[OOC] Endurn: Heart of the Alauum

Rainjay said:
I'd stick it in as both a strength and a weakness, but that's just me. But yeah, it wouldn't be a skill unless your character likes to costume and play dress up or something lol. That would be an interesting character to say the least.



Well, on the idea of vanity... This is one of the skills that comes with the vanity dragon in Soul's first roleplay (under the Illos tab on the website):
Attract: The dragon's magnificence is hard to resist to most creatures, but when the dragon deliberately tries to impress others the effect is hypnotizing. Those of the opposite gender are mesmerized, luckily humans are only slightly affected by this.

Not sure how well over it would go if you tried saying your character is the hottest stud in the land, buuuut maybe, since he's the mage of intuition, has some sort of ability to play on people's inherent vanity, or ego. Some sort of hypnosis. So if he comes across someone who's really in love with themselves, he can present themselves with a mirage of their own image to hypnotize them. *spitballing*
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A good idea.. He could captivate people in like a mesmerizing way. It's suiting to his character I think. But also, we could say that the spell has to be catered directly to each target. If he weaves a spell on how manly he is to a a young child, the child likely won't be affected. So it could utilize his ability to perceive the character and interests of others and weave an alluring spell to captivate him. It would develop as his perception skills develop and as he gets to know the target better
 
That's an awesome concept, honestly. If he were to know his target especially well, I would imagine he'd be able to completely trance them for a while.
 
Soulserenity20 said:
So, he wouldn't be a master of anything. I don't allow masters because A: The char would have to be hundreds of years old, and because this is a roleplay. Anything that has no room for growth isn't built for a roleplay :) He can be experienced, but definitely not one of the best acrobats in the Odakkai clan, especially since there are folk in the clans that are 2,000 years old and have been leaping and rolling for a much longer time.

This also doesn't make as much sense for an Oddakai, they're slender, lithe creatures, actually the weakest of all the races. They wouldn't have immense strength as is described here :)

This also directly contradicts claims that he has some immense strength, so I'd probably go through the whole CS and just make sure you're remaining consistent.




Now, the major overarching issue with the CS is that it's very imbalanced. You have 9 strengths with 3 weaknesses, two of which aren't very notable weaknesses. He's strong, fast, smart, perceptive, good at combat, a supposed master of acrobatics and staff wielding even as a young elf, and fearless, etc. And his only weakness is "can't handle pain well, a bit awkward, and rash." So right now, the character would be considered OP. You just need to take some time and make sure your character makes sense, and then spend some time balancing the character :)
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Right I'm back and awake. I'll edit accordingly.
 
I really need to make my guidelines clearer. It's like, I've gone over probably 100 CS's, if not more, and I still haven't written out a list of my "do's" and "do not's"
 
'No royalty' is the only rule I remember.

Aight so lemme make a short list since it's annoying to switch
Tone down his skill. Adept?
Edit his strength. Willowy nature.
New weaknesses needed due to little drawbacks.
 
So I've toned down the skill, deleted the strength post, but I can't think up a potential weakness.
I was about to add fear of bears since I couldn't.
Any ideas?
 
Yes my tips are at the bottom of the CS page, but here are some additional ones:

  • Balance strengths and weaknesses (try and keep them balanced in number. If not, a long list of strengths can be balanced with a strong weakness)
  • No masters, prodigies, "against all odds" characters, generally. If you want an against all odds char, you'll have to work closely with me to accept it since my biggest pet peeve is a char that doesnt fall into realistic standards of existence (like, the kid who killed his or her parents but is still not only psychologically sound, but also a Saint and a charm to everyone. Etc. Etc.)
  • Make sure your character makes sense (weak races can't be hyper powerful, non-magical races can't be mages, someone with a lifetime of sickness can't be physically fit and skilled in a bunch of sports, etc.)
  • Edit your own cs
  • Check with me before making any 'exceptions' to rules. (ex: most Almiun have purple eyes but yours has red for some reason. Ex: moon born get burnt by the sun, but yours has somehow developed stronger skin. Ex: odakkai worship dragons but yours kills them.)
  • Don't give me a list of 5+ mastered skills. I mean, sure cooking, weaving, hunting, sneaking, and healing could all be well developed because of a life of doing them, but to be a skilled user of 4 weapons, 2 types of martial arts, have great riding skills, great sneaking and acrobat skills, charisma, and several languages? No. Just.... Please no.
  • Understand the cultures so you don't make a char that makes no sense (ask about what you don't know.)

I'm starting to realize that all I want is a normal, balanced, realistic character that can be turned into something great instead of beginning as something great. I think this is why I didn't write things down. These all seem like common sense to me.
 
Over all, character should:

  • Have a unique history section that explains almost every aspect of their CS.
  • Be coherent. If they suffered trauma, give them traumatic symptoms. If they spent their lives in a library, don't write that they're athletic adventurers.
  • Be balanced.
  • Have room for development.
  • Have a purpose or personal ambition.
  • Be realistically developed based in their age.
 
Soulserenity20 said:
Yes my tips are at the bottom of the CS page, but here are some additional ones:

  • Balance strengths and weaknesses (try and keep them balanced in number. If not, a long list of strengths can be balanced with a strong weakness)
  • No masters, prodigies, "against all odds" characters, generally. If you want an against all odds char, you'll have to work closely with me to accept it since my biggest pet peeve is a char that doesnt fall into realistic standards of existence (like, the kid who killed his or her parents but is still not only psychologically sound, but also a Saint and a charm to everyone. Etc. Etc.)
  • Make sure your character makes sense (weak races can't be hyper powerful, non-magical races can't be mages, someone with a lifetime of sickness can't be physically fit and skilled in a bunch of sports, etc.)
  • Edit your own cs
  • Check with me before making any 'exceptions' to rules. (ex: most Almiun have purple eyes but yours has red for some reason. Ex: moon born get burnt by the sun, but yours has somehow developed stronger skin. Ex: odakkai worship dragons but yours kills them.)
  • Don't give me a list of 5+ mastered skills. I mean, sure cooking, weaving, hunting, sneaking, and healing could all be well developed because of a life of doing them, but to be a skilled user of 4 weapons, 2 types of martial arts, have great riding skills, great sneaking and acrobat skills, charisma, and several languages? No. Just.... Please no.
  • Understand the cultures so you don't make a char that makes no sense (ask about what you don't know.)

I'm starting to realize that all I want is a normal, balanced, realistic character that can be turned into something great instead of beginning as something great. I think this is why I didn't write things down. These all seem like common sense to me.
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Righto let's go over this
I could probably just move 'Stealth, speed, ranging' into one strength that he just gets from his job.
He's no longer a master since I overestimated the RP beginning scale.
Character used to be muscly birdman. He is now flighty birdman. (I'm reading over the race list. We have feathers. That's cool.)
Of course.
Of course.
Righto, how well developed would Hunter/gathering skills be if he's 106?
 
TheGreenerGrey said:
So I've toned down the skill, deleted the strength post, but I can't think up a potential weakness.
I was about to add fear of bears since I couldn't.
Any ideas?
Click to expand...
Common weaknesses: old injuries, deficiencies in skills in certain aspects, like unable to climb trees, swim, ride a mount, run for a long time, etc., and fears are good. You can add a lack of knowledge of other cultures, like Avyra's lack of knowledge of the Dhomharan because of her race. You can add psychological or theological weaknesses: refuses to kill, believes they are protected by God and so never hesitate to do dangerous things, sexist, dislikes a certain race, etc.
 
TheGreenerGrey said:
Righto let's go over this
I could probably just move 'Stealth, speed, ranging' into one strength that he just gets from his job.
He's no longer a master since I overestimated the RP beginning scale.
Character used to be muscly birdman. He is now flighty birdman. (I'm reading over the race list. We have feathers. That's cool.)
Of course.
Of course.
Righto, how well developed would Hunter/gathering skills be if he's 106?
Click to expand...
He'd be a good hunter at that age. An expert even. Masters and sages are those who've been doing it for thousands or hundreds of years and are the go to teachers. Experts can take care of themselves entirely.
 
Soulserenity20 said:
Common weaknesses: old injuries, depicienxies in skills in certain aspects, like unable to climb trees, swim, ride a mount, run for a long time, etc., and fears are good. You can add a lack of knowledge of other cultures, like Avyra's lack of knowledge of the Dhomharan because of her race. You can add psychological or theological weaknesses: refuses to kill, believes they are protected by God and so never hesitate to do dangerous things, sexist, dislikes a certain race, etc.
Click to expand...
Being unable to swim seems really fitting, and following along with that he probably wouldn't be able to speak the language of the Almiun
 
TheGreenerGrey said:
Being unable to swim seems really fitting, and following along with that he probably wouldn't be able to speak the language of the Almiun
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Yeah, most characters will have language barriers as weaknesses. And yes he does! He's quite good for an almost 5 year old.

So, other weaknesses, from that list I gave you you should be able to come up with a few more. Just cater their to your char. I find personality or educational flaws are great. Moren is a hopeless romantic and he's hyper hyper superstitious, both of which are hilariously fun weaknesses to play XD
 
*peeks around* Yeah, well, my daughter is almost walking by herself. Yay for Simi!! *waves tiny flag of celebration*
 
Lol can an odakkai even be afraid of heights? That's like an Almiun being afraid of water or a Sylvuin fearing trees or a Dhomharan fearing caves XD
 
Soulserenity20 said:
Yeah, most characters will have language barriers as weaknesses. And yes he does! He's quite good for an almost 5 year old.

So, other weaknesses, from that list I gave you you should be able to come up with a few more. Just cater their to your char. I find personality or educational flaws are great. Moren is a hopeless romantic and he's hyper hyper superstitious, both of which are hilariously fun weaknesses to play XD
Click to expand...
How would you describe a lack of formal education? I think that might be an entertaining weakness to write about as he learns about stuff from other cultures that's new to him but common among others.

Mowkie said:
*peeks around* Yeah, well, my daughter is almost walking by herself. Yay for Simi!! *waves tiny flag of celebration*
Click to expand...
Holds up flag
 
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