Side Story The Grand Hotel

[Glostechk]

^The music^
"You don't know where cheese comes from?" The Doctor cried, completely dumbfounded by his companion's statement "But...But it's cheese! What's there to know? Everyone knows where cheese comes from!!" It was at that point the Doctor realised that Sal probably didn't come across cheese to often, you know, being a Shark and all, so he decided it would probably be wise to let him off the hook this one time. Removing his arm from around his friend, he began to form an explanation. "You see, you get some milk, and then you...." Wow, this was harder than he thought..."You know what? I think we're in need of a practical demonstration! Watch and learn"

He reached into his jacket, removing a short baby bottle filled to the brim with fat-free milk. Removing the cap, he placed it under Sal's nose. "Observe..."

Reattaching he lid, the Doctor of Cheese Making began to shake the bottle like a mad man. Juggling it from hand to hand like a court jester, doing keepie uppies with it, incorporating it into the Drunk Giraffe and even playing "spin the bottle with it", it was clear to see that he was enjoying the task far too much. He continued this cycle for around about a minute before throwing the bottle into the air and catching it inside his fez.

The next part of the process resulted in the TimeLord removing something strange from his coat. It appeared to be a vial filled with...was that grounded up walnut? Pouring it into the bottle alongside the shaken milk, he continued the juggling and shaking for several more minutes.

Returning his Fez to his head, he once again open the bottle, this time adding in something akin to....a clove of lavender?

Shaking it one final time, he pored out the contents of the bottle onto his friends fins
"There you go! The finest cheese you've ever tasted is right here! Go on! Try it! Try it!"
And he was, of course, correct. The cheese was perfect in both form and taste; that's what 850+ years of practice does for you!

 

[Glostechk]

"Haha, but I've never heard of it," the shark admitted rather cheerfully. "You humans have a lot of strange food~" Sal added, smiling. His smile faded at the realization that he was going to demonstrate, watching the man reach for a plastic bottle from within his coat filled with a white liquid. His eyes twitched a little at the smell of milk. He knew what it was, but Sal was never the one to drink it. The shark's cheery and smiling face slowly faded to a blank slate, floating beside Wadanohara and her three friends while he watched the Doctor begin to shake the bottle of milk, juggling it and dancing with it with judging eyes. Hanging around this man was a hazard after all. Wherever this person was from, Sal was going to make a mental note not to visit. He watched with silent terror, wondering what sort of odd concoction he was going to make with milk, nuts and lavender.

He watched as the sloppy mess was dumped onto his fins, most of it dripping onto the floor. He had caught quite an amount of it, and Sal wasn't sure if he was going to enjoy this cheese. Tentatively, he popped the tip of his fin into his mouth, taking in the weird substance. He was met with food with a strange texture and taste. It reminded him of milk, yet it was not milk. And there was a very flowery scent in it for some reason - it must have been the lavender. Holding back the instinct to choke it out, he swallowed it bravely. "I -It's not too bad..." Sal murmured.

An idea suddenly flashed in his head. Surely Samekichi would appreciate this as a gift, right? He could get Wadanohara to help feed him. With his lack of reactions lately, he had become boring. Oh, but he loved to see his suffering face. Feeding him strange-tasting foreign food. Sal was ecstatic. "It's good! May I take some home?"​

 

[Glostechk]

"...?" The sea witch looked on with a blank expression as the 'Doctor' wrapped himself around Sal, blinking slightly and wondering why she suddenly felt the urge to murder something, before the feeling was overwhelmed by blatant amusement. She watched the Doctor literally force on the befuddled shark the 'joys of cheesemaking', and without a comment the little witch drew back from touching the shark. Wadanohaa let go of holding on to the anchor staff, balancing on it and watching Sal suffer through 'human oddities' with a smile. "Ah~ It looks like you're getting overwhelmed there, Sal? Maybe it's you who has limits." The girl threw his words earlier back in his face, the smile never leaving her face.

She looked up at the brilliant ceiling, looking at the blinking lights and tapped her chin. "Oh, I left Captain-Commander to his own devices. He didn't say I had to maintain it after he had gotten past them, after all." As it was, she was just waiting for the invisibility cloaking Kieran to fall apart the moment he got past those exploding penguins (she still wanted one). "For now, I want to be with you," she finished sweetly, cocking her head and looking down at him from her perch. I want to see you sweat through this. "After all, you seem to get along splendidly with the Doctor."

She eyed the goopy mixture that left a mess on Sal's fins with curiosity, giggling as she saw him choke it down. Clapping, Wadanohara rewarded the shark with a radiant smile. Never let it be said she didn't reward him when he was being such a good source of entertainment for her, after all. "That was really brave of you!" She knew the wicked look in his eyes the moment it appeared, having seen something similar in hers. They both knew each other well enough to know when the other was planning the suffering of someone else. "For Samekichi? He has been boring lately, he hasn't even been responding when I kiss him. Maybe this will help, good idea."​

 

[Glostechk]

"You're right. Humans do have some strange foods! I mean who looks at a cow and thinks...well, let's not get into that. Luckily for us both I'm not exactly human. I mean, I look human enough, but I'm actually part of an alien species known as the TimeLords. Well, to be entirely honest, from my perspective, you guys are all the Aliens!" He let out a short chuckle, only to be greeted with a cold blank stare from Sal. He must have been confusing the old fish; either than or he was common off as a madman... But that would never happen, right? "But let's not talk about my species, shall we? Boring people. Silly hats. All in a parallel universe now, nothing to worry about"

After watching the Shark try his cheese for the first time, he could see the creature's mood shift almost instantly. It was only what he expected, of course; it was a pretty good batch of cheese, if he did say so himself.
"Of course, of course you can bring some home! I'll get some out the Tardis later; we don't exactly want it going bad before the party's over, now do we?"​

 

[Glostechk]

If one had asked Sal what an alien was a few years ago, the shark would have had no idea. It was thanks to his travels, some of them out of his very universe under the sea and the dripping moon, that he could study different creatures. He knew aliens were creatures from space. Sal had once had a time where he couldn't fathom a place even larger than the ocean in the sky. Though this Time Lord business, he had no idea what they were whatsoever. The Doctor's guise was even more realistic than his own. "Silly hats?" he repeated, clearly confused. He would need to look into this after, when he had the chance. "Tardis...?" What were these strange terms. "What is that?"

The shark peered at Wadanohara before his red eyes narrowed with mischievousness. Knowing the witch, she liked takoyaki, not this cheese. "She would absolutely love to try some~" Sal grinned at the man. "Right, Wadda dear~?"

"Is it because our love for each other is as deep as the sea?" Sal joked, winking at the witch. After the fiasco with the Blue Sea, they had certainly become much closer. Even more close than the relationship she had with Samekichi. Ah, but he deserved it after all. Now he was a stupid shark. "Oh, yes. The Doctor is a very interesting man~" he commented about his new acquaintance. Meeting weird people was a part of his job, whether he liked it or not. "Now, try some of this cheese, Wadda. It's really good!"​

 

[Glostechk]

"Eh? You were never poetic, Sal," the witch brushed off the joking, but blatantly obvious prod from Sal with the ease of someone who had to deal with it for so long. She merely smiled and arched an eyebrow at him casually, before her eyes narrowed as she remembered him speaking for her. The narrowing of her eyes lasted only for a split-second before she was back to smiling calmly back at Sal and the Doctor. "Do you want me to slap you later, Sal?" She asked him telepathically, her voice still cheerful. "Oh, but it's already all over your fins, Sal. Where ever should I get this cheese?"

She stared the mess of the cheese on the floor with a blank expression, then back at Sal. It was clear that he was trying to get his own bit of mischief in, and it made her smile. Even if he tried to divert the Doctor's attention from himself, he was still going to be the one catching his notice as a floating white salmon shark.​

 

[Glostechk]

"First of all..." She'd give him a chilly glare. "This is my first drink so on top of being a demon means it's very hard to get drunk, and secondly, I have higher standards than you, boy." While she cared for humanities plight it didn't mean she'd fraternize with every human, especially not bad apples like Ghostface. "Though if anything I could always take you home and see my father."She replied with a smirk.

"I guess she would've had a problem filling it out." Morrigan replied loud enough for Rita to hear. As she walked off that would leave Morrigan with Saitama and some little girl she didn't know or really care to know. "But...it doesn't really fit the scene, does it?"

Suddenly the outfit on her body would spring to life as bats flied around her before enveloping her. After awhile they'd calm down and they could see Morrigan in a new outfit.

"Much better. So..."​

She'd turn to face Saitama. "Would you care for some company? Or is there a Mrs Baldy in your life?"

 

[Glostechk]

"Even if I say no, you'd still slap me~" he replied back mentally, his eyes blinked red for a few seconds as he turned to look at her, his smile widening to a grin at Wadanohara's usual behaviour. With his back turned to the Doctor, he wouldn't be able to see his expression, one that matched the one she had on for him. Sal had to admit he liked letting her push him around, as a sadomasochist. But he in turn didn't mind messing with the once innocent girl's mind. After all, he loved to see her expressions, whatever they were. It was delicious.

Sal turned back to the Doctor with his usual, all-smiles expression. "Do you have any more cheese on you~?" he asked him politely. "We can't have dear Wadanohara eating off the floor~ Oh, unless you want to have if off my fins?" he blinked at the witch with a coy smile. "Sharing is caring~"​

 

[Glostechk]

~Chromatic DeSPIESing~​

Nyanta was having a most joyous time at the view that was being given to him. Most specifically, the dancing act being done by a zombie and a couple of others in the Ballroom...very much compelling, and Nyanta was one to like dancing, perhaps he would join this guy in doing whatever weird magic he's doing with his feet and hips, as the Prinny servant 'Leroy' didn't seem to be doing much, much less answering his questions, do they just stay there and stare at your soul with those, big, glossy penguin eyes of theirs. Nonetheless very cute, but with a tinge of creepy...

Speaking of which, it seemed that he was also spotted by this one guy across the room a ways near the bar, he seemed to be looking at Nyanta and sizing him up before giving Nyanta several displeasing looks before getting back to the bar for (what he hopes)is a nice, intoxicating drink. The guy had a frightening appearance, a shiny bald head, and a shiny, glossy, metallic skull with seemingly no eyes, and all this technology sticking out of him, such as a camera and these guns, perhaps they are laser guns? That would be interesting, especially to own one of those, nyaa! He thought.

But still, this weird, yet cool skull guy made it quite obvious that he didn't like Nyanta. It was a bit upsetting, and it made him get out of his seat, as sitting around with Leroy is not doing much, and this looks like the only conversation he may and will get for the time being. So he got up, brushed his face, placed his hat on, and walked right by the ShinySkullMan, lightly tapping the back of his shiny bald head before striding over to The strange dancing white-suited man.

He tapped him in a means to say I see what you did there.​

 

[Glostechk]

Almost instantly, the group seemed to notice Morrighan's subtle glance. At once, the drunken woman turned and began to hoot and holler obscenely in Morrighan's direction. Her companion, who held up a cell phone in her direction to communicate, asked why she simply watched and did not partake. Morrighan stood complacent for only a moment, deciding that there wasn't much else to do. After all, Morrighan could not refuse an invitation, however crude it may have been.

​

Using her ability to teleport, Morrighan moved instantly to stand near the group, taking the last few steps that seemed nothing like steps. Rather, it appeared as those the goddess were gliding, suspended to some invisible silken threads secured to the ceiling. However, what may have appeared even stranger to any onlookers was the fact that she did this without ever once opening her eyes. They remained closed, and the expression of tranquility and sleep seemed to have been forever impressed upon her features.​

​

"Greetings, everyone," Morrighan said, her voice a musical and clear bell. Her demeanor was that of the babbling brook, quiet and graceful, as she stood reservedly, almost shy. And, although her eyes were shut, she had other ways of examining closely each individual in the group. She took a small breath before saying, "I am known by many names, but you may call me Morrighan. What of you?"​

 

[Glostechk]

"Oh, now look what you've done. You've made her gone all pouty. You shut her up, got her ensnared in chains. I just want to ask her for a favor, it's not a dreadful deal by any means. Honest--"

He would have replied to the silly git in the rainbow clown suit(preferably by telling him to get lost and hopefully it would work this time)...had he not be so enamored by the following conversation, gaze drifting back and forth as each chimed in on their back and forth. "You see, Neo, that is how a proper conversation should go." Kilgrave murmured under his breath. While the golden Gilgamesh and the Rainbow Doctor were distracted arguing back and forth, he just slid in closer to the captive Ryan, intending to whisper into her ear the command that as soon as she was free, she was now a makeshift bartender and it was her duty to see that the ice cream themed Neo was never to be without a drink in her hand. Drinks on the house.​

 

[Glostechk]

"Okay. Those are all very well made points. I..Should probably be more bothered by the demon part. But, eh I'm not picky. Equal opportunities and all that. Seriously though! You don't find anything endearing about little ol me? Could have sworn my humor might have enamored you at this point. Or make you want to put your head through the nearest wall. " Mickey held up his hands and shook his head from side to side.

"It's okay though! Because I'll keep trying and trying. To reach the standards you've set-Wait, seriously? I mean I think that's taking a things bit fast, even for me and I...Heeeeeey, I see what you meant by that."

He'd say while wagging a finger at Jez. It didn't exactly take a rocket scientist to put two and two together as far as Mickey was concerned. Red skin, horns, the whole being a demon thing. She was totally the daughter of Satan. Or whatever counted for Satan in her universe he guessed. But he did have to admit that out of the threats that been thrown his way such as having campus security called on him, beaten up by someone's boyfriend, being dragged down to Hell to meet the Devil himself was a new one! Not that he didn't deserve it. But being sentenced to eternal damnation was something he'd like to put off for just a while longer.

"I think I'll pass. But thanks for the offer anyhow."

ChromeSkull liked to think a lot of things about himself. That he was successful which in financial terms one could agree. Running an underground organization of serial killers that possibly has subsidiaries all over the globe was hard work. But it helped rake in the cash and let ChromeSkull get nifty things like his bulletproof jacket and his expensive video camera. He also liked to believe that he was one of the best killers out there which given he was the leader of aforementioned organization also probably had it's merits.

But something about the tranquil expression on this woman's face enticed the murderer. She looked like she was at peace with herself and unaware of the surroundings holding some despicable characters like Kilgrave, Ghostface, and even himself. He idly wondered if she'd keep such a look if he were to place his hands around her neck and to squeeze until she was left gasping for any last chances at air.

But before he could think any further, she had already approached him and Coraline. Finishing off what was left of his drink, ChromeSkull fixed his mask back onto his face and nodded towards the goddess.

I'M IN A SIMILAR VEIN AS YOU. PEOPLE KNOW ME BY TOO MANY TITLES TO KEEP TRACK OF. BUT YOU CAN CALL ME 'CHROMESKULL' IF IT'LL SUIT YOU.


Also as the cat-man tapped the back of his head, the camera turned to look upon him. It was at that moment that ChromeSkull came to a conclusion. If Ghostface and him had to murder anybody here. Besides Kido for getting away from the two of them and spilling more acid on ChromeSkull's face of course, it'd be that cat..Thing. Abomination like that didn't deserve the life it had in the serial killer's opinion.​

 

[Glostechk]

This conversation was on a train to absolutely nowhere, and it was moving fast. If it were Reece or Ridley in her shoes, it was likely that she very well would've been getting annoyed or frustrated with Gilgamesh right now. But the young woman had a sense of patience and a level head that both of her sisters lacked. Heck, she didn't even seem fazed by how angry Gilgamesh was getting, and her typical calm expression remained.

With the chains wrapping around her ankles as well, at least the young woman wasn't tiring. However, that did not solve the issue of the discussion between herself and Gilgamesh. "Gilgamesh, you heard him. He said there will be no tricks about this favor," she replied, calmly. Sheesh, looked like she hadn't lost her faith in people, even through all of those years. "Unless he goes against that word, I--"

Before she could finish, another man bad joined into the fray, wasting no time in starting to talk to Kilgrave. Ryan, or Aurelia, was unbothered by this - after all, her level of patience was practically unmatched. On the other hand, though, she wasn't exactly pleased with the whole of the conversation that followed. Yet, still, the female remained silent. At least, until a pause was finally taken between the bickering of the two. She didn't want to interrupt, after all.

Now, though, she finally spoke up. "I'm not the little girl you used to know anymore, Gilgamesh," the Caster finally spoke, a serious expression on her pale face. "As for Arthur..." Briefly, Aurelia didn't know what to say. She still recalled Arthur's death as vividly as she had seen it the day it happened. She remembered trying so desperately to heal her, to help Lon'qu, Ryner, and the others save her... And failing.

"...I don't think speaking of her in such a way is necessary."

With that out in the air, Ryan pinched the bridge of her nose, less than pleased with the argument being had. She wasn't annoyed, by any means - but she hated seeing people insult each other. Especially friends of hers. "Is the name-calling and flooding of insults really necessary?" she asked, almost tiredly. "Because personally, I think it's quite uncalled for.." Man, why couldn't everyone just be friends with everyone like Ryan was?

Oh. Right. Kilgrave and his favor.. Glancing away from the Doctor and Gilgamesh, the Thaumaturge just mustered a weak smile. "Ah, what was that favor you wanted?"

It was Kilgrave's lucky day, because Ryan would probably one of the easiest people to manipulate ever. He could probably just ask and she'd carry just about anything out - even being some clueless bartender.

Bottoms up, Neo.... Bottoms up​

 

[Glostechk]

Neo idly continued to enjoy her ice cream, as if she were unaware of the whole plan revolving on her drinking.​

 

[Glostechk]

Once Morrighan started to near, Coraline got a better view of the woman, jotting down mental notes and making quick connections. She looked just like an angel out of the stories. Except for the black wings, but...there's only so much truth to stories, after all. Nevertheless, she was captivated.

Coraline offered her a smile, and a bottle of wine, but made sure to cork the thing again before passing it off.

"Ooh, 'Morrighan'...beautiful name." she commented with a wink, "Just call me Blue; everyone calls me Blue."​

 

[Glostechk]

And it seemed Gilgamesh's ego let him get distracted just long enough for Kilgrave to slip in... Not realizing he already whispered the command though Gilgamesh was quick to try to chase him off, re-summoning the gates to try to force Kilgrave to step back as he shouted "Hmph! Nice try but it's not that easy!". However, his actions suddenly paused even if only for a split second when Ryan highlighted she was no longer a little girl... That was true, though admittedly, he'd probably be behaving in a similar manner if this was Reece.

Regardless when Ryan started going on about arthur he handed waved it away, regretting that he allowed that side track to begin with as he said "Forget about her now! She isn't here! And if you're not a little girl then act like it Ryan! Don't just expect everyone has good intentions!".​

 

[Glostechk]

"So you've convinced me." Kilgrave remarked, holding his hands up and gesturing for peace. "Come now, as I've been saying all along. This is a party. Let's not tarnish it with a crude fight. I will depart. Have a pleasant evening and please try to relax." He backed up, heading for where Anya was currently drying his jacket.​

 

[Glostechk]

"Well it made me want to put someone's head through a wall." She remarked and the look she gave him left no illusions to who she meant. "Right now I'm tagging with you because at least your big friend is quiet even if he's not going to win any beauty pageants any time soon."

She shoved her glass in his face. "And when I've drank this up I'm going to find Morrigan and see what other sap she's managed to wrap around her finger."

 

[Glostechk]

And the first performance was done. Sweet standing in classic Micheal Jackson pose, arms outstretched over his head. His Ghostface-dressed minions having at this point, managed to end the number as they carried Mickey over their heads like some major Broadway number.

By his side, Yomi laughed as she wiped away a bit of sweat and moved through the crowd, tossing the mic over her shoulder for Sweet to catch. She made her way, directly for Melodia, opting to embrace briefly before pulling back with a wide smile.

"Happy Birthday! Thanks for inviting me!"

Where Sweet was located, he'd pause briefly from his dancing to regard the cat-headed figure approaching him. One eyebrow cocked at the unusual appearance before smirking. And when he spoke, it was in a voice of liquid smoke, invoking images of Jazz-filled nights and heavy temptation.

"Now what have we here? Digging the 'Cat Returns' look, its got style- Its unique."

His minions on the other hand, a space cleared would put Mickey down as they began to snap their fingers and circle, another musical number playing as they began to sing and spin. Feet tapping, arms flying as once more, the music inspired as Sweet gave the little bit of edge for people to cut loose if they wanted.

Cue eighties music montage.

♪ Oh Mickey, you so fine! You so fine you blow our minds, hey Mickey! Hey-hey, hey-Mickey!♫

And to the tune of 'Hey Mickey!', came the Ghostface-dressed minions renditions as they all posed briefly like cheerleaders and the lead Ghostface sang- In a voice that was distinctly female.


♪You've been around all night and that's a little long!♫

♪Stabbing all the teeny-boppers, before I finish this song!♫

♪Oh, can't you say goodnight so you can stab me too, Mickey?♫

♪Oh, Mickey, what a pity you don't understand♫

♪You stab me in the heart and you stab me in the hand♫

♪Oh, Mickey, you're so pretty, can't you understand?♫

♪It's guys like you, Mickey!♫

♪And what you do, Mickey, do, Mickey!♫

♪Don't break my heart, Mickey!♫​

 

[Glostechk]

THE REALITY OF A BROKEN MAN...
PROLOGUE: THE PAINFUL LIFE AND THE JOYFUL DEATH

---

​

Trudge. Trudge. Trudge.​

​

Thud...​

His legs gave out.

It never ended. The walking. The fighting. The pain.

It was like clockwork. The life of Brad Armstrong had amassed less hours in total with a full head of hair than it had moving in one direction, locked to one set of tracks with no splitters. A cycle of violence, guilt, and protection, looping over and over again for eternity, one leading to the other leading to the other which led back to the first. Sometimes, he thought it could be different - he tried to change things. To turn it around... To be a good man.

But there were no good men left.

Now... the best he could hope for...

"..."

... Was to be a different shade of bad than the rest.

Brad took some JOY!

It was better than suffering.

Over the span of a long, weightless few moments, the aging man's reality shifted. His heart went from hammering the beat of furious war drums to pulsing a slow, steady rhythm. The beads of sweat dotting his bald crown ceased forming, his nerves numbed. The ravenous pain, that tight, needy knot at the center of his chest that clawed and burned whenever he went Joyless for too long, finally subsided. He had fed his addiction... For now. But in that moment, it gave him the strength he needed to keep going. To keep fighting. For her. Joy made you feel nothing, but no amount of it could blot out his feelings for the one he sought, the light at the end of the tunnel that was his painful journey... She was the only one who ever made him feel anything. The only one who mattered to him anymore.

His little buddy.

That was why he had to find her. To protect her. This world, Olathe, was vile... Cruel... it'd chew her up and spit her out like tobacco if it got the chance. She was just a kid. She was his daughter. He might've been a nobody, a waste of space... But he wasn't gonna let that happen.

After a life filled with wrong... this was finally his chance to do something right.

He grunted, lurching himself forward onto his knees from where he'd fallen. His old, worn hands scraped up dirt underneath their fingernails, the soil dry and cracked from the same blistering sun that beat down constantly on his gleaming bare head. He managed to feel his way over on his hands and knees to the nearby tundra wall, those natural formations man had built into to turn caves into homes over the years since the Great White Flash, providing him with the support he needed to slowly, painstakingly ease himself up, years of hardship taking their toll on his nevertheless-strong bones.

It was only after he brought his gaze up from averting the sunlight that he saw it. It was her... A picture of her, anyway. One of the many he'd seen since his journey began. Though his gaze lingered on the photograph, it was the message etched in blood underneath it that truly captured his attention.

FIND THE GIRL!
She is our future!

... Future...

What a load of crap. They were sick. Depraved. They'd use her up like a tissue until she was spent. They only wanted to hurt her.

One scrap of meat couldn't feed an entire goddamn world of hungry dogs, and they knew it. They didn't care about the "future" - there was no future. One girl couldn't change that. The only thing they cared about was their own perverted desires... Everything else was trivial to them. Including her life. He knew what they'd do. He'd seen it.

He was the only one who could protect her.

"... Buddy."

He looked up, features almost completely hidden between his bushy brows and thick beard, save for the overwhelming resolve emblazoned all across his face.

"I'm coming."

Nothing was going to stop him.

---

Some time later.

Brad marched on.

Night was falling, but he didn't let that deter him. Even when the cold winds started to blow in the absence of the sun, the old master simply held his poncho tight and blew into his fingers to warm them, rubbing his hands together to generate friction. He paid no mind to the howls of animals off in the distance, nor the deep, rattling moans of other things entirely that rang out in response. Things that really didn't merit thinking about. Those were bridges he'd cross only if he had to. As it turned out, he wouldn't... tonight. But there was another bridge waiting for him just up ahead.

A cave. It went right through the mountain and offered shelter from the wind, at least, so he'd make use of it. The trouble came with knowing there was a good chance the dangers inside outweighed the one posed by the cold.

Not that he cared. You couldn't hit the cold.

Brad didn't hesitate...

Into the cave he went.

"..."

His first impression was that it was quiet. The stead drip, drip, drip of rainwater trickling in from above was the only sound that greeted him, its rhythm almost soothing. For a moment, he allowed himself to believe the path was clear...

Then he saw it.

In the corner of his eye. Something moved. Not a shadow, but... something like... an absence of shadow. A pale figure of white where there should've been black. It made no sense, but nothing in this world did. He'd stopped questioning it a long time ago.

Brad spun around with speed that belied his aging demeanor, the rustle of his poncho cutting through the silence like a blunted knife. He turned, raised his fists, and came face-to-face with... nothing.

Less than nothing. Just rocks and silence.

Was it in his head...? Was it the Joy playing tricks on him? No way... this didn't fit the MO of his usual delusions, and he trusted his instincts. He knew it was real. There was something here.

What it was, he didn't know. But--

"Hiya!"

A voice suddenly piped up from directly behind him. It sounded close. Too close.

"..."

Brad turned around.

"... What the hell..."

It was impossible. How? The nobody's grim features didn't betray much surprise, but his voice said it all. What he was seeing was unbelievable. Unprecedented.

Well, almost unprecedented.

"You're a..."

He didn't finish, so after a moment, the other person did it for him. His brain was still trying to process what he was seeing.

"A girl. Thanks, happy you noticed."

She cut a young, slender figure, her skin pale like snow and contrasting a gothic sense of style. Black lipstick and eyeliner made her look like something straight out of the pre-White Flash days, and over one shoulder she twirled an embroidered lace parasol that didn't look like it'd be very effective at stopping rain. Her posture was relaxed, composed, and generally cheerful.

Too cheerful for Olathe.

"I don't understand..."
​

"Ha! Sometimes it's just easier not to try, I suppose. Don't worry your shiny bald head about it. Me, I'm just the talking air, out for a stroll."​

She made to step around him, only to react with mild bemusement when Brad suddenly took her by the wrist and started gently but adamantly leading her away.

"Well, now I don't understand. Where we off to, then? Anywhere good?"

He didn't answer her immediately, almost too deep in thought to even hear what she said. After a moment, however, he shook his head.

"... We need to find you clothes... Something that covers your shape. And a hood... A mask..."

It was clear now that his mind was already working a thousand paces ahead, trying its best to adjust to the sudden shock of seeing this strange girl. Even while his logical side protested, his guilt compelled him to want to protect her. Just like he protected Buddy. Just like... like he should've done before. It was only right.

The girl herself, however, seemed to find this hysterical, masking a hearty laugh with the back of her hand while making no move to resist being dragged along.

"Oooh, right! Well... Cheers, but I like the way I look now. And what you're trying to do is nice, but unnecessary. Haven't you got your own problems to deal with?"

"..."

Brad stopped. He turned around to face her fully, unable to bring himself to meet her gaze, posture slouched as recollection flashed in his eyes... When he looked at her, he didn't see the pale girl with the parasol and strange markings. Brad saw someone else. The landscape morphed to hideous red gore and sinew. Noise blared in his ears, a mishmash of poor-quality cable static and distorted sitcom laugh tracks. Just like HE used to watch. In the center of it all stood a girl in a white nightgown, matted with blood, vomit and tears.

L I S A.
LISALISALISALISA

These were the hallucinations he was used to. The fruits of Joy.

"... You don't know... Please... You're one of the last. One of the last women. The people out there, they'll..."

"Bradley."

She stopped him in his tracks with a single word, the girl's chipper expression giving way to one that was almost haunting. Her expression carried the wisdom of untold billions of years, and behind her youthful eyes lay every spectrum, every nook and cranny of existence condensed into a swirling cosmos of eternity.

​

"I know. You're afraid they'll hurt me. Beat me, kill me, or worse. And you're afraid because you've seen it, and because you never want to see it again. But it's not that simple for me; I'm nothing you should be worrying about. It might be hard for you to understand this, but I think it'll make you feel better... there's not a thing in this world that can harm me if I don't want it to. It doesn't exist. So all that worry, all that compassion... those aren't things you should be feeling for me, Brad. They're things you should be saving for her."​

Silence reigned once she was finished, the girl having nothing more to say for the time being. The grizzled, miserable man before her simply couldn't think of anything to begin with for a few moments. When those moments were up, however, he found it in himself to speak.

"... How... How do you know my name?"

In response, the pale girl simply twirled her parasol, a friendly smile playing on the edges of her lips.

"I know everyone's name. But enough about me, I'm not very interesting. Wanna go to a party?"

Again, Brad's face wasn't one that channeled surprise easily, but it still took him a moment or two to truly comprehend the absurdity of that question. During this time, he said nothing.

"I'm allowed a plus-one. I was invited a few months ago, reckoned it might be fun. For you, I mean, not for me. I'll be working."

She sighed overdramatically, rolling her eyes like a teenager who didn't want to go to school. After a few more seconds, Brad shook his head.

"I can't. There's someone who needs me."

He didn't doubt the validity of the things this girl was saying, somehow, but none of it changed the facts. He didn't have the time or interest for parties. He turned away, intent on continuing down the winding passage of the cave, but stopped when he heard what the woman had to say afterwards.

"If you're sure. I can tell you for a fact that she's safe, though, and she'll stay that way 'til well after things wrap up where I'm going. Plus, I think it might be good for you... Who knows? Maybe we'll both learn something."

She smiled, folding up the parasol and turning away herself to proceed in the opposite direction. She hadn't made it so much as five steps when a portal opened up in front of her, seemingly a doorway in the very fabric of existence, one bathed in a light so bright it was impossible to see what lay on the other side. Before stepping through, she spared a final glance over her shoulder at Brad where he'd stopped to stare at the spectacle.

"My offer stands. Just follow along if you change your mind, all right? Tell you the truth, I could use the company."

And just like that, she was gone, leaving Brad in an empty cave with a door to someplace else shimmering before him.

"..."

Brad started walking.

---

Shortly thereafter.

"You're not on the list dood! Sorry dood!"

"..."

This was a stupid fucking idea.

Brad was about to turn around and go right back the way he came, back through the portal, and back to his own goddamn world and problems, when he was interrupted by a shout from just nearby.

"Oh! That's him, Pingu! That's my plus-one!"

It was the girl from before, now wearing some kind of long, flowing cloak with a hood and scythe. She jogged up, looking apologetic but nevertheless sporting a big smile.

"I told you my name's not Pingu dood! I'm not even sure we accept plus-ones dood, but I'll go check with my manager right now dood! Wait here dood!"

It waddled away without another word, and the girl quickly winked and beckoned Brad into the main ballroom. When he complied, he almost felt the urge to stop and do a spit-take at what he saw. There were girls, and women, everywhere. Laughing, smiling... Existing happily, as normal. Just like before the Flash.

Now this was unprecedented.

But contrary to the vast majority of the depraved, disgusting human beings who pervaded his homeland of Olathe, all of whom would've been beside themselves with lust, Brad's thoughts never so much as wavered towards the carnal. He never felt he deserved a wife, or love in general, and that didn't change after all his world's women died off. There was only one thing on his mind.

"... This could be a safe place for her."

Somewhere Buddy could be the normal girl she deserved to be. Somewhere she could live without fear of being the last girl in existence, the object of every pervert's depraved fantasies. Somewhere she could just... live.

This was it. Everything she deserved... was here.

But Buddy wasn't.

"I suppose it could." The strange girl echoed, snapping Brad from his thoughts and alerting him to the fact that she was looking at him. He returned eye contact this time, posture considerably straighter than it was before.

"What do I call you? I don't even know your name."

The goth smirked, tilting her head to one side with fascination.

"Didi's good. Enjoy the party, Brad. I'll be around."

And just like that, she was gone. Melded into the crowd of partygoers like an expert, off to do who-knows-what. Brad, on the other hand, stood there, having no idea how to proceed in a scenario like this.

Now what?​