Morph
Best Villain 2016*
SERVANT! Take my cloak--quickly now!--for I am about business and cannot be delayed!
Oh, hello. I didn't see you there. Actually I did, I was just ignoring you because you remind me of my dead wife. She was killed, you see, in a tragic raid by my enemy that took from me everything I ever loved.
Follow me to the garden.
I come here to brood and stare at the flowers she enjoyed so much. She enjoyed many things that could be considered innocent or caring, such as smiling and friendly conversation. She was the kind of person who remembered birthdays and spoke for hours about compassion unironically. The flowers are all dead, like my wife.
Her birthday is the only one I remember, and this is it. That's why we're here. The first order of business is always brooding in the garden. The second order of business is a lavish banquet at which I will get horrendously drunk and begin to weep. You will, of course, try your best to calm me down but-- on second thought, we shall skip the banquet.
To the bedchamber!
Normally, this is when I'd explain that you remind me of my wife, but I've already done that. What do you say we throw out the itinerary entirely and move directly to the seduction? We'll find our way to bed, but I'll get too rough and frighten you. You'll run away, dress torn, lip bleeding, arm bruised, and escape into the stormy night while I lament the terrible turns my life has taken.
Wait, where are you going?
No, this isn't the part where you run yet!
Ha! The joke's on you! It's not even raining! Your flight isn't nearly as dramatic as it could have been! You've only got yourself to blame for that!
...
What the hells do I do now?
Oh, hello. I didn't see you there. Actually I did, I was just ignoring you because you remind me of my dead wife. She was killed, you see, in a tragic raid by my enemy that took from me everything I ever loved.
Follow me to the garden.
I come here to brood and stare at the flowers she enjoyed so much. She enjoyed many things that could be considered innocent or caring, such as smiling and friendly conversation. She was the kind of person who remembered birthdays and spoke for hours about compassion unironically. The flowers are all dead, like my wife.
Her birthday is the only one I remember, and this is it. That's why we're here. The first order of business is always brooding in the garden. The second order of business is a lavish banquet at which I will get horrendously drunk and begin to weep. You will, of course, try your best to calm me down but-- on second thought, we shall skip the banquet.
To the bedchamber!
Normally, this is when I'd explain that you remind me of my wife, but I've already done that. What do you say we throw out the itinerary entirely and move directly to the seduction? We'll find our way to bed, but I'll get too rough and frighten you. You'll run away, dress torn, lip bleeding, arm bruised, and escape into the stormy night while I lament the terrible turns my life has taken.
Wait, where are you going?
No, this isn't the part where you run yet!
Ha! The joke's on you! It's not even raining! Your flight isn't nearly as dramatic as it could have been! You've only got yourself to blame for that!
...
What the hells do I do now?
