[OOC] Endurn: Heart of the Alauum

TheGreenerGrey said:
Acrobatics: Alathon is a master acrobat, capable of making jumps that even the most experienced Oddokai acrobats would blanch at with ease.

Bladed Staff Mastery: In order to survive the wild, Alathon has trained to use a bladed quaterstaff, with blades placed at either end of the staff. This staff doubles as both a weapon and fallbreaker, as he is capable of using it to save him from a bad fall or to leap through the air mid combat.
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So, he wouldn't be a master of anything. I don't allow masters because A: The char would have to be hundreds of years old, and because this is a roleplay. Anything that has no room for growth isn't built for a roleplay :) He can be experienced, but definitely not one of the best acrobats in the Odakkai clan, especially since there are folk in the clans that are 2,000 years old and have been leaping and rolling for a much longer time.
TheGreenerGrey said:
Strength: While it’s nothing to write home about, Alathon is ripped. He may not be able to knock over trees with a single punch, but to a regular elf, dhomharan or beast, he lashes with the force of a sack of bricks, bringing all but the toughest to the floor.
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This also doesn't make as much sense for an Oddakai, they're slender, lithe creatures, actually the weakest of all the races. They wouldn't have immense strength as is described here :)
TheGreenerGrey said:
Thus, he is weak in constitution and unable to take very many hits.
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This also directly contradicts claims that he has some immense strength, so I'd probably go through the whole CS and just make sure you're remaining consistent.




Now, the major overarching issue with the CS is that it's very imbalanced. You have 9 strengths with 3 weaknesses, two of which aren't very notable weaknesses. He's strong, fast, smart, perceptive, good at combat, a supposed master of acrobatics and staff wielding even as a young elf, and fearless, etc. And his only weakness is "can't handle pain well, a bit awkward, and rash." So right now, the character would be considered OP. You just need to take some time and make sure your character makes sense, and then spend some time balancing the character :)
 
So, this site isn't immune to notification bugs. But the recent posts list is a handy reminder...
Looks like we've got...

Male, (W) Dhomharan (Soul)
Female, Deep Sea Almiun (Soul)
Female, Varan (Sylvuin/Odakkai? I think) (White)
Female, Southern Sylvuin (Rain)
Male, Northern Sylvuin (Brucifer)
Male, (W) Dhomharan (Yoda)
Female, Moonborn? Odakkai (Mowkie)
Male, Varan (Sylvuin/Odakkai) (Celestial)
Male, Sunborn Odakkai (Greenergrey)
Female, Deep Sea Almiun (Pumpkin)

I like demographics :)

Looks like the males might outnumber the females this time! Why is this exciting to me??
 
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Soulserenity20 said:
I love the start, I'd just like a little bit more explanation for the 5 words you chose. It's great, just add more to it if you could!
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I am kind of confused as to what I need to add to the explanation of the 5 words? Could use some more info on what exactly you want to see.
 
Yoda said:
I am kind of confused as to what I need to add to the explanation of the 5 words? Could use some more info on what exactly you want to see.
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Yup! So the five words are an overview. The written personality paragraph section below it should go into detail. About each if the 5 words you chose, explaining why they're there, how those aspects of his personality developed, etc :) does that help?


@Pumpkin yes! Thank you! Male or female and shore or sea?!
 
I shouldn't have said anything. :(

This bio is going to be a while because I try-hard all my bios, so try to focus on other things. D:
 
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