What Do You Think Is The Best Way to Make Online Friends?
- Thread starter supersav
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Wendy
Member
I've actually wondered this myself since I never seem to find friends online. Might be just because I have always been frighted with the terrors of internet communication. But the times I've gained access to something even close to friendship it has been on a site (like this one) where people share the same kind of interests.
So I guess... here?
So I guess... here?
Hida Tomonatsu
Hida Bushi
It really depends on what sorts of communities you frequent, as the methods for establishing contact and thus friendships and the sorts of people you meet change. Generally, I find it easiest on a place like Discord if you have already have a group of friends on there that share your mutual interests and that are in servers that cater to those mutual interests. While it's not a sure-fire way to find new friends, joining their servers by asking for recommendations and invite links to them can introduce you to new people through a simple task of networking (which is actually a good skill to have IRL, so might as well train it in your free time by making new friends as well). Additionally, Reddit, 4chan, and, to a lesser extent, Discord have specific subreddits, forums, and servers dedicated to specific topics that either the communities you're a part of will be interested in and flock to for discussion. It's pretty easy to find like-minded individuals by jumping into such areas of discussions, though be prepared for a mixed bag as open communities tend to attract all members of a society/community and not all of them are exactly good people.
For a site like this, it's definitely getting into general discussion threads/the live chat and just doing what those things are supposed to be used for, having open and polite discussions with one another. Trade stories of previous RPs in threads about amusing adventures/tales you've written with others, play the forum games and show your unique brand of humor, and present good-natured, polite, well-articulated arguments and counters in the public debate forums , and you'll get at least a few people who'll say that they like you as a person and want to establish contact. There's also the practice of joining RPs and, by bonding over the act of writing a saga together, creating friendships with people you're attuned to writing with.
This last part is coming more from a tabletop gamer point of view, so take it with a grain of salt in terms of if it applies to you. As a tabletop gamer, be careful about using Roll20 to create tabletop groups and calling everyone in said groups your friends - while Roll20 is a wonderful site and tool for facilitating tabletop gaming online, there's a distinct population of oddballs and never-do-wells that will pop up in nearly every listing, asking to join a game. Not going to name names, just be aware that sometimes, people might be lying to you about others on there or trying to take over the whole show from both the GM and the other players. Generally, what I did while using Roll20 to find players was join groups, establish friendships with the people I meshed well with as players and out-of-game as just general acquaintances to hang out with, and after the game ended for whatever ended (a lot of games end on Roll20 prematurely for a variety of reasons; GM or players might get hit with stuff IRL, the group might realize a GM is incompatible with how they play tabletop game, personalities just don't mesh with well, or, worst of all, a player/GM actively working in the background to set everyone against each other), I'd keep in contact with the players I enjoyed the company of and, through them, make contact with even more players like them and me. Networking is pretty key in finding fellow roleplayers, especially when you're just hanging around on Discord or somewhere, not sure of which servers or threads might be for you.
There's also the possibility of attending conventions and hobby stores for tabletop roleplaying, but... well, I haven't had the good fortune to attend either due to living in a part of the United States where there isn't a hobby store reasonably close by and same with conventions. I will say that, based on what evidence I've heard in discussions with those who have attended said events/stores, conventions tend to get you a greater variety of people since the convention itself might be a wider topic such as comics, science fiction, fantasy, or just general pop culture, so you get a good mix of new players who bring a fresh flair to the game and experienced players who know how to run and play a character in the game you're playing without much encouragement. Hobby store wise, you generally have a pretty older/experienced crowd attending them, which can be both intimidating as a new player/newcomer to the start or very welcoming as if they're nice folks willing to help you learn the game. They can introduce you to established groups with games that you can join in as well - however, just a precaution, be wary for the more... out there members of a community, or for just a generally toxic store. While the vast majority of stores are well-run with a fairly polite crowd, almost every store also has one troublemaker who for various reasons is tolerated but considered a ponce by the wider community, and sometimes, you get lucky and are stuck with an entire store of toxic individuals or a store run by a manager who isn't quite all there. If you go to a hobby store, mind your books, sheets, dice, and if you're there for wargaming or card games, your decks and miniatures until you know for certain that the people you're associating with are decent.
For a site like this, it's definitely getting into general discussion threads/the live chat and just doing what those things are supposed to be used for, having open and polite discussions with one another. Trade stories of previous RPs in threads about amusing adventures/tales you've written with others, play the forum games and show your unique brand of humor, and present good-natured, polite, well-articulated arguments and counters in the public debate forums , and you'll get at least a few people who'll say that they like you as a person and want to establish contact. There's also the practice of joining RPs and, by bonding over the act of writing a saga together, creating friendships with people you're attuned to writing with.
This last part is coming more from a tabletop gamer point of view, so take it with a grain of salt in terms of if it applies to you. As a tabletop gamer, be careful about using Roll20 to create tabletop groups and calling everyone in said groups your friends - while Roll20 is a wonderful site and tool for facilitating tabletop gaming online, there's a distinct population of oddballs and never-do-wells that will pop up in nearly every listing, asking to join a game. Not going to name names, just be aware that sometimes, people might be lying to you about others on there or trying to take over the whole show from both the GM and the other players. Generally, what I did while using Roll20 to find players was join groups, establish friendships with the people I meshed well with as players and out-of-game as just general acquaintances to hang out with, and after the game ended for whatever ended (a lot of games end on Roll20 prematurely for a variety of reasons; GM or players might get hit with stuff IRL, the group might realize a GM is incompatible with how they play tabletop game, personalities just don't mesh with well, or, worst of all, a player/GM actively working in the background to set everyone against each other), I'd keep in contact with the players I enjoyed the company of and, through them, make contact with even more players like them and me. Networking is pretty key in finding fellow roleplayers, especially when you're just hanging around on Discord or somewhere, not sure of which servers or threads might be for you.
There's also the possibility of attending conventions and hobby stores for tabletop roleplaying, but... well, I haven't had the good fortune to attend either due to living in a part of the United States where there isn't a hobby store reasonably close by and same with conventions. I will say that, based on what evidence I've heard in discussions with those who have attended said events/stores, conventions tend to get you a greater variety of people since the convention itself might be a wider topic such as comics, science fiction, fantasy, or just general pop culture, so you get a good mix of new players who bring a fresh flair to the game and experienced players who know how to run and play a character in the game you're playing without much encouragement. Hobby store wise, you generally have a pretty older/experienced crowd attending them, which can be both intimidating as a new player/newcomer to the start or very welcoming as if they're nice folks willing to help you learn the game. They can introduce you to established groups with games that you can join in as well - however, just a precaution, be wary for the more... out there members of a community, or for just a generally toxic store. While the vast majority of stores are well-run with a fairly polite crowd, almost every store also has one troublemaker who for various reasons is tolerated but considered a ponce by the wider community, and sometimes, you get lucky and are stuck with an entire store of toxic individuals or a store run by a manager who isn't quite all there. If you go to a hobby store, mind your books, sheets, dice, and if you're there for wargaming or card games, your decks and miniatures until you know for certain that the people you're associating with are decent.
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Iselwyn
Heart Heart Head
I think the best way to find friends online, is to immerse yourself in a group! Either a roleplaying group or a gaming group. Sometimes it can just be by hanging out at the same place (ie a chatroom or discord server) and talking to these people every day. Sharing experiences with them and opening up (while still remaining safe, this is the internet after all XD) makes people want to share as well. Humans love to talk about themselves, so giving someone the opportunity to do that and to relate to what YOU are sharing - that's pretty much how it goes!!
I've made some pretty epic friends in the last couple years and I gotta say there's nothing quite like an online friend, especially for those of us who are a little more introverted!
I've made some pretty epic friends in the last couple years and I gotta say there's nothing quite like an online friend, especially for those of us who are a little more introverted!
Step 1: Go find a thing you like doing.
Step 2: Go see if there's a community into that thing. (There probably is, somewhere.) If that thing you like is an active hobby (eg: role playing, gaming) as opposed to a passive hobby (eg: reading books, watching TV) you'll have an even easier time of it.
Step 3: Notice people are nearby. They're neato and are into the thing you're into. Broach them about thing you're both into.
Step 4: Tell them you're looking for some cool friends to hang out with. Most people will probably be totally okay with that and will welcome a new face. If not, just move on and find another group who are into the thing you're into! (Or another individual. Who knows, maybe there's someone looking for a new friend by themselves, just like you.)
Step 5: You have found people that might become friends. Get to know them through your mutually liked thing. If you like them, they are friends. If they stick with you through hard times, they're good friends. If they've got your back even when you're unpopular, but aren't afraid to slap the shit out of you for being a dumbass, they're best friends. If you don't like them, move on and look elsewhere.
It's just like doing it in the real world, but with the comfort of an anonymous identity you construct for yourself.
--------------------
What, you're still here? Looking for some advice a bit more in depth than that? Well... Alright, but you might not like it.
Why are you looking for friends?
Friends are people you spend time with, because you feel a bond. However, all things change--including bonds. The friends you make today could be enemies or strangers tomorrow, or, perhaps even dead. The only person you will spend all of your life with stares at you in the mirror every morning.
Don't go looking for friends.
Go looking to build an interesting life. Fill it with knowledge and passion, with beauty and hard work, with the joy you've built from blood sweat and tears. When you make yourself interesting, others will wish to be near you, and the satisfaction that comes with that is all upon your shoulders. Rather than asked for, it is provided.
You want to make role playing friends? Write some interesting content. Create a neat idea for a story, or a wondrous character that reflects what you find interesting. If others aren't attracted to it, go back to it, edit it, improve it, make it better, keep doing that over and over until it sits upon a pedestal of your achievement. Then, the people you speak with, will be interested in getting to know you. Then friends are a natural byproduct of life, rather than life an endless pursuit of friends.
There you go. I guess. Back to Christmas Booze.
Step 2: Go see if there's a community into that thing. (There probably is, somewhere.) If that thing you like is an active hobby (eg: role playing, gaming) as opposed to a passive hobby (eg: reading books, watching TV) you'll have an even easier time of it.
Step 3: Notice people are nearby. They're neato and are into the thing you're into. Broach them about thing you're both into.
Step 4: Tell them you're looking for some cool friends to hang out with. Most people will probably be totally okay with that and will welcome a new face. If not, just move on and find another group who are into the thing you're into! (Or another individual. Who knows, maybe there's someone looking for a new friend by themselves, just like you.)
Step 5: You have found people that might become friends. Get to know them through your mutually liked thing. If you like them, they are friends. If they stick with you through hard times, they're good friends. If they've got your back even when you're unpopular, but aren't afraid to slap the shit out of you for being a dumbass, they're best friends. If you don't like them, move on and look elsewhere.
It's just like doing it in the real world, but with the comfort of an anonymous identity you construct for yourself.
--------------------
What, you're still here? Looking for some advice a bit more in depth than that? Well... Alright, but you might not like it.
Why are you looking for friends?
Friends are people you spend time with, because you feel a bond. However, all things change--including bonds. The friends you make today could be enemies or strangers tomorrow, or, perhaps even dead. The only person you will spend all of your life with stares at you in the mirror every morning.
Don't go looking for friends.
Go looking to build an interesting life. Fill it with knowledge and passion, with beauty and hard work, with the joy you've built from blood sweat and tears. When you make yourself interesting, others will wish to be near you, and the satisfaction that comes with that is all upon your shoulders. Rather than asked for, it is provided.
You want to make role playing friends? Write some interesting content. Create a neat idea for a story, or a wondrous character that reflects what you find interesting. If others aren't attracted to it, go back to it, edit it, improve it, make it better, keep doing that over and over until it sits upon a pedestal of your achievement. Then, the people you speak with, will be interested in getting to know you. Then friends are a natural byproduct of life, rather than life an endless pursuit of friends.
There you go. I guess. Back to Christmas Booze.