This one is another glimpse of the past. A thought from a young woman who was reminiscing about a moment in her childhood. Strange one this is, though not really something I would favor. It's why I have decided to throw it in here. Let's take a look at it, shall we?
A Glimpse into the Past: A Girl and a Boy
There was a kid I knew, who always walked by my house. Sometimes I'd even see him walking close by and riding the same bus as I do. Every now and then we'd talk a bit, and converse about random things. I'd like to say that we became friends, but the way it seemed was that we were just talkative acquaintances. I noticed one thing about him. Something that I never payed attention to, but was always there whenever the kid showed up. He never looked me in the eye, and he always kept his eyes to the ground.
The kid was actually very humble and very quiet, but he always had some sort of look of discomfort. So, as a girl who has known him for so long, I asked him why. I asked him why he never looked up at the sky, or at the faces of other people. He replied by trying to avoid answering the question, saying,
"I don't know..."
I knew that was a lie, so I tried to ask him again. He just held his chin and scratched his head, trying to figure out a way to answer. I could see the discomfort he had grow as he tried to think about his reason. Eventually he did give up and said, with all honesty,
"I don't want to look up."
I asked him why that is, and he responded again,
"I'm scared."
I asked him what he was afraid of, and he replied,
"I'm scared. I don't want to look up. I don't want to look up and see someone hurt me. I don't want to see them as they attack."
As a self-proclaimed humanitarian, I felt a bit puzzled about his words. He said he was scared, but I found that there were plenty of other people in other countries that had it worse. I even told him about this, but he replied,
"But they're stronger than me. They can look up, despite how scared they are. They can look at who hurts them. I can't."
I tried to be more aggressive in trying to get the kid to look up, saying that he wasn't facing anything dangerous or life-threatening. However, he replied by saying,
"I'm scared, because I don't want to see the people hurting me. I don't want to see someone hurt me for how I choose to live. I will always look down and never look up. I will never look at the people who attack me. Not even now."
We were both silent ever since. We stopped conversing, and we were silent every time we were on the same bus.
Eventually I would stop seeing him around completely. I always wondered if something changed in myself that day. Did he stop talking to me? Or was it the other way around? As I think about it now, a new question rises in my mind. Did he leave because he didn't want to see me? Or did I just stop seeing him because I didn't want to? I hope he's okay.
