How Green Becomes Wood

"Oh, of course. I mean, you'll have to wear mine, Dark's would be huge on you both. I'll go get them." She left the table, equally as unwilling to properly engage in the budidng serious conversation, not yet.

"Well," Dark said, setting down breakfast in front of them. This time it was an egg sandwich on croissants, "eat first. Then go out and toil at will."

Daizi returned shortly after and dropped two pairs of gloves on the table, before reclaiming her seat. But she didn't stay there long, because then her phone rang, so she left the table again to answer it.
 
Alec hurried over and slid into his seat happily. "This smells delicious. Thank you!" He started eating quickly. The faster he ate, the faster he could get out into the snow!

Xander hung their jackets on the backs of their chairs and poked at the croissants suspiciously. "It doesn't look like it'll poison us, and the smell is reasonable," he said dryly. "Quite an admirable effort." He sprinkled on a little salt and started eating.

"You're jus' jealous you can' cook," Alec said around a mouthful of egg.

Xander snorted. "Haven't you seen any of those cooking shows? Only crazy men cook well."

Alec swallowed his last bite and pointed out, "That's only American television. That one British show, they were all actually nice to each other!"

"That's because the Brits are full of repressed rage and racist hate that's been balled up in a bitter little pit that then produces dry and black comedy," Xander said. "Don't forget your shoes. We'll go out the back."
 
"Well, I am not only an Arab, I am Iraqi, so I profoundly reject being compared to either country," Dark huffed, "and anyway, everyone needs to learn to cook at least one thing well." He took his seat at the table and began to eat his own breakfast, cautiously eyeing Daizi's, which we was sure was going to go cold before she returned.

Thankfully, he was in the process of telling the twins that where they could find the shovels and that when they came back inside they should just leave their shoes by the back door until they dried off, when Daizi came back into the room. If she normally breezed into a place, this time she gusted in, her eyes wide, "They want me to present at a conference," she whispered, because if she didn't, she would yell.

"Oh my god," Dark rose from his seat, and being fully aware of how huge this was for her, wrapped his arms around her tightly, "that is incredible, I am really proud of you. When is it? Where is it?"

"Not until October, I think they said the conference is Wednesday through Saturday, which is great because it gives me so much time to prepare, and Nova Scotia," She replied, and breaking away she allowed herself to breathe, "We're going to get so much funding from this," Daizi plopped down in her chair, and took a single bite of her food before setting it back down.

"And it will be great leverage with your boss," Dark replied, also sitting back down, repeating how proud he was of her. He didn't bother asking questions about flights or accommodations or if she would be paid--those details would be important later, not then.

After taking a few moments to breathe, she turned to the twins, "I'm sorry, snow, school, there's so much you both have to do and talk about, I don't mean to detract," She pushed her hair back, and turning to Dark said, not totally thinking clearly from her excitement, "and I don't even think there's a reason I wouldn't be able to go, even if they're still with us, I mean, it's not like they're babies. But hopefully it's over Fall break so you'd be able to come."
 
The twins froze like deer ready to run when Daizi came rushing in and whispering, expecting the worse. What happened next was not the worst, but it was confusing. Neither of them knew exactly what it meant to present at a conference, but from the way Dark and Daizi were acting, it must have been good! Alec smiled and nodded, trying to look vaguely supportive while he and Xander started bundling up to head outside.

"I don't even think there's a reason I wouldn't be able to go, even if they're still with us...hopefully it's over Fall break so you'd be able to come."

The twins both froze. Even if they were still with them? So they could come? They glanced at each other. Did Daizi really expect them to still be there all the way through summer into the next fall? Did she think they could go with them to Nova Scotia, wherever that was? They slipped out the back door, closed it quietly, and tromped out to get the shovels. All excitement for snowmen was gone.

"I mean, it's probably the excitement talking," Alec commented to Xander. "That's all."

"Right," Xander agreed. He kicked a mound of snow. "We need to get out of their hair. We were supposed to have been gone by now."

"Where are we going to go?" Alec asked.

Xander didn't say anything as he grabbed the snow shovel and moved to start shoveling. "Have you used that card they gave you yet?" he asked.

Alec shook his head. "No, not yet."

"Good. Me neither. We can sell them and use them for bus fair or something. There's an abandoned house on the other side of town, and if we can get some blankets, maybe a tarp, it'll be fine until summer."

"Okay," Alec agreed softly. He glanced back toward the house. "I rather wish we didn't have to go. It's been nice here."

Xander huffed and started slinging snow. "All good things come to an end. We should leave before school starts. I don't think we can go back."

Alec said nothing as he started to help. If he was honest with himself, he knew he always expected to eventually be kicked out and moved along, but he'd also hopped deep, deep down that maybe, just maybe, the quiet days of being snowed in would never end.
 
After the twins went outside, and their excitement over Daizi's career settled down, they realized they needed to talk about what they were going to do with the Alec and Xander.

"I think you scared them when you talked about the Fall," Dark sighed, the mood turning again somber, "and them still being here."

"I know... I didn't mean to, I wasn't thinking... Or, I don't know, maybe I was. It's just been nice having them here, even though Xander can be a monster--he's just like you were, you know." She pulled her legs up onto her chair.

"No, he is not like I was." Dark argued.

"He is," She replied, "it's nostalgic. But, you know, I just... These three weeks, it's been nice, hasn't it? We've been able to pretend like we're parents. I've been told for so many years that I could never be a parent. My eyes don't work, so the government says I'm unfit. And my..." She sighed, and Dark reached out and held her hand tightly. She swallowed.

Dark spoke in a whisper, rubbing the back of her hand with her thumb, "It has been nice. I know. I know."

"And, what, then they're just going to run away? What am I supposed to plant for that?"

"Spider..." Dark inched closer to her, "What do you want us to do?"

"I don't know, why can't we offer to foster them? Officially, so they're safe and protected but don't have to risk the system. That's why they didn't want you to report them right?" She turned towards him and held both of his hands, "It's only four years--only two if they try to sue for emancipation when they're sixteen. Because I've been thinking about what else we could do that would actually help them and..." She shrugged her shoulders, feeling frustrated by the world and their situation, "I don't know."

Dark inhaled sharply, and he was silent for a long time, until at last he said, "We can offer it to them, at least, and see if they are at all receptive to it."
 
The twins took their time outside despite the cold seeping slowly into their bones. They worked together to shovel a walkway from the house to the shed, making it a little wider than strictly necessary. Alec left Xander to finish up and started making a snowman. Eventually, a lot of snow later, they ended up with four rather messy snowmen, each about four feet high and four feet wide. Xander even made one of them a little snow hat and tried to make one anatomically correct and facing the neighbors, but Alec refused to allow that.

Finally, they could stall no longer. They headed back to the house, stomping the snow off their feet and shaking off their cold limbs. They left the shoes outside to dry as Dark had told them. Alec pulled off his puff-balled hat, leaving his hair standing up like he'd stuck his finger in a light socket.

"Well, I guess we should get cleaned up," Xander said slowly. "Might be a good idea to pack." Actually, neither of them had fully unpacked from their backpacks ever.
 
During all the time Alec and Xander were shoveling the snow, Dark and Daizi spoke seriously about what actually fostering the twins would mean for themselves, the twins, and all four of their lives. Ultimately, when the two teens came inside from shoveling, the atmosphere in the house was tense and heavy.

Dark, awkwardly, handed them both fifty dollars when they came inside, "It took a long time," he said quietly, "it must have taken a lot of work, so... I figured it would be cruel to pay you so little."

Xander talking about packing only made the married couple more tense and quiet, and after the moment landed, Daizi said, "sit down and talk with us first... because I think I know what you're packing for, and I think it's a bad idea," She really wished they had more time to bring up this option to them, but seeing as they apparently didn't, they needed to share their plan first.

Dark got a glass of water, because his mouth went dry right before he began to speak, and after taking a sip, he said, "You said the reason why you did not want me to report your... situation, is because foster care is too much of a risk, which is fair, you never know who you want to end up with, and there are plenty of fosterparents who abuse the kids they take in, but..." He rubbed his face, and as he was trying to express how he wanted to phrase it., Daizi spoke up.

"I can't have kids. I mean, it's a little more complicated than that, but that's the essence of it. So we decided, Dark and myself, after learning that my body is damaged in yet another way, decided we would try to adopt. Which also, obviously, never happened. Our lawyer said it is unlikely any judge would trust as parents over more normative couples, and that the only way we'd be trusted is if some kid specifically wanted us." She swallowed, and had her arms wrapped around herself. For the first time in three weeks, she looked small, like she was trying to shrink away, and it was easy to tell she was uncomfortable having to describe these experiences, and mustering up all of her courage, she said, "we've given up on ever being parents, we know how that story ends but... we're still registered. We're still legally able to foster. And we were talking..."

"In two years, or two and a half years, I do not know when your birthday is," Dark explained, "you will be sixteen, and then you are both able to sue for emancipation, and... God," He never expected to be having this conversation, and he was attempting to mentally prepare for being yelled at, "Tarot and myself were talking, and we decided that if you are okay with it, we would be willing to legally foster you, and then, when you turn sixteen, help you to sue for emancipation. Then you could be rid of us, but you would also be able to find employment, and legally acquire adequate housing, and actually have lives coming from a stable place, rather than attempting to scrounge one up from asphalt. It is the only thing we have been able to find that does not throw you both to the wolves, but also does not condemn you to the roll of a dice."

"At least think about it," Daizi murmured.
 
Alec and Xander sat side by side, listening quietly as Dark and Daizi spoke. Alec hunched down, not looking at either of them. Daizi's vulnerability seemed to make him feel vulnerable, too, as he shrank in on himself, nearly matching her. Xander sat straight, looking them in the face as each spoke, his expression unreadable as he listened. Down under the table lip, their hands clasped tightly together. Whatever they did, they'd do it together, no matter what.

"What do you get out of it if we agree to stay?" he finally asked, his tone level. "The government pays you like child support or something, right? And what do you expect from us? If we stay." He wasn't accusing them, but he wanted all cards on the table. Who expected what? Who got what?
 
"It may shock you to learn," Dark replied, glancing around at his home, "we are not exactly struggling financially, so I can assure you,we are not looking to make easy money off you both. And if you stay, we would probably give you actual chores, that you do consistently. And I would expect you," he looked at Xander, "to at least try to stay out of detention so I can get home on time more regularly... Although if I am your legal guardian it might be a conflict of interest for me to watch over detention, so... We can come back to that point." Hopefully the slight joke would lighten the mood, at least a bit.

"Honestly," Daizi said softly, with all of her usual grandness lost, "I would just really like to not have more children wither away. But, I suppose, phone calls, in two years when you're free of us at last." In her private mind, she hoped that perhaps fostering them would convince a judge to let them have an actual child who needed parents to raise them, rather than two teens just needing to make it the final stretch of the way, but she wasn't able to voice it, because she knew, ultimately, it would never happen.
 
"Okay, that sounds reasonable," Xander said slowly, still not allowing himself to fully accept the idea. "Except the detention thing. We'll see. I can't make any promises on that front. What kind of chores are you thinking of? I can't cook, and neither of us can dust tall things. Not tall enough."
 
"Well, I suppose you could take out the trash, or do the dishes, although you may not be able to reach the highest shelves in the cabinet... You could vacuum... we would figure that out. And it is not like we would make you do everything, we both know what happens at the end of the real Cinderella." Dark replied, trying to think up whatever chore he knew they were able to do.

"Birds can pluck out my eyes," Daizi murmured, "I'm not using them." She cracked a sly smile, trying to move past the emotions she had stirred up in herself, and she was glad they at least didn't seem unreceptive to the notion of staying with them.

Trying to think of other ways their arrangement would be beneficial, Dark said, "And, I think the school board has rules against letting students have their parent or guardian as their teacher, so, you both would be certain you would have one of the easier history teachers... but another thing I would ask, if we do this, is that you do not... share my personal life with the rest of the school. I put a lot of effort into setting up those boundaries."
 
Xander glanced at Alec. "What do you think?"

Alec hesitated, fiddling with his jacket sleeve with one hand. "It would be a decent trade-off, I think," he said slowly. "We would be less permanent than real children, so they could treat us like a trial run for a few years. On the other hand, we need a place to stay and stay together. We can do chores, that's not so hard, really, so it would be a reasonable trade."

Xander shrugged. "I think he's right about that. For your privacy, why the hell would we say anything? It ain't none of anyone else's business what we do, who we're with, or what they do. So, I guess... yeah, we're up for this." He stood and offered Dark his hand to shake.
 
Good god, it was actually happening. They actually agreed. To an extent, it was a relief, because it meant they were no longer attempting to convince two young teens not to throw their lives away, but it also meant they were accepting a massive life change, and all the responsiblities that came with it, which was terrifying in the best of times. Dark knew it felt like the right choice, but that didn't change the fact they made this decision in under a month. Still... Dark shook Xander's hand, and said, "I will call our lawyer, then."

"I suppose since it's all decided, and I called in sick to work so we could have this talk," She had to, after, in the middle of their conversation about how to handle everything, they realized not only had she missed her train, they, obviously, had not so much had gotten dressed to drive to the train station, "I think I might go and lie back down, it's been an awful lot to go through, and it's not even noon." Hearing this, Dark very softly asked her a question, in their private way, although it did somewhat occur to him that if Xander and Alec would continue living with them for at least two years, they would fairly quickly come to recognize that particulary Arabic phrase to mean simply, are you okay? But, it was doubtful they were there with, and she nodded to affirm that she was.

She just needed space to process, because, how is anyone supposed to react after agreeing to foster some kids plucked off the street? "But you know," Daizi added, "I don't imagine it'll feel any different when the paperwork is signed than it did yesterday."
 
"I think I'm going to go to my room, too, if I may be excused?" Alec asked. It was more of a redundant question as he slipped off his chair and hurried out. He needed some time of his own, too. They had a place to stay! Relief folded in, washing away an old fear, but right on its heels came a new fear. He didn't have a name for this fear, but it stuck in the pit of his stomach. He wanted to retreat, maybe into a book or a song. Something to distract him from the nameless dark.

Xander eyed Dark suspiciously. "How come you talk in that terror language to her? Is it something you like to hide?"
 
"Do not call it a 'terror language,' our people are maligned enough," He replied, "and I suppose I did want to hide it, but only because I was asking her if she was okay, but I did not wish to put her on display if she was not. We still speak it to each other because it is both of our first languages, and it is, for that reason, easier for us to communicate in it. I did not begin learning English until I came to this country at fourteen years old, I still think and dream in Arabic. Language is important, it keeps you connected to where you are from."

In the meanwhile, Daizi stood briefly in the hall, silently holding the small urn, before setting it down and drifting upstairs to her bedroom.
 
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Xander shrugged and went to move their coats from where they'd left them by the back door. "I don't mean no offense, it's just what others call it. Far as I'm concerned, there's probably more American terrorists than your type. They just don't call them that. If you like talking like that, you should do it, but it does kind of call more attention then if you just whispered it."

He started to carry the coats to the front closet then paused and looked back. "I'm not callin' you 'Pop,' alright, Professor?"
 
"I came to the United States in 2005 unable to speak English, I believe I have heard enough fourteen year-olds refer to 'my type' of terrorists to last a lifetime," He said flatly, and then, after a beat, said, "if I had just whispered it, and it was overheard, people would know what I was asking... And, it is nice, when you are upset, to encounter something which feels like home."

He ran a hand through his hair and began putting the dishes from breakfast in the dishwasher, and emphatically said, "It would be an absolute nightmare if you did, so I have no qualms there."
 
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"If you say so, I'll just have to take your word for it. I don't know what would make me feel like home," Xander said offhandedly, already thinking of other things as he hung up the coats.

He finished that task and turned back to Dark. "Daizi seems kind of kid-focused. She's not going to go all obsessive over us, right? I mean, she doesn't seem the type, but I'm not used to the motherly type. I figure there's an adjustment period and all-that, but she's not going to expect us to suddenly be her sweet little tots, right?"
 
"She has been through a lot, trying to become a parent. We both have, but biology dictates she goes through it more intimately than I do," His mind flashed back to the time he awoke in their bloodied bed, and to those hours in the hospital, and how she had wailed, "but no, no, she is not going to start trying to turn you into her children. When we were discussing this, she was firm on that, although you may not believe me when I say so. It is only that we both knew that if you and your brother left here, no good would come of it, and she fixates on that loss. It would not be her fault, but she would blame herself so..." He leaned against the counters with his arms crossed. He didn't have some strong, highly evident facial expression, by any means, yet somehow the pain he felt for his wife was clear, "it has only dredged up much of the old trauma of loss. It was her idea to help you both only to emancipation, so you do not have anything to worry about. I would not even call her a 'motherly' type: yes, she wants to be a mother, but she does not wish to be everybody's mother, do you understand?"
 
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"Sure, makes sense. She should get over the idea that it's always her fault. It's damned exhausting carrying every problem you come across," Xander said. "Easier said, I know, but somebody's gotta say it for it to be done, right."

He stood awkwardly in the hallway with Dark. "So. Now what? Drinks all around?" he asked dryly.
 
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