelganger spoke, her voice sang but her words cut. “There is no home for you, just the one you built for yourself. Do you think you can change? Silly girl, you've already decided.”
She stretched out a slender hand and Renn recoiled. She closed her eyes, focused on going back home. On escaping from her other half. Dread filling her stomach with bile, the taste crawled slowly up through her throat.
“You abandoned the world long before it abandoned you. Limbo is where you belong.”
Flicker.
“Coward.”
Renn felt herself slip away from the world and found herself being torn apart, piece by piece. This time, as she journeyed through the anomaly, her vision cleared.
Sounds like muffled laughter bombarded her from all sides. Lights flared before her eyes, faces too distorted to recognize stared down at her. She saw roses, rivers of red, blooming out of canyons carved through pale landscapes. Bubbles rose from her mouth, dancing up into the sky like tiny jellyfish. Above her, lights flared and Renn felt herself sink. The blossoming roses spread across the sky, coloring everything in a milky red.
The laughing turned to screams.
Renn's breath caught in her throat, and her vision faded.
Her eyes opened, her own scream coming to an abrupt stop. She was back on her own world, curled up on the dirty floor. No more color, no more music. No more people staring at her. The butterflies in her stomach, the awkward tingling through her body. It happened again, as it always did.
Renn gasped, her lungs aching as if she took her first breath. Her body shook, coated in sweat and she did not move until her vision came back into focus. Her eyes instantly locked onto Derek and she ground her teeth.
“FUCK OFF DEREK!” Renn shrieked at him, her voice cracking under the high-pitched noise. “Like you would have been any help over there! You're just a fucking card. What? Were you going to give them all paper cuts?”
Renn tried to stand up, but fell back to her knees. Her fingers carved paths through the thick layers of grime and dirt that coated the floors. Tears splashed against the back of her hands, leaving small droplets on the ground.
I... I really thought this was it. That I could be accepted. That I found the real world that I belonged to.
How many times had she made jumps into different worlds? How many times had she been forced to see her perfect doppelganger? It didn't matter if it was ten, or a thousand. That thing always showed up and it always forced her to come back to this world. Back to a life of loneliness.
Renn shuddered, trying to grasp onto the last strings of her sanity.
That bitch... she just doesn't want to leave me alone. But... I'll show her, won't I? Just like that, with that one thought of defiance, she could feel her strength coming back to her. This world, this loneliness. It hardens me. Makes me stronger. Next time I see her, I'll punch her right in that pretty fucking face.
Renn found herself smiling, even laughing. If she punched her doppelganger, would she get hurt as well?
She looked back up, surveying the empty room once again. Somewhere deep in her mind, that kernel of mysterious knowledge remembered what she'd seen in that other world. The warmth of the bodies, the pounding of the music. The glow of life that had filled her.
Her smile deepened even further and she turned it back to Derek. “Derek?” She began. “You know that I would've come back for you, right? If things had worked back there. I wouldn't leave you to rot here alone.”
Standing up, Renn approached him with a new stride of determination. “But I did good this time. That was... like, five minutes right? That has got to be a new record.”
She tucked him back into her arm band, rolling her eyes. “What do you mean you weren't counting!? Pfft. You're so useless. Whataver. Let's just go home. We'll find a way out of here tomorrow."
