"I'z da biggest an’ da hardest. Wot ya got, ya gits?"
Picsha:
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Git Name: Grimgor Ironhide
Years Foightin': Dunno. Old, fer an Ork. ((Only theory I've seen would place him at 2,500 years old, which is a stretch.))
Came From: The Old World of Warhammer Fantasy.
Humie Job: WAAAGH! Boss.
Faction: Unaffiliated. Occasionally garners Orcish followers. Usually unintentionally.
WAAAAGH stories:
Suddenly appearing out of the
Blasted Wastes one day missing one eye and followed by his Orcservant Immortulz (who would come to lead Grimgor's choice troops), Grimgor continued without rest or much in the way of sustenance taking tribe after tribe and making them his own. Tribes that impressed him were allowed to keep their own autonomy so long as they stayed out of his way (something most Orcs consider un-Orcy), but tribes too weak or Squig-headed to move aside were destroyed to the last. Grimgor's battle lust overcame his own Animosity rolls, and any day where no battle occurred Grimgor caused fights intentionally within his own forces leaving only his own personal Black Orc guard the only ones safe from being destroyed from boredom (although not on an individual basis).
As a result of this, Grimgor has never known more than two days without a battle occurring; his own men actually fear what would happen if it did come to pass. Any greenskin who heard of him came to believe he was the chosen prophet and champion of
Gork (or possibly
Mork), and within a short period of time tribes flocked to him to join his unofficial
WAAAGH.
Eventually running out of tribes of Orcs to test his mettle against, Grimgor made his way to fight the biggest challenge he knew of. The
Slayer Cult. The fucking Dwarfs who worship the idea of gloriously dying in battle and don't wear any armor to increase the probability of that happening. The Slayer Cult, after a few battles, sealed themselves in their kingdom of Karak Kadrin. That's right, the Dwarfs who live to die basically said "Fuck that, we're staying in here."
So after getting bored with this, Grimgor heard about
Kislev and how fucking badass the shirtless shoeless bear-riding humans that give
Chaosthe middle finger are, and said "DAT SOUNDZ LIKE A ROIGHT PROPPA PLACE FOR A LAND WAR!" and marched his army to Warhammer Russia. Grimgor and his army massacred the fuck out of them, using the dead as rations (the best they'd had until this point) and generally shrugged off the cold and massive Chaos Daemons that just kind of pop into being all around them.
Tzarina Katarin finally got involved and froze his entire army (other than the Immortulz) into Orcsicles, forcing him to go back to the Blasted Wastes and recruit more greenskins (which was fine, because he was bored anyway). Grimgor returned to fight the Dwarfs again, then took control of one of the original Strongholds that had never fallen. Plumbing the forgotten caverns where the Dwarfs had dug too deep, he encountered his kin, the
Night Goblins. He proceeded to massacre the fuck out of them and use THEM as rations, and going even deeper he encountered
Skaven. Skaven were a new foe; with numbers so high he rarely ran out of them to kill, with fucking impressive artillery that made battles more exciting, and finally they made the best rations he'd had so far. Grimgor was such a massive threat that three clans united against him, whose forces he wiped out nearly to the last. He eventually did what no foe had EVER done previously; he breached a Skaven city.
Despite this accomplishment, Grimgor was getting bored again. He then packed up his army and simply left, leaving the Skaven to retake the tunnels he had cleared out and gain a fortress with access to the surface world. He crossed the Worlds Edge Mountains, fought
Chaos Dwarfsand crossed their lands (which are so lava-filled they put Bowser's Castle to shame) and made war on the
Ogres in their own lands. Cutting a path directly through, he encountered a fucking MASSIVE force of
Chaos Mongols which had been heading to assault Kislev after Grimgor had weakened it so much previously. Grimgor was satisfied slaughtering them for some time, and did such massive damage to them that his name was spread by those who fled and made it home as a
Daemon Prince who
existed to slaughter Chaos.
After heading westwards towards populated lands looking for more things to kill, Grimgor's Shamans suddenly and inexplicably had begun exploding. He soon found out that the world was ending because Chaos was fucking with reality and
Archaon was lubing up to blow up the world with one thrust. Grimgor exclaimed "HOT DAMN, END OF DA WORLD YOU SAY?!?" and led his forces to the main event. He encountered the army of
Crom the Conqueror, and promptly slaughtered everyone he came across until Grimgor wound up in a duel with Crom himself who he saw as an almost equal since he had to put just as much effort into killing Grimgor's elite as Grimgor had Crom's (ie next to none). During the duel his entire army was defeated while neither Crom nor Grim could gain the upper hand and once Grimgor saw his troops fleeing he immediately disengaged from Crom and ran after them, shouting insults and waving his axe attempting to rally them. Crom immediately rushed his forces to support Archaon, and got him into the
Empire. Grimgor meanwhile had chased his army all the way back to the World's Edge Mountains before giving up.
Not wanting to miss out on the massive ass-kicking battle, Grimgor thought joined up with Archaon's forces with the intent to beat him at his height. To this end he went to Middenheim where Archaon had beaten
Valten in a duel and was giving a monologue before killing Valten and destroying the world. Grimgor immediately entered and won the duel against Archaon with a cheap shot and a headbutt, since Archaon didn't know Grimgor was going to betray him. In fact until he was knocked on his ass he didn't even know he was in a duel, and his army had the heart torn out of by the Greesnkins turning on everyone around them.
So just as Archaon was about to usher in an eternity of darkness and rule as King Chaos forever and all the usual Chaos shit, he hears a massive shout behind him.
"OI, WANKAH! YA FINK YA'RE 'ARD!?"
Archaon turned just in time to receive the most solid kick to the dick that any fantasy character has ever experienced in a LONG time. With Archaon laid low, Grimgor then did something very un-orc like. He punched Archaon into the ground, shouted "I IZ DA BEST!!!!!!" and left laughing back to the Worlds Edge Mountains to gather another army, and go back to fighting shit.
((Credit to 1d4chan))
Kanon: Warhammer Fantasy
