Smugglers Cove (Love2write and Silence)

Finally it was time for Killian to go home. He could walk some with a cane though it was still painful to put weight on his leg. Apparently the bullet had attempted to make a long term residence in the bone and while it wrought havoc in his hip it had saved him from more severe damage. The arm on the other hand was in bad shape. "Now before you go home remember to get up and walk around a little. Right a minimal amount of mobility will be key to your successful recovering for the hip. In a few weeks we'll probably have to do another surgery on the shoulder. For now it looks like we have 10 different surgeries scheduled for you over the course of the year."

Killian's eyebrows raised some at the number of surgeries he was going to have in one year just for his shoulder. "Why so many?"

"It's reconstructive. There may be more or fewer than that. This is all the best medicine that we have. We have developed surgeries that include a bone booster to help your body heal faster. In your case we'll have to use a larger dose." The doctor showed them a chart. "To help your body restore the balance and heal itself these surgeries will hasten the process with the shoulder and the booster shots will be placed into bones in various places in your body. You have been very hard on yourself and we can reverse the damage for most things, but you're border lining permanent damage in the leg and arm. Mainly the leg that appears to have many fracture sites and who did you let put that metal plate in there?"

"I uh..." He'd never recalled a doctor telling him all this before and Killian stammered a little. "W-well I uh...Metal plate was supposed to stabilize the bone I thought."

Dropping his head into his hands the doctor shook his head. "No...no no. Never. Not for Chippeqouti. It inhibits healing. Yes you needed advanced medical care for the leg, but that wasn't it. We can take it out and try to inject the bone with some booster shots to give it the extra help it needs to heal."

"What are these booster shots?" Killian glanced at Star. She seemed to be just as lost as he was.

Closing his mouth the doctor shook his head and then handed them a few pamphlets. "It basically enhances and hastens the healing power of your body. Right now with all the damage that you've caused I would say you're getting close to compromising your health over all. Your bones are your immune system and the more you damage them the worse your health is. In addition we'll be giving you some anti rot treatment to prevent infection of the bones."

All of this was news to Killian and he shifted uncomfortably in the chair at the doctors office. He was starting to understand a little better why the man had a mandatory meeting before he released them. "Uh rot?"

"Yes." The doctor frowned a little. "You were hit in the hip and because of your overtaxed and compromised system you risk an infection in the bone. We call it rot because once it starts it is very difficult to stop and your bones rot from the inside out. It is an extremely painful disease that starts and I'm surprised you haven't got it yet for number of injuries you have." Making a few more furious notes he slid his chair back and grabbed a discharge note. "If I see you in here for anything besides continuing treatments over the next year I'll lock you in the psych ward."

Killian reached with his good arm and took the discharge note. Passing it to Star he gulped. "I'll uh....Gonna be sure to be careful for the next year."

"Feel free to be careful for more than a year." Motioning to the door the doctor sighed and looked down at the chart. He'd never seen a Chippeqouti acquire so many injuries and serious ones before the age of 41. Typically the stage of bone failure he was seeing was in a Chippeqouti about the age of 160. A little help would restore him and perhaps get rid of the limp. In fact they were using the treatments on elderly Chippeqouti to see if there was a way to lengthen life. It seemed to be working well on Chippeqouti so far and the treatments were proving to be much more effective if they were started by the age of 80.

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Anna didn't know how to get a hold of Star so she waited outside Killian's room one afternoon until she met up with Star and they exchanged contact ID's so that they could message through pads. "Sorry I didn't meet you for coffee. I had a bad day and I forgot."

Now she was here waiting for Kato to get out of surgery. Thankfully it wasn't all that hard to wait here since currently the hospital was their home. Anna knew it was costing an absurd amount and she was glad for once that she had most of her account hidden. Many of the folks that the Gillicks thought had money forced them to transfer their credits to a slush fund that helped to maintain the army.

When Kato finally came out of surgery she smiled at him. "Oh it went just fine." Naturally he was going to try and move immediately to the next conversation. "Umm...No." Shrugging her shoulders she sighed. "I have to admit that I want to be close to Star. Not quite what you'd call a loner. Don't take this wrong. Kato you're wonderful and I love you, but I need a friend too. Star is my best girl friend and we talk about stupid things or sad things. Sometimes stuff that we feel badly about talking to our husbands about. We know that our men are already busy and they worry too much or there is too much already on their minds. Other times Star and I get together just so the kids can play and we can be moms together. It can get lonely just being a mom all by yourself."

Kato nodded. "I understand completely. Its good to have friends like that. I used to talk to Witteck before he was killed." He winced as she shifted to get more comfortable. "Wherever you want to go, I am happy. Where are they staying anyway?"

"Right now they're staying at Killian's mom and dad's place." Anna let out a long breath. "They haven't even decided where they're moving to yet."

"Ah, say what? Killan's parents? I thought they were dead?" Kato asked incredulously.

Anna raised her shoulders as if in question herself. "I guess that's what his aunt thought. We all took her word for it and apparently it wasn't true. Star told me they had a blood test and everything. She practically had to fight him to get him to even meet with his parents."
"Huh. That's crazy." Kato shook his head. "Ugh, can't wait till I'm out of this bed. I'm ready to be in a real house with my family."

"A real house." Snorting she shook her head. "We don't need a real house to be a family or even have fun." Scooting her chair a bit closer to the bed she pulled the covers back and she noticed his eye get wide.Then just to relax him Anna playfully walked her fingers up his exposed arm while she pulled the covers back over him again with the other hand. As she reached the top she leaned in to kiss him. "You look terrible. Should probably get some sleep."

Kato's heart just about leapt in his throat as a hundred protests of why now was a horrible time raced through his mind. Thankfully she seemed to read his silent cues and pulled the blanket back over him. "Heh, I'll try. You do the same."

"You're awfully fun to tease you know that?" Anna moved away from the bed and curled up on the cot next to his bed. "I just had to do it. Should have seen the look on your face."

"I could name at least a dozen reasons why now is a horrible time for...adult activities." Kato shuddered slightly. "You're too cruel sometimes, Anna."

"Not like I planned on taking it anywhere. Bouncing around on a bed is bad idea after having that implant removed from your back." Giggling she pulled the covers up over herself while she nestled into her bed. "Besides I'm on my period."

"Reason number 13..." Kato murmured, slowly drifting off.
A little chortle sounded. "Oh I could give you more reasons Doctor Jones." Giving his name an airy tone she busted out into giggles all over again and tried to sleep though she was feeling far too wild for that. If only....

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Still desperate for some chance, any chance to see her son again Belen made an elaborate meal to take to Star on their first night home. They were probably all tired out and she knew that Killian would be. Chippeqouti slept often and for many hours when they were healing. "Morgan are you ready yet?" Her man always seemed to take longer than he should to get ready. Most of the time she had to wait on him.

"Now remember...." Morgan held onto the pan she thrust into his hands. "If they don't invite us to stay the food is just for them. Don't even plan or think about staying. He'll let us know when he's ready for more."

Killian woke up when he heard Star call his name as she opened the door. "Noooo." Groaning his response he shifted on the bed and winced. He liked the stuff he had at the hospital to manage the pain. Here at home he was feeling a little more tender and he slept more just to pass the time. He had barely answered Star and someone came knocking on their door.

"I just wanted to bring a meal by for you all. Thought you might be tired out after the discharge from the hospital and all that." In Belen's arms was a huge box full of foods and Morgan had a tray packed with cookies and little personal sized cakes. "Also have some tea in that thermos. Eases the aches and pains." Walking over to the table she set the box on it and pulled out a little bag. "It has some extra bags so you can make him another thermos before bed." While Belen talked and described the other little things Morgan dug into a bag that hung from his side. He pressed a blanket against Belen's arm and she stopped and took it from him. "We also got a healing blanket for him."

The blanket crinkled some and it had a sheet like material that was filled with herbs and soothing cedar chips in it. Over top of the sheet was a warm coverlet. "I hope you don't mind." Belen searched Star's face momentarily. "He was my baby once and I can't help, but still feel for him."
 
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Star was surprised to see Belen and Morgan when she opened the door. Though, now that she thought about it, she really shouldn't have been, considering things. She was touched by the amount of things Belen was offering to help Killian's discomfort. She was beginning to realize just how little she truly understood about the chippequoti anatomy. No doubt Belen would be an invaluable source of information.

Claire and the other kids came racing to the kitchen to see the new people and the food they'd brought. "Are there treats!?" Claire demanded to know. Star laughed. "Yes. There are treats. But you can't have them till after dinner." She looked back up at Belen, catching her hopeful look. "Would you like to stay for dinner? I can't guarantee Killian will be up for joining us...but."
The Chippeqouti woman smiled when the children raced into the kitchen. She didn't even have to answer and already Star was pitching in her part. Belen caught her breath when she was invited to stay for dinner and she cast a glance over her shoulder at Morgan who nodded. "We can stay, but we won't overstay our welcome. I'll just help clean up afterwords and then you tell me what you all like to eat and I'll have a basket with some lunch stuff sent to you and some more dinner tomorrow. We never have more than 1 small child at a time and I can't imagine the stress of so many little ones at the same time."
"I've kinda gotten used to it." Star chuckles. "Zach, Claire set the table. Mikey go wash your hands, and not in the toilet." She looked back at Belen. "If you put to food on the table I'll go see if Killian feels up to joining us." She trots to the master bedroom and pushed open the door again. "So...I just invited your parents for dinner. Do you want to eat with us or should I say you're sleeping?"

The woman nodded and she couldn't help feeling a bit hopeful that her son would see her. She caught a little warning glance from Morgan, but she kept smiling while she began to set the food out on the table.
Killian was a little surprised to see the door open so soon again. He had dozed in and out since the knocking on the door and he didn't know if anyone was here or not. Most things kind of passed in and out of his memory for right now. "What?" Pushing up on one elbow he squinted his eyes a little at the light coming into the room. "Step in here for a minute. Gonna need help if I plan on getting up." He had a hard time getting in and out of a shirt. For the most part he hadn't even put one on since he got the hospital gown off, but he wanted a shirt if they were going to have strangers in the house.
When she grabbed a pair of pants he chuckled. "Oh yeah those might be good to." A shirt and boxers was acceptable when it was just Star and the kids, but he'd sort of forgot that not everyone thought it was proper attire for general company in the house. "I just don't want to talk much." Taking the cane from his bedside he shakily got to his feet and started limping toward the doorway. Killian peered over Star's shoulder as she stepped out of the bedroom and he could see that Belen had stopped what she was doing and she looked toward the bedroom with an anxious gaze. This entire house was set up like the hive formation that he remembered in Qouti and the living room, dining room, and kitchen were in the center. Reluctantly he stepped out into the living room and Mikey came charging past to get himself sat down at the table. Soon as Star stepped out both Belen and Morgan turned their gaze toward the bedroom door. It seemed that he was making an effort and Belen's heart broke when she saw how difficult it was for her son to even move. He was quite handsome now that she could get a better look at him. Quickly she poured a cup from the thermos for him and handed it to Star. "Just put that wherever he usually sits."

Star put the cup down at the head of the table and helped Killian sit, supporting his weight with ease. "Claire, turn off the t.v. and come eat." She called to the girl. Even if Killian was all about natural consequence, Claire knew her mother wasn't and a sharp swat to the butt nearly always followed disobedience. She turned off the t.v. and jumped up, running to the chair with her booster seat. Mikey sat beside his mother clapping with eagerness for food. Zach sat uncomfortably by Morgan, looking extremely nervous. "Want a little bit of everything, hun?" Star asked Killian as she began serving food.
It was impossible not to wince when he gingerly started to get himself seated. Star was practically holding him up so he did't just flop into it. Right now it wasn't so much an issue of getting off a flat chair or the bed as it was sitting down. A couch was still far too dangerous to attempt getting out of. Seemed that Claire had gotten pretty good at figuring out natural consequences. She was turning into a very obedient child. Morgan and Belen watched as the children piled into their seats before they each took one. When Zach sat down next to him Morgan winked. "Tell you what. One of these days you might like to see a horse. I've got a few even have some dogs and I've got a few other pets too." He thought he noticed a little glint in the boy's eye when he mentioned dogs. So the children loved animals and that was a good healthy thing. Every Chipp loved animals and if this boy was adopted into the family he would likely learn to love animals too if he didn't already. "Just a little bit of everything would be fine." Killian tried not to sound as nervous as he felt. He was vulnerable right now and easy to kill. They were practically strangers and they were here and they knew he was in bad shape still. When Star gave his plate to him he nodded carefully. "Thank you." He knew it wasn't Star's cooking so he cautiously glanced at Belen and murmured a thanks to her too.

As Star served everyone up she asked, "So Belen, Morgan. What do you two do for a living?"
Belen let Morgan answer that question. The man started out with a smile. "Mostly I work the trade routes heading into the neighboring system. Have a fleet of ships. Belen stays at home and manages the farm, keeps her busy while I'm out. Sometimes she'll come with or such as now we just have a few hired men take care of the place till we get back. Then when the council is in session I operate my business from pad and direction."
"Wow, that sounds pretty profitable."
Morgan gave a modest smile. "It is profitable." Most of the time it was not proper to discuss money, but he knew they came from different backgrounds. "What kind of work are you familiar with?" For now it was a polite question though he already knew some from her book. "Or is there a job that you had thought about doing at one time that you still want to try?" While the questions all seemed to be completely harmless Killian wasn't sure that he liked strangers asking any question. He knew they were talking to Star right now, but he still felt nervous.
"Writing is fine. But I do enjoy being home with my family mostly. I've done enough work to last a life time." She glanced down at her scarred hands. Killian's and her's were equally scarred from sharing the burden of the mines. Yet another symbol of all they had suffered and survived together. "Killian was considering putting together a private security firm before the seige. We had most of the paper work done, but its all up in the air now with the city in ruins."
It was all fine till Star began volunteering information about him like that. He was about to protest and Morgan began speaking. "Private security firm. I could use someone familiar with security to work the trade routes." "Uh..." Killian frowned a little. "That's good to know. I won't be working for a while so you might have to find someone else." Morgan chuckled and he shook his head. "If that was your version of showing interest then I'll hold it for you. We've gone this long without one and we could start with some drawn up plans to begin proposing. It can take a while to get this stuff through anyway."

Star nodded, glancing briefly at Killian. She knew the conversation was awkward for him, but if they were going to move forward one way or another, they needed to know about one another. "Belen, you mentioned that you don't have more than one child in the home at a time. Does that mean you have more children?"
This was next to panic worthy. Killian hadn't meant that he wanted the job at all. He was trying to gracefully make an excuse not to have a job and he got one anyway. Maybe Morgan would forget that they ever talked about this? That was doubtful though. Then Star turned her attention toward Belen and it all seemed fine till she asked about the children. "Oh I only have one other child. He's a half brother of Killian's. Still lives on Quoti." The woman smiled gently. "I imagine he's proper by their standards now. Probably wouldn't have anything to do with me." Almost choking on his food Killian quickly took a gulp of the tea. Star had to mention children and he was so glad she didn't write anything about his half brother and especially the part about Killian doing away with Ogen.
Star's eyes widened and she glanced at Killian. "Oh, wow. So 40 years and no other children huh? Seems a long time. I'm guessing Chips just don't have very many children?"
"We don't have many. Some mother's don't like them, but I always wanted more. Sometimes I've wondered if maybe I shouldn't have taken Ogen or waited till he returned with his father before I left." The woman glanced at them. "He was a good baby, very quiet as compared to most."

Star's toes curled under the table. If only they knew. The rest of dinner was eaten with scattered conversation mostly between Belen and Star. When it had finally ended and Belen had helped clean up, Star stretched out a hand to her. "Well, thankyou for the food. It was delicious."
Morgan had noticed the odd expression on Killian's face. It was almost as if the man was begging his wife to change the subject. Was he so uncomfortable with everything that had to do with family? It shouldn't seem that way since he was a father 3 times over now. The Chippeqouti woman nodded cheerfully and she smiled at Star. "I'm glad that you enjoyed it. Need to take care of my boy and his family. Don't you be afraid to ask for help or food. The gods answered my prayer. I prayed for my missing boy for years and now he's here and they have done more than I asked for. I have a whole family with him." Grabbing one of Stars hands she squeezed gently. "I can see that you love him and it makes me glad. Many are afraid to marry Chippeqouti." Once the meal was over Killian remained seated for a few minutes and he remained quiet till Morgan asked him about the bear Cin. That was something that Killian could comfortably talk about. He loved his pet bear and he knew that while the bear was likely gone he still missed it.

"I will let you know if we need anything. But for now you've don't more than we could've hoped for." Star smiles at Belen appreciatively. While Killian may have been nervous of them, she was warming up to them and their care of her family. It was relief to have their support, more than Belen could probably ever know. "We should have drinks sometime. Just the two of us." Star suggested.

When they had gone and the children were in bed Star carried the box of supplies up to Killian. "How are your bones feeling?" If the tea had helped she was to make it point to make it for him everyday. Sounded like it had helped some. She smiled. "I'll make you another thermos that you can sip on throughout the night. Oh, and she brought this blanket. Apparently the herbs in it are key to helping the Chippequoti healing process. Considering how much you have to sleep while you're healing, can't hurt to give it a try." She brought the blanket up to her nose. "Wow, that smells really good. I'm gonna be hard pressed not to cuddle under it with you." She grinned and put it under the sheet on his side of the bed then made him another thermos of the tea.
Star made sure he took several large sips before relaxing and laying down on her side of the bed across from him. She stretched out a hand, touching his arm...it was as close as she dared get for now so that he could sleep without risk of her hurting him. "Good night, Killian." And in a few moments she was asleep.

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When Kato woke the next morning, his body was covered in a fine layer of cold sweat and his heart and lungs seemed to be laboring. The doctor looked to have just walked in and was checking his vitals and glanced down at Kato. "How are feeling?"
"Like I'm running a marathon." Kato wished more than anything he was on the other side of things. That he was the doctor and not the patient. He hated being the patient, especially when his mind was foggy with pain killers.
"An apt description from what I'm seeing. In my experience when patients have implants removed there is an adjustment period as the body learns pick up the slack. The concept of withdrawals would be the best way to put it. However, most patients don't have implants literally sustaining their lives removed without immediate replacement. You would be the first."
Kato chuckled weakly. "I am a first for many things."
"We'll continue to monitor you closely for now and help support your body where we can until it adapts to not relying on the implants anymore." Kato nodded, still breathing heavier than he would've liked." He looked around the room. "Where's my family?"
"Your wife took the children down to the cafeteria for some breakfast. They should be back soon." A nurse replied, stepping forward. She had a clean hospital gown over her arm. "Shall we get you cleaned up? Then after I can get you some oxygen and change your I.v. bags."
Kato nodded and allowed the nurse help him take a quick sponge bath and change into a clean gown. After he was resting back on the bed she put a nasal cannula in his nose and around his ears. "How does that feel, Mr. Jones?"
He took a deep breath, already feeling his heart rate slowing somewhat. "Good. I'll let you know if I need more oxygen. Also you could probably decrease the morphine drip by 15% for the time being. I want to be more aware when my family comes back."
The nurse chuckled and moved to do as he said. "You must come into the hospital alot, knowing dosage like that and clearly understanding medical procedure."
"I do actually. I am a doctor..."
"Are you? Really?" The nurse looked at him in surprise then her mouth widened. "Oh! You're one of the doctors that came with the injured in the first wave from the seiged planet."
Kato nodded.
"Well, I owe you my thanks then. My brother survived because of one of you doctors down there risking their lives for him." The nurse patted his arm gently. "Can I get you anything else, Dr. Jones?"
"No...yes...actually. If you wouldn't mind. There is a favor I'd like to ask...when you have the time."
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Kato rested until Anna and the children came back from breakfast. He opened his eye, smiling and raised the bed up. There was a large bouquet of blue and white flowers at his bedside with a note stuck among the petals. "Good morning, Jones clan." He was glad his heartrate had finally calmed somewhat and his breathing had evened out. He still felt like he'd run a a hard race though. "Why don't you look at the note and see who the flowers are from." Kato suggests to Anna with a teasing smile. Anna opened the note and Kato couldn't help but grin at the look coming to her face. To Anna, the love of my life...and the only world that matters.
 
Surprisingly the tea was helpful and though Killian was skeptical about the blanket he let Star put it on his side of the bed. Killian's side of the bed had a mount of pillows on it. Of course Star wanted him to sip on the tea all night long. "Do you want me to have to get up every 2 hours or something?" He hated to have to get up and especially at night. Just to make her happy he took a big gulp of the tea and set the thermos on the night stand next to the bed. "If I wake up I'll have some." Of course since he had drank so much tea at dinner and that night he did have to get up, but he felt pretty good as compared to even the hospital. Whatever his mother....Belen, Killian had to keep reminding himself that it wasn't his mom. She was not his mother in any sense of the word. Genetics had nothing to do with being related.

Still what she had brought was very soothing and he came back to bed and settled in. By the next morning Killian sat up and he reached for Star. She was still sleeping and the kids were too. How early was it? Glancing at the clock on the wall he smirked. 6:30. Kids didn't usually get up till 7:00 and as tempted as he was to wake her up so they could have some alone time he wasn't sure if it was something that Star would appreciate. She was keeping longer hours than he did and right now with the kids being at home all the time he didn't see how she could have possibly had a chance to take a nap.

Killian let his hand hover over Star for a moment and then he decided that he would wake her up after all. "Hey." At first she looked a little concerned. "Nothing wrong. Just wanted to have some time with you."

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The little woman ventured out of the room to get something to eat after Kato came out of the surgery. She was a little worried about how he was doing. When she came back Kato had a little nasal cannula on and he almost had a pale tint. "Oh honey." Sitting next to him she glanced at the flowers and she grinned a little. "Really? You think I don't know who sent these?" Maybe Star, but she was busy so Anna didn't have many others to guess at besides Kato. "Lets see who my most recent admirer is."

Opening the card she chuckled a little and leaned in to kiss Kato. "My lovely predictable man. Part of what I love about you. I'm starting to figure out that you're not quite fickle with your love and that helps too." In many ways that had become one of the more difficult lessons. Anna had never been in a relationship with a man where he loved her so completely. Never had she even ventured to think that she would have such a man in the end. Grabbing one of his hands she kissed it gently. "You have no idea how much I love you and I don't think I know how much you love me either." A little giggle sounded as she let his hand gently down to his side again. "Now it sounds like you're doing well and all that. Don't worry I've cornered your doctor and pestered him a few times just to make sure you really are ok."

She knew that it probably wouldn't surprise him either. "I've told nurses that I'll hunt them down at their stations and I think they all assume I'm a little terror." While some of it was in jest Anna figured he got the idea. "Can't have you dying on me." Sitting back in the chair she sighed. "So what do you need while I'm in here hovering? "

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That evening Belen and Morgan arrived with more food. "I brought more tea since I got your note. Glad to hear that it helped. Was lunch good?" She was anxious to know that Killian was going to be alright.

Morgan set a hand on her shoulder. "I'm sure he'll be fine." In general his wife was far more easy to get riled especially about her boys. Neither of them had held any hope out for the oldest one sine it seemed that most of the Chips on Quoti had been wiped out. They were a strange and superstitious sect of the people. Some of the superstitions were kept alive in Belen and her strange herbs and teas were proof of it. For the most part the Chippeqouti from her planet had prayed to many gods and they learned a different kind of medicine. One that the Chips here didn't practice and nor were they familiar with it.

All the talking in the center of the house got Killian's attention and he decided to get up. As strange as it felt he did in part want to see Morgan again. The man was nice enough and he seemed to enjoy talking about animals. Horses were something that Killian had never been around and he wanted to learn a little more about them. Part of him wondered if Morgan had brought his reference guide and animal medicine book. Hobbling out of the room he waved to them. "You're staying tonight again?" He nodded a little when the couple nodded. "Good. I got a few questions."
 
Star took a startled breath as Kilian's hand pressed against her shoulder. She rolled over, and looked at him in confusion. Was he hurting? Did he need more tea? She relaxed as he smiled and explained. "Oh? Yeah...I'd like that too. Feels like we haven't had any in forever." She scooted a little closer to him. "How are you feeling? The blanket work at all?"
"I'm feeling alright. Slept pretty good if that's what the blanket was for." Gradually a slight frown came to his face. "We should talk about you. I'm pretty familiar with myself."
Star chuckled. "What do you want know?" She brushed a hand gently across one of the scars on his chest, her eyes softening as she looked at it. He'd come so close to dying so often...it was becoming a normal way of life. She didn't want this to be normal. "Hmm?" She looked back up at his green orbs.
She put him on the spot and Killian froze up momentarily. "Uh...." Killian glanced down at her hand as she started to play her fingertips across the scar. He had plenty of them. For the moment she must have been a little bit in her own world and he grinned at her. "I didn't even get to ask you a question and you already zoned out." Scooting a little closer he winked at her. "How about you tell me how you're doing? Are you still uh...." It was difficult to know if he could or should even say it. "You still upset about the baby?"
Star smiled sadly. "A little. But like you said...we can always have another one. I'm just not sure now is the time...with everything in limbo and we already have three kids to take care of as it is." She sighed lightly, wishing she didn't have to be so careful about how she touched him for fear of hurting his current injuries.
The frown still rested on his face and he took a deep breath. "I know. You just seemed really upset and.....Well I wanted to check in with you." Killian wasn't really sure what else a man was supposed to say about something like that. He had just noticed that the little elephant was always in their room and now that he knew what it was about it reminded him to check on Star from time to time.

"Thank you. I appreciate it." She reached up, giving him a gentle peck on the cheek, and rubbing his neck with her hand. "How are you feeling about Belen and Morgan? You know they'd like us to move to their planet, when we're ready."
Talking about his par....the others made Killian a little uncomfortable. "Morgan's nice enough, but...." Killian moved his hand away so he could pull the blanket from Belen a little closer. "She's stifling."
Star laughed. "She's a mother trying to look out for her son. I think she's worried I'm ignorant as hell and take care of you properly."
Somehow Star found the predicament funny and his jaw dropped. "You think she'd actually be that attached? She doesn't even know me."
Star gave him a look. "I didn't really know the babe I lost...and I'm still hurting for it. She had you for five years before she had to abandon you. Of course she's still attached. What mother wouldn't be?"
Star smirked. "Well, give her another week or so to adjust to you being back. And if she still won't back off, I'll talk to her. Ok?"

"You like them!" Killian almost had an accusing tone. "This means I'm never going to get away." Just so she knew he wasn't completely serious he grinned at her. "Might not be such a bad thing."
"I do like them." Star admitted. "They just feel like...home. Safe. We haven't had that in such a long time. I just want to know we're safe. That the children are safe. When they are around, it kinda feels like we are."
Taking a deep breath he thought for a moment. "So you want to at least try moving home with them." It seemed to be a safe assumption. "You'd have help with the children, safe environment, and someone else to talk with about things...."
"We don't have to yet. We've only known them a couple weeks. But...I would like us to think about it...as a possibility, if you are ok with that." Star looked at him hopefully.
Chuckling a little he met her gaze and then looked away before he started to laugh again. "Well here you are being all nice about it. I was just gonna go headlong into it." Part of him was relieved that Star wasn't quite ready. "Then we need to have them here often so we can get this settled into our heads eh?"

Star nodded, then smirked and looked up at him mischievously. "Well, not super often." She slid a hand down his back. "I mean, we still need time...just for us." She smiled flirtatiously, gently pulling his neck down to kiss him, and that was the end of that conversation.
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Kato chuckled lightly as Anna described her terrorizing the hospital staff. He stretched out a hand to her. "I don't need anything. I have you." He smiled lightly, taking in a deep breath of oxygen. "Here you've spent all this time hovering over me and the boys, making sure we survive, making sure we escaped." He stroked her hand with his thumb. "What do *you* need?" Part of him was still terrified that she'd become overwhelmed again and feel the need to runaway, this time for good.
"I don't know." Anna laughed a little. She couldn't begin to put a pin point on all the various little needs that she had and it didn't seem to make sense. In fact it was like a constantly escaping goat. One moment she thought she would have it in her grasp and just as quickly it would dart off. "Can't seem to put a finger on it."
Kato shifted so he could turn his eye better to see her. "Well, tell me about some of the thoughts you've been having. Maybe we can figure it out together?"
"I'm scared." Anna looked at him. "Don't know if I even pass as a decent mother."
Kato looked at her sympathetically. "Because Joe got hurt?"
"It's not just that." Anna sighed. "I don't like little children and mine are no exception. They're little, needy, and mine." She knew that wasn't really what he wanted to hear. "I'm afraid of them. They're so delicate and I have to be the one to make sure that they live good lives as children. You don't know how many times I've just wanted to leave them with someone that I know loves children."
"You don't have to love children to be a good mother, Anna." Kato said. "All you need to do is love them...who they are as persons and want the best for them. The rest will come naturally."
Anna sighed. "And right now they don't have much personality. All they want is toys, food, sleep, and to play. I can't handle the mind numbing ridiculous games."
Kato wasn't sure how to respond. Four years and she'd never made mention of how much she was struggling. He was beginning to wonder just how much he really knew about her. "They wont be children forever. A few more years and they'll start have their own unique personhood. A personhood you got to help shape. As terrifying as it is, it's also kinda an honor...in my mind. We can give them better than what we got for our own childhood and lives."

"Better?" Anna sighed. "I had everything and I don't know how we could top that. Had a mother that loved me, a father that loved me, best education and everything, but a sense of contentment."
"Why didn't you feel content?"
"Wanted more." Sighing she glanced at his face. He seemed to worried about what she was telling him. "Decided I had to know how other people lived and then you know the rest."
"Have you been unhappy...this entire time, Anna? Since Jacob was born?" Kato asked seriously. "Be honest."
Anna shook her head. "No.....It was after Joseph and I feel so guilty cause he's the one that got hurt."
"So, you've been feeling this way for the last two years?" Kato asked softly, trying not show the pain he was feeling over her admittance about this. He took a breath. "Do you think it would help you, if we were guaranteed not to have anymore children? We can just...concentrate on Jacob and Joseph and in a few years they won't be children anymore and you can enjoy them better without fear of another child."
"I don't know." Dropping her head into her hands she started to cry. "I don't know Kato. Sometimes I don't even feel like me."
Kato's forehead knit in pain for her. She was so unhappy, and it killed him that he couldn't do anything about it. He kicked himself for not making sure they had talked about having children before they had. He wished he could hold her, comfort her. "Anna, come here." He winced as he wiggled his way to the edge of the hospital bed so she could sit or lay beside him.
Laying down beside him she sniffled a few times. "Maybe we need some counseling."
Kato put an arm around her shoulders, resting his chin on her head gently. "Yeah. Probably. But more so...it sounds like you just need a break. I know how hard these last few months have been. Once I get out of this bed...if you just need to go on a vacation by yourself for a week or so, then I want you to go for it. Take the time to figure out what you need to feel like yourself again, in the midst of being a mother and a wife. Then...when you come back we'll start seeing a counselor and figure it out. How does that sound?"
Peering up at Kato she shook her head. "Terrible. I just want to be normal and I want to enjoy being with the boys and you. I love all of you and I can't seem to enjoy anything."
Kato kissed her head, stroking her hair. "I was going to wait until we got settled before finding a counselor. But it sounds like you really could use one now, so...why don't we ask the doctors around here if they can recommend a good one." He looked down at her with his good eye. "I just want you to be able to enjoy life as well."

It all felt so awkward and she started to laugh. "You." Anna shook her head. "You just get so serious about this stuff so fast. Why can't we wait for you to get healed up." Still wiping at the tears from her face she gazed at him. "The last 2 years haven't really been good. Thinking back on it, probably had more do with the events and my fear for the children's lives."
"This is serious, Anna. You nearly left the children and me because of it." Kato replied. He wasn't certain why she was laughing.
Anna kept laughing though it was half sobbing at the same time. "I'm so relieved. Don't even know what to do with myself anymore."
"Relieved?" Kato questioned. Now he was really confused.
"Two years I've been trying to get us out alive and help Star and her family. We're free and his parents have taken over to make sure Star is taken care of. Kato, I don't even know if people need me anymore." Anna carefully placed a hand on his chest.
"Well, you know thats a lie." Kato responded, pulling her a little closer. "I need you. The children need you. Star still needs you as friend."
Bursting into tears, Anna shook her head. There wasn't anything else to say, and all Kato could do was hold her, a lonely tear streaking from his good eye as well.

*******************************************************************************
Another week passed. The more they hung out, the more Star liked Belen. The chip mother was like herself in many ways. Fiery, passionate, observant, and extremely concerned about Killian. It was clear Star knew so little about the physical needs of chips and how to provide for them. Just watching Belen give even a few of the things she had made her realize just how ignorant she was. While Morgan and Killian went to the table to talk, Star ushered Belen over to the living room. "I wanted to thank you. For the blanket and tea. Its really helping. I've never seen him this active or sleep so well after such a serious injury."
The woman smiled. "None of them here know about it. Desert Chippeqouti were known for their understanding of the earth and animals. We're not very bright in other ways." Belen rested a hand on Star's shoulder. "You have learned a great deal more than what I had thought. I've noticed the way you set a hand over his or on his back sometimes. You love him and that is all I could have hoped for."
"I do. He is very precious to me." Star nodded. "That's part of why I was hoping you could...maybe teach me some more things...about how to care better for the physical needs he doesn't even know he has."
A gentle smile came to her face. "I can show you how to use all that is around you for health and healing." The woman nodded her head.
Star nodded. "I'd appreciate that." She looked over at Killian. "There is something else. I've been talking with Killian alot, and he's willing to get to know you all better so we can decide whether or not to move with you back to your planet. However, he confided in me that he's felt a bit..'stifled' by you. He's just not used to having anyone but me care for him. I think it might help if you treated him more like...a friend, someone you're getting to know rather than a son. Just for now." Star suggested.
The woman was slightly taken back by Star's advice. "He is very hesitant to have any family?" She couldn't imagine that being a problem. "Your book helps, but I don't know him. How do you become a friend when he's distant?"
"You need to earn his respect first. Then you can earn his trust. Once you earn his trust, he might let you become a friend. Once you're that, the doors open for you to be more." Star put a hand on Belen's "Belen, it took Killian and me nearly two years to even become good friends. He's very slow to trust. And with the sort of pain involved in his past, it is going to be that much harder for you to earn that respect and trust. But if you're patient...he'll come around."

Carefully she nodded and glanced over at the men. It seemed that they were having a good chat. "Now I know. Even if you think it is good for your child never leave them." Belen looked at Star again. "I see now I should never have abandon him. He didn't like strangers as a baby and until now the last image I had broke my heart. He whimpered at first, trusting I would take him back and then when I turned to leave he started to cry and he could barely speak at the time. Kept calling for me. You couldn't imagine the guilt. Well...." Turning slightly she began to dig into the box of food that she brought. "Have some sweet cakes and I brought a few extra to be sure the children can have some for lunch tomorrow."
"Thankyou." Star took them and set them aside. "I understand a little of how you feel. There is a year, that I skipped in my book. A year where I was tricked onto a ship and it was destroyed and I got marooned on a prison planet. By the time I escaped it had been nearly 9 months. Knowing Claire was out there...without me...was one of the worst pains I've ever experienced. I didn't choose to leave her...but I imagine it was pretty close to how you felt about Killian. Still, there is hope for reconciliation...even if it may take a while."

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Kato stood with the help of a cane, his body protesting every move. "Ooh..." He grimaced as he took another step from the bed under the watchful eye of the nurse. "Easy. Don't push yourself to much." She warned.
"Heh. Don't worry. I know my limits." Kato chuckled, taking against step. The more he moved the more his body loosened and the easier it got. The nurse shook her head. "And here I thought you'd be down for at least another week." She chuckled, taking a few more steps back, encouraging him forward like a mother would her newly walking child.
"Got too much to do to stay down." Kato smiled as the movements became more fluid. He looked up as Anna came in with the boys. "Anna! Boys! How are you all today?" He grinned as Jacob hugged his leg. Joseph wiggled in his wheelchair, stretching out his hands eagerly to Kato. "Look at you, moving around. Pretty soon you'll be walking again like me, eh?" He knelt before the boys giving them a plethora of kisses and hugs before standing up and giving Anna the same. "I thought maybe we could do a picnic or something today. How's that sound?"
"You really shouldn't over do it so soon, Dr. Jones." The nurse warned.
"Don't worry. I won't. I'll just share Joseph's wheelchair if I get too tired." He winked at the boys. "What do you think? Think there is room on your lap there?" He teased, making as if to sit on Joseph who screeched and laughed.

*******************************************************************************************************
"NOO!!!!" Claire screamed at the top of her lungs while a very cross Star stood in front of her, arms crossed.
"Young lady, if you scream at me again...I will spank you. Now clean up your mess. Everyone has to clean up their own messes in this house."
"I DON'T WANT TO!" The toddler stomped her foot.
Star grabbed her arm and spun her, giving her a firm swat on the behind before the toddler could twist away. That only made her scream more. "I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!" Star sighed and pulled the girl with her to the bedroom, sitting her on the bed and closing the door. She could still hear Claire inside screaming, kicking and hitting things. Sometimes that girl had the worst tantrums. It was going to be scary if she couldn't get them under control while she was young. She rubbed her head. The girl was probably going through growing pains again or something. That was usually when the tempers started. She left the door and went to the kitchen where she made some of the tea that Belen had given them for Killian. She'd asked for the herb mixtures that Belen had used in the blanket for Killian in case the children needed them and gathered them together, soaking hot towels in the mixture for several minutes before bringing it all back to Claire's room.

She pushed open the door, only to drop everything. The window was broken and Claire was gone. "Claire!" Star raced to the window. She didn't see the girl anywhere but there was blood on the glass. "CLAIRE!" She raced back inside the house. Killian wasn't in any shape to be running around after her. "Killian!" She raced to the bedroom. "Killian, watch Zach and Mikey. Claire ran away. I'm going to go get her." She grabbed her coat and raced outside, just as it began to rain.
 
She'd finally had a little break and Anna couldn't believe how tight wound she'd been this entire time. Now she was waking up at night too and it was nearly unbearable. The little woman glanced at the boys sleeping tightly in their little beds and she wandered out into the hall and then up to Kato's room. He would get moved back to their room again in time. Part of her was fearing that he wouldn't want her. There was so much chaos in her mind. Still she remembered those ridiculous mounds of blue flowers that he had ordered and thought himself so sneaky.

It would be worth it to fight for him. Most of what she needed was a friend to talk to. Someone outside and preferably not Killian. Star was going through so much right now and..."Ooooh." Clenching her fists Anna walked away from the doorway and made her way back to the bedroom room with the boys. Joseph was about to be released and that would be welcome. Perhaps she could find a semi decent place for them to rent until she found out where Star and Killian were moving to. Considering the fact that she hadn't heard anything about her father she was starting to think that maybe he had been killed during the raids. It might have been a rotten little idea, but Anna laid down on the bed and began scheming ways to get Star, Claire, Killian, Zach, Mikey, and Killian's parents all together with her and Kato, Jacob and Joseph.

Mornings seemed to be good times to catch Kato and Anna took the boys up stairs to go see him. When they walked through the door her eyes widened slightly. This plan was going to have to be a bit faster since Kato was already making himself walk. A smirk came to her face as he teased Joseph about there being enough room in his lap. "Ooh there's always room in my lap if you need."

Kato flushed red slightly and the nurse giggled. "Anna...really." Kato cleared his throat.

Since it got a reaction out of Kato she grinned. Only the adults in the room knew what she was talking about. "I'm the biggest one here so....Right boys?" Both the boys piped up and gave their approval of the plan. Anna shrugged. "So now it's all settled Dr. Jones. You'll just have to make use of my lap."

Kato shook his head at her and took her arm. "So...how about that picnic?" He asked, quickly changing the topic.

"Mmmm.....I like picnics. Especially when you're there." Anna could hear the nurse was about choking in her attempts not to laugh as the woman made her way out of the room. "What else do you have planned?"

"Uh, not much. Just...hanging out together. As a family." Kato squeezed her hand. He couldn't do much for them in the condition he was in at the moment. But he had to do something...even something simple like a picnic. He took the family downstairs and towards the gardens where he'd paid a man to set out everything for him since he couldn't. As he'd directed a blanket with a picnic basket came into view, set out in middle of the garden. Inside there would be sandwiches and cakes. Juice for the boys and champagne for the adults.

Smiling gently she felt him take hold of her hand. "Oh that sounds like a wonderful plan." Anna was trying hard to find herself again. She wasn't a spy anymore and she couldn't keep on living life at the same pace. Now she had to find out who she was when she wasn't involved in something bigger than her family life. Stepping out into the gardens a smile came to her face. "Now this is impressive." Wrapping one arm around Kato she braced herself to help him sit without Kato toppling. Somehow he seemed to be a little unsteady and that was to be expected.

Kato couldn't help the subtle pained groaned as she helped lower him onto a nearby cushin. His spine was still sensitive from the procedure and there was still a bit of inflammation. "Heh, feeling like an old man again." He teased, then realized just how bad a tease it was considering both of them were concerned that the removal of the implants might trigger the disease again. "Uh...no...not an old man...just sore." He stammered, trying to correct himself quickly.

There was a momentary panic and Anna stared at him. So far the doctors hadn't discovered that the disease returned that it was flaring and she narrowed her eyes. "Are you sure its just sore?"
"Yes. I'm sure. Sorry, it was a poor choice of words. I'm horrible at making jokes...you know that." Kato gave her an apologetic look.

Quietly Anna began to pull out some plates and serve up the food for the boys. Glancing up at Kato she shook her head. "I'm determined that someday you'll have a sense of humor and that was a bad attempt."

Kato chuckled. "Four years and I still haven't gotten any better. The funniest part of me is my funny bone." Jacob giggled and Kato smirked. "Well, at least he thought it was funny."

Almost groaning Anna looked at him. "That's not funny either. You complain whenever you hit it." Giggling a bit she shook her head. "I'm going to serve you pickled pigs feet and see if that helps." Both the boys wrinkled their noses and giggled. They knew their mom wouldn't do that.

"You know....they say pigs feet is very good for making your skin and hair glow." Kato nodded seriously.

Anna smiled. "Oh....Do you think he'll glow in the dark?" Joseph giggled and nodded. Feeling a little mischievous Anna smirked. "Good. Then I can find him when we play hide and go seek at night."
*********************************************************

For whatever reason the blanket made sleeping so much easier and Killian didn't feel quite as sore if he could get a good nights rest. By now he was almost ready to start trying to play with the kids and spend a little more family time with them. Up to this point Killian had mostly been able to have dinner, but he was getting more energy and far quicker than he had thought. The hip hurt, but it was healing in good time and he was about due for a check up with the doctors. Tonight he planned to maybe sit up and play a few games with the kids. He could maybe chase them though he would have to be slow about it. His hip didn't allow for him to move all that fast yet.

Killian had gotten his pants on and some socks when Star threw the door open. Putting his good hand out for balance he hobbled fast as he could toward the doorway of the bedroom. She didn't really give him a chance to say anything and she was gone. Probably just as well that she was the one looking for Claire. This was one of the times that Killian felt absolutely helpless. He supposed to be the one to take care of these things. Star was far better and sitting home and trying to be patient while he went out and searched. Besides he was typically faster though he couldn't say that either anymore. At least for a while. "Mike and Zach lets have some snacks." That was a good way to try and not move too much while making sure he had the other two here.

Wandering into the kitchen he found a few cookies. There was at least 15 cookies and he grinned. That meant that Belen had left enough for everyone to have three cookies. "Ok." Only being able to use one arm sometimes proved to be a hassle. "Zach you pull out three cookies. One for each of us. Let Mikey pick his first, then you, and I'll take the last one." Of course Mikey wanted the biggest cookie and Killian got the smaller one, but he didn't care for right now. "Go sit down and pick out a movie or something." Limping over to the kitchen window he peered outside at the streets. Still no sign of Star and Claire. Killian couldn't help worrying about them. Awkwardly he made his way to the couch and sat down before he remembered that he wasn't sure he could get out again.

It felt like hours had passed and the boys were busy watching a show when Star came in soaking wet with a wailing Claire that sported a few cuts and plenty of mud to go with her damp curls and dripping clothes. Killian tried to sit forward enough to actually get out of the sofa, but he couldn't get the momentum and neither did his hip have enough umph to get him up from there. Pressing his head into the back of the massive couch he straightened his back and sort of slid off the couch onto his knees. With his good leg he pushed up off the floor and he put a hand on the coffee table to balance himself so he could get up. Walking slowly over to where Claire was he grabbed her by the arm and started to pull her toward the bathroom. "I'm going to talk with you about something while your mom washes you up."

Claire tried to struggle a little at first and then she caught the look in her mother's eye. Finally she stopped and let her father drag her to the bathroom. Stepping into the tub she crossed her arms and stared at her parents with an angry gaze.

For the time Killian wasn't quite concerned about Claire's feelings and he sat on the toilet seat lid. He had never been so close to losing his temper with the children and Killian brushed his one hand through his hair. "What the hell happened Claire?"

"She made a mess with her ceral, dumped it all over the floor. I told her to clean it up and she wouldn't, just screamed at me. So I spanked her and put her in her room." Star explained, her arms crossed, eyes narrowed.

Killian's face contorted with a mix of rage and some attempts to contain himself. "That's it!" Leaning a little closer to Claire he got eye level with her. "You need to grow up. Time to start helping her cook, clean, and do the laundry. You're going to do everything with your mother till you can appreciate what she does for you."

Claire was still glaring angrily at the both of them. "I, don't, want, to. I hate her. She's mean." Star’s expression softened into a pained look, and her crossed arms fell to her side. “What? Why do you think I’m mean, Claire?” “Daddy lets me do whatever I want! You always put me in my room or give me spankings. You’re mean.”

This wasn't really going to help and Killian could tell. Instead the girl was screaming at her mother and he couldn't fix it cause she didn't think he did anything. Instead he sighed, reached up and pinged her right in the lips. "Well that's going to change and you don't talk to her like that ever again." He hated that he had to do that, but he didn't know what else to do and she was too tiny to do much else. "I'm not going to let you do whatever you want anymore because you just proved yourself to be a brat and that's my fault."

Claire tucked a tiny fist against her lips, looking at him first in shock, then her face twisted and she began bawling like he'd hit her full force. Star sighed. "She's trying to manipulate you now. Again. Like she always does when she doesn't get her way." She knew Claire was just a toddler and didn't really understand what she meant when she said hate...but still it hurt, alot. It hurt that her own child thought she was cruel and unlikable, despite everything she'd done for her.

The surprise on Claire's face was expected, the tears were not. Almost instantly Killian started to get worried. He was big and he knew that. What if he really hurt her. "I-I uh...." Killian glanced at Star and he tried to get his mental gears turning again. There was nothing like the kids and Star to put him off. He didn't know what to do if they cried and this was especially difficult. Snatching the hand towel from the bar he shoved it at Claire. "Just stop. I don't have time for this. When you're done crying you can tell me why you ran away."

The towel dropped to the bottom of the tub, untouched as she continued to wail with massive sobs and crocodile tears. Star sat on the edge of the tub. "Claire, we're not going to help you if you keep crying like that. Now calm down and talk." That didn't help either. Star looked at Killian and shook her head. "Let's just get her cleaned up and into something dry and warm. She'll cry herself out in a bit."

Killian got to his feet and he grabbed her shirt with one hand and pulled on it. At first Claire didn't cooperate and he ended up lifting her clear off the ground before he set her down and pulled again. This time her muddy little curls bobbed as she ducked her head so he could get the shirt off. "You're going to have to tell Belen and Morgan what you did too."

Claire just continued to cry. Now that the shirt was off they could see a long cut up the side of her ribcage where it had caught on the glass when she'd crawled out the window. "Oh, man." Star sighed. "Get her washed off, I'll get the first aid kit." She hurried out of the bathroom.

"Get the rest of your clothes off. We need to get you washed up." When the girl didn't respond he leaned into the shower and turned it on. "Your choice." Claire had begun to stomp her feet and scream at him even trying to his his arm in the sling that was thankfully strapped to his body so it didn't jostle his shoulder much when she hit him. Killian stepped into the water with her and started to wash her down.

Star came back with the first aid kit. Claire was coughing and spluttering as she tried to cry with the shower raining down on her face. Her pants still on, her face red and her fists curled...the scene was almost comical. Almost. Except for the fact that Star had been suffering through this for the last year or two. She'd tried to explain it to Killian...but until now he'd never experienced it for himself nor had he understood why it was such a big deal. "Welcome to my life when you're not around." Star sighs at him.

Somehow Killian couldn't help himself feeling a little irritated that Star wasn't helping him very much and instead she was letting him stand in the shower with the girl while trying to get her cleaned up. "This is the last of it." Growling he turned Claire with his one hand and then grabbed the shampoo bottle. Dumping some soap into he hair he began to work it in. "Close your eyes or you'll get soap in them."

Wisely Claire shut her eyes tightly though her mouth was still wide open. She began screaming louder as some got in her mouth and on her cut. "It hurts!" She bawled, her hand touching the cut. She barely took time to breath and spit out the soap before was crying again. Star came forward with towel and wiped the soap from the cut, then covered it as she helped Killian rinse the last of the soap from her hair and body. She unbuttoned Claire's pants and pulled them off, throwing them to the other end of the tub and scrubbed the last of the dirt off her ankles and feet.

The sling was soaking up water and so was the foam pad that held his arm out from his body slightly. Killian beckoned for Star to hand him the soap again. "Claire I'm gonna dump this damn bottle down your throat if you don't shut up."

"Killian..." Star's tone was disapproving. She took the conditioner, put a dot of it in her hand and rubbed it together in her palms, gently massaging the suds into Claire's curls. "Claire...you've cried enough now. I know you're hurting and tired. So just relax, and afterwards we'll have some tea. And if you're good, we'll have some treats." Claire's crying finally faded to a soft whimpering and Star looked up at her husband knowingly. "Getting angry doesn't help." She said. "It just teaches them to get angry." She turned off the water when the last of the soap was gone and wrapped a towel around Claire before tossing one to Killian.

Eventually Star got the girl to stop and Killian stood off to the side while Claire got finished with her bath. When Star threw the towel to him he took it and tried to get dried off as best he could for now. He was going to have to wait until they were out of the bathroom so he could take his pants, socks, and boxers off. All of them soaked. In the meantime he pressed the towel against the foam pad to get some water out of it. "Yeah well, what else was there to do?"

"Speak calmly and if that doesn't work...wait it out. That's usually what I have to do." Star replied. She put a large bandage over the cut and then escorted Claire back to her room to get some clothes on.

Sometimes the way to handle things with children was exasperating. Killian's eyes widened slightly and he shook his head in wonder. He would have never guessed. It all went to show how much he didn't know about children. Pouring soap down her throat? What was he thinking? Once the girls were done Killian got himself stripped and he wrapped the towel around his waist before ambling very slowly toward his bedroom. A dull ache had set into his shoulder and he figured it was a good time to put on another pair of boxer and pants then crawl into bed.

When he got up later Killian noticed that Claire was now playing with her brothers and pretending to be completely innocent. They only had a few minutes before Morgan and Belen were going to come for dinner and he took the moment to give Star a hug and a kiss. "You ever find out why she did it?"
 
Star looked at him wearily as he asked why. She shrugged as she stepped back and pulled off her own wet clothes. "Claire was angry. She didn't really need another reason." Star sighed. She used a little hand towel to dry off the remaining dampness in her hair and on her skin. "I hope you see now what I've been trying to tell you." She said, putting on a dry bra and shirt.
"Ugh..." Killian frowned and nodded. "A kid that acted just like me.'
"If they are going to learn, we are going to have to be consistent in the way we punish and reward them." Star said, pulling on a pair of pants. "And you can't lose your temper and start yelling at them either or making stupid threats like you did in there. That only makes things worse."
Rolling his eyes he sat on the edge of the bed. "Yeah? It wasn't a threat. I was so mad I was gonna do it."
Star spun towards him, looking at him in horror. "You what? Killian...how the hell is that ok!?"
"I don't know." Killian rested his hand on his head. "I've never touched them or disciplined the kids cause I'm scared to. Never had much of an example to go by. If we just have a plan I can go by that."
Star sighed and sat down next to him. "I'll try and write out what I normally do with them and you just follow that...for now. And if you're not sure...just calmly send them to their room and come talk to me. Ok?"
"Ok." Killian winced a little and he grabbed the thermos to take a drink. "You want some before I have a drink?"

"No." She waved her hand and stood. "Your parents are going to be here any minute and I'm not ready." She hurried from the bedroom to the kitchen to try and prepare the meal that had been so rudely interrupted by the fiasco with Claire. The girl's cereal was still on the floor, with Claire conveniently forgetting about it. She threw a blanket over it, not having time to clean it up.

At the very least this whole thing had opened Killian's eyes and he was willing to work with her on it. Still...him admitting he'd been about to pour soap down a toddler's throat worried her. Was he really so incapable of common sense with children? She was going to have to watch him closely. Belen and Morgan knocked on the door and Star put on a smile, all inner turmoil deftly hidden away as she opened door in happy greeting. "Just running a little behind. I'll be done with the meal shortly." She promised cheerfully, the tension in her forehead hidden beneath strands of loose hair and any hint of the chaos, from naught but a moment ago, was no where to be found.
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THREE MONTHS:

"Off we go to another planet. Seems like the four of us just can't stay put." Star smirked as she helped Anna and Kato load their things onto the transport. "Belen and Morgan say that its warm and peaceful. The gillicks don't dare attack. I certainly hope us going there doesn't jinx things." She said half teasingly.
"I highly doubt that a handful of humans, half-humans and a chippequoti can alter then balance of an entire planet's saftey." Kato replied, walking by with another box. He'd gotten a prosthetic eye a few weeks earlier and it looked nearly identical to his real eye. One would have to be an expert to tell the difference. He still struggled with migraines from time to time but they were becoming more rare and usually only came on if he'd overworked or over stressed himself.

Star was excited to be moving. She'd gotten rather close to Belen and Morgan in the last few months and Killian seemed to be warming up to them as well. The kids already referred to them as grandma and grandpa. Of the kids, things were...interesting. Killian was having great difficulty disciplining them appropriately outside the direct specifications of what Star had written for him. Especially when they cried pathetically as if he'd hurt them. She was difficult, but Star knew they'd figure it out. And while a large part of her really did want to have another baby, she knew they simply weren't ready.

Killian had healed nicely, for which she was grateful. After the doctor's talk he'd been exceedingly more careful and conscientious about his bones, especially after hearing about the rot that could happen. That had shaken Star up as well. It made her even more determined to find a safe place to settle, and right next door to Belen and Morgan seemed just that.
 
Belen raced back and forth in the house. She was trying to get the bedroom ready for Killian and Star. The other one for their friends was already set and all the children were going to sleep in the center of the house. That was the best way to ensure that they did not cause too much trouble. By now the guys had gotten to be on pretty good talking terms and Killian was out of his sling. They just had to continue with the scans and treatments to ensure that he wouldn't be needing anymore surgeries. Mostly the doctors had been impressed that he healed as quickly as he did. "Morgan do you have the extra kitchen set up on the patio?" The woman figured she would have the men do the outdoor cooking and she could do the indoor cooking with the other women.

Glancing at the clock she shook her head. "Oooh the time." It was getting away from her. With so many guests coming it wasn't that surprising. All these months she had worked and worked to be sure that she had everything and now that the guests were almost here she could have sworn that there were near half a dozen things that she had not anticipated.

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The group was all loaded up and ready to go. Killian did a small head count and found one missing so he began to patrol the ship. "Claire?" He'd seen her rush in earlier and now she was missing. That kid had a serious love affair with anything that meant trouble. "C'mon where did you go you little rat face." If she was in the regular part of the ship it would be ok, cargo bay was not such a good place for a little one to end up.

In the background he could hear the others calling for her. "We're ready to take off Claire and you can't be playing in the luggage." Killian shrugged when he looked up at Star. "I don't know where she went.' Claire even after 3 months thought that running away was a great thing to do. Then he heard an ominous clinking sound in the engine room. How she got in there he didn't know and it was one place she could easily get herself killed. Darting for the engine room he tore the door open and saw her playing with the tools and barely a few feet away from the main hub gear. If she even did so much as tip over it would kill her. "Claire come over here." Instead the girl picked herself up off the floor and started to run with one of the wrenches in her hands. She could dodge under the engine block and run places he couldn't. "Damn it!" Cursing under his breath he took off after her. "Get back here!"

By the time he had herded Claire out of the engine room she had started to climb up the stairs leading to the top of the bay. "You can't be up there when we take off." Grumbling under his breath he started to run up the stairs after her. The little girl started to try and run away again. "No you don't." Killian barely caught her little hand as she started to swing for the edge of the stair case and she almost went over. Running to catch up with her Killian tucked Claire under one arm and the two of them made a rough tumble down the stairs and at the bottom she bumped her head.

Killian rolled onto his back and he groaned a little which was cut short as Claire stepped on his stomach in her scramble to get away and she gave him a dirty look before running to Star crying about her head. Thankfully the rest of the trip was far less eventful and Killian started to wonder about putting Claire on a leash if they went into public.

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When the ship finally arrived Belen stepped out and she brushed a few dark wild curls away from her face. One of the first ones off the ship was Star and then the kids ran out ahead of her. "Oh hello!" Giving the kids a big hug she frowned a little when she saw the bruise on Claire's head. "Where did you get that?"

Claire turned and pointed to her dad. "He did it." Getting blamed for something like that could have been embarrassing, but this was irritating. Killian looked at the girl. He had more bruises than she did from the stupid stunt she pulled. Then to make it all worse his mother was giving him a serious expression like she thought he was beating on the kid.

The woman waited till the children had passed to go say hi to Morgan. "Killian I can't believe you!"

"Whoa, easy." Star stepped out on Killian's behalf her eyes narrowing slightly at Belen. "Claire was being a brat and just about tossed herself off a two story platform. Killian was rescuing her."

"Oh is that all?" Belen swallowed and looked between the two of them. "It's uncommon for a Chippeqouti to get bruised and...." The woman sighed. "Well...they are frustrating to raise and it wasn't terribly uncommon where I came from for them to get beaten on occasion."

Killian figured the best way to make the woman stop talking was to either walk past and be rude or just hug her. Since he didn't figure being rude was the right move he pulled her into a hug. "She is frustrating as hell to raise. Now what about that thing you wanted to show us?"

Smiling a little as she was released from the hug Belen nodded to Killian and then grabbed Star for a quick hug. "I had that book of herbs that I was going to show you and then the garden. I need to introduce myself to your friends first." Skirting past them Belen went to shake hands with Kato and Anna then say hi to the boys who seemed to be almost lost as if they didn't know what to do so she fixed that little problem by telling them to go into the house and get a few sweets from Morgan.

Star sighed and squeezed Killian's hand. She smiled up at him. "I'm proud of you. Giving her a hug instead of making a rude comment or something."

Kato shook Belen's hand. "Thankyou for hosting us until we can get settled. You have a beautiful home."

The woman smiled at Kato. "I have the kitchen on the back patio for you and Killian to join Morgan. Men are cooking the meat tonight. I've heard a few things about you too, been quite anxious to finally meet the doctor that saved my boy."

Kato smiled lightly. "The saving has been mutual thus far." He looked over at Anna. "Do you want me to take Jacob and Joseph?"

"Oh no need the children will play in the center of the house. I had it childproofed and I set up plenty of games that the Chip children love to play." Belen nodded and she was quite pleased with herself. "They have the wrestling mat and the padded blocks to throw at each other from behind the fortress walls. All of them games that I remember quite fondly."

"Ah..." Kato cleared his throat as he tried not to overreact. "Well, our children are a bit more...peaceful. Are there other things they can do in there?"

The woman blinked a few times. "I have never met a peaceful child. Is it natural?"

Kato looked a little flustered. "Of course. A firm hand at the right time and they learn certain things are wrong and others are right. Violence being wrong." He looked over at Anna for help.

Giving Kato a completely innocent look Anna then glanced toward Belen and nodded. "Naturally all children are born with a little streak, but we try to raise them to be peaceful and we don't want to encourage that tendency."

With that explanation Belen chuckled softly. "I see. Humans are still born with some of the same tendencies. We encouraged it where I was from so that our young ones learned restraint as they grew older."

"How do they learn restraint if they are encouraged to be more violent as children?" Kato questioned. It seemed backwards.

"Oh you let them warm up and have their fun." Belen glanced toward the sky as if remembering how it all went. "Then you step in after they're nearly wore out and begin to give them specific instructions. If they disobey they will not be allowed to play at all the next day and they are made to watch the others. We want our young ones to be strong and able and as they get older there are more rules about the kind of play. They never hit anyone outside of the mat or house designated for challenges."

"Aw well, thankfully our children are more Human than Chip." Kato smiled weakly. His children had seen enough violence for a life time already.

"So you will not allow them to play with the others?' Belen glanced at Kato with a bit of confusion. "I'm very unfamiliar with your customs. Perhaps Morgan would know other games that you would find more acceptable."

"For now, it would be better if roughhousing is kept to a minimum. Joseph is just recovering from a bullet wound." He patted his youngest's head. "I'd rather he not do anything to strenuous."

Nodding a bit she took the boy's hand. "Good then I have just the thing for you." Belen had a few things she could give the boy and he might like to learn about the way the medicine worked. "I'll show him my garden and Morgan is out back."

Killian stared at the chunk of meat sitting on the grill. "How long do you usually cook it for?"

The older man shrugged. "Till it smells good." He didn't think that cooking was such a big deal and then Kato joined them and Morgan handed him a tray with dozens of different spices. "You wanna mix something to season your meat with? I don't like choosing for others."

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Jacob grew bored hanging out with the men. It seemed that Joseph was content to be digging around in the garden and learning about the plants. He got his own little spot to work and he was happy with that. Since Kato was busy and nobody noticed he peered into the house at the center of it and he saw the mats and all the giant padded blocks. There was even a few padded pole type things. It looked like Claire had taken one up and she charged after her brothers. Looking behind himself one more time he ensured that no one saw when he snuck off.

The little mat was complete chaos and Jacob snatched up a foam weapon to begin fighting the other kids. He didn't even hear the first time his name was called or the second time.
 
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Kato wasn't very good at cooking. Neither was Killian by the looks of it. He stayed mostly silent as Morgan and Killian conversed about casual things, glancing every now and again at the boys to make sure they were safe. His mind wandered as he thought about what Belen had said about how chips raised their children. He knew the chips were much more aggressive. It made sense now why they were that way. They were trained to be aggressive. Their innate violent natures were not tamed and thus, they become the people they were now...which had left them nearly extinct, killed by their much more savage cousins. His boys would not grow up that way! He was determined. He smiled at Joseph who sat in the garden, happily playing in the soil. He turned to smile and Jacob, only the boy was gone.

"Jacob?" Kato got up and began looking around the immediate area. He heard yelling from inside the house and looked around, finding Clarie, Zach, Mikey and Jacob in the middle of a war with foam weapons and blocks. "Jacob! JACOB!" The boy turned, startled by the angry call. Claire took the opportunity to tackle him onto the mat. Kato raced to his rescue as they wrestled eachother and pulled Claire off. He pulled Jacob to his feet and walked him out of the padded arena, his heart pounding. "Jacob, what have I told you about fighting?" He asks in a calm but low tone.
"That its bad?" Jacob looked at Kato. "But we weren't fighting." Looking back at the others and then to Kato again he insisted. "It was a game!"
"Its not a good game." Kato shook his head. "Fighting hurts people, Jacob. Remember how your brother got hurt because of fighting? Even playing a game and pretending to hurt people is not good."
"I'm not trying to hurt them. We just want to see who wins." Jacob looked around for anyone to support his cause. "We don't have guns."
Killian over heard the boy as he stepped into the house and he saw Kato getting all serious. By the last comment from Jacob it was impossible not to laugh. Busting out he walked up behind Kato. "He's right. No guns."
"You don't need a gun to hurt people." Kato looked at him seriously, then glared a little at Killian. "This isn't up for discussion, Jacob. When you're older...you'll understand. No fighting. There are other things you can do. Understood?"
"But I want to play!" Wailing loudly the boy threw his head back and waited to see if he'd get any kind of response. Killian didn't see what the big deal was and he grumbled a little. "So what if somebody gets hurt. They'll learn not to do whatever it was again or they'll be careful. What's the big deal Kato?"
Kato held up a hand. "You have five seconds to stop crying or you'll lose privilages. 5...4...3..."
Kato bent down at his level and spoke kindly. "There are plenty of other ways to have fun. There are horses here and other animals. You can play tag or swing. You can build a fort to sleep in with blocks and blankets. There are plenty of things. You're smart, Jacob. Use your imagination." He tapped the boy's head.
"We can play tag with blocks!" Almost yelling with excitement he started to jump and the other kids cheered while Killian nearly fell off the chair he was sitting in laughing.
Kato shrugged and had to smile. "That's a compromise I can live with." He stood as the boy took off. He sat back down across from Killian, keeping a close eye on the children. No doubt Killian had a snarky comment but he spoke up first.

"Teach a child what is right when they are young and when they older they will remember and adhere to it." Kato looked at Killian. "Think of how differently you would've turned out if someone had taken the time to teach you when you were a child."
There wasn't even time to tell Kato to let up and not be so tight about everything and then the man started to lecture him on his life. Killian glared at Kato momentarily. "You're kinda rude you know that?"
"You're the one who questioned me on my parenting." Kato replied.
"Maybe you could ease up, but I wasn't inviting you to tell me how different I might have been. I turned out pretty damn good." Growling slightly he grabbed a cup of whatever his mother had on the table and sipped at it. "You got all of life figured out and you have to tell me about it. I don't like stuck up people."
Kato leaned forward slightly. "I definitely do not have life all figured out. I just have some very strong opinions on certain matters...such as this. As for my comment, it wasn't a stab at you personally, Killian. I was stating it in answer to your question about why this was a big deal. Its a big deal to me, because I know how training them now will affect them in the future. Just as its affected you, and me, and Star and every other person who had or didn't have parents."
"Not like I turned into a serial killer." Killian put the cup down. "I guess since there wasn't any offense intended I won't take any, but you're still stuck up."
Kato smirked. "That's alright if you see me that way. I'm not looking for your approval." He leaned back in his chair sipping his own drink and watching the children play.
Chuckling a little Killian slid his foot underneath the table and hooked the leg of the chair. "That's alright. You probably couldn't make my approval anyway." With a little jerk he watched the chair tip though he was pretty sure he hadn't lifted the front of it too far. At least he hoped he didn't jerk hard enough with his foot to actually tip Kato over.
Kato gasped, the drink pouring all over him as he scrambled to balance himself. He glared at Killian half-heartedly. "I'm telling your wife. Better yet...I'll tell your mother." He threatened teasingly.
"Eh." Killian shrugged. "Whats the worst that'll come out of it? I thought it was worth the look on your face. Besides..." Killian started to laugh. "Star might decide to spank me. Not such a bad thing." It wasn't entirely sincere, but he figured it was enough to either make Kato laugh or get him turning red.
Kato stammered, turning a tint of pink. He stood up and looked for a towel. "I need to dry this off."
***********
Star glanced over at Killian as he roared with laughter. Kato was standing swiping something off his shirt. She wasn't sure what Killian found so funny but she was glad he was laughing with Kato instead arguing. She looked back at Anna and Belen as the women talked, smiling at Anna's wit and tongue. Her little friend was clever, she had to give her that. She looked forward to writing her part of the story in the next book. Both her and Kato had been instrumental in rescuing them.

A tangy sharp oder hit her nostrils and her eye brows furrowed as she looked around. The meat was on fire and the men were too engaged in their conversation to notice. "Leave it to the men to burn the food." Star shot up and rushed over to the meat and pulled it off the grill, reprimanding them all the while. "C'mon boys! You have one job! One job! Killian, I expected better of you." She shook her head at him in disapproval.
"I'm watching the kids." Kato raised his hands innocently.
"Ok. Kato has an excuse. What about you two?" Star narrowed her eyes and pointed the tongs at Killian and Morgan.
 
Morgan looked over at Star and then toward the other two. "I came in here to get some of the sauce to put on the meat and then I got side tracked cause I was thirsty." Belen knew that it was normal for Morgan to forget things like that. He always had a busy mind.

However, they all looked to Killian now because he didn't seem to be doing anything. "Rest of you sounded pretty good. I don't have an excuse." Killian stood up and walked over to Star to see how badly the meat was burnt. "Oh still looks good. Better than the last time I cooked."

"Barely. It still smells like Ash." Star shook her head at him. "I honestly don't know how you managed to not starve before I came along." She smirks.

"Guts of iron, remember?" Killian laughed a little about that one. Last time he claimed that...."Wow that's been a while since I used that phrase." Taking the plate from her he looked at the food and then back at Belen who was practically beaming. Was she actually that pleased or did she think it was funny that he couldn't stay focused long enough on the food not to burn it?

"Yeah and then you were burping and giggling all night if I recall." She took the plate from him and began cutting off the charred parts, trying to salvage what she could. "Shoulda listened to the bippens. Then again, they went and enslaved the majority of the chip race so..." She made a face then looked up Belen. "We may need more meat." She says apologetically.

Killian frowned. "Men don't giggle." While he was watching Star his mother came over and handed him a little more meat. "So uh...I guess I get another shot at this."

"Yes, but I'm watching you closely this time." Star pressed against him. "Maybe you can actually learn to cook something for once."

Walking out the back door Killian put the meat on the slats that hung over the fire. "Why do I need to learn to cook when I have you?"

"Well, there are times when I'm sick or something and I can't cook. You knowing how to make something in those times would be helpful." Star seasoned the meat.

"That's why if I'm near a store I just go buy something." Killian smirked a little. He knew that wasn't what she wanted to hear. "Alright I'll try to focus here."

"Good." She showed him the different seasonings and how much to put on, then gave him an approximante time limit to use before checking the meat again and what it should look like when that side was done. "When you have sauces like the one Morgan brought out you just baste it across the meat every 7 minutes or so. Keeps the meat juicy and fills it flavor." She explained and showed him how to baste it. "Now you." She handed him the bowl and tongs.

Killian took the bowl and tongs then stared at the meat for a few moments before he realized he was supposed to be basting it. "Oh yeah." Setting the tongs aside he spread some of the sauce over the meat and then set the bowl down. Just staring at the meat was boring so he turned to see what else was going on. One of the horses was playing inside the corral and Killian walked over to the edge of the patio and then after a little more observation he started to walk off when he heard Star. "What?" Looking back at her he rolled his eyes. "Oh yeah I forgot."

Star sighed and shook her head at him, tongs in her hands. "Its fine. I got it." She'd made sure to stay far from the fence. She'd never seen a horse in person before and the animal freaked her out for some reason. It just looked so...strange with that long neck and snout and those massive bug eyes. Of course Killian was fascinated. All animals fascinate him.

"No no...I'm determined to do this right." Glancing over his shoulder at the horse he walked into the railing around the patio and then remembered to look where he was going.

"Killian, if you want to play with horse, go play with the horse. Really, its fine." She chuckled.

"I can wait. I'm a grown man and if the kids have to wait till after dinner then I'll wait." Even though he very badly wanted to take up her offer he was trying to set a good example for the kids. "Have you ever seen one before?"

Star shook her head. "Only in vids."

"Oh. They're kinda pretty you know. I wonder how fast they run." He was so busy looking back at the horse and wondering about them that he didn't even notice when Star took the meat away from the flame. "Hey what are you doing walking away like that? I'm gonna need the tongs when the meat is done. Should be about another uh....I don't know."

"Its already done, Killian." Star smirked setting the meat on the table. "And I don't see how you can think that thing is pretty. Its, so odd looking. I mean its eyes alone are freaky."

"Well what about the legs? They're so long and........hairy." Busting out laughing he leaned over and kissed her.

Anna glanced at Kato when he stepped up to the table. Now that the rest of the meat was done it was time to eat and she squinted slightly then pointed to Kato's shirt. "What happened?"

Kato looked down. "Oh, well Killian and I had a bit of a disagreement and he thought it would be funny to tilt my chair while I was drinking.

"Hmmm." Anna smirked. "We'll figure out how to get him back later on." Already she was thinking when everyone went outside it might be nice to start a water fight. It was hot here and the only ones that seemed to enjoy the heat were the Chippeqouti.

As soon as dinner started Belen quietly took her seat and she started to pass the food around. All the children took healthy servings for which she was glad to see. It was even better to see that none of her guests were shy. "A cook is always host is always honored when the guests eat plenty." When everyone was only half way through their food she began to pass the platters around again. It seemed that the humans had a smaller appetite, but her son and grandchildren ate large healthy servings. It was good to know that they ate. It would ensure that they would be healthy.

She did however note the mark on Kato's shirt. That was something she would have to talk to Killian about. A Chippeqouti never disagreed with a guest at least not out loud. If you didn't agree with them you didn't say anything at all. Disagreements were only for the nearest friends and a challenge was for an opponent. Considering their stories she figured that Kato may very well be a close friend, but if he wasn't this would have been the height of rudeness and the fact that he purposefully caused Kato to spill drink on himself was rude anyway. For now she planned to wait till the end of dinner and when it was finished she beckoned for Killian to come to the kitchen with her.

Killian grabbed a few plates and followed Belen into the kitchen. "Yes?" The woman had rarely spoken to him alone and it was cause for some concern.

"You must not ever insult a guest or even a friend in such a way." Belen searched his face and it seemed he had no idea what she was talking about. "When you caused Kato to dump the drink on himself." Finally it seemed to be sinking in and she beckoned him over to the sink. "Now I will ask you a few questions about Kato." She had been a bit curious about the man. "Do you consider him a friend?"

"Kato a friend?" Killian hadn't realized how loud he was talking and he continued. "Well if you consider how many times he's got shot at in my company and how much shit he's tried to help with I guess. Yeah I'd call him a damn close friend in that case." Having to think about it put a new light on the doctor. "He did deserve it though."

Belen shook her head. "Shh....They don't all know what we're talking about." Just the few times she had talked with Killian she was beginning to understand Star a bit better. The woman had the patience of a Chippeqouti god. All her gods were patient as they understood that all Chippeqouti were often a difficult people. Even here on this planet there were very few that tolerated the Chips well enough to marry one if they were not born as such. "You must learn some manners if you are to live here. Many take offense at such gestures."

Carefully he nodded. It felt strange to be corrected by his mother this late in life. Killian still planned not to say anything to Kato about the incident. At least not tonight. More than likely he had a little pride at stake and Killian knew that.

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Morgan rose from the table after a few minutes. "How would all of you like to go outside for a while." Of course the kids were the first ones up from the table and they were nearly tumbling over each other to get out the doors. Poking his head into the kitchen the man called to Belen and Killian to come outside. Outside on the patio there were several chairs and a stack of disposable cups. "We'll just relax out here till it cools off and then we can go back inside."

Personally Anna thought that they had it all reversed. They should be inside while it was hot and then they could come outside after it cooled off. Now she understood better why Killian didn't think it was a big deal to be a stifling hot room. He was wandering around perfectly content with the heat. Anna quickly sucked down her water and then she dug an ice cube out of the bottom of the glass and dropped one down her shirt. It rest on top of her breasts for the time and she didn't think that anyone noticed till she saw Kato looking at her. "It is so hot out here."

Kato flushed brightly and looked away in his usual flustered manner trying to reengage with the conversation at hand. He hoped no one else saw it but him.

Just for fun Anna dug into the cup again this time she saw Star watching her and she grinned broadly. Kato was so busy not looking that Anna had an ample opportunity to drop an ice cube down the back of Kato's shirt. He was always so proper and kept his shirt tucked in. Since he was leaning forward slightly there was a gap at the top of the shirt. Casually Anna slid her arm along his back and then she slipped the icecube under the collar and rubbed to be sure that it worked its way down his spine.
Kato leapt up in an exclamation of surprise and distress. He danced around, tugging at the shirt until the icecube dropped out. Star burst out laughing, as did many of the others as Kato turned more red.

She hadn't thought that he would react quite that badly and Anna jumped with him. It was startling to have the person next to jump up like their rear end was on fire. All the children started to laugh and instead of getting a glass of water they began to chuck ice cubes at each other. Anna figured it was the perfect chance to start a water fight and she casually got a glass of water and walked over behind Star to start drizzling it along her shoulders.

Star eeped and lept out her chair. "Anna! You stinker!" She grinned and grabbed a half-full pitcher of water and threw the rest of the contents (ice and all) full on at Anna's face and chest.

Catching her breath Anna blinked a few times and splashed the rest of her water on Star though some of it ventured far enough to get Killian too. Now that Anna started it the kids began to fill their cups at the hose and race about to splash everyone in their way. Belen watched with some surprise and then she figured that it was a game of sorts for hot weather and she quickly turned to splash Morgan who in turn ran for the hose and began to spray down all the guests.

Kato stood a bit stiff, not exactly certian what to do as Morgan hosed him down. He took a gasping breath, strechting out his sleeves, now looking a bit like he'd been nearly drowned.

Racing to his rescue Killian handed Kato a cup of water. "Just go douse somebody."

Kato held the glass in his hand, looking down at it then looking around. Might as well douse the person who had started all this. He comes up behind Anna as she fights with Star and dumps the glass on her head, looking completly serious as he does it.

Anna turned her head up slightly and narrowed her eyes at Kato. "Now you've got it coming Mr." Turning around she grabbed Kato and pushed him in front of herself to catch all the water from the hose so that she could try and fill a bucket she found laying around.

Kato gasped and spluttered as Morgan roared with laughter. Mikey ran by squealing as Jacob chased him. Not looking where he was going he tripped head long into Anna's legs getting the bucket of water dumped all over him. Mikey looked up at her startled, clearly unsure if he should cry or keep playing.

It was almost impossible not to laugh when Mikey tripped into Anna and she stooped to help the boy up in time to see that Kato had move aside. Killian got tired of being caught in the crossfire of Star and Morgan so he ran behind Anna and used her as a shield so he could take the hose over.

Anna let out a squeal when she felt the big hands grab her shoulders and hoist her off the ground especially when she got the full blast of the hose. She was mostly soaked anyway, but it wasn't quite what she had anticipated. "Killian!" She could hear him laughing and she turned her head so she could see Kato. "Get him."

"You started this." Kato spit water from his mouth, wiping his face as Anna was carried away by Killian. He wasn't quite sure how to stop the man aside from tackling him and that would just get Anna hurt. "Killian you cheater!" Star laughed, a bucket of water in her hands. "You can't use Anna for a shiled!" She skirted around him dumping the bucket over his head then leaving the bucket there so he couldn't see unless he let Anna down and took it off

"No you're supposed to get him wet." Anna yelled over her shoulder at Kato who was mostly helpless. "You're missing the point." Killian almost dropped Anna so he could get the bucket off his head and then he started to chase after Star. Leaping over the fencing around the patio he grabbed what was left in one of the unattended glasses and splashed Star.

Star squealed as she tried to protect herself from Killan's watery wrath. She tried race for the pitcher to refill it but she felt him snatch her about the waist. "No! No!" She screeched and laughed, trying to wiggle out of his grip.

"You're gonna get it." In the midst of her squealing and twisting he stepped back and fell backward over the fence while holding Star. By the time they hit the ground he was laughing too hard to keep a hold of her.

She rolled out of his grasp then gave him a peck on the lips before racing off again. Kato, meanwhile, was wringing the water out of his hair while searching for the boys to make sure they were fine. Which they were...running around screaming and laughing as they chased eachother with water glasses and wet shirts.

By the time they had finished with the water fight everyone was tired, wet and overall pleased. Especially the children, they were giggling almost non stop and Belen walked over to Morgan to give him a hug because he hadn't got nearly as wet as everyone else. It was her wifely duty to make sure he got a little bit wet. Pressing her soaking wet body against his she chuckled softly and gave him a gentle kiss.

**********************************

Killian helped round the kids up since over half of them were his and he took all the boys around one side of the house to strip off and the girls went inside. How they were the ones to get privileged with the indoors he didn't know. Walking with his legs mostly apart he waddled to the back door to ask for some dry clothing from the girls. He noticed Anna was snickering and he frowned. "Yeah I know I'm walking like I just peed my pants." Finally Star handed him a bag of clothing that contained a small collection from Star for her men, the stuff for Killian and his two boys and then on top was a change of clothing for Morgan.

Apparently the girls got to change inside cause the floor that they could get soaking wet was a small space and the women wanted more privacy. Killian tried to be careful not to let his scars show too much, but he still caught a few stares from the kids. Smirking he pulled a fresh shirt over his head and looked at the kids. "That's what happens when you get in a fight with a sea monster."
 
Even after years of sporting her scars, Star was still a little sensitive about them. She felt like there was hardly a place on her body that didn't have one anymore. The bullet wound on her chest, the one in her side. The burns from Kavis on her neck and back, the burns on her face and arm from the crashed pod, the ones on her hands from the hard work in the mines and many other various scars from many battles. She did her best to make sure her children never saw the majority of them, though the ones on her neck and face she no longer bothered to hide.

Star felt old and worn...as if the Universe had used her then threw her away to somehow and try and survive whatever horror was to come next. While she knew Killian loved her deeply, he didn't make a habit of telling her just how much he loved and appreciated her. She rarely heard a thankyou or word of appreciation from him. And while she knew it was just his way, at times...she found herself wondering how much she was good for anymore. Even her own child found her frustrating. How much of what she did was noticed? Appreciated even? Was most of who she was and what she did simply expected of her?

As she pulled off her wet shirt she felt a little hand reach up and touch her waist. Claire was fingering the bullet scar she'd gotten in the games. "Mommy got an owie?" The little girl asked worriedly.
"Its an old owie, baby girl." Star ruffled her hair, drying off her skin with a towel and pulling on a dry shirt. "Here, let mommy help you out of those." She proceeded to help Claire change as well. "Did you have fun?"
"Yes! Lots! I got Jacob tons wet!" Claire said excitedly.
Star chuckled. "Nice job."

When they were finally dry Star dropped onto the couch with a tired sigh. She was ready for a nap but knew that Belen and Morgan no doubt had more things planned.
********************

Kato dressed hurriedly so that he could help his boys with their own clothing which turned out to be a very difficult task as they tried to continue playing with Zach and Mikey.
"Jacob, stop squirming. Let me put on your shirt. Joseph, where you going. You can't run off naked!" Kato sighed as he snatched the boy's arm pulling him back to the group. It was hard to see that ugly scar on his son's tiny back. He hadn't deserved to suffer and nearly die like that. The children were still so innocent and young. Full of life and promise, and he wanted to keep them that way for as long as possible.

When they were done he took the boys to see the horses. It was a beautiful thing to see their eyes alight with life and excitement at something as simple as an animal. "Dad! Can we have one!?" Jacob asked eagerly.
Kato laughed. "Maybe when you're older. They are very hard to take care of."
He looked over at Morgan. "I don't suppose any of them are rideable?" He asked.
 
Killian tried not to look at Morgan for a few moments. It still felt odd to have folks stare at him and he got that feeling that maybe they were thinking about the scars and that was all they would be able to see even after he had clothes on. Between the scars on his back and the two holes that went through his chest he knew he didn't look that good anymore. Bullet and stab wounds had a way of making a slight deformity where they had been. Some of the scars looked better than others, though it hardly made a difference since there were others that looked far worse.

He almost rounded the house and he heard his mother yell for the men to stay back for a few moments longer. "I guess the girls aren't ready yet." Looking at Mikey he wandered over and pulled the kid's shirt off again. "You got it on inside out." Mikey swayed on his feet and nearly fell over as Killian shoved the shirt over his head.

When Killian finished up with Mikey he stayed on their side of the house till Claire came running out and he got the warning to be on the look out for her. Snatching the girl by the arm he half drug her with the pace he kept walking. Mikey was content to be held while they made their way down to see the horses. Zach was at least old enough to walk himself at a decent pace and he wasn't as likely as Claire to do something stupid.

Morgan had barely reached the corral with the two other men and the kids when Kato asked about riding them. The older man smiled. "I can get the mare saddled. She's nice and calm. The kids can take turns riding, but you'll have to hold them on if you don't want to risk them falling." Opening the gate the older man pushed one of the horses back and disappeared into the shed part for a few minutes before he came out with a lead and slipped it carefully over the horse's head. Once he had the animal ready he brought it back out and looked to Kato. "Your littlest guy want a ride first?" He had noticed that Joseph had been the most mild mannered of the children and he knew those ones were often overlooked when it came to fun if they weren't offered first.

*********************************

While the ladies changed Belen talked about making some hot tea. It didn't matter what the weather was. Chippeqouti loved their tea and that was all there was to it. When she looked over at Star she noticed that the scarring had gone beyond the side of the woman's face and her neck. A few times she had noticed some of the burns and scar marks, but this was far more obvious. Looking away again she noticed then that Anna had a few scars as well. It looked like not one of them had come out of their lives unscathed. She already knew that Killian had been shot at least a few times and the book was at times vague, but Belen was starting to get the idea that maybe the book was far more mild than what readers thought. It paled in comparison to the people.

Finishing up getting dressed she pushed Claire out the door. "You go with your dad to see the horses." Belen then poked her head out the door. "Claire is coming out to see the horses."

Anna accepted the hot tea from Belen and she watched the men outside with the horses. "You know the difference between our husbands?" She already knew the theory of Killian's and she laughed. Pointing out the window she saw that Kato had held his boys on the horse and Killian just plopped Claire up on the animal and let her be. "Natural consequences guy out there. Is that why Chippeqouti are born with super bones?" Looking over at Belen she caught a semi serious expression from the woman.

"They're not super bones." The woman met Anna's gaze and then peered out the window. "We're made to survive and we do in difficult climates and circumstances that not many others can tolerate. Only we don't last underground. Gillicks are vile and they have bred with the ground seekers. They have created a strange and dreadful breed." Almost absentmindedly she got up and wandered off to her room. A few minutes later she returned with two tubs. "This will help your scars fade." Handing one of each to the women she sat down again and peered out the window. "Tell me a little about yourselves. What does it mean to be human?"
 
Kato looked down at Joseph who had a finger in his mouth and was hiding behind his leg. "Would you like to ride it?" He asked the boy. His eyes widened then he slowly nodded his head. Kato smiled and lifted the heavy lad into his arms, waiting until the mare was saddled to lift the lad up into the saddle and held him while they walked slowly around the corral. Little by little Joseph's eyes lit up even more and his face brightened with absolute joy. Kato chuckled and continued to hold him for a few more laps before doing the same for Jacob who wanted to go a little faster. He thought Killian foolish for just plopping Claire on and hoping she'd stay up right. If she got hurt it would be his fault, not hers.
***************
Star looked at the tub of cream and thanked Belen for it as she slipped it in her purse. "Uh, what it means to be human? Being human, specifically its kinda just a species thing...isn't it?" She replied thoughtfully. "I mean...look at Killian...till a few years ago he had no clue there was a difference between him and humans. And in many ways the only difference is in body strength and weaknesses. "But...being alive, being a good person...that's what really matters."
"He honestly didn't know?" Belen thought for a long moment. "Then did you think he was human as well? Did you sense anything different? What does it feel like?" She was always curious if it was a different sensation in the body to be human. If humans felt their own body differently than a Chippeqouti did. Were emotions different or were they actually that similar?
"I didn't know any different either till about a year later when he found out. I just thought he was large for a human." Star shrugged. "And what does what feel like?"
"What does it feel like to be a human." Belen was almost having a hard time thinking of how to say this without making it sound too odd. "I don't know what your perceptions are of yourselves? How do human feel about themselves and those outside? What kind of emotions do humans experience?"
"Uh, well, as far as I can tell, its about the same in many ways. We have anger, hate, pain, love, passion, joy, desire, sadness and greed and so many other things that we feel all at the same time on occasions. We can be prideful of ourselves and think we are invincible or very aware of our own mortality. We protect those we love with a passion and most have a strong sense of honor and ethics. Kilian..." She shrugged. "He can be insensitive at times and lack common sense in many areas of life, especially when it comes to moral ethics. But...i more so assumed that's just cause of how he was raised than anything different having to do with chips. I have noticed, however, that chips seem to be a bit more aggressive than humans in general. Probably because your people are far less fragile than our own."
Belen nodded. She almost felt bad for humans. They experienced many of the same things and had not the strenght to do as they needed for many tasks. "You are very similar then, but why such weak bones and short life? Does your body age differently?"
Star nodded. "Definitely. We only live to be between 70 to 100 years of age. But most humans reach prime age at 30 then lose the majority of their vitality by age 50 or 60 and have to find much less strenuous things to do with the rest of their lives lest they hurt themselves." She smiled gently, "We learn to live life to the fullest while we can. I don't know why we are so different yet so similar. Maybe...evolution, or something."
The woman started to laugh. "Evolution?" She'd never heard of it though the word seemed to indicate one race superior than another. "If a race is superior it is because the gods have made them so. Considering how fragile humans are I would say that you are a brave and noble race. You conduct many excursions that pose a great risk to yourselves."

Star shrugged and smiled. "Glad you think so highly of us." She took a sip of her tea. "So you believe in gods? How many?"
"No son of mine would pick a race that wasn't noble." Belen looked out the window at the men. She could see a far greater difference in the children when it came to games. It seemed that Claire was far more ambitious than the others. Then Star asked her about the gods and Belen smiled. "We have 7 and 3 are for war, 2 are for death and the final 2 are for family. We make our homes wherever we go and we take our gods with."
"Huh." Star nodded. "Why do you need two for death and three for war?" She questioned
"We make war and win war more than we have the death. There is the time before war, the war, and the time after war. There is only death and the life after death."
"You believe in an after life?" Star asked in surprise. "Does...everyone go there? Or just...good chips?"
Belen shrugged. "I don't know if there are other heavens for those as yourself. The gods of death determine where a soul will go. None of us have been there and back so I cannot say what we see on the other side of life. Some things you will learn Chippeqouti do not question. The gods we do not question, their ways we don't know, we leave a great deal of things to the gods. In the end they will judge as they see fit."
"Huh..." Star found it intriguing but doubted they actually existed. More thank likely they were alone in this universe. Alone to strive, fight and eventually die. She mentally slapped herself. That was a rather dismal thought even for her.

She looked over at Anna who'd been rather quiet. "What are you thinking there, my friend?"
The little woman shrugged. "Oh I find it all very interesting. Not all that often you get to hear about other cultures and their beliefs so openly." She liked to study people and while she didn't particularly believe in any god she didn't mind hearing about them either.
"Yeah it is. I wonder what Killian believes..." Star's face became contemplative. "I've never asked him."
Anna shrugged. "Well I think if it was important he would have said something by now." Even as she finished speaking she could see that Belen almost looked worried. As if somehow it would effect his life. "Maybe he's just quiet about that sort of thing."

Star shrugged. "Maybe." Part of her guessed that his feelings were same as hers, considering the way he lived in many ways. She'd have to ask him later.
****************

Star lay next to Killian that night lost in thought. "Killian?" She suddenly asked and waited till turned his head to look at her. "Do I make you happy? Like, do you ever wish you hadn't settled down with with me or wish I somehow...more?"
By the time they got to bed Killian was tired and a little sore. He hadn't thought much about his shoulder in a few weeks and today all the rough housing had made it a tiny sore though nothing a good night of sleep wouldn't fix. "Hmm?" Turning onto his side he pushed up on one elbow so he could see Star a little better. "If I wanted to leave you I would have already. Star I don't see why you're asking this."
"No that's not what I'm asking." She took a breath. "Do I...really truly make you happy. Are you fulfilled? Or do you feel you lack things with me?"
"Oh that's what you mean." Killian laughed a little mostly cause he felt stupid at this point. "You are more to me than I thought a woman could be. Used to think that women were only for sex or good for cooking." Leaning a little closer he tried to get a good look at her face, but it was hard to in the dark. "Star you're my best friend and I don't think I've ever met a more beautiful woman. It doesn't matter what kind of scarring you have. That's not what I look at. When I see those scars on your face I think of how much you love Claire and I. Scars on your neck remind me that no matter who tries to steal your voice you will find a way to take it back. I know I'm not much good with disciplining the kids or even helping around the house, I just get so mad when the kids don't see you for the woman you are."
Star smiled up at him, her eyes turning misty. She chuckled lightly. "You really do need to say things like that more often, Killian. Sometimes...especially when we're going through hard times, I don't know if you still appreciate me or if you wish you were done with me."
He leaned back again and frowned slightly. "You already know I love you and that isn't changing anytime soon. Told you a long time ago I was happy to stay with you till one of us dies."
"I know. But...love has a funny way of fading with time. And just because you love me, doesn't always mean you are happy with me, or appreciate what I do for the family." Star touched his chest. "I'm not angry, at all Killian. I just...this is something I need...to feel loved...and wanted. Constantly, not just a promise of forever. Things change with time. I change...you change. I need to know that you're still happy with me, even when things change."
Sighing he laid back in the bed. "So do you feel bad about giving me reminders for a while till I get used to this idea?"
Star chuckled lightly. "Its a bit awkward and feels unauthentic when I have to ask...but...since you're learning...i can."
"That works." Killian smirked. "Or I could put a note in one of my drawers to remind me."
She smiled. "Whichever is better for you. Thankyou, Killian."

***************************************************************************
As always Claire leapt into their parents bedroom in the morning. Star, sat up glaring at her. She'd been hoping to sleep in but the child was ruining that. "Claire, leave mommy and daddy alone."
"But I have to race daddy to get dressed!" She whined.
"Not this morning. Go." Star commanded.
Claire knelt on the bed and began glaring at her, arms crossed.
Star just about smacked her little face. She was so insufferable at times.
"Claire do not make me ask you again...."
 
Killian glanced at Claire after she was on the horse. He walked beside her, but his shoulder was sore and he didn't want to hold her up on the horse. Grabbing a chunk of the horse's mane he showed her how to hold on. "You just hang on. If you fall off it's your fault." Every once in a while Claire would begin to tilt one way and then the next. The girl tilting one way or another wasn't really her fault since her little legs stuck straight out. Killian would gingerly reach up and push or pull her to make sure she was on the horse. Of course when her turn was done she didn't want to get off, but that was an easy fix. Grabbing her by the back of her shirt Killian pulled her off with his good arm and set her on the ground before helping Zach onto the horse and then Mikey. It seemed little Mike needed help just to stay on the horse so Killian placed a hand on one leg to balance the kid. He didn't feel the need to hover like Kato did. Kids would learn their center gravity better if they had to do a little work for themselves.

Then that night Star wanted to talk. It sounded sort of like he'd been missing some points lately. Obviously since his mother had risked her life to not only sleep with Morgan, but runaway with him there was something about keeping a woman happy. Killian just had a feeling that telling Star he loved her everyday wasn't quite enough. She used to ask him to say that he loved her more often and he did, but there was something else that she wanted with it. He didn't think he could make it as nice as he did tonight, every single day.

While he was busy thinking about the different things he might try he fell asleep with his injured arm draped gently over Star. During the night he started to get more restless and his arm tightened around her before he rolled to his back and then to his other side. Though he didn't have dreams as often he still got them and he started to sweat. Star get out of the way! Charging into the games he could feel a horrible burning in his shoulder and she kept trying to tell him it was ok. No....no this is not ok. It was never ok and she was too calm they were going to kill her. Then suddenly blood flew everywhere. He knew that she was gone and Killian sat up in the bed suddenly. Rubbing his face he did his best to settle himself down, but he ended up murmuring in his sleep for several more hours. Waking again he finally buried his face in his pillow and cried. It was too much. The dreams had lasted for years and he felt sick all over every time. How many times did he have to watch her die? How many times would his little ones be blown to bits in the dreams before they stopped? After the silent sobs passed he turned to his side and went back to sleep again. Part of him was afraid that he would have another dream and yet he knew that if he didn't sleep it would just get worse.

By morning he realized he didn't have anymore dreams after that final replaying in his head. Moaning a little he buried his head under his pillow. "Clair do what your mother says. I don't want to drag your ass out of here."

Claire moaned, but reluctantly climbed back off the bed and shuffled out the door like a wounded puppy. "Ugh...she's getting to old for that." Star murmured, dropping her head back on the pillow.

"Well she's not 15 yet." Killian grumbled from under his pillow. "She's not a bear either."
"She's not jumping on us until she's 15!" Star retorted. "5 or 6 is old enough for that sort of behavior."

Pulling the pillow off his head he almost looked like an angry wet owl. "I was trying to make a joke damn it."

Star's eyes narrowed at him as she lifted her head off the pillow. "Its hard to tell when you're joking or not when your face is in the pillow." She then smirked and began giggling at him. "Your hair is ridiculous right now."

With a frown he lifted one hand and ran it through his hair which only seemed to make her smile bigger. "We both you know you love my hair anyway." Playfully growling he pulled her closer to himself and gave her a kiss.

She wrapped her arms around him, kissing him back. "Oh! I almost forgot." Star scooted to the edge of the bed and grabbed her purse, pulling out the jar of scar-cream ointment. "Your mother gave one to both me and Anna. She said it'll make the scars fade."

"I don't think I'd mind smearing some of it on you." Killian gave her a grin.

"That was the plan." Star smirked back up at him, handing him the jar.
***

Later that morning Killian caught up with Morgan. His mother was busy feeding the kids and Star was still sleeping in. "I need to ask you a question. Need some help with something."

The man turned around and looked at his son. "Yes?" He almost wondered if there was something wrong. Morgan didn't remember Killian ever needing to ask for help with anything. "What's going on?"

Killian glanced behind himself to make sure nobody else was around. "She wants me to tell her nice everyday. What do I do?"

"You tell her nice things everyday." Morgan almost had to laugh. "Anything else?"

It wasn't quite what Killian was looking for. "Well I was uh telling her some really thoughtful things...kind of more deep than just nice. I can't think like that all the time." Despite his best attempt not to blush he could feel a little bit of red start to creep to his ears. There was nothing like telling your dad you had no idea how to romance a woman on a daily basis. "So what do I do for something like that?"

"Could write her little cards saying how much you love her. Think of one thing that you love about her, get her little things like flowers. You know the way you did things when you were trying to convince her to marry you. Just those sort of things usually work good." The more he thought about it the more Morgan began to wonder what kind of things were even remotely romantic from the past he'd read about. "Or uh...Maybe you should stick with some of the ideas I gave you. It's the little things that count with women."

Letting out a long breath Killian nodded. "Alright I can try something like that." He still wasn't real good at writing and it had been so long since he had even tried to read or write he wasn't sure how decent it would look if he tried to hide a little card for her. Maybe hiding it wasn't a great idea. She might not find it. Killian grabbed a piece of paper from the kitchen scratch pad and started a note. For the most part he struggled to make decent letters. It was like his brain went blank as soon as he picked up a pen and paper. To: Star. Downt stop smyling :) It had taken nearly 10 minutes to think of what to say and his mother had passed him in the kitchen many times. At the end she wanted to look at what he had been pondering over, but he folded it up and walked back to the room to find that Star had finally started to get dressed. Killian tried to be sneaky and he dropped the note into her suitcase.

***************************************

Anna woke up later in the morning and she saw Kato was still in bed next to her. He must have been pretty tired out. Stretching out a little she let her hand fall into his hair and she began to ping at random strands that stuck out. It was probably immature, but she began giggling anyway. "Heeeeey...." The giggles started to sound more like little snorts and Anna finally ran her whole hand into his hair and began to mess it up. "How's Doctor Jones this morning?"

Kato looked over at her. Every now and again he caught himself noticing his prothestic eye. While it wasn't as good as his real one, it was still better than having that ridiculous patch. He yawned and smiled. "I'm good. How's my lovely wife?"

"Feeling like a squirrel." Grinning broadly at him she twirled her fingers in his hair. "You know what? I think you secretly enjoyed getting in that water fight. We should do that sort of thing more often. You might get good at it."

"Heh, doubt it." Kato smirked, resting a hand on her waist. "I'm never quite sure what to do in those sorts of situations. My natural instinct is to watch the kids to make sure they don't get hurt."

"Ooooh so serious." Anna started to giggle again and she nestled her head under his chin while still playing with his hair. After a few moments she tilted her head so that her chis rested on his chest. "You know why I like to be close to you all the time? When you hug me, kiss me, hold me, or just stand close enough to hold my hand I feel loved. Maybe it sounds stupid, but I need physical contact and I know I get wild and needy sometimes."

Kato looked down at her, gently rubbing her back. He nodded. "I'll remember that. I don't think it sounds stupid. Sounds completly natural."

"Good, I'm just a very physical person." Turning her head again she let out a long breath and enjoyed soaking up the attention till she thought of the boys. "Oh my gosh I usually give them breakfast by now!" Anna made a mad scramble over Kato and out the bedroom door to see that the boys were happily eating breakfast. Returning to the bedroom she giggled. "And all that for nothing. Looks like Morgan and Belen are soaking up all the kid time. I wonder how come they're such rough people and they love children like no one else?"

Kato was sitting up by the time she returned. Her sharp knee in his stomach and woken him right up. "These chippequoti don't seem that rough, aside from the way they raise their own children." He noted. "Its just a culture difference I suppose."

"That's what I mean. They let kids get rough and wild and yet they shower them with all the love and food they can stuff into their mouths. I'm stuffed after last night. Gonna start waddling like a pigeon." Anna walked around to her side of the bed and got under the covers with Kato again. "Wanna just hang out for a while? Just the two of us?"

"With you, always." He wrapped his arms around her, kissing her gently. He almost made a teasing pregnancy comment to go with her stuffed comment but thought better of it, considering what she was working through right now. "Well, we're on a new planet, safely away from the gillicks, a chance to set new roots and build a new life. How do you feel about that?"

Anna held a steady gaze on him. She liked to study his face and it was good that he didn't shy away from her when she did that. "I don't know how I feel about it. In part I'm happy to be away and then I'm not sure how to be a regular person without getting involved in something."

"I don't have a problem with you taking up a cause, Anna. As long as I'm involved in it this time, or at the very least awar. No secrets, no lies. Full disclosure."

"Ok. I'm trying hard not to be the one to hide things from you." Anna threw her covers back on the bed. "Full disclosure man, you got it." Giggling a little she noticed the look of surprise on his face.
 
Kato sighed he noted she still had her pajamas on. He thought about letting this moment pass but a sudden passion arose in him and he looked at her seriously, while also trying to be gentle. "Anna we need to talk seriously for a moment."
Sitting up on the bed she grinned. "Serious? What are we talking about?" She was still thinking he was just trying to pretend to be serious. Who could be serious this early in the morning when it was a day off?
Kato decided to just start speaking. She'd catch on soon enough how serious he was being. "I know that in your past you have had to manipulate and lie to get things you need and want from men." He started. "Are you aware, how often you do that to me?"
Gradually the grin came off her face and she frowned instead. "I don't do that to you."
"You do. Maybe you're aware of it...maybe you're just doing it subconsciously. But you've been doing it to me even before we got engaged. Flirting with me or teasing me with sex while I'm trying to bring up a serious topic or question you on something. Using tears to get me to drop a topic or sympathize with you." Kato took a breath. "I...never really knew how to address it before, but...after all this...I knew that I needed to confront it and tell you just how much I hate it." He was dead serious, grief in his eyes.
"The tears I will admit." Anna lowered her gaze. "I don't think I run around whoring like that just to get you to drop a topic or forget." It was painful that he would even accuse her of something like that. "Why would you even think something like that?"
"You did it just now, when I was trying to talk about full disclosure. Or are you even aware of it?" Kato asked.
Anna threw her legs off the side of the bed. "That is not what I was doing. You are such a jerk sometimes." Stomping away toward the bathroom she shut the door and folded her arms in front of her chest.

Kato sighed and stood. He went over to the bathroom door, his forehead resting against it. "Anna..." He sighed gently. "I don't want to hurt you, I never wanted to bring this up. But its been four years and you aren't even aware you are doing it! Its affecting every part of our lives right now. For some reason, you just can't bring yourself to be completely open and honest with me and it kills me every time you aren't." He wished she'd open the door, look him in the face and talk to him instead of running away. "Just as you feel loved when I touch you, I feel loved when you communicate honestly with me. And even since before we married...there has always been a part of you that holds back, that won't let me in...and then it manifests "What are you gonna do? Leave me if I don't figure out whatever this stupid thing is?" Sniffling from behind the door she left it closed. "I don't do that. You're just mad."itself in manipulative ways and I just can't...stand it anymore."
"What are you gonna do? Leave me if I don't figure out whatever this stupid thing is?" Sniffling from behind the door she left it closed. "I don't do that. You're just mad."
How did he convince her of something she didn't even believe she was doing? He began recalling several instances in his mind. "The day you got shot, afterwards...I tried talk to you about it and you kept flirting with me and feeding me a lie about getting mugged. When we were on the forest planet with the colony, I tried to ask you about something person and you threw away your towel and pranced away naked. There have been several other instances I don't remember clearly...but I knew without a doubt you were manipulating me to try and avoid getting to the core issue or being vulnerable with me. Please, Anna. I would never leave you, but I wouldn't make this sort of thing up if I didn't feel it to be a real thing. You admitted yourself that you will often use tears."
"Accusing me of crying is one thing and then telling me I'm a whore is another. Just go away." Flicking the lock on the bathroom she shuffled over to the shower and started to run the water. That night in the hospital was a little blurry and she had a lot of pain medications. He should know better than to assume that was a real person talking when they were all drugged up and then scampering away without her towel didn't mean much. Anna did that all the time and she didn't think it was anything special.

"I'm not calling you a whore...that thought never even entered my mind." Kato sighed as the water turned on. Maybe he should've just left it alone. He shuffled away, rubbing at his eyes wearily. "Oh Anna..." He whispered to himself. "If only you knew how much I adore you...and how much your dishonesty is killing me."

****
Star groaned as she dug through her suitcase for a clean outfit. She felt tired and sick despite having slept pretty well. Maybe she was coming down with something that her chip-blood hadn't filtered properly. She'd dreamed Killian had been crying. That had been weird. A little scrap of paper caught her eyes and she blinked lifting it to her face. A smile came to her face followed by a laugh. "Aw, Killian. I'll keep smiling for you, as often as I can." She kissed the note and scanned it into her new electronic journal. She kept things like this close to her as if they were the most precious things on earth. Because any many ways, they were.

She got dressed in a cool sleeveless blouse and trotted downstairs to find the kids already eating. "Morning Belen, Morgan. Ugh...do you have something for an upset stomach?" She questioned coming to the counter.

*****

Kato played with the children half-heartedly on the floor. This was his first major arguement with Anna in a long time...and he hated it. He hated that he hurt her and began to question whether or not he'd just been overreacting and seeing things that weren't there. Maybe? He didn't know. He sighed, resting his head on his chin while Jacob stacked blocks around his head. He hoped Anna calmed down soon so they could figure this out. And they still needed that marriage counselor.
 
Belen and Morgan were sitting down at the table eating their own breakfast while the kids were busily playing. There was always so much to do when you were little. The woman smiled and she saw Kato step out of his room. It seemed that he was a little down and then Star came out looking a bit peaked. "Yes I have some tea. Is it high or low in your stomach?" Usually that helped to determine exactly which kind of tea she would need to use.

Since it sounded more like it was high in her stomach the woman pulled out a small can of herbs and began to pile a little into a sack and then she dropped it into a hot cup of water. "There you go." A few moments later she saw Killian wander over to the play room. He was quickly getting engaged in a little battle with the foam blocks and he encouraged the children to see if they could hit a target on the wall.

It was tempting to just start pelting Kato, but there was that look on his face. The one that said he was in deep thought or despair. It was always hard to tell which and at any rate it was typically a bad idea to interrupt either one.

***************************************************

After the shower Anna still sniffled a few times and she almost pushed her toes through the ends of her nylons as she prepared to put on her favorite dress. They didn't have the skirt that she liked at any of the stores here so she got a dress that was almost the same color. Some people liked to wear red to feel alive and confident. Yellow was Anna's color. Putting on a matching pair of heels and then spiking her hair she stepped out and refused to look at Kato who she knew was playing the part of a sick cow. Skipping the living room she went to the kitchen where she saw Star had finished a cup of tea.

"Star can I talk with you?" Anna hoped that Star wasn't under a lot of pressure. She'd tried to stay away from Star when these things happened and Killian was healing. The impression she got was that Killian was needy, or Star stressed over him cause he wasn't much to talk and it was hard to tell how he was actually doing. Maybe both. She'd never been able to tell.

"Of course." Star smiled at her friend. "What do you need?"

"We need to go for a walk cause I have a really big problem." Shooting a dirty glare into the center of the house she saw Kato playing the victim and it made her so mad. She just wanted to go over there and kick him.

"Oh?" Star followed her friend out. "Nice dress by the way. So um, whats going on?"

Anna nodded and started with a very determined walk for the outdoors. She smiled slightly when Star mentioned her dress. "So much is going on. I wish I could trade you husbands for a week. Killian might be a jerk at times, but at least he isn't an asshole."

Star chuckled. "I'm guessing this is about Kato then. Alright spill, but...maybe don't walk so fast, I'm not feeling that energetic right now."

Slowing down a little she pointed to a bench a ways out. "We could sit on that. Anyway I'm having some problems. That day I forgot to meet you for coffee I was running away from Kato and the boys."

"Wha...say what!?" Star asked in shocked. They sat down and she tucked her leg under her so she could turn and stare at her friend. "Ok, start at the beginning of whatever is going on."

"Joseph got shot during that raid and Kato almost left me that one time cause of the business I was in and this time I let him in and then he and Joseph got hurt just like I was afraid they would if they worked with me." Anna slouched on the bench. "He despises me and I wanted to run away cause I knew it was all my fault." It all came out in a flurry and she wasn't too concerned if it made sense or not.

Star listened intently and nodded on occasion. "What makes you think he despises you?"

"He called me a lying, manipulative whore practically. Said it to my face and said it hurt him for years. I'm not a whore. I played around when I was younger, but I've been faithful to him and I've done everything a wife should." Anna started to tear up. "I just want to run away or maybe kick him in the balls." Chuckling a little through her tears she sniffed again.

"Wow, Anna. I'm so sorry. What triggered this situation?" Star couldn't believe Kato would do something like that to Anna. But then again, he had changed a bit since the games.

Anna wiped her eyes. "We were having a nice discussion and he tried to get all serious and talk to me about the same damn thing he's been harping on for years. I have done what he asked this last time and he didn't like it obviously. He just thinks I'm still holding back. Said he wanted me to quite lying and have complete disclosure so I decided to make fun of it and I threw all the blankets off the bed and told him he had full disclosure. I was still wearing my pajamas and then he got on my case about being manipulative and told me I used sex to distract him and that's the same as calling me a whore!" Bursting into tears again she buried her face in her hands. "I don't know what to do."

Star blinked. She didn't know what to do. The whole thing sounded very confusing. She put her arms around Anna. "I don't know either, Anna. But I do know this. Killian and I are only as strong as we are now because of everything we have weathered together. I would encourage you not to give up on him yet and try and work it out. Especially for the boys."

"I never wanted children. I told him that with the first one and he just acted like it was all fine." Anna sobbed a little more. "If I didn't have kids I would just leave and he could pull his head out of the sand all by himself. Now I've got kids and I have to stay with him."

Star looked at her friend sympathetically. She hated to see her in so much pain like this. "Does he know you feel that way?"

"Yes I told him with the first one I was scared and I didn't think I wanted him and then we got pregnant again." Anna lifted her head. "There wasn't any point telling him I didn't want the second baby either so I played his stupid game and I've played house for years and tried to be a good mother."

"I'm sorry that you're suffering like this, Anna. But." Star took a breath. "For the sake of your children you are going to have to figure out how to be happy in the midst of not having the life you want. And if you're at odds with Kato you're going to be even more miserable. And if you feel this strongly about children I highly recommend getting surgery as soon as possible to prevent anymore."

Now that she'd said her part Anna nodded. "Well I'm not telling Kato about the surgery. I don't care what he says about his whole full disclosure thing. He's a stifling pig. If I leave for a week and have it done with the tiny incisions and then have the scar covering procedure with it and he won't know and it'll make things easier to deal with. I'll just tell him I need that vacation."

"Anna..." Star put a hand her friend's arm. "A surgery like that is going to affect your whole family...not just you. That is completely unfair to keep hidden."

"Well I won't have anymore kids with him. So what's the difference?"

"The difference is that he knows and gets to be part of the decision, wether you accept his advice or not. How would you feel if he went out and adopted a child without consulting you?"

Anna glared at Star for a moment. "There is a big difference between having a choice over my body versus him introducing a new family member. What if he got his junk fixed without talking to me would be a better analogy and I still wanted kids. I would be mad, but its his choice. Right now I don't care if it makes him mad and if he leaves me he can have the kids."

"Do you want him to leave you?" Star asked softly.

"It would be a whole hell of a lot easier than me running away since he keeps playing victim. Maybe I'll just party it up in town and give him a reason to get rid of me." Anna sighed and leaned forward a little. She knew none of it was the right answer, but she was angry and she did stupid things when she was mad at a man.

"And what about your children? Jacob, Joseph?" Star questioned. She couldn't imagine just abandoning Killian like that. "If you are so horribly unhappy, maybe you just should divorce him. Better than running and you can still be part of the children's lives."

"I don't want them. He can have the boys and train them in his perfect ways." Anna got up from the bench. "You gonna come with me to the bar and have a few drinks?"

Star blinked at her. "You dislike your own children that much?" She asks in near horror.

"I love them, just can't stand to be around their gibberish. If I had my way I wouldn't do anything with them till they were in their teens." Anna knew Star loved her children and that was fine. "Not every woman loves children and I never did."

"I just...can't imagine not being part of their lives every day." She stood and winced at the ache in her back. "I'm uh, going to have to decline on drinks. My stomach is being funny. Uh, I really do hope you figure this out Anna, in a way that hurts your family the least. Don't forget you a have responsibilty to their happiness too."

******

Anna spent most of the day getting drunk and when the bartender wouldn't sell her anymore she bummed drinks off other patrons with a kiss or letting them cop a feel. That all worked dandy till they found that out too and kicked her out of the bars. "Those miserable bums. I gots money. Loots of it." Slurring the words she went along her way weaving from side to side on the road. Part way home she began to twist on her heels that she wore and fell over. "Honey I wish that was you. Rolling in the mud would suit you right now."

Struggling with the straps on her heels she took them off and then carried them as she tip toed across the sharp rocks on the road. When she finally got to the house she stumbled inside and past Kato. Laying out on the bed she stuck her tongue out. "Ugh..." It felt a little dry and then she could practically taste the alcohol still sitting on it. When Kato came in she pushed his hands away. "Get away from me you pig." Anna couldn't even sit up on the bed without getting dizzy, but she was determined he wouldn't touch her. "You lay a finger on me and I'll bust it. First you call me a whore and then you want to take my dress off. What sick sort of man are you anyway?"

Kato blinked at her. "I never called you Whore, Anna. It never even entered my mind." He knew there wasn't much point in talking to her like this. She was clearly drunk which meant she would be fully uninhibited and no doubt be saying some very cruel things. The best thing to do would be to let her sleep. Still...he couldn't help but want to help her.

"Like hell you did." Flailing her arms like a bird she tried to force herself to a sitting position. "I told you how important it was for you to hold me...then you call me a whore and a liar. I'm done with you." Stumbling for the doorway she pushed on him. "Don't need your kind. I've had enough assholes to know one when I see it."

"Whoa, whoa. Sit down. Your not going anywhere in this condition." He forced her to sit back on the bed. "Anna. You mean more than anything else in the world to me. I never meant to demean the importance of touch to you. Not ever. I'm sorry." Kato knelt before her, holding her hands tightly. "Maybe I was wrong, and I miss read you. Touch is your way of connecting and I didn't know. Forgive me just making assumptions and hurting you with thoughtless accusations like that."

Rolling her eyes she pulled her hands away. "I've heard it all and I don't have time. Won't be long and I won't be pretty no more." Kicking him while he was kneeling in front of her she started to weave for the door. "Told you to leave me alone. Don't need you."

Kato shot to his feet, horrified. "Anna. I, I need you. What about our children!? They need you."

"I've heard it all." Muttering under her breath she weaved into the living room an Belen caught her by the shoulders. Anna tilted her head up to squint at her. "Mind if I go someplace?"

The Chippeqouti woman nodded and quietly took Anna to a separate room. "I'll get you something to drink." She planned to get the mother sobered as quickly as possible. It wasn't decent to do that to her children and she was disgusted with the behavior, but there were necessary steps to take.

Kato cast the chippequoti woman an exceedingly grateful glance as she kept Anna from striding out the door. His heart pounded in his chest. She was going to do it. She really was going to do it. Just...leave him. Did she had no love left for him and children?

After Anna was settled down and napping/sleeping the rest of it off Belen came out of the room quietly took a seat in the kitchen and resumed sipping her tea and watching the children as if nothing had happened. Morgan and Killian continued taking different sides of the block fortress and helping the kids conduct a mini war. No one pretended to see or notice anything about it.

Kato sat on the bed, trembling with grief. She was so unhappy. This was the second time she'd tried to walk away from him, from the boys. He'd done everything he knew, given her everything he could...and still, it was not enough. She was miserable. When Belen finally came back out Kato went to the kitchen gently took a seat across from her, his expression one of extreme distress. "How...how is she?" He asked.

The woman glanced up at Kato. "What kind of how are you talking about? She's resting right now. I gave her some tea to help her sober more quickly."

"I already know that she is not emotionally well. That has been apparent for the last three months but has been going on since our first was born nearly 4 years ago." Kato looked over at Jacob and Joseph with intense grief.

Belen took another sip of tea. "Unwell since the children." Looking at Kato she shrugged slightly. "You are the doctor and her husband. Tell me what's wrong with her. Why would she be unwell since the first child."

"She does not like children." He replied simply. "Though, I did not know she was this unhappy. She never said." Kato sighed wearily. "There are many things, she never said and will never say."

"A very difficult burden." Belen sighed. "Perhaps she doesn't trust you. There are many things that go wrong." Looking at the man she studied him for a moment. "You love her, that much is obvious. Sometimes love isn't enough."

"What more can I give? I have given her everything of myself and any more that I could think of." Kato looked up at Belen. "Even after four years she refuses to trust me, she won't let me into her secrets. Even my own needs I have forsaken for her on many an occassion and she'd so easily walk out on me...and the children." Kato's eyes turned red and he buried his face in his hands. "If she does not love me I can not make her stay."

The woman set her hand on top of his head. "Let me ask you something very important. When you ask a question when do you want an answer? Do you want it now? A week later, a month later, maybe years later?"

Kato looked up at her in confusion. "I...I suppose it depends on the question." He took a trembling breath. "Though usually I prefer the answer immediately."

"How do you gain trust if you do not trust the person first to answer you when they are ready?" Taking her hand back she glanced over at the play room. "Love is not enough...I love my son and I have asked to be a part of his life. He barely talks to me, hardly makes any kind of gesture that he intends to accept me as family. He is here, yes. Do you see a son or simply a refugee? I am waiting for his answer. If I wanted it right away he may very well have fled."

"But, I am her husband. She has already said yes to me. Why would she do so if she did not trust me? I trusted Anna, but she has continued to lie to me even after swearing she wouldn't. Must I accept her to continue living a lie that she may remain? I'd rather have nothing at all than a pretty lie." Kato hung his head.

Belen looked at him. "Does she ever tell you the truth? Does she try to share in her own time what she has agreed to give you?"

Kato blinked and looked at his hands in shame. "Perhaps...at times. Yes. A little today...the trigger of our current argument. I did not cherish that piece well and hurt her badly." He admits.

The woman nodded. "You must have patience. I could have argued the same as you, for my rights. It is my right to be his mother, to know all these things I wish to know. I bore him, birthed him, fed him, cared for him, loved him, fled to save his life, did what I thought was best for him even when it broke my heart, I prayed for him to the gods everyday, I did everything I could to get him out of the war, and now here he is and he denies me my rights. You must remember that the other has rights too. Demanding it all now you will end with far less than if you wait for the trust to build."

Kato nodded, humbled by the woman's wisdom and sobered by the mess he'd made of things.

"If she loves you she will wait just a little longer." Belen carefully set her hand on his. "You can win her over yet. Patience and gentleness."

"And if she no longer loves me?" Kato questioned.

"Then you will know how to wait when you choose a new love." Belen held her gaze steady. "Sometimes we do not realize how far we have gone. Perhaps she has not waited for you either. Maybe she makes many demands. It is something you will have to decide together."
 
Star had been bothered by her conversation with Anna more than she'd let on. The thought of just abandoning Killian or her children was about the worst thing she could do and there Anna was sounding like she wished they would all just die. Even if she were angry or in pain because of him, how could she feel that way about her children. They were little angels. In a way it made her mad. Part of her thought Anna was being extremely selfish. She'd married the man, she'd slept with him even had a second child. If she hadn't wanted any she should've made it clear with him up front or being fixed before hand. To be angry with the life she chose, to abandon people who had come to rely on her...even if she were upset...it was selfish. Selfish and cruel and pissed Star off the more she thought about it. She had the sudden urge to storm to Anna's room and give her a piece of her mind but managed to restrain herself.
Adding her own emotions and passions about this to the mix would only make things more volatile for Anna and Kato. Best to try and be there and keep her from running for a little while longer.

The next morning Star was determined to sleep in and shake off the bug. Even when Killian had leaned over to snuggle with her, maybe more, she pushed away with an annoyed grump. "Let me sleep." And then Claire had come flying into the room and lept onto the bed, screeching and laughing. Star sat up, glaring at her, just about ready to kill her. She gave the toddler a very stern lecture and warning about what would happen to her the next time she came flying in like that. She seemed to remember the next day but the day after that it happened again. Star threw off the covers, snatched Claire by the arm and gave her a hard swat before dragging her back to her room. "No...more...waking...us...up. Unless its an emergency." She said sternly and simply before shuffling downstairs for a cup of the nausea tea Belen had been making her. It seemed to help a little but that feeling seemed to be there constantly, as if the chip food she was eating was playing havoc with her intestines. It may very well have been as she'd been feeling this way since they'd gotten here. Not to mention, this planet was far too hot. Killian loved it, but she found it stifling and tried to keep their room as cool as possible, much to his chagrin.

She hated feeling irritated and being grouchy. It wasn't pleasant for her or her family. But she was feeling tired and greatly underappreciated. The tension between Anna and Kato made her wish they were somewhere else completly. Maybe the other side of the planet. Belen and Morgan's excessive pampering of the children and hovering over her and Killian was getting to be annoying. They needed their own place...desperately. They needed their own home. Killian needed to be able to start his job, and the kids needed to go to school so that she could have time to write her second book.

When Star collapsed on the bed a few nights later she blurted out her annoyances to Killian in one long rant. She didn't really care if he responded or not but someone should know how she felt. "We, need, a house, to ourselves. I like Belen and Morgan but they are always around! I mean, its awesome I don't have to watch the kids as much, and I don't have to worry about cooking and cleaning, but still...its like we can't get away from them. I don't want to be in limbo anymore. I want to be settled. I want you to have a good job with good pay and hours, I want the kids to go to school and I want to write my book. But we can't do that while we're in limbo!" She buried her face in her pillow and groaned loudly.
*************************************************************************************

The conversation with Belen had been enlightening. Kato was beginning to realize just how impatient he'd been with her in many ways. Constantly trying to force connection where she wasn't ready or didn't trust him in. It wasn't his job to make her be honest, it was his job to make himself a safe place for her so she could. He sat at the table pen and paper in his hand, pen hovering over the page as he tried to think of what he could possibly write that would ease this rift between them.

"Anna, I am a jerk. A fool and completely ignorant at times. For all my knowledge, I know so little about relationships...about being a good husband. Forgive me for the pain I've caused you. For the way I have pushed and prodded you when you clearly weren't ready to share. Forgive for trying to force you to trust me when I have not yet earned that trust, and especially now having broken it so thoroughly. Please, do not give up on me, or our children just yet. We love you, and I will fight for you.

You are so precious to me. Your passion, conviction, your sense of adventure. Time and time again I have been less the man that you have needed, or wanted. Give me a chance to change that. To do better. To fix us. I believe, full-heartedly, you can still have an incredible life with us.

~With all the love and humbleness in the world, Kato."

*************************************************************************************
After a week of feeling excessively tired, nauseous and grouchy Star had a pretty good idea of what was going on. Especially that morning as she clutched the toilet for dear life. As thought hard about it, she realized her last cycle was over two months ago. She'd been so busy with Killian, his injuries, his parents, the children and life in general she hadn't even noticed. She had a mix of excited and nervous feelings. She wanted to be pregnant...but she was terrified of losing yet another one. And if she didn't lose it...she'd have four children to care for...which seemed like alot. Especially with all of them still so young. And yet, still, she hoped that she was.
***
When Killian came into the room that night Star lay on the bed, the little blue stuffed elephant resting on her stomach. She smiled at him brightly. "Guess what." She grinned and made the little toy dance.
 
The drunk day passed and Anna stayed hidden in the room. Even after she got the note she kept herself hidden away. She was completely embarrassed and frustrated with herself. Mostly she was angry that she had made a fantastical display. It was hard to know if she even wanted to try going back to Kato now. He said he loved her and wanted her. That didn't make sense. After all this she finally had a decent guy and she had done her darndest to burn the bridge with him. Everything short of actually cheating on him. Now it was just a question of what was holding her back. Pride maybe?

Belen had given her one week to sort through all of this in her own room away from Kato. She was safe here and never once did she hear a word about what she did. More than likely the obvious shame on Anna's face was evidence enough she didn't need to be told what she did was wrong. Probably burned her bridges with Star too. It just seemed so horrible now that she realized she had a heap of people to apologize to. In the past she ran and ran and now she had to face them. She could just sneak out the window and they'd never know what happened. It made sense. None of this ever had to happen again. Kato would just remember her...as a screaming bitch that left him with the kids and a drunk. Grimacing a little she made her mind up. Now was the time to do something about this.

Poking her head out the door of the room Anna saw that the kids were all eating and she didn't see Kato anywhere so she darted for their room. Bursting through the bedroom door she shut it behind herself and her cheeks turned bright red when she saw him. Up until now she felt undecided. The letter was crumpled up in her tiny fist and she stared at Kato for a long moment.

Kato stood from the desk, setting the tablet down. "Anna?" His voice broke with emotion. Was this it? Was she packing up her things and leaving, or was she going to give him another chance?

Her brown eyes gazed deeply into Kato's and she threw the crumpled letter on the floor. "All that." Pointing to the letter emphatically she glanced up at him again. "What is this? Some ploy to get me back so we can run the merry go round?"

Kato sat back down wearily, his hope quickly fading. "I..." He looked down at the crumpled paper, so thoroughly rejected. "I spoke with Belen...she helped me see that I havn't been very paitent or understanding with you. I was...trying to convey my regret for that and my intentions to do...better."

Barely holding herself together she straightened her shoulders to look as confident as possible though she was practically trembling. "Better at what?" Man after man had promised those sort of things and it never got better. She didn't like the idea that she might waste more time with him if he wasn't changing for real. Not one man had ever been able to tell her what he could change to do better. Usually it was some pointed comment about what she could change.
"Better at listening, and not judging or jumping to assumptions. Better at trusting you and that whatever secrets you carry are for the benefit of the family." Kato stood and took a timid step forward. "Anna, you're the only person I've ever truly deeply loved. Until you, I'd never even been with a woman. I'm not perfect, I.. I'm going to be stupid at times, and a jerk, make mistakes and assume things from time to time...but I will never, ever stop loving you. I would sacrifice my life and everything in it to make you happy." He said sincerely, his eyes pleading. "I can't imagine a life without you."

It all sounded too good to be true and that was a warning sign. Until he said one thing that made sense. She hadn't left much room for error and Anna's gaze softened. As he finished she practically threw herself at him and buried her head in his chest. Hot fresh tears fell from her eyes and she kept her face hidden from him. Sobs began to shake her body and she still held on.

Kato held her tightly, tears trickling down his cheeks in relief. He'd gotten through to her, for now. "I love you." He whispered. "I love you so much. Forgive me."

Still holding tightly she nodded a little and waited till her tears stopped. Eyes red rimmed she looked up at him. "Kato I was wrong. Somehow I didn't think you'd ever make a mistake. I know it sounds stupid. Didn't think you say that to me after I'd tried so hard to make you part of the last mission and we did it together. I went out on a limb to tell you and involve you in it. Then you got upset with me about not telling you stuff. Tried so hard and your letter made me angry. It reminded me of all the men before that would hurt me and then write those stupid apology letters. They'd always stand here and when I asked them what could change it was always me. I'm willing to give us another chance because you're willing to admit that it isn't all my fault."

Kato sighed in relief and hugged her tighter. "Does this mean you still love me then?"

"I did the whole time." Anna started to cry again. "Its why I came in here still playing the bitch. I didn't want you to chase after me if you were like the rest of them. I was afraid I would come back to you."

More tears streamed down his face. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for making you feel so unsafe. For making the mistakes they did. I'll be better, I swear. I just need your patience with me."

"Lets just start where we're at for now." Anna pulled out of his arms. "For me that means I'll have to make a few apologies too." Straightening her dress which had been washed at some point since she got home she pushed a few waves of hair off her forehead. "I'm sorry. Should have asked you what you meant instead of assuming you were calling me trashy. It is a sore spot cause I kinda am, but I like to think you see me differently."
"I do. I really do. I swear, that wasn't a thought in my mind, but I'm sorry I made you think that's what I mean." Kato replied, his voice filled with regret.

Letting a hand drift to his arm she ran it down till her fingers intertwined with his. "How about you help me pick out the next wardrobe so I don't dress trashy. I'm still gonna pick the colors and I still need a yellow skirt."
Kato smiled at her gently, burying his feelings about the yellow skirt. "I'd like that."

*********************

Killian ha gotten used to the idea that Star did not want to be disturbed in the morning. It only took about 4 days in a row of getting slapped in the chest before he got the point. He really needed to get ambitious and he was pretty sure they wouldn't have to do the fourth surgery/injection into the bones. Regardless he made his little notes on the mornings that he remembered. By the time a week had passed he wondered if the notes actually worked. Star was getting grouchier, not happier. Star, yur the onlee woomen that cud out bargin me. Maybe...I stil theenk I got the beter deel. :). At the end of the note he signed his name with an x and an o. It had taken a while to figure out what those meant, but now that he knew, it was much easier than writing the words and he thought it was romantic.

"Hey mum." Before Killian caught himself after he called Belen his mother and he tried not make a big deal out of it. He could see her eyes light up though. Quickly he moved to the subject he actually intended to talk about. "Star come for her tea yet?" It didn't seem that she had so he grabbed a cup and began to read the directions that Belen had put on the counter. It was so that Star or anyone else could make it for her. Pouring the mixture into a bag then he dropped the bag of herbs into a cup of water and started for the room. When he came into the bedroom Killian set the cup of tea on Star's night stand. "What? You have an elephant bouncing on your stomach?" He really didn't get where she was going with this. "You feel better?" After several moments it dawned on him and his eyebrows raise slightly. "Seriously?"

Star sat up and grinned at him. "Yeah. Took the test this afternoon. Positive. Which would explain the mood swings and everything. You'd think I'd recognize it after two pregnancies...but..." She shrugged then beamed at him.(edited)

Killian stood there almost like he'd been stunned. She was happy about this one and that was a good thing. Still he continued to just stand there until it sunk in and then he started to laugh and he plucked her right off the bed. "It'll be fine. I can still work on just the proposals for that job and I can try and get a house and be at home with you."

Star wrapped her legs around his waist, and her arms around his neck. "I'd like that. It'd be nice to have a place of our own before it comes. Speaking of which...we probably only have about five months. I'm pretty sure I'm at about two months in and both Mikey and Claire came early. Its...not much time." She made a face.

Leaning a little closer to the bed he let Star drop onto it and Killian heard the note he wrote for her crumple a little. "Ooh. Pulling his hand out from underneath Star he slid the note it into the night stand and shut the drawer. "You have to wait to read it till later on." Kissing her on the lips he carefully got onto the bed next to her. "Shall we make a bet on a boy or girl? If I win we get a pet if you win?"

"We can still get a pet. I actually...kinda liked Lucy...alot." Star smiled, a small flush in her cheeks. "How about...the person how wins gets to pick out the theme for the baby's room? I'm going to say, a girl."

Killian chuckled. "You know every time I saw that dog I thought about eating it. Kept it around cause it was protective of the kids. So I guess I have to bet its a boy and I already know what he's gonna get."
"Oh, what's he gonna get?" She grinned mischeviously.

"Spaceships." Killian gave her a matter of fact sort of tone. If she didn't guess that already he would have been surprised.
"Of course." She laughed. "I'm going to do pink and purple colors with butterflies and flowers." Star said. "Claire is such a tomboy...and i've always wanted a little girl to dress up."

His lips curled a little at the colors she chose. "Don't you think both those colors together are a little much?"

Star laughed. "Would you feel better if it's mostly purple with tints of pink?"

"Eh it won't matter." Puffing his chest out a little he continued. "I'm so convinced we're having a boy I'll make my bet a little better. If it turns out to be a girl I'll play tea party and dolls with her if she asks me to, but I won't have to cause I know its a boy."

Star laughed, and grabbed his shirt as she lay down, pulling him close. "I am holding you too that."

"I'm sure you would if it was a girl." Killian couldn't help chuckling right along with her.

***********************

The next morning Belen sat at the table by herself after all the kids were off playing. It seemed there was plenty of work for Kato and Anna to get through. She was pleased that the little woman had chosen to go back to her husband and family. There was still a little bit of concern. However, her entire world had about turned upside down when she heard her son call her mum for the first time in almost 40 years. Her baby boy and while he hadn't said much he was getting to be a tiny bit more vocal.

After a while she saw Killian come down for the second time this morning and Star was under one arm. They looked so happy together and she noticed a particular tenderness in her son that was uncommon even for Chippeqouti. Perhaps living with the humans as a child had made him more gentle than many of the others. It was such a stark contrast from the rumors and tales of him at the games. In fact he didn't even seem to be the same person. Quietly she waited...waited for them to sit down, waited for someone to say something. Maybe today she would learn more about them. There was a chance that now they would want to talk with her and make her part of their lives.

Though she appeared to be completely patient she was nearly bursting inside. What were they intending to say? Then Star finally spoke and Belen stood up from her chair. "Ooh my dear I'm so happy for both of you." Rushing right over to where Star was she pulled her into a hug. "How long till you give birth? Do you know how to eat to help feed the baby well?"

"Ah, maybe 5 to 6 months. And I'm pretty sure i know how to eat fine. I had Mikey fine. I mean...he was a bit underweight...so was Claire." Star flushed.

Clucking her tongue her brow began to tighten and then she turned to walk back to her little garden room. "I have some supplements here and a few little things for you to read about proper nutrition for Chippeqouti birth." Pulling out a small pamphlet she handed it to Star. "It is quite simple, but effective."

"Thanks." Star smiled taking the pamphlet, her cheeks still flushed with a bit embarrassment. She was the first human (as far as knew) to be having Chippequoti children, so of course there wasn't much advice around on how to do it properly. "Don't suppose there is a hospital around here that has expertise with humans as well as Chips?" She questioned. The last thing she wanted to do was Kato getting involved in her pregnancy with everything that was happening with him and Anna.

Belen shook her head. "No we don't have anyone here familiar with human kind. We have heard of them and studied them some." The woman thought for a long moment. "Would you be alright seeing a Chippeqouti doctor? They are quite accomplished in medicine and I'm sure they could properly assist you in birth."
Then an even better idea came to mind. "We could have a doctor assist you and Killian could deliver the baby. He did with the first one right?"

Star chuckled and looked up at Killian. "Yeah, and he hated every moment of it."

Rubbing his forehead Killian sighed. "I really don't like catching babies." He almost shuddered at the thought. In many ways he wished he could have remained blissfully aware of how those things happened.

The woman glanced at Killian and then Star. "Well then....You must not be that different than we are in anatomy. I'm sure if your friend talked to a doctor about human female bodies they could prepare themselves."

Star nodded. "Yeah, we'll do that then." She squeezed Killian's hand. "I won't make you do the birth if you don't have to." She smirked up at him.

"Much appreciated." Almost sighing with relief he saw that his mother almost looked disappointed that he would give up such an opportunity.
 
Star lay on the couch reading over the pamphlet Belen had given her. It was embarrassing to be once again reminded of how much she didn't know about supporting a chip's physical health needs. Poor Clare and Mikey, no wonder she had such trouble keeping them at a healthy weight. Several of the supplements she didn't recognize. She'd have to ask Belen about those. When she finished she set it aside with a sigh, her hand resting on her stomach which already felt stiffened and a bit swollen. Another baby. She was very much hoping for a girl but knew she'd be happy either way. Belen was excited, as she'd suspected she would be. Morgan probably would be too when he found out. She'd have to be careful about setting boundaries for her, but a part of her really wanted...no needed, to be pampered and looked after by a woman who understood Chip needs.

She didn't know when her thinking turned to napping but when she woke up and looked at the clock, she found that'd slept two hours. Star sat up suddenly, feeling a soft blanket drop to her waist. Amazing that she'd managed to sleep even through the children's playing. She looked around, it was oddly silent. She got up to find the kids just walking away from the stables with Morgan and Killian. Star smiled. They'd taken the kids out so she could rest. She had the best husband and...father-in-law...that a person could ask for. She hadn't talked to Morgan much without his wife, but it seemed him and Killian were getting along well, for which she was glad. Killian needed a good male influence like him.

Star's own father had passed when she was young, never even knew her mother. Her older brother had pretty much raised her himself. Killian had no idea how lucky he was to be getting parents after all this time. She knew how much Belen and Morgan wanted to be parents for Killian...but she couldn't help but wonder if they'd be willing to be the same for her. Even after all these years, it would be nice to have family that cared about them, about her.

After dinner Star found him in his study. The door was cracked upon so she hoped that meant he didn't mind being interrupted. She knocked on the door, smiling gently as he turned. "Hey, Morgan. I uh, was hoping we could chat for a bit. If you're not busy."
"Oh Star good to see you!" Turning around in his chair the older man pointed to the other across the small space. He didn't usually sit at his desk. He preferred the sitting room part of his study. "What did you want to chat about?" Resting his hands on his lap he looked at her expectantly.
Star wrung her hands, suddenly feeling a little nervous. "I uh, was just hoping to get to know the father of my husband a little better. We haven't had much chance to chat just the two of us since we first met, so...I thought I'd take the initiative."
"I see." Shifting in the chair he couldn't help feeling a little nervous himself. "There isn't all that much to know about me. You could say I'm ordinary. Received a small loan from my father to start a business and I spent the last 80 years building it. Traveled some in between that time." Morgan paused after a moment. "My people are mostly quiet folk. We're a different tribe than my wife. I was just giving you time to decide if you wanted to talk with me or not."
Star smiled gently. "Well, you and your wife have certainly earned my trust and admiration. I've seen how you've connected with Killian bit by bit. It takes a really special person to do that."
The man chuckled. "You're far wiser than you give yourself credit. All I saw in you was many of our same practices. Obviously it worked well. We don't believe in forcing ourselves on anyone. Belen and I agreed to offer our hand and we figured both of you could take it or do as you pleased. Once you took our hand you determined for how long you wanted to be with us and when you leave how close you want to stay connected."
"Well, I can't really speak for Killian...but, I know I'd like to remain connected to you." Star pushed her hair back behind her ear and looked at her knees. "I know...you're Killian's parents, but...I...I wouldn't mind you being mine as well." She flushed slightly. Instantly she felt embarrassed. Maybe that was too forward. Maybe they were just tolerating her for Killian's sake. What if they hated he was married to a human. She hadn't even thought of that...well, obviously she wouldn't cause they'd never given any indication that they did.

Star smiled brightly and stood, entering his arms and letting him hug her...as a daughter. She teared up unexpectedly, as some hidden pain from long ago began being soothed and healed. After a minute of tears streaming down her face (which she blamed on the pregnancy hormones) she chuckled lightly. "Now I see where Killian gets his skill for great hugs."
Those little tears that sparkled in her eyes made him wonder. Why would a woman cry when he offered a hug? Sometimes despite having been married for nearly 60 years he wondered exactly what went through a female's mind. "What are those tears for?" Smiling gently he loosened his grip so she could move out of the hug if she wanted.
Star laughed again, stepping back, and wiping her face. "Ugh, I'm blaming it on the pregnancy hormones but uh, I'm just...happy. I, my father died when I was just a kid, didn't know my mom at all. So, having parents has kinda been a secret dream of mine for years. Never thought I'd actually get any."
"You are my daughter by blood." Then Morgan shook his head. "Not like that. We say as Chippeqouti that when we marry our blood is the same. So you have married my son and it makes you the same as my daughter. Your children are proof of that."
"Humans have a similar view." Star nodded and smiled up at him. "Thanks, Morgan. You are really great man. I'm so happy Killian has you for a father."
At least she understood what he meant. "Now I only have one expectation of a daughter." He saw that she paused momentarily. "Just be yourself and I'll be sure to learn about you as a person too. Honesty is the most important gift you bring."
Star nodded. "I can do that."
*********************************************

Kato was relieved that Anna had decided to stay. But he was also terrified that if made one wrong move, she'd give up and leave him for certain. As much as he loved her, a part of him was angry that she'd nearly abandoned her, their children like that for the second time. Did she dislike children so much that even her own were despicable and undesirable? He also felt so uncertain that they could survive this. Four years, and he hadn't been enough to make her happy. How would he ever be enough for her? What about his own happiness? Could he live with someone he was constantly terrified of losing? Wasn't that a manipulation even in itself? He didn't know, but he was willing to continue fighting for her if she continued to fight for him as well.

What they needed was some time. Just the two of them. For the rest of the day he researched different places they could go and spoke with Star about the children staying with them for a couple days while he took Anna for a much needed reprieve. When she came into the room that evening, he was sitting on the bed nervously. There were three little pamphlet piles. "I thought, maybe...we could use a vacation. So...I've picked out three places on this planet that you would probably like best." He gestured to the first pile. "This one is one the beach. Its a little beach house. We'd have to bring our own food or simply eat out at restaurants, but we'd be by the ocean and it would be calm, peaceful, simple."
He pointed to the second. "This one is one of the top resorts on the planet. Even though its designed for chips, Belen said humans go there from time to time because of the healing properties of the water in that area. There are hot springs, and spas and would just sort of be a pampering time over all."
Kato then pointed to the last pile. "The last one is a very nice hotel in the middle of the chippequoti city. There are street fairs, art vendors and lots of things to explore if you want something a bit more active and adventurous."

He looked at her a little anxiously. "Of course, we don't have to go anywhere if you don't want to...or we can do something completely different. Its...its up to you."
 
Morgan watched his daughter leave the study. She was nothing short of a miracle in his mind. To have come through so much and suffered as she did. His son was a very lucky man to have found a woman of Star's quality. While there were a few that thought Chippeqouti should only marry other Chippeqouti he knew Star was a far greater woman than even many of their own kind. There was no superiority of race that could make them better than her. Star was a good match and excellent woman. Later in the evening he got up from his study and going over the different proposals that he and Killian had discussed during the day.

It was still sometimes painful to see that Killian had stuck everything to business relations. In some ways it was obvious that there was a lot of internal turmoil. Morgan knew he could only wait for Killian to make up his mind and yet it seemed that he was almost content not to have a family outside of Star. All the house was dark and he stepped outside to walk with Belen. "Star asked if we would accept her as a daughter today."

The woman clutched tightly at his arm that she held. "I hope you told her yes." A certain level of anxiety came to Belen's voice. "Morgan we can't turn her away. She's our blood."

Chuckling a little he brought one hand over and rested it over her hands that were wrapped around his arm. "Yes, I welcomed her to be our daughter." The two of the walked a while longer and then Belen told him about the baby and he smiled broadly. "Another grandchild? Humans are fortunate to have the ability to bear so many little ones."

"In some ways I wish that we could bear as quickly as humans." Belen let out a long breath. She was nearing the end of her child bearing years and she had yet to get pregnant again. "If we could have another child I would...I would hope it could wash away some of the grief." There was so much built up guilt from the years and now especially knowing that she had given him in haste to a woman of question. It was her responsibility as a mother to ensure that her child was safe and yet she had made a decisions that nearly killed her child and then years later it almost destroyed him. When they finished the night time walk the two of them walked back into the house. Belen sat in her chair to knit for a while. For the new grand baby she was going to make a blanket with the herbs. This was just the outside covering that she would put over the casing.

Since she did not know if the baby was a boy or girl she decided to make a blanket of many colors. Belen started into the squares and after she decided what the pattern would be she set the yarn aside and took the basket back to her room. She knew that the children didn't have to intend to be naughty. They would just be tempted to play with her knitting and then it would be a mess. (Blanket)

******************************

Anna didn't want to talk with Star in person, but she knew she had to. Meekly she made her way to the living room and waited for Star to wake up. "Star? I needed to tell you I'm sorry about the other day." Momentarily she thought about leaving it there, but she knew it hurt Star and she deserved an explanation. "4 years is a long time to live with someone and I have to admit that I liked the idea of getting married. Just a little scared about all the things that go with it. Learned after a few bad men to fly the coop at the slightest hint of danger. Kato just happened to hit a trigger point."

Star nodded. "But you're staying now? What changed your mind?"

"He didn't answer like the rest of them when I asked if his letter of apology was a pathetic excuse and ploy to get me back." Anna knew it sounded harsh, but she didn't do well when she was connected with the person and they seemed to have betrayed her.

"How did he answer?"

The little woman lowered her head. "He didn't know. Asked for me to forgive him and be patient cause he makes mistakes. Said he wouldn't push as hard for me to answer right away." Anna ventured a glance at Star. "I'm sorry you saw that and I don't know what you even think of me now."

"I have admit, you kinda touched on a trigger point for me as well." Star replied, shifting in her seat. "My own mother left my father before I was old enough to remember. The thought of Jacob and Joseph having to grow up without you...it really is a terrible thought." She put a hand over Anna's, squeezing it gently, assuring her she still cared about her. "Marriage isn't easy, but with a good man its worth it. And I do believe Kato is a good man, for the most part."

Anna let out a sigh. "Had to tell you I'm sorry. Going to admit that I'm still terrified to be going back to him. I don't know if it'll get better or worse." Hearing Star's assessment didn't really help either. "Well mostly good isn't comforting."

"Ok, let me ask you this. Why did you marry him?" Star shifted again, feeling that uncomfortable wave of nausea bubbling up again.

"Because he was stable." Anna shrugged. "Looked like he would be a person I could depend on."

"That all?" Star raised an eyebrow. "Is that all that attracted you to him? Why'd you fight so hard to save his life from that disease?"

The little lady shook her head. "That's how it started and then I started to fall for him, but the base is still there. I've loved a lot of men Star. You choose who you love and I chose to love him because I needed him."

Star ran her fingers through her hair. "So you're scared to go back to him...because you think he's no longer stable? No longer a person you can depend on"

"A little bit of that and I'm afraid he'll just start to tighten his grip and he won't let me be me."

"Then make sure he knows that. God, I can't tell you how many times I was tempted to leave Killian, but I told him what I needed and he adjusted himself for me."

Anna's eyes grew wide. "You wanted to leave him? I never thought you'd ever consider it."

"Oh I did, a few times. Before we got married, a couple times after when he was becoming near unbearable. But...I've been lucky enough to be married to a man who is willing to adjust and work with me to make our marriage better. Whether it was adhering to principles that made no sense to him, going to counseling even though it terrified him, getting help for an addiction cause he was becoming dangerous...and other things throughout the years."

"Sounds like you went through hell with him." Anna swallowed hard. "I don't know if I could last through that much. Not made as strong as you are in that sense."

"Pfft, yeah I've been through hell because of him...and with him...but its always been worth cause we've come out the other side stronger and more in love than before." Star looks at her friend seriously. "If you make a commitment to see this through, to walk through the pain with Kato until you both make it through to the other side, I can guarentte it'll be worth it and you'll both come out stronger and loving eachother in a new way."

"I'll do everything I can. Just not ready to change overnight."Anna took a deep breath. "You love him, but are you happy?"

Star looked down at the belly which was growing a new life. "Very much so. Especially since we'll soon have a new addition to the family."

"So you're happy and content to have more babies." Anna said it more as an after thought. "I don't understand that kind of love or happiness. Must be something special you get after a few fights." Chuckling some she rose to her feet. "Anyway I wanted to let you know I'm sorry about the other day."

"Thanks. But know, you are still always welcome to talk to me Anna. Its what friends are for, yeah?"

"I'll hopefully come back with happier news next time." Anna smirked slightly and made her way off. Now she had to apologize to their hosts. It felt like she was going to end up apologizing to the world.
*****************************

That evening Killian got into the bed with Star and he rubbed at his shoulder. It was hurting again and usually that's what happened a few days before he needed the next shot that would make it hurt for another week and then it would clear up after a few weeks only for the cycle to repeat. "Remember I'll be gone early in the morning. Got that next out patient surgery on the shoulder." Usually a local anesthetic and the shot along with the scans was about it. "Should be back in the afternoon."

Gingerly pulling Star closer to himself he snuggled with her for a few moments and then promptly fell asleep. This time the dreams didn't come till near morning and Killian sat up in the bed. Sweat was almost pouring off of him. Laying back down he slept for a while longer. At least till he had to get up and shower. Morgan took him to the hospital for the check up.

While Killian had been hoping they wouldn't have to do this process for a fourth time he knew they would. Changing into a hospital gown he laid on the bed and pulled the gown off his shoulder and let the blanket lay over the rest of himself to keep warm. A short while later the nurse came in and wiped his shoulder down with the cleansing oils before they rolled him into the surgery room again. Even though this was a different hospital they had all his records and they knew which surgery plan this one was. Before the doctor had the mask put over his face the woman went over the steps of the procedure with Killian and it seemed they were trying for a little more reconstruction again so it would take a week or two in the sling again. At least he could still go home at the end of it and there were only 2 major surgeries left.

The recovery room was much the same. He just got to lay in a bed while the nurses made sure he was stable enough to go home and they gave him a list of instructions to follow at home. Eventually Killian was rolled out in a wheelchair to the transport. He always hated that they wouldn't let him walk himself outside. Sitting inside the transport he looked over at Morgan. "I uh....Thanks."

Since there was no one to overhear he cautiously started into a conversation. "Why did you and mum want me back so much after everything?"

So he was finally coming around and the question seemed to be one coming from an insecurity. "You're our son and we want to know you. We want to be your parents as much now as we did when you were little. Now how we treat you would be differently. Not so dissimilar to what we do with you now."

Killian took a deep breath. "That's ok. I don't mind that. W-what about the games? Aren't you upset about that?" He was sure that they were hiding something. His parents couldn't just love him cause he was their baby once. Then again he would if it was Claire or any of his children. No matter how difficult or painful he could find a way to understand if they didn't choose to continue living that way.

Shaking his head the older man smiled. "We know what your reputation was at the games. There have been some rumors come over with the war. That's not what we see. What I see is what you choose to be."

The rest of the drive was quiet and Killian had to admit that he was relieved. They weren't trying to label him as anything. It really was a new start and his parents were giving him that option. Feeling a little more at ease in that area he wasn't quite as reserved during dinner though he spoke very little anyway. When he got to bed with Star again he laid on his good side. "I think I might like my parents. Have to wait and see where this all goes, but it looks good so far." Carefully he rested his free hand over the injured shoulder. "Only two more big surgeries and two more little treatments. Then I can be done with this. It's shorter healing time than they thought."

******************************************************

That night Anna stepped into the room to see that Kato had been doing all the research for the runaway except he was coming with. Anna wasn't in much of a mood to do anything horribly exciting. Pointing to the spa she left it there. "Lets just go to that one." A serious expression came to her face and she grabbed his chin and turned his face toward her. "I do love you Kato and I've decided that I'm going to fight for us with everything I've got. Maybe I don't do things the way you like all the time, but you know and I know if I want it I'll find a way to get it."
 
ONE MONTH LATER

Out of all her other pregnancies Star hadn't even been close to being this sick. For the last month she'd spent the majority in bed or laying down for fear of throwing up or dry heaving when she moved. Despite Belen's and Killian's tender care she ended up not doing much more than sleeping or wishing she could sleep. Even eating was near impossible as she'd just heave it up anyway. She hadn't had much extra weight to lose as it was and now she was several pounds below what she would've considered healthy. Belen and Morgan had been instrumental in helping watch the children especially with Killian healing from his shoulder reconstruction. After about three weeks of being so severally sick Belen got her in with a chip doctor willing to work with a human pregnancy. Kato had sent over all the necessary information he might need and had been in contact with him should questions arise.

Star and Killian went in to see him near the end of her first trimester. She had a little more energy and was a little less nauseous, but still she felt constantly drained. Already had a little bit of a hard pouch showing. Star hoped it wasn't because she'd dropped so much weight that she was showing so soon. It would be good to a doctor's second opinion. The chippequoti doctor, Dr. Farren, seemed to kind and knowledgeable. He was nearly 150 years old and had been part of the birthing unit for the last 80 years, having even seen some human births in his time. It relieved Star to know that he was just about the top of a line doctor as you could get, though he must've been expensive. "I must admit I'm rather excited to be working with a human/chip couple. I've never seen such a thing in all my years as a doctor. But you already having two of your own goes to show that its possible."

Star nodded. "Yes, as you probably saw in my paperwork though...I've required some special treatment to bear and sustain half-chips."
Doctor Farren nodded. "I did. Its all rather fascinating. Well, first things first...I'd like to do a series of blood panels and a tomography."
"A what?" Star questioned.
"A tomography. Where you get a picture of the babe inside and make sure its healthy and all that."
"Oh, an ultrasound." Star nodded.
"Um, no. Though we do use sound as part of the way we produce the image." Dr. Farren stands. "Please, follow me."
Star grips Killian's hand tightly and presses against him as they walk, feeling rather nervous about all the chippequoti eyes upon her. He took them a private room and took several vials of blood to be tested. He then had her lay down on an odd looking bed. "This will provide a whole dimensional picture of the babe inside." He said typing on a nearby computer. The tube began to shift and rotate slowly around her. After a few minutes a hologram appeared above them. Two tiny fetus's shifted and moved in the holopicture. Star could just reach out and touch them. Tears sprang to her eyes. "There's two?"
The doctor smiled and nodded. "Indeed there is. From the blood work I am also seeing that one is a girl and one is a boy."
Star had to laugh and grinned at Killian. "Guess we were both right. Oh my gosh they are so tiny. I've never been able to see my babies like this before."
"It is incredible technology. We have been able to see many things we would have otherwise missed with this tomography. It can pick up even the tiniest tumors, the slightest traces of diseases or tears in the body." Farren allowed them to continue watching the real-time holopicture as he talked. "From what I can tell...putting together your health records, and average human health and chippquoti human health, you do appear to be dangerously underweight and low in several nutrients vital to humans and chippequoti. Iron, calcium, metholin, Ambian 2 and a few others. I'll be sure that you send you home with enough to last you the month until your next visit. In addition I will be giving you a small book on essential chippequoti pregnancy care. We can keep in contact to see how much applies to you." He wrote something down on his datapad.

"I also want to work with you to improve your diet to help you gain the weight you need for three of you."
Star laughed weakly. "I might help if I could eat. I've been so nauseous these last few weeks, that I haven't been able to keep anything down."
"I see. Well, for chippequoti that is an easy fix. I am uncertain if it will work on humans but...lets give it try." He went over to a medical cabinet. "Are you nauseous now?"
"A bit, yes." Star nodded. He came over and had her roll onto her side then beckoned Killian over. Farren pushed up the back of her shirt and pulled out what looked like a fat button with a small needle. "One Chippequoti and humans there is a nerve right here that affects the digestive portion of the body and also sends the signal of nausea to the brain. Star, you feel a small pinch but the nausea should leave immediately." He showed Killian where to place the button and how to push it in. Star winced, twitching a little, but then her face began to relax. "Oh, wow. All the nausea just went away. That's incredible!" She sat up.
"We recommend not keeping it in for more than 10 to 12 hours at a time and waiting at least 4 to 5 hours to see if your nausea has gone away on its own. I will send you home with a box you can use until our next visit. Unless you have further questions, I'll not need to see you for another month unless other complications come up."
**********************************************************************************************************
"Anna the taxi is packed and ready to go." Kato came inside the house looking for her. They'd been putting off their vacation till Star was feeling better and now that she was they'd be able to finally get some alone time. He hated how things were still a little tense, a little tender. Both of them were a bit awkward and unsure. Still it helped to know that Anna had promised to work on this as hard as he was. He smiled gently as she came out with her favorite yellow dress and heels. "You look beautiful. Have everything you need?"

***
Four days wasn't a super long time, and yet with just the two of them...it would be long enough. A spa resort sounded a little boring to Kato but he knew that Anna could use pampering that he just couldn't give her. After Kato set down the bags in the room he once again looked over what was available. "There are massages, salt rooms, meditation chambers, hot springs, detox stations, a soul mind and body seminar, musical therapy, and several other things I couldn't begin to pronounce. I wonder how much of this for tourists and how much the chippequoti actually use." Kato said, laying down the pamphlet then looked around the room. It was cozy, with adjustable lights and heatable blankets as well a small bathroom. "Well, what do you think? Nice?"
 
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