The worst genie ever

[Silence]

Granted, but you will wither away before eternity.

I wish for a smile.

 

[Deido256]

Your wish shall be granted... someone smiles as they piss on your grave in the future (sorry silence! Wuf you!)

I wish for Perfection in the world...

 

[Silence]

You're wish will be granted...but only after mankind is annihilated.

I wish for more time in a day

 

[Deido256]

Granted! The day now has 58638587 hours a day, but you have to stay awake for all sun hours meaning you die from exhaustion

I wish for @Silence to be my friend :3

 

[Silence]

Wish granted but, unfortunately I'm a very busy person.

I wish that I wouldn't die of exhaustion.

 

[Deido256]

Wish granted, you now die from people shooting you in the night :3

I wish for a bigger... potato

 

[Silence]

Granted, but you're allergic to it.

I wish for all my papers to be done.

(best way to get a hold of me is through pm. @Deido256 )

 

[Deido256]

Granted, they are done, the worst way possible!

I have a wish? I wish I knew that earlier!

 

[Silence]

Granted, but you are not able to do anything with your foresight.

I wish I were a rich man.

 

[Deido256]

Granted, you WERE a rich man :3

I wish my wish wasn't ruined

 

[Silence]

Wish granted, but I'm not a genie so it won't come true.

I wish to be the smartest person alive

 

[Deido256]

Granted! You are the smartest person alive because a nuclear war killed everyone else!

I wish this wasn't a game between me and @Silence

 

[~Nemo~]

Granted, but the extra player is a Filthy Frank fan.

I wish for a puppy.

 

[Deido256]

You get a puppy! but I drive over it

I wish for a new wish

 

[~Nemo~]

Granted, but upon gaining the new wish you create a paradox so above human understanding that it rips a hole in the time-space continuum.

I wish for some carrot cake.

 

[Deido256]

Granted, you get a carrot cake but the Time-Space continuum hole rips it apart aswell

I wish for a bigger... Cucumber

 

[Imperatus Rex]

Granted, but the cucumber is being eaten by an equally large caterpillar.
I wish for an alpaca.

 

[~Nemo~]

Granted, but you actually get a llama.

I wish for a pet ostrich.

 

[Imperatus Rex]

Granted, but the ostrich has no feathers.

I wish for a can of Hormel Chili.

 

[~Nemo~]

Granted, but it's seven years past expiration.
I wish for an immortal puppy.