The worst genie ever

NOOOOO!!!

your wish is granted, but you realize that you will never be able to attain greatness and thus fall into a deep pit of murky despair.

I wish for a pet ferret.
 
Granted for @JooJ BizzzziB . You can easily ruin the wishes of @others. But he/she has not joined this forum yet.
I wish that all the colleges just get shut down.
 
Granted but only when nobody else is listening.

I wish for one million dolars worth of expired coupons.
 
Granted, but all the coupons are for a Blockbuster.

I wish for a talking dolphin who speaks Chinese and does magic tricks.
 
Granted, but you are hardly ever sleepy often only sleeping once every 3 days.

I wish for as much Pizza as I can eat!
 
Granted- pizza delivery for every meal. It doesn't stop. The pizza piles up and up and up. There is no end. You are eventually buried by a cheesy mountain. The doorbell rings... it's more pizza.

Also, it's all topped with pineapple.

I wish I were a better guitar player.
 
Granted, but flying is all you can do. Your legs and arms have become wings. Walking or even going down is impossible. All you can do is go up and up and up until you hit Jupiter. But even then, you're pretty certain you couldn't walk there even if you wanted to.

I wish my pet goldfish hadn't 'run away'.
 
You got it! You find a smal, crude wooded figure of a dog, vith a word "pet" carved in-to it.

I wish my dreams to be full of red roses!
 
Granted, but they still have all their thorns attached and constantly rake across your body causing your dream self to itch horribly all the time.

I wish for a box of chocolates.
 
Granted: You get really good at pulling out the winner for contests ("drawing" from a hat <3)

I wish I was finished with law school already.
 
Sure! After you die, you rise as a vampire, angel of death, since no mortal can actualy become a real angel, or demon.

I want to have violet eyes.
 
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