How Green Becomes Wood

"Oh my god," Daizi breathed, her shoulders trembling. What they were saying hit her on a delay, and she reached out with a shaky hand to squeeze her husband's so something felt real. "No--really? You really want this, I didn't guilt you into it?" She touched the paper again with her other hand. Joy, confusion, love, worry, and half a dozen other emotions flashed rapidly across her face. "Are you sure?"
 
Alec smiled and reached out to put his hand on top of hers where she was touching the paper. "I am absolutely positive." His heart pounded in his chest in excitement and nervousness. His hand troubled a little despite his best effort. "If you are still willing, we want to be officially adopted by our parents."

Xander inched closer and carefully put his hand on her shoulder. "I'm positive, too," he said, his voice low and a bit hoarse. "I am absolutely one-hundred percent positive." He looked at Dark to include him. Yes, Dark had been asked in advance, but that didn't mean this wasn't just as impactful for him. "We want to... to belong to you."

"And you to belong to us," Alec concluded.
 
Daizi dropped her head and whimpered for a moment, and then raised her head again, "I would be honoured to adopt you." She let go of Dark's hand so she could set the frames down, feeling absolutely overwhelmed, and turned to her boys so she could hug Alec, even now stopping short from hugging Xander, even though she wanted to more than anything else in that moment. "I would be honoured, I love you both so much, I love you. It's not just because you have a concussion, right? Oh, I love you."

Dark rubbed Daizi's back with his free hand, he had to support Ivy in his lap with his other one, but he was hardly keeping it together. His sons wanted him as a father. It seemed natural they wanted Daizi as their mother, but the fact they wanted him... He didn't know what to do with everything he felt inside. Daizi had been able to find the words to say, he had two weeks notice and he still did not.
 
Alec giggled and practically fell into Daizi's hug, sniffling as he started to cry. "We love you, too! So very, very much. I'm just sorry it's taken me so long to get to this point." He hugged her tighter. "Thank you for being my Mama." He pulled away from Daizi and turned to hug Dark, scooping Ivy up in the hug, too, but it was mostly for Dark. "Thank you for being my Baba."

Xander hesitated, internally fighting with himself. Then, when Alec let go of Daizi, he leaned in and forced his arms around Daizi. He shivered a little at the sensation, but as he made himself stay still, the sensation started to ease. The hug still wasn't exactly pleasant, but it was far less painful than it ever had been before. He squeezed Daizi gently and hugged her for real for the first time.
 
Daizi couldn't help but sob as she squeezed Alec tightly, and then when she felt Xander hug her, she gasped softly, and gently, and loosely, wrapped her arms around him. "I love you so much," She told him through her tears, "I love you, and I'm always going to love you, Xander. Thank you." She rubbed his back, "Oh, thank you."

Ivy squeaked and squirmed but Dark held firm to both of them, "Thank you for being my son," He whispered to Alec, only letting go when he did. Daizi let go of Xander before she was ready, because she didn't want to overstimulate him, but she could of held onto him for the rest of the night.

It was only after she pulled back and made an attempt at drying her face when a thought popped into her head, and she turned to her husband, "I didn't even ask," she said, with a slightly laugh, "Goose, do you want to formally adopt them?"

"Of course I do," He answered. It had, naturally, been something they had talked about before, but now that it was real, it seemed necessary to reaffirm it.

"Oh, good." She laughed, touched the braille paperwork, and whimpered again, "Oh my god."
 
Xander stepped back when Daizi let go of him and gave himself a little shake. His skin still tingled, but it was tolerable. He didn't feel the need to scrub off his skin. Even if he had, he counted it worth it just to see, hear, and feel just how excited Daizi was. It filled him with a warm glow inside, and he smiled to himself as he glanced between Dark, Daizi, and Ivy. Family!

Alec snuffled inelegantly and wiped his face with a napkin. "Um." He cleared his throat so he could talk properly. "We filled out most of the paperwork ourselves, but you'll have to both sign it and file it and stuff." He broke into another grin. "If it's not too much trouble."
 
Dark wiped his eyes, "I will get my pen," he said, pushing himself up to a standing position. God, this emotion was not good on his rib, he was breathing too hard.

Turning back to the paperwork, Daizi began actually reading through it, "How did.." She began to ask, not really knowing how to, "What did you do about Declan?"
 
Xander presented Dark with a pen he'd already been carrying in his pocket. It was a nice pen, too. "Here you go."

Alec shook his head. "That bit's a bit more complicated, but if I understood correctly, by putting forward this adoption request, he gets cut off entirely and no longer has to pay child support."

"Unfortunately," Xander grumbled, but he didn't seem as angry about it as he used to. He was slowly moving on an no longer "needing" to punish his so-called "father."
 
Dark took his pen and sat back down, wondering where he got this particular pen, because it was certainly nicer than most of the pens he had seen either twin use. Then he took the paperwork he could read while Daizi read over her copy. When they were satisfied with the paperwork, Dark held his wife's hand, and feeling very much the same as when he signed his marriage license and Ivy's birth certificate, signed his name. His handwriting was bold but elegant, and it flowed across his line. Then, he handed the pen to Daizi, and guided her to her line, and she made the best marking on the paper that she could manage. The D in her name she could sign fairly well, but the rest of the letters were little more than a line before she wrote in a W and a tiny star, never once lifting the pen from the page.

After it was done, Dark couldn't help but stare at the paperwork. It was done. Yes, technically they still needed to file it, but: Still. He squeezed Daizi's hand and kissed her knuckles, while she trembled with one hand over her heart.

"You're ours," She murmured, trying to stop herself from crying again, "You have no idea how much this means to me."
 
"Stop crying, Mama! You're making me cry," Alec blubbered. He'd managed to hold it together while watching Dark and Daizi read through and sign the papers, but the moment Daizi started to cry, he started crying again. "I love you both so much." He couldn't help himself and hugged Daizi again. They were a family! They were legally, officially, irrevocably family!

Xander didn't say anything, but he had inched a little farther away from the gathering and was attempting to surreptitiously wipe his eyes. A couple of little sniffles did escape despite his best efforts.
 
"It's hard," She said, squeezing him close, "It's hard not to cry. I've been dreaming of this, and I thought it was never going to happen, and I had made my peace with that, but," She stroked the back of his head, where he hadn't been grabbed, "I am so, so happy. I am so happy. I love you."

Dark took a deep breath, because he needed to, but bit his tongue to keep from swearing because the breath was far too sudden and his lungs expanded far too much. "What a special day, Ivy," He told his daughter, who was a bit unsettled by all the movement around her, "Today means that your brothers are always going to be your brothers, no matter what. They would have been anyway, but now everybody will know. And that is a very, very good thing."
 
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Alec gave Daizi another squeeze before letting go and shuffling back to try to stop crying. "That's it. This day can't get any better than how it is right now."

"Agreed," Xander grunted from his spot with his back to them.
 
"I wish I had something I could pull out to add to it," Daizi said, wiping her face again, and laughing while also subtly checking to make sure she hasn't soaked through the bodice of her dress, "but I don't."

"We still have dessert, but that is all," Dark said, swallowing hard.
 
"Dessert helps to finish off this day pretty nicely," Xander said. He put an arm around Alec's shoulders as Alec was still trying to get himself fully under control.

"Mmmm, yes. Dessert," Alec agreed.
 
"I will get it," Dark said, handing Ivy to Daizi, who immediately snuggled her up tightly, and then went inside to get it. He knew where it was, it was faster if he got it. And having a few moments alone inside was something he needed. He was so happy, after everything they had been through as a family this was so much of what they wanted, and needed. And as soon as the paperwork was filed, everyone in the world, so long as those records existed, would know they had been family.

So why did he still feel hollow? Deep down at his core, why did he still feel numb? Surrounding all of it was genuine joy, and he knew it was what he wanted, but as soon as he was out of sight, he exhaled, and his shoulders fell slightly. How selfish could he be. This was wonderful, this is what he wanted, and what Daizi wanted, and what the twins wanted, after months of praying they would want it, and there he was, feeling happy but not. He had everything he wanted, now. He won.

And yet.

As he went to get the dessert, a voice from somewhere in the back of his mind berated him. It was selfish for him not to be simply happy. It was disrespectful. It was abnormal. It would be beyond hurtful if they found out. All he could do, really, was clench his jaw, lower his head, and bring out the fancy cheesecake, clean plates and forks, and a knife to cut it with, flinching when he accidentally caught sight of his reflection.

Then, he went back outside, set the cheesecake out, distributed everything, and kissed his wife, "Happy Mother's Day, darling."

"I don't think I will ever have a better one."
 
Alec had finally calmed down by the time Dark returned, and he and Xander sat with Daizi. Alec was making faces at Ivy and keeping her entertained, but he looked up and grinned at the sight of the cheesecake. "Oh, that looks so special!"

"It looks delicious," Xander confirmed. "It's Mother's Day, so the mother should get the first and the best piece."
 
"I did not make it myself," Dark told them, sitting down, "I just ordered it."

"I still appreciate it, Goose." Daizi told him, snuggling close to him. It had been a really, wonderful day. Even with her nap she was tired, purely from all of the strong emotions she had been hit with, but she wouldn't have had it any other way. That evening, outside underneath the dark sky, slowly dotting itself with stars she'd never see, was perfect. Absolutely perfect.

Dark cut and served the cheesecake, serving Daizi first as he was ordered, and took out his phone to put on just a bit of quiet ambiance as their evening deepened.
 
Alec and Xander had run out of things to say, so they ate their cheesecakes in silence. Alec leaned on Xander, feeling warm and happy and snuggly, completely worn out. Xander had a definitely headache now, but he wasn't going in until everyone else was done. He wanted to lay down and rest, but even more than that, he wanted to be with his family. His new family, yet it felt old. Settled. Definitive. His place and his home.
 
Daizi had to go inside first to give Ivy her final feeding of the night and lay her down to sleep. Not long after Dark went in--he had to go to school the next day, and he needed to be prepared for it, although he didn't particularly want to go. Well, he did, because he wanted to show everyone that he was just fine, but at the same time, he didn't, because he wasn't any more rested than he was a week ago.

His wife fell asleep warm and content in his arms that night, and despite this growing emptiness inside of him, he slept, too. It helped she was so bright, and so full of joy, he wanted to be like that. Just like he always had, he wanted to be better for her, so he was able to relax in bed with her, and sleep. It really had been an incredible day, and Daizi fell asleep excited to tell everyone she knew what the twins had given her for mother's day.

Come morning, Dark found getting out of bed difficult. Not physically, but when his eyes opened, the thought of sitting up seemed insurmountable. Daizi rubbed his back a bit, nudging him to get up, and eventually he did, but he was still tying his tie when he came downstairs for breakfast.
 
Alec was down for breakfast, but Xander was still upstairs in bed. Alec looked up from putting together his lunch for the day and smiled. "Good morning! It feels weird making only one lunch. How are you feeling today?" He was wearing black jeans and a grey shirt with a three-quarter sleeve. A picture of a white unicorn with rainbow mane and tail looking over its shoulder with a grumpy look decorated the front.
 
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