How Green Becomes Wood

Dark closed the door, and waited for a few moments before going back to the twins, and lingered just inside of the room, not quite wanting to interrupt them, and not quite knowing what to say. Eventually, folding his arms over his chest again, he said, "He left... said we have nothing to worry about from his office."
 
Alec hiccupped and rubbed his face. "I like him."

Xander gave him a confused look. "Really?"

Alec nodded. "He reminds me of Cooger a little, but quieter and gentler."

Xander shrugged and looked up at Dark. "I knew we didn't. It was going to be fine. You can breathe again."

"So can you," Alec pointed out. "Oh, he forgot his puzzle toy."

Xander scowled at the jumble of metal pieces. "He can get it back after I solve it."
 
"Cooger is not so well spoken," Dark replied, going to sit next to them again, "If you had no doubts, why did you keep trying to interrupt him? You were very harsh with him, which I would not expect if you were so certain we would be okay."

Still, he exhaled, sitting, for once, inelegantly, "I have to call Daizi about this. She will need to know everything that has happened..." Regardless, he did not reach for his phone, "Are you both okay? You know, he told me this incident would make it harder for us to foster or adopt, I told him we are quite satisfied with three."
 
Xander rolled his eyes and grumbled softly but didn't answer Dark directly. "So, if you find another kid walking through the snow alone and homeless, you'll turn your nose up at them?"

"Wait," Alec said, reaching out to touch Dark's arm. "Do you have to tell Daizi... everything?" He bit his lip, watching Dark anxiously. If Dark said yes, he wouldn't argue, but he would rather not talk about a certain thing if it could be avoided. Besides, it would only stress Daizi, and it was over and done with. DId they really need to bring it up again?
 
"I can get them help without taking them in, I am sure this country is full of supposedly-infertile couples who need a pain in the ass," Dark replied, smirking mildly at Xander.

But then he looked at Alec, eyes solemn and caring, "We do not need to tell her anything you are not comfortable with sharing. Although she would understand, if she did know. I used to..." He hesitated and shook his head. They didn't like hearing about his past, and he didn't want the thought of him being vulnerable to weigh on them, "I will not tell her if you do not want me to."
 
Alec looked away, fingers instinctively tightening and loosening on Dark's arm. "Maybe another time," he finally said. "Not right now. Besides. She's at work. We shouldn't worry her too much at work."

"We'll talk details later," Xander said, stretching out. "She should probably know, but we can talk about it later, right?"
 
Dark put his hand over Alec's, understanding the hesitancy, "Another time, then. Whenever you are ready." He paused for a moment, looking Alec up and down, and then hugged him tight to his chest. Shortly after, he released him, and tried to look into his eyes, wanting to say far too many things and not really being able to truly express any of them. Eventually, he settled on simply, "Thank you for letting us know."
 
Alec closed his eyes when Dark initiated the hug, savoring it. He treasured every touch and hug Dark gave him, even more so because he knew Dark was not an overly physical person. When Dark let go and thanked him, Alec looked into his face, trying to read his expression. There was a lot hidden in that look, but he couldn't decipher it. "You're welcome," he said softly, "but..." He reached up and gently put his hands on either side of Dark's face. "Are you alright? Really?"
 
Gently, Dark removed Alec's hands from his face, because it was a bit too much for him, but he held them, "I am always alright... I just..." He sighed, furrowing his brows and tapping his fingers against the back of Alec's hands, the way he would on a tabletop, "I was just remembering, something. From a very long time ago. I do not think it is something you would like to know about."
 
"You hurt yourself too, didn't you?" Alec said bluntly but softly. "Hurt yourself badly."

Xander shifted uncomfortably and looked away. But as much as he didn't like this conversation, he couldn't help joining in. "Cooger saved your life. Saw you in time and saved you from dying."

Alec didn't look away from Dark, letting him hold his hands and taking what he could get.
 
Dark fell silent, looking away from them, still holding Alec's hands, "They both did. He and Daizi both. But I hurt myself for a long time before them, since before I met them. A very long time..." He trailed off, thick in the remembrance. The memories had not really dulled in time, they colours had changed, but he still remembered it all vividly.

At last he released Alec's hands, and turned his own palm side up, not quite presenting them, "All of the scars have faded and been tattooed over, so they are not particularly noticeable now. But they used to be."
 
Alec touched Dark's palms with his fingertips, very lightly, like the wings of a butterfly, then drew them away. "I'm sorry you hurt so much in your heart," he said gently. "No one should hurt in their hearts so much they hurt their physical bodies. I'm sorry you had to feel that way. I'm sorry you didn't have a Dark and a Daizi to help you. To save you. But... I'm glad, too, that you are still here and that because of what happened to you, you know how to help others. I hope that's not too selfish, but I am so very, very glad that we have you now. If you hadn't gone through what you did, if we hadn't gone through what we did... none of us would be here right now. We would have taken different paths and maybe never met, if we lived at all, and I... I am really glad I got to meet you. I'm glad I got to be a family with you and Daizi and eventually the baby. But I'm sorry that you hurt like that."

Xander said nothing, still looking away, leaning away from Dark and Alec, his expression completely closed down. He was tense, anxious, not wanting to involve himself in the conversation, but he was listening.
 
"I did have a Daizi. She was just younger. And she did save me, literally, only I do not remember it." Dark said, drawing his hands back and folding them in his lap. He didn't mention how years later he saved her, it wasn't his story to tell or reveal, "But I am glad to still be here, and that I do not do that to myself anymore. The tattoos help with that," He held up his arm again, this time looking at the scars himself. For someone so rigid and orderly, they were all haphazard and asymmetrical, running in frenzied directions. But faded, long since faded, "they hide the old ones, and," he smirked slightly, chuckling grimly to himself, "I do not want to ruin them."

He looked at the twins again, not mourning, just at ease, "If helping you means you will never reach the point where you actually act on those urges, then it will make it all worth it. Because there are so many wonderful things in your future, and I think, if I had seen then what I would have in my life, and how happy I would be, I never would have done it."
 
Alec hadn't meant literally Daizi, he'd meant an older, grown couple to take Dark in as Dark and Daizi had taken he and Xander in, but he wasn't going to correct that. He was just glad that Dark had had someone. Daizi and Cooger, both of them in their own way helping Dark, and Dark likely helping them.

He smiled at Dark and then sighed, leaning back on the couch. "Emotions are exhausting!" he moaned, closing his eyes. "So are old traumas. It would be nice if we were like paintings and we could just... paint over scratches and mistakes. That'd be nice."
 
"Well I sort of did." Dark replied, looking at himself, but this time at his illustrations and not what lay beneath them, "All of the tattoos were like reclaiming a narrative. It was the story I wanted to tell, not the story of what happened to me. But you are right, emotions are exhausting. It is too early in the day for all of it," He checked the time and scoffed, "I would just be finishing my workout if I started it at my usual time."

He looked over at Xander, "Are you okay?"
 
Alec snickered. "I think you've worked out plenty for today." He nearly fell over when Xander stood up, having been meaning to compensate for Xander's weight.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Xander said as he straightened. "I'm going to take Enkidu for a walk. I bet he'll like it after getting banished to the backyard again."

Alec watched him in confusion. He was used to knowing everything about Xander, so being genuinely confused was a new thing for him. Xander had never been the best with emotions and feelings, but why did Dark's story seem to almost scare him?
 
"Mentally and emotionally, sure," Dark said, "but if I skip one day I will allow myself to skip more, and then we would all be miserable." He kept his eyes on Xander as he spoke, though, trying to beyond the teen's mask. He had his hypotheses about why he shut down, but it wasn't the time to voice them or delve into it more. They were all tired enough, and would probably need to relive it all later when Daizi came home.

So instead, he rolled his shoulders back and said, "He will like that. And it will stop him from trying to eat Daizi's flowers."
 
Alec glanced between Xander and Dark. After a moment, he asked Dark, "Can I watch you work out? I've never had the chance to see someone do that outside of media. If it's weird, though, you can say no. I don't want you to feel uncomfortable."

Xander grabbed Enkidu's leash and went out to fetch the dog. He gave him a few pets and praises for waiting patiently and took him out front to take a nice, long walk and a bit of a run. It was rather warm and late in the day for a run in July, but if Xander didn't move, he felt he would explode!
 
Of all the requests he expected to recieve from the twins, that was not one, and it took Dark a few minutes to process it, "I... suppose so?" It was weird, and he couldn't pretend otherwise, but he also didn't see any harm in it, "You could also try to do modified versions of what I do, so you are not just watching," He suggested, to make it perhaps a bit easier
 
Alec held up his hands quickly. "If you think it's weird, or you want that time to yourself, I don't mind! I just thought it sounded interesting. That's all. You don't need to spend time teaching me when you have things you need to do. In fact, I have some... some things I should be doing, too. I can do that. That's fine! Yes, actually, why don't I go do that while you work out?" He stood and moved toward the stairs.
 
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