How Green Becomes Wood

"That's totally fair. I speak it about the level of a five year old, and I can't read or write it at all. I lived with Dark before he knew English, and he was..." Cooger shook his head, for a moment seeming truly somber, remembering what Dark was like when they met for the very first time, "adjusting to a lot, I guess you could say, so we basically had to invent a pidgin language to speak together. Let me tell you, the first time he was able to express his deeper thoughts, it was like a door had been blown open. My family adored him, 'cause I'd bring him home on holiday breaks, and he told me years later that when I brought him home on that first Thanksgiving break, he had no idea what was happening, and I swear my mom loves him more than me. But that's fine, because Tarot's family loves me more than him, I was a marvel to them... You know,"

He slowed the boat down so he could talk in a more regular speaking voice, "That's another thing you can do, if you want to show them how you appreciate them, ya know? You can tell 'em in their own language. Even if you mess up, I'm sure the effort alone'll mean a ton. And all our skills in Arabic will be brushed up on after the baby gets here, because you can bet they'll be certain she grows up fluent."
 
"Alright, but which one do we learn?" Alec asked uncertainly. "I'm not sure which one they speak. I looked it up once, and it turns out Egyptian Arabic is a good deal different from Iraqy Arabic."

"I guess we just pick out whatever words we can and compare," Xander suggested. He leaned over and let his fingers touch the water as it skimmed by. He wasn't sure how to feel when Cooger talked about Dark's past. He knew Dark had a, well, dark past, and he'd picked up on a fair few bits by himself just through observation and the occasional hint dropped here and there, but, in truth, he didn't want to think about it. He knew that was likely not the right approach, but when he thought of Dark being young and vulnerable and hurting like him, it made him strangely uncomfortable. Dark wasn't vulnerable. He was the iron rock that sheltered them all and stood firm. He was the invulnerable superhero. It didn't sit right to think of that ideal held up against the thought of a young, pained, vulnerable kid. He'd rather not think about it.
 
"Go with Egyptian," Cooger advised, "They speak a somewhat blended version, and from what they've told me, they can understand both, but they definitely lean more towards Egyptian Arabic just because Tarot still has family over there. Plus if you go with Egyptian, then you can impress her family when you meet them. Plus, I mean, what country are you more likely to visit some day? Always learn to say thanks in the languages you're most likely to use. Which is why I don't understand why my mom made me take Latin in high school!"

He looked out at the empty water, and after a moment, not attending to to Xander's pensiveness, he asked, "Y'all want to see how fast she can go?"
 
Xander sat up away from the water. "Yes! How fast can it go?"

"No!" Alec yelped. "No, thank you, this is fast enough without seatbelts."

Xander glanced at Alec, a little disappointed, but he nodded. "I suppose you're right. What would happen if one of us fell out going at that speed? Although, we do have these vests." He tugged at the fest demonstratively.

Alec looked down at his vest. "I suppose, but I'd still really rather not."
 
When Alec firmly refused to go any faster, Cooger privately wondered how he was going to survive the amusement park, but didn't voice the concern aloud. Kid didn't want to go faster, kid didn't need to go faster, and he didn't need to be ashamed of it, "Alright, well, do you both want to learn to drive the boat? I promise it's easier than they make it look on SpongeBob, there's nothing you can crash into, and you can go at whatever speed you're comfortable at."
 
"Yes!" Xander said eagerly. "Can I go first?"

Alec nodded, agreeing a little more slowly, "Yes, I think that could be a lot of fun. I'm not sure I understand how it works."

Xander pointed to the rudder. "It looks simple. You point in the opposite direction that you want to go, right? But how do you make it actually go?"
 
Cooger stood, having Xander sit where he had been, and hooked a specific cord onto Xander's life vest, "That's the kill switch, so if you fall out the boat automatically stops. Don't fall out," and then he explained how to control the boat, carefully walking through all of the different pieces, emphasizing that if he needed to slow down, he needed to actually pull back on the throttle.
 
"Back is slow, forward is fast, don't yank this cord, don't fall out," Xander said slowly. It seemed simple enough. He waited until Cooger had sat down before gently easing the throttle forward. He let the boat go slow at first, testing out the controls and seeing how they worked. It was actually as simple as he hoped, though also backward to logical thinking. Instead of like a car where the tires pulled the vehicle toward where you wanted to go, the propeller pushed you away from somewhere else, meaning you had to reverse your thought process. Even so, it wasn't too bad. He didn't have much by way of fine control, and so the ride was a little choppy, but he got the hang of it well enough not to toss them all out of the boat quick enough. He slowly sped up, enjoying being at the helm and in control.
 
"There you go, you've got it," Cooger said, sitting so he could keep a close eye on Xander. His face was casual, but he was in a posture that would allow him to quickly rush over and retake control if something happened, "See, we're like pirates now. Or we could be, if only there was another boat to rob. How fun would that be? We trick Dark and Tarot into having a nice date out on one of those big pontoon boats and then speed up on this little thing and board 'em? Never had a pirate crew before."

He looked at Alec, "Who would you be on the crew, little Sage? The Navigator? Are you good with maps and directions?"
 
Xander snickered at the suggestion as he lifted his face to the wind. This was so freeing! So fantastic! It was like he was flying without the fear of landing on a hard surface and dying. He supposed he could drown in the lake, but that's what the life jackets were for.

"Oh, no, sir, I cannot guide anyone anywhere," Alec told Cooger seriously. "The last thing you want me to be is the navigator. I could be... I could be the ship's doctor and treasurer! I secure the loot from the other ships and make certain it is all accounted for so we can divvy it up fairly amongst ourselves later. Right?"

"I call helmsman!" Xander called, speeding up the boat briefly just to underscore his point. "And I can help fight off the government forces."

"And Cooger is the captain!" Alec said, holding tight to his seat.

"Like there was any doubt about that!"
 
"There see, we got it all sorted! Now we just need a name for our mighty ship!" He laughed, "And then we'll get, like, wooden swords or whatever else pirates got. Oh, shoot, though,"

He frowned, leaning back and looking up at the sky, "Probably a bad idea to board a ship with Tarot on it, huh? She'll probably use her witchcraft against us, we gotta make her neutral territory or something. Don't want her to put a curse on us or nothing. But then again, it'd be no fun to try to get on a boat with just Dark on it, but he doesn't have any other friends."
 
"Alec can sneakily learn some magic so he can counter any spells or hexes," Xander told Cooger. He started slowing the boat down, trying to remember how to bring it to a stop. He remembered after a bit of slow puttering, and the motor continued to put-put, but the propellor no longer drove them forward.

Alec grinned "I have a better idea. We can invite Sloan and Peter, and it can be all of us teens against you old people."

Xander snickered. "Daizi would definitely toss you overboard if she heard you say that. Here, you give it a try! It's fun."

Alec nervously traded places with Xander and waited for Cooger to give him the instructive talk.
 
"Nah, Tarot doesn't care about getting old, she wants to be a Hag. It's Dark who is weird about aging, he's got so many creams about it. But we can split the difference and make Dark and myself capitans, and we each get some of the four of y'all, but that's a good idea," He replied, loving this plot. He would never get too old to plan an over the top game like that, "There are a few islands in the lake, we should hide treasure on one and whoever gets it back to their port first wins."

After the twins traded places, Cooger talked Alec through it, just as he had with Xander, although much more empathetically, since Alec looked nervous, "You really cannot mess up, okay? The throttle stays in place, you don't keep your hand on it, so if you get it to a speed you're comfortable with, you can just leave it there, okay bud? You've got this, there's nothing to hit, and nothing can go wrong." He patted Alec on his shoulder.
 
"Shame we don't have a neutral party that could hide the treasure for us and make us go look for it," Xander mused to himself as he settled into his seat. He nodded to Alec and gave him a thumbs-up with one hand, trying to hide the fact that the other hand was gripping the seat. Just in case.

Alec nodded, shivering a little in nerves. "Right," he agreed. "This is not a big deal. We can go slow. I won't drown us all dead. That's impossible. Right? Right." He reached out and gingerly took the throttle. He couldn't remember ever being in charge of anything like this in his life! To him, it felt like someone had handed him the controls of a roller coaster. No, he was overthinking this. Like Cooger said, what was there to hit on this big, open lake? Maybe he shouldn't ask that question.

He steeled his resolve, seized the throttle with a firm grip, and ever so gently pushed. It didn't move. It took Alec a bit to figure out he had to push a lot more firmly to get the stick to move. In a way, that made him feel better. It would be much harder to accidentally do anything dangerous. FInally, he got the boat moving at a snail's pace and gradually eased it up to a bit faster. It was still relatively slow, but as he played with the controls and experimented, he grew more and more confident.
 
"I'm sure we could find someone," Cooger told Xander, and then settled in, gently coaxing Alec while he figured it out, and when they began to go at a consistent, if a bit slow space, he grinned and excitedly said, "There you go, man! Great job! It's not so bad, right? You're doing great!"

Again, he looked at Xander, "See, we gotta start learning Sea Shanties or something, you're all taking right to this boat thing! Man," He looked back at Alec, "You've got this, bud. Do you know what I've always wished they had? Ice cream trucks but on the water. Just like, a speedboat with a big cooler full of popsicles and those Spider-Man icecreams with the gumball eyes that always look like he's dying when you take him outta the package. I love a good ice cream truck. If I ever get tired of fixing shit, maybe I'll be the guy in the truck."
 
"You could drive an ice cream boat around the crowded beaches in the summer and make a killing," Xander pointed out. He relaxed, nearly smiling as he enjoyed the ride. Cooger was being good to Alec, really good. He felt he could enjoy himself a little knowing someone else was looking after his brother.

Alec grinned and nudged the boat to a faster speed, still staying in his comfort zone but challenging it a little bit. Quietly, he began to sing.

There once was a ship that put to sea
And the name of that ship was the Billy o' Tea
The winds blew hard, her bow dipped down
Blow, me bully boys, blow (huh)


Xander joined in on the chorus, and they sang much louder.

Soon may the Wellerman come
To bring us sugar and tea and rum
One day, when the tonguin' is done
We'll take our leave and go


They stopped, laughing a little at their own fun, not expecting Cooger to know the song. They'd happily teach him if he didn't.
 
"Hell yeah, man!" Cooger cheered, laughing as they actually showed up with a sea shanty. He never managed to learn the verses, but he knew the chorus, and even though he was by no means a great singer, he gladly joined in, rough, passionate, and having a great time. The still lake, clear sky, warm weather, music, and his nephews. What could be better? And he saw Alec getting more confident, which was awesome.

Covertly, he filmed a quick video of the twins having a great time and sent it off to Dark, knowing he'd be glad to see they were doing just fine.
 
Alec did have every verse memorized, and Xander knew enough to chime in where needed, and the pair of them worked their way through the entire song while Alec drove the boat in a giant figure eight, belting out the chorus with Cooger and encouraging him to sing louder. Alec, too, began to feel the sensation not of paralyzing responsibility but of freedom while at the helm. The wind wrapped around him, giving him the sensation that he might be able to take off flying at any second, and, for once, that was not a terrifying thought. It was a perfect day.

Finally, Alec pulled back on the throttle and slowed the boat to a stop. "I think I've had enough of being a helmsman for now," he told Cooger, tired but happy. He was still recovering from his lack of eating, thus his energy levels still ran low, and tension really took it out of a fellow. Not that he was tense any longer, but the fact remained that all he wanted to do was sit next to Xander for a while.

"Lunch time?" Xander suggested.
 
"Aye, that sounds great!" Cooger replied, intentionally leaning into the theme they had created for themselves, "You did great at the helm there, Alec, your brother may have a run for his money at being the Helmsman!"

He clipped the safety cord back to his own vest, and dropped the anchor so they wouldn't drift around while they ate, having Xander get all of their lunches out and properly distributed.

Coincidentally, just a bit into their meal, Xander's phone chimed with a text from Dark: Yeah, ask him how old he was when he first learned to ride a bike. Oh, wait, my mistake, I apologize. He has not learned.
 
Alec hungrily bit into his sandwich, devouring half of it before pausing to take a breath. "Thank you, Captain Cooger, but I'm content to be back-up helmsman," he assured Cooger. He offered to tap his drink against Cooger's in a toast.

"Wait," Xander said as he read the text, "you never learned to ride a bike, Cooger? How did you not learn to ride a bike? Even Alec figured out how to ride a bike."

Alec sniffed, pretending to e offended. "Thank you for that."

"Sorry, but you did crash into the back of a parked car," Xander pointed out.
 
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